Torn Souls (6 page)

Mom wasn’t up when I came downstairs, but Dad was. He was sipping his morning coffee as usual and reading the paper. I wasn’t ready to hear him rant about some article he found in the newspaper. I just wanted to grab a banana and head back to my room.

“Hey, kid, want me to make you something?” Dad asked like he knew his way around the kitchen.

“Cook me, breakfast? ”

I looked around and then back at him. I wasn’t sure how to reply to what he was asking. Never has he cooked anything. Was I supposed to take a chance and let him? Then again it was strange that Mom wasn’t already in here cooking.

“Sure, I guess, but where’s Mom?” I asked with curiosity seeing it was way past eight in the morning. There was no way she was still sleeping. She must have run out to the store for something.

“She’s still in bed sleeping,” Dad answered with a weird look upon his face.

“Sleeping? What’s wrong with her? Yesterday, she had me up before the rooster was even up. Oh, no, it’s my turn to get her moving,” I said walking toward her room, but Dad grabbed me before I made it very far.

“Julia, let her sleep,” he whispered while we stood next to the closed door to their bedroom.

I wasn’t sure why he was letting her sleep in. Slowly walking back into the kitchen I asked, “Is Mom sick or something?”

“No, not exactly, sick. It’s just; well you know how your mom hardly ever drinks unless a holiday comes around, right?” Before he could say anything else, I began to laugh my butt off. Quickly, Dad put his hand over my mouth and said, “Shhh, Julia.”

“So what you are saying is that Mom has a hang over?” I asked.

“Yes, she does and when she gets up you better not tease her,” Dad said with a serious look on his face.

“Okay, I won’t. So what can you cook for breakfast?”

“Hmm, that’s a good question. How about you and I go into town and eat at Flap Jack Joe’s?” Dad asked with a smile as if to say,
“Please don’t make me cook because I can’t.”

“Sounds like a plan. Let me just get changed and I’ll be down in a minute.”

After enjoying a nice morning out with Dad, we headed back to the house. Mom was awake and dressed up like she was heading to the office. I was sure Mom said she had the weekend off, but then again her job is demanding. I was sure Dad was going to be a little upset, so I quickly made my way to my room to get out from the line of fire. I didn’t hear any bickering back and forth. Instead I heard my mom say she’d be back in a few hours and then the door closed. Knowing it was safe to go back down stairs, I went looking for my dad to see what he was up too.

I headed straight for his bedroom where I saw him tossing some stuff into a box marked junk. He did seem a little peeved. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my mom leaving or if it was because my mom marked a box that read “junk” telling him to get rid of some of his stuff. I love my mom, but sometimes she could be overbearing.

“Hey, Dad, I’ll help if you want. My room is basically done,” I said while patting his back for support. I knew he was trying not to show how upset he was. My parents hardly fought or if they did, they never did it in front of me.

“You don’t have to, Julia. Wouldn’t you rather go outside?” He asked sounded like he really wanted to be alone.

“Go outside? What am I supposed to do outside?”

“Take a walk or pick flowers,” he suggested even though he knew what he’d just said sounded silly.

“Sure, that’s what I’ll do. Run through the field and pick flowers, really, Dad?” I said in a playful but sarcastic tone.

“You’re right. Just hang with me. It’s probably better that you help anyways. Knowing me I’ll mess up packing and your mom will have my head on a platter,” Dad said with a smile on his face which made me feel better.

Chapter Six

Mom came home three hours later while Dad and I were just finishing up filling the last box in the room. I was surprised when I didn’t see any bags in her hand. I was expecting dinner. Maybe she’d have Dad run out to get something. After Mom changed into more comfortable clothes, she headed in the kitchen and pulled out a frying pan from the cabinet.

“Oh, I see you’re going to cook tonight,” I said with a surprised tone.

“Yes, I figured this way we won’t all get too comfortable eating out all the time.”

“What are we having?”

“I’m going to make something simple. I was thinking some grilled cheese. Does that sound good?” She asked as if I was going to say no.

“Sure, that’s fine.”

“Julia, where’s your dad?” Mom asked as if she didn’t know he’d still be in the room packing.

“He’s just finishing up in the bedroom. I’ll go get him.”

I was so happy to be almost done with packing up the house, but I was dreading the next part. Once we arrived at our new place we’d have to unpack everything. I was sure hoping Mom wasn’t going to make me start school on that Monday. After dinner, Mom and Dad spent time together watching an old Clint Eastwood movie while I went right to sleep.

When I woke the next morning to get dressed for school Dad came in my room to let me know that I could stay home only if I agreed to finish packing around the house. Of course, I agreed. I didn’t even see the point of going to school for the rest of the week knowing Friday would be my last day there. Now that I was somewhat awake and had no intentions of trying to go back to sleep, I headed downstairs.

I found Mom in the living room. She was already chatting on the phone and by the tone in her voice I could tell who she was talking to. “No! I think the price I’m asking for is fair. This is non-negotiable, Nancy,” she said as she paced back and forth. I wasn’t about to stick around and find out how that conversation was going to end, so I grabbed a muffin from the kitchen and headed back to my room.

Sitting up in my bed, I messed around with my phone for a while. I downloaded a couple of free books on Amazon for my Kindle App, played Angry Birds, but then found myself becoming bored. I had no one to text or call. I was hoping I’d at least make a friend at my new school, so this way I could actually use my phone for what it really was intended for, to talk or text. It was just about twelve in the afternoon when I realized I hadn’t packed anything. If I didn’t get moving, I’d sure to be in trouble, so for the rest of the afternoon, I found whatever needed to be pack and threw it into boxes. I gave up when it was time for dinner. After I ate, I decided to go for a walk through Mr. Andrews’s field just to get some fresh air.

On my way back home, I noticed that Mr. Andrews’s porch light was on and he was sitting in his old wooden rocker, so I decided to pay him a visit. He had always been nice to me growing up. Thinking back, I remember watching him and his daughter from my porch ride horses together in the field. Sometimes I could hear their laughter in the distance which always made me giggle. Sadly, five years ago, his daughter died. I never really sat down and asked him what happened, but it was in the local paper, and I did however read the article. It stated that she was thrown from her horse while riding and broke her neck.

As I walked toward the porch, I waved while saying, “Hello, Mr. Andrews, it’s Julia. ”

I knew he didn’t get much company and by the look on his face he was happy someone had come to visit him. He lived alone. Apparently, after the loss of his daughter, he fell into a deep depression I heard and no longer works. Most of the time, I see him taking care of his farm and sitting on his porch just rocking back and forth.

“Oh, this is a pleasant surprise. I haven’t seen you in a long time, Julia,” he said sounding like I had just brightened up his day.

“Yes, it has been a while, Mr. Andrews. I was taking a walk when I noticed you sitting out here by yourself,” I said, then realizing what an idiot I was. It was bad enough he knew he was alone, but for me to remind him was like kicking a man when he’s down.

“Can you stay for a while or do you have to hurry back home?” he asked with a spark of hope in his voice.

“Yes, I can stay for a while. I don’t have to be home anytime soon,” I replied while smiling.

For over an hour we chatted about all kinds of things. I told him that I’d be moving to New York in a week and I was scared. He reminded me that no matter what I did or where I went in life it’s always scary at first, but taking a risk on something new is an adventure. It sounded good when he said it, but it didn’t change the fact that I was still scared. As the sun started to set, I knew I should be heading home, so I politely thanked Mr. Andrews for all the advice, and told him I’d send him a postcard.

While I was getting up to leave, he stood up and placed his hand on my shoulder and said, “Well, Julia, it’s been a pleasure. Remember the only way to conquer fear is to look it straight in the eye. You’re going to do just fine, Julia. Don’t ever live with the two words '
if only'
in your life,
because if you do then you will also have to live with the word, '
regret'.
”

“Honestly, I do feel that
if only
I had come to visit you more often I wouldn’t be as sad as I am right now. I’ve truly enjoyed myself and
regret
not taking the time to come see you more and now I’ll be leaving,” I said to him with tears forming in my eyes. It sucked. All this time I thought I had no one, but I did, and he was right across the road.

While reaching out, he wiped the tears that fell from my eyes and said, “My child, you have a good heart. It’s alright. I’ll see you again. You can come back and visit me anytime you want.”

He was right. I’d make sure to come back and visit him. When I arrived back home, Dad was sitting in the living room watching CNN and eating ice cream out of the carton. I was shocked because I knew Mom hated when he did that.

“Hey, Dad, what’s up?” I asked while waiting for Mom to come around the corner any minute with a bowl in her hand saying,
“Honey, please use a bowl, you’re not an animal.”

“No much, kid, just watching a little news. Where did you run off too?” He asked even though he seemed more involved with his ice cream.

“I went for a walk through Mr. Andrews’s field just to get out of the house and on my way back I stopped to talk with him.”

Lifting his head he turned to me and said, “Oh that was nice of you, Julia. You know, ever since he lost his daughter he’s been really lonely. He must have been happy to have company.”

“Yes, he was. I mentioned to him that we were leaving for New York and that I’m going to miss living here. Do you think maybe sometime next year we can come back here and visit him?” I asked hoping Dad would say yes, but then I realized he wasn’t even really paying much attention to me. It seemed like nowadays my parents were so caught up in their jobs and moving to even listen to anything I said. I was going to ask where Mom was, but I was so disgusted that I just went to bed.

The next morning rolled around and I got ready for school. Usually, I could care less to even go, but I was actually happy to have a break from the craziness in my house. None of my teachers bothered to give me homework knowing Friday would be my last day. A couple of kids in my class asked where I was moving to and after telling them New York, they seemed like they were a little jealous. They were even asking if I could send them some pictures on their phones. One girl who had never even spoken a word to me and who was the head cheerleader gave me her phone number and said, “Oh, you’re so lucky. Wish my parents were that cool to move us to NY. Here’s my cell number. Send me some pics, k?”

What was going on?
I thought
.
Now people want to talk to me? Now, I have phone numbers to actually store in my phone? It didn’t really matter though. I wasn’t going to send pictures to any of them. I was moving and would never see them again. I knew deep down they still could care less about me, they just wanted to see New York. I was sure none of them even knew my first name never mind my last.