Torn (8 page)

Daley came back after dinner and gave us a lecture: ‘I will not tolerate bullying blah blah blah. If anyone knows who did this blah blah blah.’ We’d heard (and ignored) it all before. There was nothing she could do. Polly had been chosen for this years ago. She was the sacrificial lamb. We ALL let it happen – every single one of us. We were just relieved it was
someone else.
Anyone
else, as long as it wasn’t us. Nothing Polly could do would ever be good enough for us to accept her.

By some sort of unspoken agreement, Rae, Cass and I headed straight back to the cabin after dinner. I passed Tara on the way out. She was armed with black bin bags to gather up the bog roll. I glared at her. It was the best I could do. She smiled back. I didn’t punch her in the face.

I’d expected to find Polly a sobbing, broken heap on the bed, but she was sitting cross-legged on the bed looking perfectly perky. She was putting moisturizer on her hands. Something about the care she was taking made me think of surgeons scrubbing up on those medical dramas on TV.

‘Polly, hi. How are you doing?’ I sat down on the bed next to her.

‘I’m fine.’ Before I could express my scepticism, she continued, ‘Really. I’m not going to let it bother me any more. They’re the pathetic ones, not me.’

‘Then why did you decorate the wall with your dinner?’ asked Cass, her usual diplomatic self.

Polly shrugged. ‘For dramatic effect?’

We laughed.
Wow. She’s handling this
way
better than I would. I’d never want to show my face in front of that lot again.

‘You know who it was, right? That fucking bitch. Someone really needs to teach her a lesson sometime.’ Cass was properly indignant.

Polly shrugged again. ‘Maybe they will. One day.’

‘It’d be nice to wipe the smirk off her stupid, perfect face.’ Cass had her ‘thinking’ look on. It was so obvious when she was plotting something; she was like a bad cartoon sometimes.

‘Cass, just leave it. Polly’s OK, and that’s all that matters.’

‘I
won’t
leave it. Tara can’t keep treating people like this and getting away with it.’

‘She’s been doing it for years and no one’s ever bothered about it before.’ I wanted this conversation to stop.

‘Well, it’s about time someone did,’ said Cass.

‘And I suppose you’re that
someone
, are you?’

‘Maybe I am.’ Cass grinned at Polly and Polly smiled back.

‘Whatever. I’m going to take a shower.’

I gathered my stuff and headed for the bathroom, glad to escape for a while. Why couldn’t they just accept that Tara was Queen Bee and that was just the way things were. Nothing was going to change – not now. No one was going to be able to embarrass her the way she’d embarrassed Polly.
I doubt Tara’s felt
embarrassed for years. Except for that time she called a teacher ‘Grandma’ by mistake. But even then she managed to laugh it off in a way I never could have.

I took the longest shower I could get away with, relishing the peace. When I eventually came out of the bathroom, Rae was listening to her iPod and Cass and Polly were sitting on Polly’s bed, whispering. It was good to see Cass being nice to Polly, especially since she’d never been particularly nice
about
her. But Cass had a natural sense of what was right and what was not. And the way Polly had been treated most definitely fell into the ‘not’ category.

Cass scooted back over to her own bed. She was looking very pleased with herself, which made me suspicious. Before I could ask what she was up to, Tara came sweeping in.

‘What’s up, ladies?’ I could hardly believe her nerve.

Cass’s face transformed from smug to scared quicker than you could blink. ‘Tara! Did you see him?’
Eh? What is she on about?

Tara was as confused as me. ‘What? Who?’

‘The man … there was a man. Outside. Looking in the window.’

‘Bullshit!’ Tara laughed. ‘You probably just saw your own reflection, loser.’

‘No. It was a man. I SAW him, I swear it.’

Tara stood with her hands on her hips. ‘Oooh! A man! That must have been particularly terrifying for you … given your
preferences
.’

A timid voice piped up from the corner. ‘I saw him too.’ So Polly was in on it. Whatever
it
was.

Tara rolled her eyes. ‘It was probably Mr Miles, or Duncan or Paul.’

Cass shook her head, all solemn. ‘I don’t think so. Unless one of them would have a good reason to be wearing a balaclava and creeping round our cabin.’

Tara looked from Cass to Polly and then back again. Then she looked at me for verification. ‘Did you see this mystery man then, Alice?’

‘I … just got out of the shower.’

Tara glanced over at Rae, but she was oblivious to everything. For just a second, I thought Tara looked unsure. But only for a second. ‘Well, if some perv wants to check us out, then let’s give him a proper show.’ She whipped off her T-shirt and jiggled in front of the window.

‘Tara! Don’t!’ Cass jumped up and pulled the curtains together violently.

‘
Tara! Don’t!
Don’t be so pathetic, Cass. It was probably just some local yokel getting his jollies. I
mean, who can blame him.’ She gestured at herself and laughed.

‘I think we should tell someone,’ said Polly.

‘I’ll tell Daley in the morning, but I don’t think we should tell any of the others. No point scaring everyone.’ Cass looked serious. Her face didn’t particularly suit serious.

Tara snorted. ‘No one would believe you anyway. Right … if you lot have quite finished wetting your pants over nothing … Oops, sorry, Sutcliffe – bad choice of words. Anyway, I’m going to bed.’ Polly’s face was expressionless. The words just bounced off her; she had a force field now. And an ally.

We all got ready for bed. I was trying to work out what the hell was going on. Obviously Cass and Polly were lying about the man at the window. But why? It’d take more than the idea of some peeping Tom to spook Tara.

When I was sure the others were asleep I crept over to Cass’s bed and shook her.

‘Wha …?’

‘What was all that about? That “man at the window” crap?’ I whispered.

Her grin shone bright white in the darkness. ‘Oh, that. Just something me and Polly came up with.’

‘Since when have you and Polly been partners-in-crime?’

‘Since she decided to fight back against Tara the super-bitch.’

‘Making up some story isn’t exactly what I’d call fighting back.’

‘Don’t you worry – that was just Stage One.’ She was completely awake now and the glee was bursting out of her voice. ‘Wait till you see what we’ve got in store for her. It’ll be epic.’

‘What are you going to do?’ I tried my best to sound bored, but I was desperate to know what she was up to.

Cass tapped her nose. ‘I’m afraid that’s classified information.’

‘
Classified!
You’re so ridiculous. Look, Cass, just tell me.’

‘Nope, sorry. No can do. You’d only try and talk us out of it. I
know
you.’

‘Fine. Be like that. See if I care.’ I scampered back to my own bed and flung the covers over my head. I was fuming; I hated being out of the loop. Cass usually told me everything. Which meant this plan of hers had to be A Bad Idea.

I couldn’t sleep that night and woke up feeling megacranky. Tara was the only other one awake. She was looking out of the window at the misty morning. She looked like a normal human being, a
nice
normal human being. She heard me emerging from my cocoon of tartan.

‘Morning, Alice.’ This was maybe the nicest thing she’d said to me for four years or more, but I tried not to read too much into it.

‘Morning.’

‘Wow. You look like shit.’
Ah, that’s more like it.

‘Thanks.’

‘Do you believe that bollocks Cass was on about last night? Some crazy psycho stalking us?’

The way I saw it, I had a choice: a) tell her that of course I didn’t believe it. Cass was just trying to wind her up, or b) lie. It was not a difficult decision to make.

‘Well, Cass seemed pretty freaked out about it. And it takes a lot to freak her out.’

‘I wouldn’t worry about it,’ she said.

‘I’m not.’

‘Oh.’

I felt like I’d scored a point. The score currently stood at: Tara – 13,472 points (give or take a few), Alice – 1.

Tara meandered over to my bed and lowered her voice. ‘You know, just for the record, it wasn’t me who told everyone about Polly.’

‘I don’t believe you.’ I felt terribly brave, saying those words out loud.

‘You can believe what you want. I couldn’t care less.’

‘And I suppose you had nothing to do with the toilet roll in the dining room either?’
Shut up, Alice. This cannot end well for you.

Tara looked me in the eye, and I felt like she was seeing the inside of me.
All that is Alice.
I was sure she was going to say something that would cut me to the core, leaving me feeling hollow and worthless. But she just smiled at me. Not a smirk this time, a smile. But it was a sad sort of smile. A smile that hinted at what used to be. What might have been.

I had no idea what to make of it, and was relieved
when she released me from her gaze and headed into the bathroom. I didn’t believe her. It
had
to have been her who told everyone about Polly.

Monday was mercifully less eventful than the day before. We went kayaking on the loch, which turned out to be almost fun. I shared a kayak with Rae. Cass was with Polly, which made me uneasy.

Tara had managed to wangle her way into Duncan’s kayak. She kept on asking him questions, and you could just tell he was loving the attention. He was careful not to act too keen when Daley was around, but that wasn’t too much of a problem – Daley and Mr Miles were woefully inadequate at manoeuvring their kayak. They couldn’t paddle in time to save their lives; whenever she wanted to go left, he wanted to go right. It was a total shambles.

The afternoon brought orienteering in the rain. The rain was different from London rain: icy needles flying horizontally at your face. Once again I found myself paired with Rae, who could at least read a compass. I let her lead the way, making sure she knew I wanted to get back to camp and get dry as soon as was humanly possible. We even talked a bit. I asked her what kind of music she was into, and she
went off on one – talking a million miles a minute. It was as if the words had been all bottled up and she’d just been waiting for someone to actually ask before popping the cork. I’d never heard of half the bands she mentioned, but I nodded in all the right places.

We managed to finish the course before I got hypothermia, which was a relief. Tara and Danni had somehow managed to get back first. They were looking mighty pleased with themselves, huddled over their mugs of hot chocolate. They must have cheated. Tara looked up when I came squelching in. She gave me a little wave, and I waved back, not wanting to look rude.
Idiot.

The other girls came in two by two, laughing and bitching and moaning. Daley checked them all off on her list. Until there were only two missing: Cass and Polly. We waited. Everyone had an extra hot chocolate. We waited some more. Miss Daley started to look restless. Jess told her to give them another ten minutes or so, but it was obvious she was worried too – she kept on fiddling with her dreadlocks. Still, we waited. Just as Daley was about to burst a blood vessel from stress, in they strolled. Soaked to the skin and looking sheepish.

‘Where on earth have you two been? We were worried about you!’

‘Sorry, miss. But map-reading is haaaaaard. We ended up going in completely the wrong direction. It was totally my fault,’ said Cass. Polly nodded fervently.

I wondered why Cass was lying. She knew how to read maps the way I knew how to read the back of cereal boxes.

They came over and sat with me and Rae in the corner.

‘So you got lost, did you?’ I didn’t try to mask the scepticism in my voice.

‘Of course not! We were exploring.’ Cass looked at Polly and they both laughed. I think I preferred the old Polly.

‘In this weather? Cass, you’re crazy.’

‘It’s only a bit of rain! Besides, it’ll be worth it.’ More secret looks between Cass and Polly.

OK, I’ll admit it: I was feeling kind of left out. I didn’t like this new alliance one little bit. Yes, it was cool that Cass was being nice to Polly. But she didn’t have to be her NBF, did she?
What about me? OLD Best Friend.
I knew I was being stupid. There was no way Polly was going to replace me. Their blossoming friendship was temporary, borne out of mutual Tara-loathing. It would be over soon, I was sure of it.