Torn (Lords of the City #1) (40 page)

“I’m perfect.” I couldn’t say anything more; the words simply wouldn’t come.

I folded my legs around Ethan’s body and rocked my hips up and down while his moved back and forth. His cock stirred within me, churning my passion to new heights. I moved quicker, more forcefully, and reached for Ethan’s neck. I pulled him downward and he let my legs drop to the mattress as he shifted his weight to his arms and drove into me harder.

“You feel so amazing,” he whispered into my ear. I sucked his lobe and ran my long nails lightly down his back. I was overcome with desperate, animalistic desire. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before and I turned myself over to it, lost in the passion of the moment.

“Oh… God,” Ethan moaned again.

“Yeah?” I tightened my pussy around him and every throb of his cock sent waves of pleasure through my body. I dug my nails into his back and met him thrust for thrust.

“I’m going to come,” he warned through gasping breaths.

“Come with me, baby,” I cried out, already in the throes of my release.

Ethan rose to his knees again, pulling my hips into his body as he thrust forward. I felt myself gush around his cock and he let out one final gasp as his cock trembled and exploded inside me. Ethan immediately pulled out, gripping the condom and then pulling it off and tossing it into the wastebasket by the nightstand. He took me in his arms and pulled me to the pillows. We snuggled in together, holding each other and reveling in the moment.

“That was amazing,” I told him, a happy sigh lingering on my lips.

“Amazing doesn’t cover it,” he corrected me. He planted a soft kiss on my neck. “This is just the beginning, Emily,” he promised.

***

I woke up early the next morning to the sound of Ethan’s blaring clock radio. I slapped the top of it until my hand found the snooze button and instinctively rolled to his side of the bed. The sheets were empty and cold. I sat up and found a note, a bathrobe, and a single long-stemmed red rose on the foot of the mattress.

In my home gym, fourth door on the right down the east hallway.
Breakfast is waiting on the veranda. Join me when you’re finished.

I kicked off the blankets, pulled on my robe, and padded barefoot down the hallway. The house looked even worse with sunlight trickling through the windows and reflecting off the gaudy walls. But I understood why Ethan bought it. The original moldings and architecture were stunning and I couldn’t wait to see how Ethan restored it.

I found the veranda, where I was reminded Ethan was a health conscious athlete. I found chia seed pudding, fresh fruit, and a coffee decanter waiting on the table. I ate the pudding in four huge spoonful’s, tossed a slice of mango in my mouth, and carried my coffee toward the gym. I found Ethan running on a treadmill.

He wore earbuds and was wrapped up in a roundtable discussion on the finance channel. I didn’t want to startle him, so I leaned against the wall and watched him work out. His body was so firm and defined that every muscle looked like it had been hand chiseled from marble. His bare skin glistened with sweat and my mind flashed back to the night before. When Ethan realized I was there, he slowed to a stop. He toweled off as he crossed the room.

“Good morning,” he greeted me with a kiss on my forehead. “Did you sleep well?” He stayed a safe distance away from me, careful not to cover me in his sweat.

“I slept great. I was a little surprised to wake up alone. What time do you start working out?”

“I usually sleep a little later, but I wanted to have a few hours to spend with you before I have to go to practice. I scheduled a couples’ massage at nine, and then we’re meeting with my decorator.”

Hold on… couples’ massage? Decorator?

“That sounds great,” I replied slowly.

Ethan could tell my enthusiasm was forced. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart?

“Nothing’s wrong.” I looked around the room, searching for words. “It’s just… well, isn’t it a little early for us to be getting couples’ massages and meeting with decorators? You have a lot of eyes on you right now.”

“You didn’t know who I was,” he reminded me with a grin. “It’s one of the reasons I found you so irresistible.”

I rolled my eyes. He was never going to let me live that down. “Yes, I was pretty much the last person in Portland to know who you are. But you’ve gotten a lot of press just this week. Don’t get me wrong, the massage sounds fantastic and I’d love to tag along to your decorator. I’m just afraid we’ll end up with our pictures in the paper and people will get the wrong idea.”

Ethan shoulder’s tensed and he moved his hands to his hips. “Maybe I’m the one who has the wrong idea. You don’t want anyone to know you’re my girlfriend?”

I stared at him, my mouth refusing to work for a moment. “I… I didn’t know I was your girlfriend.” He plopped down onto a weight bench and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry, Ethan. For the past year, I was someone else’s girlfriend.”

“So last night meant nothing to you?” The words came out very much like a pout.

“Of course it meant something to me.” I felt the panic coming out in my voice. This wasn’t coming out right at all. “But this is all happening so fast. I need time to process it. We need to slow down and—”

“If I remember correctly, you’re the one who crawled into my bed last night,” he interrupted.

I crossed the room and sank down to my knees in front of him, forcing him to look at me. “I know I did. Last night was one of the most incredible nights of my life. I just need a little time to figure out what this means.”

Ethan slid off of the bench and pushed past me on his way to the door. I struggled to my feet and followed him to the dated living room. He paced the shag carpet and I could tell he was considering his words carefully.

“Look, Emily,” he finally announced. “I know that our timing could be better. But I also know how I feel. I want you. You’ve invaded my thoughts since that first night we met at the diner. I’m not an ‘ease into the shallow end’ type of man. I’m a ‘dive in, head first, all or nothing’ type of man. I’ve followed my instincts my entire life and they haven’t failed me yet. And my instincts tell me you’re the one for me. I want to take you out, spoil you, and shout from the rooftops that you’re my girl. If and when you’re ready for that, you know how to find me.”

He opened the front door and gestured for me to leave as if I’d even think about climbing behind the wheel of my car in nothing but his bathrobe. I put my hands on my hips and remained rooted in place, infuriated by his audacity.

“I’ll leave,” I assured him. “But not until I’ve had my say. Last night meant everything to me. And I feel the exact same way as you. Whatever this connection is between us, it’s strong. I understand that you’re not a patient guy and you’re probably used to getting your way. And if what I’ve read online is true, you’ve been too focused on football to ever have a real relationship.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up my hand, giving him my best kindergarten ‘don’t you dare’ stare. It closed immediately and I went on. “I get that you may not understand how this works. But you don’t get to dictate how I feel and when I feel it. You have to let me get comfortable on my own. If and when you’re ready to do that, you know how to find me. You may as well shut that door and get back to your workout. I’ll see myself out after I change.”

I turned and stormed off to the bedroom without waiting for his reply. I hoped he’d be waiting to apologize when I returned to the living room. But all that greeted me was the still open door.

“I
still can’t believe you stormed out of his house and left him stranded,” Melissa said with an amused snort. “Serves the bastard right. I love football, but the players are all the same. And quarterbacks are the worst. They can be cocky motherfuckers, always thinking they should call the shots.”

“Ethan wasn’t particularly cocky… just demanding,” I corrected her. I dunked a tortilla chip into a bowl of salsa and bit it in half.

It was Saturday afternoon and Melissa and I were eating at our favorite hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. We’d arrived just as the lunch rush had cleared out, leaving us as the only customers. I was grateful for the chance to vent to Melissa without being overheard.

“Speaking of cocky, how’s it been at school with Ben?” she asked, dropping her voice.

“I haven’t seen him. He’s sending his aides to my room to pick up the kids for PE. I was going to pack up his things and leave them outside the door. But I took one look at it and tossed it into the dumpster in my alley.”

“Did it make you feel better?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” I replied and dropped my face into my hands. “So much has happened these last few days, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to feel.”

“Whatever you’re feeling
is
what you’re supposed to feel, Emily. There are no right answers here. But I understand being filled with so many emotions they seem impossible to sort. Do you need to talk it out?”

Maria Lopez, the owner and chef of Lopez’s Cantina, arrived at our table, both arms covered in long oven mitts.

“Okay, girls, as usual, these plates are hot,” she warned, setting our food in front of us. “Would either of you like a refill?”

“Not yet, thanks though.” My Coke was still three-quarters full.

“I’m good,” Melissa added.

“Alright. I’ll give you girls time to talk. If you need anything, I’ll be behind the register.”

“Thanks, Maria,” I offered.

She nodded and walked back to the front of the restaurant.

“I do want to talk this out,” I told Melissa. “But first, I want to attack this burrito.”

“By all means,” she replied, covering her enchiladas with salsa.

We ate in silence until our plates were clean, then Maria brought us coffee and a plate of sopaipillas and told us to stay as long as we’d like.

“So who’s messing with your head more, Ben or Ethan?” Melissa pressed.

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I think what’s surprised me most about the Ben situation is
my
reaction.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was crushed when I found Ben with Becky… but not initially. The first thing I felt was relief.”

“I think that says it all, Emily,” Melissa murmured.

“Believe me, the anger and hurt followed right behind it. But the relief never left. It hasn’t made any of this much easier. But it’s there. Obviously, you, Linda, and my uncle all saw through Ben better than I did.”

“So maybe listen to us next time,” she teased.

“I will,” I promised and drew an ‘x’ over my heart.

“Which brings us to Ethan…” she continued, trailing off with only a raised eyebrow to finish the question.

I nodded and took a sip of the coffee. “Yes… which brings us to Ethan. I can’t explain it, Mel. I feel the strongest connection to him. It’s like there’s some sort of magnet inside my chest, pulling me toward him. When I crawled into his bed that night, I’d convinced myself I was ready for whatever came after. I just wasn’t expecting him to want to make things so public and official so soon. I panicked a little.”

“You did exactly what you were supposed to do,” she corrected me. “You told Ethan how you feel and what you need. He did the same, albeit he was more of an ass about it. One of you will have to compromise. And it can’t be you. It’ll set a precedent for your entire relationship and you’ll never win another battle again.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. “Aren’t we a little old to play games?”

“Life is a game, Emily. I know being manipulative isn’t in your nature. And refusing to be the first to break isn’t always the most mature way to behave. But neither is insisting on all or nothing and attempting to throw a mostly naked woman out of your house. Trust me. I’ve been around men like Ethan my entire life. I understand how they think. And I also know you. If you let Ethan pressure you into something you’re not ready for, the relationship won’t last. You’re doing what’s in the best long-term interest for both of you. Ethan’s only thinking of what he wants at the moment.”

“So I need to stay strong.”

She nodded. “You did the absolute right thing.”

“Ethan’s stubborn. What if he refuses to give too?”

“Then it isn’t meant to be,” she replied with a sad smile. “I know that’s not what you want to hear. But it’s an outcome I think you should be ready for.”

“Are you still planning to go to the game on Monday?”

She nodded. “I have to. My boss is thrilled that I landed an exclusive with Portland’s new golden boy. But I promise not to enjoy one second of it.”

“Is it wrong that I still sort of want to go?”

“Not at all. But you’re not going. Watch the game at home, if you want. But the last thing you should do is show up at the stadium. That’s advice you should follow even if you and Ethan work things out… especially if you work things out.”

I didn’t follow. “Why is that?”

She rolled her eyes. “I will never understand how you spent a year with Ben without soaking up even a little Sports Center. Football girlfriends and wives are given way more credit than they deserve for their men’s performances. If you start going to games and Ethan does well, they’ll call you a good luck charm. But the moment he blows a game with you in the stands, they’ll call you a curse and you’ll become the most hated woman in the city.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I replied with a snort.

“I agree. But that doesn’t make it any less true.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, if we work things out. Can I ask one more question?”

“Ask whatever you’d like,” she insisted.

“If, by some chance, Ethan does come around, do you think I’d be a terrible person for jumping into a new relationship so soon after leaving an old one?”

Melissa shook her head. “Keep in mind that my opinion is skewed. I love you and I want to see you happy. I also work at a news station and I’m bombarded every day with reminders that life is short. If you decide Ethan is who you want, then screw everyone else’s opinion. Ben is an asshole. I say you should celebrate being rid of him, not mourn it.”