Torn (Lords of the City #1) (39 page)

“Yes. Linda, the other kindergarten teacher, is handling everything for me.”

“Did you tell her what’s really going on?”

I nodded and reached for a sauce-drenched rib. “She would have found out eventually. But she won’t run her mouth to the rest of the school.”

I picked it up by the bone and the meat fell back to the plate. Ethan picked up a dripping handful, tossed it into his mouth, then passed me a paper towel before tearing one off for himself.

“Do you want to keep talking about it?” he continued after chasing his bite with a gulp of wine.

I shook my head. “I’d like to talk about anything but, actually.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” he replied with a grin, sending my heart into another happy race. “I’m interested in so much more than your relationship with your ex,” he continued. “I want to know everything there is to know about you. What inspired you to go into teaching?”

I reached for my wine and Ethan shook his head, his eyes darting to the ribs.

“You’ve got to get something in your stomach, Emily. Trust me, you’ll feel much better tomorrow if you eat something.”

There was no point in arguing. I knew he was right. I took a bite of smoky, tangy meat, and then answered Ethan’s question as I stripped three more bones.

“When I started high school, a guidance counselor explained that I’d need extracurricular activities for my college applications. We were never in one place long enough for me to join any teams or clubs. But every school I went to had a shortage of tutors. I’d always done really well in school, and the job was a natural fit.”

I ate another bite of the ribs and wiped my hands on the paper towel.

“These are delicious. This is quite the meal for something you scared up in the kitchen.”

“You lucked out.” He licked sauce from his thumb and my stomach twisted. “I forgot these were in the fridge. So you became a teacher because you enjoyed tutoring so much? Somehow, I feel like there’s more to it than that.”

I swallowed another mouthful and tore off another paper towel to wipe my mouth. “You got me,” I agreed with a sigh. “Growing up with my uncle was exciting and, for the most part, I loved my childhood. But it made me tired, Ethan. Tired of uprooting, tired of being alone. The school gives me a foundation, somewhere I can belong. And I get to contribute to the foundations of a bunch of precious tiny people,” I added with a genuine smile.

“So you’re a homebody? You don’t like to travel?” he pressed, his eyebrows drawing together in concern.

“I don’t like to travel. See, that’s all the more reason we should just be friends,” I teased.

I dropped another bite of barbecue into my mouth and awkwardly swallowed while he studied me. I decided to change the subject.

“So what made you decide to play football? I don’t mean to be indelicate, but do you really even have to work?”

Ethan frowned. “You mean couldn’t I just live off of my stepfather’s money?”

“I know that sounds tacky,” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat again. “But yeah, I guess that’s what I mean.”

“Don’t worry. I get that a lot,” he confided. “I could live off of Victor’s money if I wanted to. He certainly has enough of it. But what kind of man would that make me? I’m good at what I do, Emily. I’m good at
everything
I do. If I didn’t play football, if I didn’t take advantage of my talents, everything I am would be wasted. Does that make any sense?”

I nodded and tried to stifle a yawn. The wine and the emotions of the day were catching up with me and my eyelids grew heavy. Ethan noticed.

“You’re exhausted.” He gathered the discarded paper towels and tossed them into the bar side trash can. My heart thumped when he reached for my hand.

“Come on. I’ll get you some sweats and show you to the guest room.”

Ethan led me through the house, stopping at the room at the end of the west wing. He pushed open the door but stayed in the hallway.

“If you feel like washing up, the guest suite has its own bath. My room is right here,” he added. He took a few steps backward and opened a door on the opposite wall. “My sweats will probably swallow you, but they’ll be more comfortable than your jeans.”

I followed him into the room and perched on the foot of his bed. As I’d expected, Ethan’s room was meticulously organized. He opened a dresser drawer and retrieved a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that had been cut off at the knees.

“These are just ratty old practice pants,” he explained. “But they won’t drag on the ground.”

“Works for me.” I took the clothes from his hands, resisting the urge to hold them to my chest. Half of me wanted to pull him down beside me on the bed. The other half knew that was the last thing I should be thinking about. I decided to play it safe and rose to my feet.

“I’m glad you found me tonight, Emily,” Ethan offered as I walked toward the door. I paused and looked over my shoulder.

“I’m glad I did too, Ethan. Thanks for listening to me.”

“Anytime.”

***

Ethan tucked me into his guest bed and I spent the next hour trying to get to sleep. My body was exhausted, but my mind was racing. Ben’s betrayal stung, but it wasn’t what was keeping me awake. My proximity to Ethan was what had me reeling and I fought the urge to leave my bed for his.

I can’t jump from one man to another. Ethan’s charming, and he really does seem to be interested in me. But I don’t know him yet. And I can’t kick off my newly single status with a one-night stand… can I?

I tossed beneath the blankets, trying to get comfortable enough to drift off to sleep. But my mind kept returning to the last night I’d tried to be intimate with Ben. It dawned on me that I didn’t actually remember the last time I’d had sex.

Okay, so I’m horny. But Ethan isn’t the man to scratch that itch with. If I jump into bed with him too soon, he’ll never respect me. I’ll ruin any chance of having a real relationship with him.

That thought made me pause.

Do I want a real relationship with him? I don’t even know right now. Which is precisely why I need to stay put. He’s probably asleep by now, anyway.

About that time, I heard Ethan’s bedroom door creak open. I held my breath, hoping he was on his way to me. But after a few long, tense seconds, I realized that was just wishful thinking. A few minutes later, I heard his door close again.

Screw it. If I stay here, I’m going to be up all night fantasizing about what might have happened. I’ll go cuddle with him and see what happens from there.

My heart in my throat, I kicked off the blankets and padded barefoot across the thick shag carpet. I reached Ethan’s door and knocked softly on the thick wood.

“Come in,” he called out, his voice muffled through the wall.

I pushed the door open and slipped into the room. I lingered just inside, suddenly nervous that Ethan didn’t want my company. He pushed himself up against the headboard and flipped on his bedside lamp. His bare, well-defined chest drew my eyes and made it difficult for me to talk.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked, his voice sympathetic and understanding.

I shook my head. “No. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“It’s okay, Emily,” he assured me. He pulled down the blankets beside him and patted the mattress.

“If you’re not in the mood to be alone, you’re welcome to sleep in here with me. I promise I’ll be a gentleman.”

“Thanks,” I replied, unsure if I was happy or upset with his promise but climbed into the bed and snuggled under the blankets. Ethan left the lamp on and curled his body around mine.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, his mouth just inches from my neck.

“This is perfect.” And it was.

We laid in silence for a few minutes as I listened to the steady in and out of Ethan’s breathing. It slowed, becoming deeper and I knew he was ready for sleep. I was anything but. I raised a hand to the arm he had draped over me and started tracing light, teasing circles on his smooth skin.

Ethan let out a soft, happy moan and moved into my touch. I turned in his arms and gave him a bold, hard kiss on the mouth. He flinched in surprise, but then kissed me back. He pushed one hand beneath my t-shirt and gripped my side roughly before stopping himself and rolling away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know you’re not ready. I got a little carried away.”

I rolled closer to him and kissed his shoulder. “I think I started this,” I told him, kissing a trail to his neck.

“Oh, Emily,” he groaned as my lips found his earlobe. His tone fluctuated between passion and frustration, and he stopped me just as I was about to climb into his lap.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” he pleaded. “I want you. Of course I want you. But I want
all
of you. And right now, you’re emotional… and a little drunk.”

“I’m not at all drunk,” I corrected him with a pout. “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted this as much as I do. I’ll go back to the other room.”

Ethan grabbed me and pulled me back into his arms. “I don’t want you to go anywhere,” he confessed. “And believe me, I wish I could rip your clothes off right now. But I’m just not sure this is the right time. Like I said, I want all of you. When we make love… and we will, Emily, I want it to be about you and me, nothing more. And right now, I know what happened with Ben is motivating most of your decisions.”

“You’re wrong,” I argued. “I mean, Ben’s popped into my head a few times. But not in a ‘I wish I had him’ or a ‘I want to get back at him’ way. My only thought about Ben is that I should have left him months ago. If I had, I would have been free to give you my number that first night we met. I wanted to, you know.”

I laid my head on Ethan’s shoulder and he stroked my back.

“You did?” His tone was one of happy disbelief.

I nodded against his chest. “I did. I resented the fact that I had a boyfriend, that I wasn’t free to be with you. But I’m here now.”

I kissed Ethan’s neck and he turned his face, his mouth finding mine. His hands slid up and down my body, caressing me as our tongues danced together. Desire ignited, burning between my legs and I needed to be closer. As I climbed on top of him, he gripped me roughly by the hips and pulled his face away from mine, staring up at me with lust and infatuation.

“You’re here now,” he agreed. “And I want you, Emily. I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you. But if we’re going to do this, I need to know you’re in it for the long haul. I’m not looking for casual sex, Em. Not with you. So if you need more time, I understand. I can be patient.”

I held his face in my hands and clenched my legs around his waist. “You’re not the only one who’s wanted this since the night we met. I’ve never felt like this before. And I’m more than ready to figure out what it means.”

Ethan gave me a devilish smile and flipped me onto my back, hovering above me with his weight on his hands.

“I’m going to make you feel better than you’ve ever felt in your life,” he promised.

I smiled back at him and raised my arms over my head. He pulled off the t-shirt, taking in the sight of me before diving for my breasts. He teased one nipple between his fingers, the other between his lips, and I felt myself gush wet with anticipation. I pushed the baggy sweatpants to my thighs, kicking them the rest of the way off as Ethan slid his lips up my neck. He nibbled my earlobe and pushed one hand under my black lace panties.

“Oh God,” I cried out as he pushed a single finger inside me.

“You’re so wet,” he said into my ear.

I was too overwhelmed with pleasure to respond with anything more than a groan. I wrapped an arm around Ethan’s neck, anchoring myself to him as I writhed beneath his touch. He pulled free of my grasp, lowering his head to replace his fingers with his tongue.

“Oh… Ethan,” I gasped.

“Just give over to it,” he whispered, his hot breath tickling my clit. “Just enjoy what you’re feeling.”

He buried his tongue in me again and I let my eyes fall shut. With each movement of his tongue, Ethan pushed me closer to the edge until I finally spasmed with release. He lapped my juices as I came down from my orgasm, gentling me before moving up my body and reaching to retrieve a condom from the bedside table.

“Not so fast,” I insisted. I sat up and pushed Ethan onto his back, his head pointing at the footboard. I straddled his legs and reached for the bulge beneath his shorts. He relaxed against the mattress and let out a soft moan as I stroked him through the silky fabric.

“Does that feel good?” I asked, tightening my hand around his cock.

Ethan let out a sharp gasp and nodded. I slipped my free hand up the leg of his shorts, surprising him with my bare touch.

“What about that?” I teased.

Ethan nodded again and I released him just long enough to tug the shorts down his legs. His long, thick cock stood at perfect attention, begging to be touched.

My God, he’s gigantic. This is going to be fun.

I gripped the base of his shaft with one hand and lowered my lips to the head, never breaking eye contact with Ethan. He gathered my hair in one hand, holding it out of his view as I licked up his shaft, then took most of him in my mouth. When I cupped his balls, he groaned but pushed me away.

“I don’t want to come yet,” he explained, his voice coming out in broken heaves. “Oh God, Emily, you’re so amazing.”

He palmed the back of my head with one hand and pulled my lips to his once more. He rolled me onto my back and used his tongue to blaze a trail from my chin to my clit. He licked me twice with long, firm strokes, before turning his attention back to the nightstand. He pulled a condom from the top drawer, opened it with his teeth, and stroked my wet, waiting tunnel with one hand while he rolled the condom down his shaft with the other.

“I want you, Ethan,” I moaned beneath him.

He moved in front of me with his weight on his knees and took me roughly by the hips, lifting my ass off the bed.

“I’m yours,” he said, thrusting into me with one long, swift motion. He held still, waiting for me to stretch and adjust to his girth.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, slowly rotating his hips.