Touch Me There (22 page)

For additional stimulation, use the palm of your hand to roll his penis against his belly from side to side, gradually increasing your speed. Acti- vating his Sea of Intimacy points (see Figure 5.3 on page 80) at the same time you press on the Inner Meeting point (the P-spot; see Figure 6.1 on page 85) is another option. Encourage him to move his pelvis into your hands as you hold these points for a couple of minutes.

A Workout Like No Other: Strengthening the PC Muscle

The perineum is intimately involved in better sex, especially in the toning of the
pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle),
a term used for the group of pelvic-floor muscles that are attached to the pelvic bone and that serve to hold in the pelvic organs. Referred to as the “chi muscle” in sexual reflex- ology, the PC muscle runs from the pubic bone to the tailbone, encircling

the base of the penis and the rectum, naturally contracting when a man climaxes. This muscle group is such a big deal because the
pudendal nerve
runs through it and triggers most of the muscular reactions during arousal and stimulation, sending and receiving signals to and from the brain.

As described in Chia and Abrams’
The Multi-Orgasmic Man,
Eastern approaches to sex are adamant about the need to increase one’s PC-mus- cle strength for better sex and overall health. Strengthening the PC mus- cle can help a man become multiorgasmic, have better erections, delay and control orgasms, have a shorter refractory period, be more energetic, increase orgasmic intensity, and keep the prostate healthy. When a man is able to regulate his climactic contractions, making them slower, he is able to expand his orgasm and pump sexual energy throughout the path of his chakras.

To find your PC muscle, feel just behind your testicles and in front of your anus. One way to identify the muscle is to stop your urine flow in midstream by contracting your pelvic-floor muscles. You may experience a slight stinging sensation when you do this. Another way to find this muscle is by pushing down with your pelvic area as though you were hav- ing a bowel movement. By repeating either action a few times, you will be- come familiar with the feel of contracting the correct group of muscles. Note: Do not contract your abdominal, thigh, or buttocks muscles while performing the following exercises.

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EXERCISE 6.3:
Pump This

To strengthen your PC muscle, perform the following routine:

1. Slowly hold and release your PC muscle ten to thirty times at the same rate at which you breathe (contract the muscle as you inhale and release as you exhale). Repeat twice a day or three times in one set, with thirty-second breaks between sets, focusing on your pros- tate, perineum, and anus. Make sure that you’re breathing deeply and fully with each squeeze.
   
2. As you gain strength, gradually increase the number of repetitions to seventy-five, twice a day. Up to three hundred reps per day is recom- mended for those who have developed great control over this muscle.
   

As you become more advanced in your practice, you can hold the con- traction for a count of three instead of releasing it immediately. Relax and repeat as many times as you are able, working up to about fifty of these longer contractions. Another version involves inhaling and doing ten mini- contractions before exhaling and relaxing. This can be repeated as many times as you are able to, and you can work your way up to doing fifty sets per day.

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7
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His Don’t-Forget-to- Detonate Spot

T

he
testicles
, also known as the
testes,
or
gonads,
are a pair of oval glands that produce sperm and sex hormones, primarily testoster- one. These gems are housed in and protected by the
scrotum,
the dark, thin-skinned pouch based below the root of the penis that contains nu- merous fatty glands and is covered with hair (See Figure 5.1 on page 64). Testicles vary in size and shape from man to man, with the left testi-

cle usually hanging lower than the right one and with one usually being larger than the other. Some are big and loose in appearance, while others are small and tight. To regulate temperature for prime sperm manufactur- ing, the scrotum contracts muscles that bring the testes closer to the body when cold or relaxes muscles to lower the testes away from the body when too warm. During sexual excitement the testes become engorged with blood, growing up to 50 percent larger than they are in an unaroused state.

Testicular Myths and Misconceptions

Myth: The scrotal sac isn’t very sensitive—men don’t get a lot of pleasure from its stimulation.

95

The scrotal sac is very sensitive in that it’s full of nerve endings. Some men love to have it stimulated and others do not. Furthermore, the
R-spot
of the scrotum, the male’s
raphe,
provides pleasurable sensations if given proper attention. A visible line along the center and underside of the scro- tum, the scrotal raphe can be stimulated by gently running your fingertips along it.

Myth: All men like to have their scrotum stimulated the same way.
Scrotal sensitivity, reactivity, and preferences vary from male to male. What turns one guy on might be a total turn-off to the next. When play- ing with his testicles, be sure to ask what feels good, what kinds of sensa- tions he likes (or doesn’t), and if he wants more or less stimulation. Some- times a man won’t express himself, feeling that he either has to be stoic during sexual pleasuring or must put up with discomfort and pain “like a man.”

Rules for Testicular Play

• Make sure your nails are trimmed and that you don’t have any hang- nails. Testicular tissue is very delicate and sensitive.
  
• Be gentle as you start to toy with the testicles. The scrotum is no punching bag.
  
• Unless a man likes it, avoid pinching, squeezing, biting, or clawing too hard.
  

Hand Action for Testicular Pleasure

Caressing, scratching, pulling, rubbing, and squeezing the scrotal sac will result in
ooh-là-là
sensations for many men, as long as these actions are done with tender, loving care. Some men can handle more stimulation than others. Be sure to check in with a man about his arousal level to see how efforts are paying off, as he may be too far gone in ecstasy to be fully pres- ent and communicative or may be wincing from pain to the point where he’s speechless. It’s important to make sure that you’re not overstimulat- ing this area, which can make things simply uncomfortable and unpleas- ant. There’s one nonverbal, however, that will prove your efforts are a suc-

cess: As a male becomes more and more excited, his scrotum tightens and contracts.

For even more titillating action, consider pleasuring the three sensi- tive and arousing acupressure points that exist inside the upper thigh, the Inner Thigh points, which are located close to the crease that joins the thigh with the trunk of the body (see Figure 7.1). These points are stimu- lated naturally during many intercourse positions; during other types of sex play, try to hold and press them for greater sexual fulfillment. Doing this increases circulation to his reproductive organs, heightening sensitiv- ity in his genitals and breathing even more life into the scrotum.

FIGURE 7.1: The Inner Thigh acupressure points

Other acupressure points that can be held with your fingertips while orally stimulating the testicles are the Rushing Door and Mansion Cot- tage points, located in the center of the leg crease at the top of the thigh (see Figure 5.2 on page 73). Holding them for one minute will result in pulsations between these points and the genitals. Yet another acupressure point to work while titillating the scrotal sac is his perineum.

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EXERCISE 7.1:
Scrotal Focus

1. Straddle your partner, facing his feet, your weight on your knees. He is lying with his knees bent, feet flat on the floor.
   
2. Slowly, lightly, touch the Inner Thigh pressure points for a couple of minutes, working your way up the crease toward his hip.
   
3. Using the other hand, luxuriously massage his testicles.
   
4. Intermittently, press on his perineum.
   

A variation on this exercise involves you lying on his stomach and gently licking and kissing these acupressure points, especially as a prelude to oral sex.

Another activity for the “dragon pearls” that a man can do on his own is known as testicle breathing. As explained in Chia and Wei’s
Sexual Re- flexology,
this exercise, recommended by Taoists, transforms his raw sexual energy into a higher energy, nourishing the spine, nervous system, brain, and other organs.

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EXERCISE 7.2:
Taoist Testicle Breathing

1. Sitting and remaining relaxed, massage your testicles for a few min- utes.
   
2. Slightly contract your left testicle, mentally drawing its energy up through your tailbone, sacrum, and spine, eventually to your brain.
   
3. As you return this energy to your scrotum, place your tongue against the roof of your mouth.
   
4. Repeat using your right testicle.
   

With practice and mindfulness, you’ll eventually feel energy rising up from your testicle.

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TIPS
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Use lube.

The scrotal sac is already a smooth area, but using lube will help things be silky smooth, making the experience all the better.

Tickle time.

Stroke the hair around his scrotum and anus, at first barely touching the skin.

“Hand” him different sensations.

Try wearing different types of gloves to provide a variety of sensations. From time to time, experiment with satin gloves, leather gloves, gloves for body washing, etc.

Curl up.

Having him bring his thighs up toward his chest will allow either partner to feel the testicles more easily and will afford more access to the perineum and anus for stimu- lation of those regions.

Heat things up.

Take his balls into your mouth and simply let him relish the heat and moisture of your tongue. To make him feel weak in the knees, breathe in through your nose and then force the hot air out from your lungs, the same way you would when making the sound “huh.”

Oral Action for Testicular Pleasure

If you want to add oral exploits to the equation, continue to handle the scrotum delicately, being careful not to scrape it with your teeth (covering them with your lips can help). Try humming for added sensation. Apply- ing a drop of lubricant and then lightly wrapping the scrotal sac in plastic wrap will further enhance your vocal vibrations. Also, the increase in tem- perature from the testicles being wrapped will cause his blood vessels to dilate, resulting in more blood flow to the penis and a stronger erection.

Your efforts may be enhanced if he gets on all fours above you, with your hands free to caress other parts of his body, like his buttocks, peri- neum, penis, or treasure trail (the line of hair running from his navel to his pubic area). This position can also double the fun by allowing you to in- corporate “69” sex play, which involves both partners performing oral sex on each other at the same time.

“69”

A great form of foreplay or the main show, 69 allows you to enjoy sexual stimulation while you simultaneously stimulate your partner. Think of it as total-body sex. In experimenting with 69, take turns being on the top and on the bottom. This sexual feat can also be attempted with both part- ners lying side-by-side while facing opposite directions, with each part- ner’s upper leg bent, foot on the floor or bed, in order to better expose the genitals.