Touch Me There (24 page)

Involving the nipples in sex play is one way a person can have an entire-body orgasm. With one hand stimulating her clitoris or his penis and the other moving over the nipple, an individual can be brought to cli- max. The two different body parts, nipple and genitals, must be caressed with the same intensity, rhythm, and movements; for example, circular, up-down, or left-right. If you want sexual sensations to linger and to take your time working through the response cycle, back off from double stimu- lation. Take turns giving each spot a break, allowing your lover to feel the quivers of each locale’s varying sensations. Stimulating your partner’s ears and lips will expand the sensations even more.

Breast Myths and Misconceptions

Myth: Men aren’t into nipple stimulation.

Many men have very sensitive nipples. Regardless of how sensitive they are, some men enjoy having them stimulated. Since the breasts are usually regarded as more erogenous in females, many men may be embarrassed to ask their partner to stimulate their nipples or may be shy about such sex play. Reassuring him that you think it’s sexy to play with his nipples will help him to feel more confident about it.

Myth: All women’s nipples are sensitive.

Not all women have sensitive nipples, leaving some to feel less sexual if they don’t have the expected response to breast play. Even when a woman’s nipple muscles contract during arousal, she may not have great sensitivity. Furthermore, since the entire breast is covered with rich nerve endings, she may find another area of the breast more sensitive than the nipple.

Myth: Bigger breasts make for more sensitive breasts.

All breasts, no matter what their size, have the same number of nerve end- ings. In fact, a woman with smaller breasts may experience more sensa- tions during stimulation because her nerve endings are more condensed.

Rules for Breast and Nipple Pleasuring

• Don’t twist. While many of us grew up hearing about the game Tune in Tokyo, in which a female’s breasts are turned like radio knobs, in most cases this doesn’t feel good.
  
• With both genders, start out gently. You need to warm up this sex organ as you would the others. Being too rough too quickly may cause pain and discomfort.
  
• Being vigorous is not always appropriate and can cause pain or numbness, especially for a woman around the time of her period, when her breasts are more tender.
  
• Communicate. There may be specific times when a person desires breast play. Some like it earlier in foreplay and others prefer a rougher sensation right at orgasm. See what works best for your partner.
  

Finger and Oral Action for Breast and Nipple Pleasure

For breast play, start out softly, unless you know that your partner prefers it rough. Beginning with the underside of the breast is an option, espe-

cially since this sensitive area is often ignored. Try kissing and touching the breasts, moving from the outside toward the nipple and lingering on the love points. Allow for some anticipation, using time as a tease before you reach the bull’s-eye.

With your hand or fingers, massage the nipple in slow circles, gradu- ally using firmer and firmer pressure. Wet your fingertips and squeeze the nipple between them. As the nipples harden, bring one to your mouth. Pe- riodically, pull away to stimulate another hot spot, always bringing the focus back to the breasts. Every time you come back, vary the intensity of your tongue’s pressure, perhaps using more pressure and faster and faster swipes. Become animalistic in your wanton desire to be completely en- gulfed in your lover’s breasts.

Experiment with different sensations; some may get your partner off more than others. Try sucking, licking, touching, stroking, kissing, vibrat- ing, slightly twisting, scratching, caressing, tweaking, pinching, clamping, tickling, teasing, nibbling, lightly biting…. Everybody is different, so make sure to check in with your lover to find out what feels good, what doesn’t, if more pressure is needed, and if they want something else done.

Adjusting the temperature can stimulate the way any hot spot reacts to stimulation, but this is especially true of the nipples. Periodically, pull away and just graze the area with your hair or your lips, letting your hot breath linger on one nipple, then on the other. Blow on the nipple, mak- ing your breath either hot or cool. Drip warm wax (which you’ve tested beforehand) on the nipples. The heat and the hardening of the wax will have a double-whammy effect. On a hot day, lightly rub ice cubes on the chest to produce an instant nipple erection. The result: The nipples will tingle, harden, and send shivers throughout the whole body.

�
TIPS
�

Build anticipation.

Just like you would with below-the-belt hot spots, tease this area with light touches and intermittent attention, touching and caressing the areas around it, such as the collarbone, stomach, and armpits.

Lube it up.

Use lube at times, experimenting with different sensation-producing flavors; for example, cinnamon. This is especially superb for those times when your partner wants to squeeze the breasts together around your penis, turning them into a sexy toy for “titty fucking.”

Play a numbers game.

Try practicing different tongue moves; for example, repeating the same number of strokes, tracing your path backward each time. Use the tip of the tongue to make little circles around the areola. Use the flat of the tongue to cover more surface area.

Make it the other kind of hand job.

Use different parts of your hand to stimulate the breast, from your fingertips to the palm. Even try the back of your hand to create a feeling of smoothness.

Nurse the breasts.

Create a slight suction with your mouth, building up this sensation if desired. The suction brings extra blood to the surface of the skin, making the nipple even more sensitive.

Try not always revealing the entire breast.

Your partner may want to leave their shirt or bra on during sex, so pull and knead the breasts under the garment or ask if your lover prefers the sensation of fabric against nipples. Any top or brassiere with a peekaboo effect is going to be ex- tremely enticing for both partners.

Pay attention to the whole breast.

Don’t ignore a person’s breasts in favor of the nipples. The entire breast is respon- sive. Caress, knead, and gently squeeze the whole breast, perhaps massaging one breast as you give the other oral action.

Heart

The heart, home to the heart chakra in tantric practice, is strongly con- nected to your sexual center. In sexual reflexology, it is associated with the fire element. This energetic center of passion and affection is one hot spot. Opening the heart chakra is said to result in warmth, openness, relating well with others sexually, and the reciprocation of physical touch. If lovers are holding negative energy in this area, they need to unblock it to avoid

negative emotions. Expressing what is in the heart frees this negative en- ergy, turning it into something positive.

In acupressure, the heart point is known as the Sea of Tranquility. It is an emotional balancing point that opens and calms the heart’s spirit. It lies in the center of the breastbone, four finger-widths up from the base of the bone (see Figure 8.1 on page 104). Stimulating it will help to relax a partner who is anxious, nervous, or tense, as well as increasing their inner joy and emotional intensity. You can do this by feeling for a dimple in the breastbone and then gently pressing into this point with your fingers for a couple of minutes, all while breathing in unison with your lover. You can also kiss and suck on this area as your lover arches their back for better stimulation, or you can give each other a full-body hug. Gazing into each other’s eyes during the stimulation of this acupressure point will further intensify the experience, causing couples to feel even closer.

�
EXERCISE 8.1:
Holding Your Lover’s Heart

1. Place your right hand over your beloved’s heart and have them do the same to you.
   
2. Place your left hand over your lover’s right hand, pressing it into your heart. Have your lover do the same. The upper hand will trans- mit energy between the two of you.
   
3. Imagine that each of you is sending love energy from your own heart, down your right arm, and out of your hand into the other’s heart.
   
4. Make sure to breathe deeply, move slowly, and allow yourself to feel the energy that’s being passed.
   
5. Close your eyes and breathe together.
   
6. Complete this exercise with a big, long hug, placing one hand on your partner’s breastbone and the other directly behind on the upper back.
   

Two variations: Each partner can place their right hand on the other’s genitals (with one’s own left hand over the partner’s right hand) or in the middle of the other’s back, behind the heart (with one’s own left hand placed over one’s own heart).

�
EXERCISE 8.2:
Stimulating Your Lover’s Heart

1. Stand facing your partner, reaching your hands around their back and lightly rubbing the area between their shoulder blades to warm and stimulate it.
   
2. As you continue to massage, gradually move closer until your chests are pressed against one another’s.
   
3. Slowly give a deeper massage while holding each other.
   

Result of either exercise: Energy will pass through your lover’s heart.

Yoga Pose for Chest Stimulation

�
POSE 8.1:
Sex Nerve Stretch

One partner’s position:
Sit in your lover’s lap in Cobbler’s Pose (Bad- dha Konasana), where the soles of your feet are together, spine straight, knees resting on your partner’s, while holding onto your partner’s big toes. As you lean back, you can feel each other’s heartbeats.

YOGA POSE 8.1: Sex nerve stretch