Touch Me There (9 page)

“Hero worship” warning.

Although the clitoris can produce amazing results, don’t worship it. Becoming too consumed with only this spot can cost you points in other lovemaking areas. A woman likes to feel sexy all over, worshipped for the sensuality of her total body and not just reduced to a single spot. So make sure you take the time to show off the breadth of your stimulation skills by paying attention to other parts of her body as well.

Ask away.

In learning about your partner’s clitoris, don’t be afraid to ask questions. Hopefully she’ll welcome the opportunity to let you know how her body is responding and what does and doesn’t seem to move heaven and earth for her. So as you stimulate her, go ahead and ask her things like: “Do you want more pressure?” “Is this too in- tense?” “Am I hurting you?” Have her help you out by telling you what feels incred- ible for her at that moment and throughout sex play. Encourage her to show you. Reassure her that she can tell you when it’s too much as well—you won’t be in- sulted. It’s important to stay in tune with each other, since what can be highly satis- fying for her one minute can be excruciating the next. What is too fast early on may be too slow as she approaches orgasm. And what may satiate her on one occasion may get a “thumbs down” the next. The clitoris can be, mmmm, shall we say, a bit temperamental at times.

Oral Action for Clitoral Pleasure

One of the best ways to attend to this goddess spot is to perform cunnilin- gus—oral sex on a woman. There are a number of positions a couple can utilize to provide oodles of orgasm-inducing oral action. The most com-

mon is for a woman to lie on her back, legs spread apart and knees bent, with her partner on their knees, bent over and down. Putting one or two pillows under her buttocks, shoulders, or neck, or holding her legs up to- ward her head can help to make the vulva more easily accessible to you. Such tactics also help to prevent her body from arching as she becomes more aroused, which could change the angle of stimulation, making it less effective and more uncomfortable for the performer. Another position in- volves the partners lying one on top of the other, facing opposite ways, with the active partner’s head curved inward to provide lip-on-lip action, though this can be much more limiting.

Sexual Health Considerations

Several sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be spread during oral sex, primarily herpes, genital warts, chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, and HIV. Oral sex is considered a high-risk sexual behavior for HIV trans- mission, especially if a woman is menstruating. There are several things you can do to protect yourself from infection when going down on her:

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Don’t brush or floss your teeth for at least two hours before performing oral sex on somebody. Such oral-hygiene activities can cause cuts or sores in the mouth, raising the risk of contracting an STI. Use a mild mouthwash if you’re worried about being kissable.

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Consider using a dental dam, e.g., Glyde, Lixx, or Good Vibrations brands. The barrier can be held in place over her vulva with your hands while you go to town. The Dondam is a dental dam that you can stick to your face, allowing you to perform hands-free!

Trying a new position is always good for novelty’s sake and for spicing things up. Here are some other possible positions for cunnilingus:

• The woman can stand while her partner crouches down to plea- sure her.
  
• She can be propped up on pillows with her partner lying flat on their own stomach, arms propped on a pillow as well.
  
• She can lie down, left leg bent, with her partner sticking their head under the back of her left knee to reach the vulva. Coming at the
  

  clitoris from a side angle can also be done with her knees bent, legs pulled up.
  

• The woman can lie on her back as her partner grabs her pelvis or but- tocks and pulls up. A variation of this involves draping her legs over her partner’s shoulders.
  
• She can straddle her lover’s face. Facing her partner’s feet allows her to stimulate her lover’s genitals with her hands or mouth. (Note: This position becomes the famous
  “69”
  or
  “soixante-neuf ”
  when she performs oral sex as well!)
  

As with manual stimulation, you want to hold off on going for the gold right away. Ease into action by kissing and massaging her inner thighs and groin. Kiss and lick her entire genital area, allowing yourself to salivate copiously, before finally moving to the clitoris. As you work your way to her “love button,” pant deeply, allowing your warm breath to rhythmically beat against her vulva. The heat will have a yummy effect, with the sensations and the sound of your aroused-beyond-belief breath- ing turning her on even more. She’ll love knowing that you’re so into her

—and her genitals!

Once you’ve enjoyed all of this, go nuts with the following exercise. Feel free to take it in stages or to do all of it in one session. There’s no rush. With any success, there will surely be encore performances. So make it your number-one goal to please her, and then relish the reactions. You may find that steps 1 and 2 are all it takes for her to climax and be sexually satisfied. Still, be sure to mix things up from time to time by trying out all the steps and tips. Versatility is a must in clitoral play, and a suave lover is able to adapt to a woman’s needs instead of simply sticking with the same move on every occasion, even if it’s tried-and-true.

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EXERCISE 2.4:
Ultimate Lip Service

1. Gently part her vaginal lips and brush your lips and tongue against her clitoris, tenderly starting to lick the area.
   
2. Press your lips firmly around her clitoris and gently suck, allowing her to get used to the warmth and wetness. Use your tongue to ca- ress the clitoris.
   
3. Slowly start to lap at the clit, keeping your tongue soft as you caress it. Moving faster and faster, yet always maintaining a steady rhythm as you intensify the pressure, tighten your tongue as you widen your strokes. Alternate between moving your tongue side to side and up and down.
   
4. For variety, try stiffening your tongue into a point and darting it at the clitoris as if it were a bull’s-eye. Bang the tongue against the clitoris in a thrusting motion as your partner gets more and more excited.
   
5. If you feel like being a tease, every now and then go back to sucking gently on the clitoris before returning to more rapid action.
   
6. Insert a lubed finger or two into the vagina or anus for added stimu- lation.
   
7. To make things even more intense, stimulate other parts of her body with your hands or sex toys as you’re getting her off with your tongue.
   

Every time you perform this exercise, try different tongue strokes; for example, diagonally across the clitoral head, licking at it like a cat care- fully cleaning its paw, or puckering your lips for a suction effect. Adding other sensations to your oral sex feast, depending on the climate in the bedroom, will certainly win you brownie points. On a hot day she may welcome your sucking on a lozenge or an ice cube before going down on her, as it will create a cool, tingly, refreshing sensation. A cold evening may call for warming your tongue with a hot toddy or ginger tea before press- ing it against her clit. If it’s a can’t-get-enough-of-you romp, get noisy and let her know how much you love going down on her. If it’s a more mellow encounter, try humming to provide additional stimulation.

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TIPS FOR ORAL PLAY
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If you have whiskers, shave.

Before stimulating her orally, consider being clean-shaven. Unless you have a soft beard or she likes the coarseness of your facial hair against her genitals and inner thighs, know that stubble can end up irritating the sensitive skin between her legs. She could end up with an uncomfortable “beard burn.”

Kiss it. French kiss it!

According to tantric practice, stimulating the clitoris sends sensations to the upper lip of the mouth. So “make out” with her clit as if you were kissing her mouth.

Get into it!

Get your whole face in there. Bury yourself and breathe her in. Work up a sweat. Gorge on her as though she’s the best meal you’ve ever had. She’ll be absolutely delighted and will feel more sexually confident knowing that you lust after her.

Stimulate her G-spot at the same time.

As you lavish her clitoris with oral admiration, use a free finger to feel around the inside front wall of her vaginal canal for her G-spot, a.k.a. clitoral cluster. (See Chapter 3 for detailed instructions on locating the G-spot.) As soon as you feel the raised, rough, and swollen area of the G-spot, firmly press your finger(s) against it, providing constant pressure in an up-down or circular motion—all the while be- coming even more frenzied with your tongue action.

Pay attention to the details.

The vulva has a couple of parts related to the clitoris that often go unmentioned and are worth taking the time to identify and stimulate. The front commissure is the smooth area right above the clitoral hood and head that contains nerve fibers. An- other sensitive area that could use some lovin’ on occasion is her clitoral frenulum, the area right below her clitoral head where the lower division of the inner lips meet. Applying firm pressure and/or massaging these areas with your fingertips and tongue will work wonders.

Use the inside of your upper lip to provide stimulation.

Turning it upward, rest the inner part of your lip against the clitoris, applying more pressure by using the weight of your head, and shake your head back and forth, as if shaking wet hair (or maybe it is wet with sweat!).

Take a breather.

Coming up for air every now and then will help her to feel even more connected to you and will allow you to stimulate other hot spots, like her navel and nipples. It also allows you to see her radiant face—that is, unless you picked the moment just

before climax to come up for air.…
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Acupressure Points

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EXERCISE 2.5:
Touch Her There