Total Control (26 page)

“Okay, no problem there,” I told him. I asked him what he thought of various things I’d consider
ed doing for Gia and he gave me some feedback on them. He was really helpful, and I had a feeling I’d be calling him a lot while Gia was away.

“Yes, please, call me anytime you want to talk. I know it’s got to be tough for you right now
, too,” he said. “I’m gonna try to get in to see her this Saturday or Sunday.” My heart leaped.

“She can have visitors?” I’d be on a plane so fast.

“Well, she’s not supposed to have any contact for ten days, but I’ve been doing some intern work over on the male side of the facility, and I’m hoping I can negotiate my way into an early visitation. But yes, there is family and visitation time on Saturdays and Sundays.”

“I’ll be there next weekend
, then. I have to see her.” I was excited about this news.

“Cool, you can stay with me
; don’t waste your money on a room.”

“Thanks
, Sean. Will you let me know how your visitation goes? Will you tell her I love her if you get to see her?”

“Sure. I’ll talk to you soon, Ethan. Take care.”

Wow. What a nice kid.
I felt better. Sean gave me a lot to work on and to think about. I felt closer to Gia. I hoped Sean would be able to get in to see her that weekend. I opened my email and stared at the picture of her in the Victoria’s Secret dressing room. She was so sexy when she’d called that day, getting me to ask her what she was wearing. She was always full of surprises, I never knew what she’d do or say next. I was grinning from ear to ear.

I planned to go to th
e city the next day to get some shopping done. My new Entertainment Manager was coming on Wednesday, so I’d need to be around for him. Thursday would be another free day, and Friday thru Sunday were concert days, so I’d stay fairly busy. I’d need to get my airline ticket booked for next weekend, and make sure Trey would be willing to handle everything at The Lock while I was gone.

***

I kept busy all week, but I thought about Gia constantly. I was missing her like crazy. The concerts went good Friday night, as I expected; the rest of the weekend, too. I was anxious to hear from Sean. I prayed that he’d be able to see Gia. I was sure she’d love the visit. I drove up to Sunset before I went to the morning meeting. I’d been up there every day that week.

Chapter 17

Gia

Sleeping in on Saturday was nice. Actually, I woke up at six, my internal alarm was used to it already, but I stayed in bed until seven. I kept my eyes closed. I purposely thought of Ethan, hoping I’d fall back to sleep and dream about him
; no such luck. I got up and headed to the gym. I’d gotten used to working out during the week, and although we weren’t required to on the weekend, I wanted to.

It had become a ritual to fantasize about Ethan as I worked out. M
aybe that was why I enjoyed it so much. When I stretched, I pretended he was watching me from behind, waiting for me to ask him to join me. When I jogged on the treadmill, I pretended he was in front of me, and I was trying to catch up to him, which I always did in the last mile. My favorite part I saved until last. While I did weight training, I fantasized about making love to him, or fucking him, depending on my mood and what I was listening to on my iPod. I’d think about things we’d done, or things I wanted to do with him, or to him. It was a great way to make a workout interesting.

I headed to the shower
, where I fulfilled my fantasy with Ethan. Well, with the shower head, actually, but I was turned on and desperate for a release. He was a part of my day, every day, and I didn’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have that.

Breakfast was at nine-thirty. I was famished and ate my entire omelet and all of my fruit. Then I headed for my second favorite part of the day, meditation. Part of my relaxation ritual also included Ethan. He had become a part of my therapy and didn’t even know it.

At ten-forty I was back in my room, ready for a nap. There were family counseling sessions going on, but I didn’t have any family here, so it was free time for me. We were heading to the beach later as a group outing. I was excited for that. I put my ear buds in and pulled up the playlist Ethan had made for me. As soon as the song started, I was back on the desk in his office.

Poison –
Every Rose Has its Thorn.
“I sat on the back steps, after I’d left you on my desk, and listened to this. It had always been one of my favorite songs, but at that moment it felt like I was hearing it for the first time. It took everything I had not to run back to you. I knew that you had things you needed to work out within yourself before you could let me in. I had to let you go and hope that you would come back to me. We all have thorns, Gia, you don’t want me to see yours, but you don’t understand—when I look at you, all I see is the rose.”

Tears ran down my cheeks. He was the sweetest man I’d ever known. I started the song again, from the beginning, and closed my eyes.
My heart was pounding hard as I turned the volume up. I could feel it in my chest and my breathing quickened as I let my thoughts run wild with Ethan. I could feel his lips on my neck. They were soft and moist as he planted kisses all the way up to my hairline. I shivered as his breath hit my ear. When the song hit the climax, goose bumps covered my body and my nipples grew hard. I swallowed and slowly opened my eyes as the last notes came through my ears.

I knew I should’ve brought my vibrator! I considered taking another shower, but it wasn’t exactly what I was craving. I needed Ethan. I needed to feel him ease into me and fill me up
. I was sure I could orgasm in record time, probably two or three thrusts and I’d be there. I was frustrated sexually, I needed release. Ethan had turned me into a nympho, I just knew it. I grabbed a paper and pen. I decided I’d feel better if I wrote to him.

Dear Ethan,

I’m missing you terribly. The playlist you made for me makes me remember all the times I had you right where I needed you
…

I jumped off the bed.
Who am I kidding? There’s only one way to stop this.
I locked myself in my little bathroom and pulled my shorts and panties off. I closed my eyes and Ethan was there in an instant. He had his hands on me and I was ready for him. He massaged my clitty and eased a finger into my wetness. I could see his gorgeous face, his eyes were full of desire for me. He whispered for me to come, and I did.
Aahhh, relief.

I felt so much better. I washed my hands and got dressed. I’d never worked myself up into such a tizzy before. Ethan had that effect on me. I never knew how mind blowing sex could be before Ethan. I wondered if it was as good for him as it was for me. He’d had so much more experience than I, with so many more partners.
Was I good in bed?
The thought made me panic for a second. I wanted to please him sexually. No, I wanted to blow his fucking mind. I wanted him to have an orgasm so intense that it almost made him pass out, like he’d given me.
Was it even possible?
I wanted to do some research. I was going to be a fucking expert by the time I left that place, literally. I giggled with excitement.

After lunch we headed to the beach. I was in awe. I stood in the sand and watched the waves roll in. I hadn’t even set my stuff down, I literally froze in my tracks and stood, mesmerized. I’d never
swam in the ocean. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath through my nose.

“C’mon
, Gia!” Brynn was running toward the water.

I dropped my things next to theirs, tore off my shorts and tank, and ran after her.
The water was warm and cool at the same time. It felt cleansing and fresh. Brynn and I were like kids as we splashed and played while the others watched from the beach, laughing at us. I waved for them to join us, but they just waved back and stayed on their blankets.

“Why won’t they come in?” I asked Brynn.

“Well, some are afraid of water, some don’t want to get their hair wet, some don’t want to be seen in their swimsuit, they have issues.” She smiled at me, knowing we all had our issues, but ours didn’t involve keeping us out of the water.

I noticed a volleyball game going on n
ear our spot. I loved playing volleyball and wondered if I could get into the game. I may never have the opportunity to play on a real beach again. Brynn noticed my interest.

“Do you want to play?”
she asked.

“Yes! Do you?”

She smiled and we ran to our spot and dried off with our towels. We walked over and sat in the sand, watching. There were four guys on each side, no girls. They were having a blast and we decided it was probably best to stay spectators. They finished their game and were switching sides when one of them called out to us.

“Wanna play?”

“We wouldn’t wanna bust up this testosterone party.” I laughed.

“Don’t be silly. Besides, a little estrogen always makes a
party better,” he hollered and they all waved us in.

We ran in. I joined the side with the guy who hollered at us. “I’m Gia,” I said as I landed right in the middle. “I’m very competitive and I cuss a lot during sports, just a warning
.”

They all high-fived me and introduced themselves. We began to play and I could tell they were being careful around Brynn and
me.

“Hey, time out
, guys,” I said. “Brynn and I came to play. We’re not cheerleaders, and we’re not worried about sweating or breaking a nail.”

“Well, okay then
,” one of them said, and then it was on like
Donkey Kong
. Brynn and I played hard and we played well. It was a blast. My tit only popped out of my bikini once, which I thought was pretty good, since it wasn’t one you’d pick to be active in. The other team missed the ball and blamed it on me, but I told them all was fair in love and war. My team tried to get me to flash them when we returned their game point serve, but I didn’t, of course. After the second game, we took a break. They offered us a beer, but that was strictly off-limits for us, so we stuck with bottles of water.

Most of us went for a swim and they
were a riot in the water. I thought I was competitive! Those guys talked Brynn and me into standing on their shoulders and seeing which one could launch us the furthest into the ocean. We were having so much fun, we hadn’t noticed the girls packing up our stuff. We had to go.

***

Brynn and I were so exhausted at dinner that night we could barely eat. The other girls said they’d really enjoyed watching us. I couldn’t wait to go back, and I made a couple of the other girls promise they’d get in the water with us.

I started to do some reading that night, but
my eyes wouldn’t stay open long enough to read an entire sentence at once, so I stopped fighting it and turned out the light.

I actually slept in on Sunday. I had just enough time to shower and get to breakfast on time. Meditation was fabulous, and as I headed back to my room afterwards, I tried not to be jealous of the family visiting that was about to go on.
I’d give anything to have a personal visit today.
I was feeling a little lonely. I tried to focus on Wednesday, when I’d get my cell phone back and internet on my laptop. I’d be connected to the outside world again! I yearned to hear Ethan’s voice. It didn’t matter what he was saying, I just needed to hear his voice.

Just as I settled onto my bed and was about to listen to some music, there was a knock on my door. I jumped up and opened it. It was Laura.

“Gia, I’ve bent the rules slightly and have allowed a visitor for you today.” I gasped. My heart raced and I felt lightheaded for a second. “Come,” she said.

My mind was racing. I was so thankful for Laura and her bending the rules! I followed her to the family visiting area, it felt like Christmas morning. She pointed to the east corner and there, waiting for me, was Sean!
He saw me, and we met in the middle of the room with arms wide open. He picked me up and spun me around.

“Oh my god, Sean. I’m so happy to see you!” I had tears in my eyes.

“You better be. It took more begging and bribing than I care to admit to get in here. If you see Laura with a huge smile on her face tomorrow, you’ll know my debt has been paid.”

I laughed. “Is that all it took? Shit, I hope she doesn’t keep me in here an extra week for insufficient fun.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” He turned serious. “You look gorgeous, Gia. I’m relieved.”

“
Aww, thanks. Were you worried about me?”

“Yes. Everyone responds differently. I should’ve known you’d be a tough one.” He took my hand and led me outside. I felt loved as I leaned against his arm. He raised it around my shoulders and hugged me
close.