Touch Me There (13 page)

Stroking the
posterior fornix zone (PFZ)
, opposite and up from the AFE zone in the vaginal canal (“posterior” means “back”), may also yield pleasurable results in some women.

Female Ejaculation

Considered just a few years ago to be incompatible with “ladylike” sexual response, the activation of a woman’s waterworks during sex has become a much-sought-after, highly arousing experience for both women and their partners. What used to repulse lovers as apparent urine has been al- chemized into a love potion. This transformation has occurred as educa- tion and inspiration have encouraged lovers to explore whether or not a woman’s body can be trained to emit fluid during sex (if she doesn’t al- ready do so automatically).

Female ejaculation,
a centuries-old phenomenon that happens in

some women as a result of G-spot stimulation, occurs when a scentless, prostatic-like fluid (“ambrosia”) is expelled near or during orgasm. Not to be confused with A-spot lubrication, the release of fluid (mostly through the urethra) that occurs with stimulation of the urethral sponge is likened to an actual ejaculation. It is a perfectly normal bodily response that may

happen every time a woman experiences great sexual arousal and/or sex- ual climax (especially G-spot orgasm), some of the time, or never.

Because of its respected role in female ejaculation, tantric practitioners refer to the G-spot as the Sacred Gate.

Every woman has the potential to ejaculate. Some women and their partners know it happens, others mistake it for urination, while still oth- ers remain completely uninformed about the phenomenon. The amount of fluid ejaculated may range from a few drops to as much as 1½ cups and is determined by various factors, such as a woman’s comfort in ejaculat- ing, where she is in her menstrual cycle, the type and amount of stimula- tion she’s receiving, and the strength of her pelvic-floor muscles. As de- scribed in Deborah Sundahl’s
Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot,
female ejaculate may be salty or light and earthy in smell and taste, or have a faint smell and taste of urine, or be entirely scentless and tasteless.

Part of the reason why female ejaculation was considered so undesir- able in earlier modern times was due to the great debate over what the fluid is and where it comes from. While a woman may accidentally expel urine when pushing during sex, for many this is not the case. Many, like researchers Belzer, Whipple, Moser, Zaviacic, and Cabello-Santamaria, believe that it is a prostatic fluid (like that released from the male’s pros- tate) that contains glucose, fructose, prostate-specific antigen, and the pri- mary markers of urine (very low levels of creatinine and urea), and that it is expelled into the urethral canal by the forty or so glands and ducts of the female prostate. One more recent study by Dr. Gary Schubach involving seven women found that the 50–900 ml. of fluid expelled unquestionably came from their bladders, despite the fact that they had been drained prior to sexual arousal. When analyzed, the fluid was found to be a greatly re- duced concentration of two primary components in urine, urea and crea- tinine, in many ways complementing previous research. The possible presence of a milky-white fluid from the urethral glands and ducts was ob- served as well. Researchers concluded that the fluid came from a combina- tion of residual moisture in the walls of the bladder and from postdrain-

age kidney output, as well as possibly an emission of the urethral glands and ducts.

Many people consider female ejaculation highly arousing, regardless of the fluid’s makeup or source. Part of being okay with the phenomenon involves normalizing it, becoming more educated about it, and under- standing that it is a perfectly natural reaction to sexual excitement. Talk- ing to your partner can help to diffuse some of the embarrassment and ignorance surrounding the issue—such as may arise, for example, from thinking she’s just lost the contents of her bladder—and can show that you’re sexually empowered and confident. Furthermore, explaining that it’s a reaction to how aroused you are will make it a form of flattery more

than anything else.
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Whether or not your (or your lover’s) G-spot is sensitive, your A-spot as- sists in lubrication, or you’re a female ejaculator, what’s important to take away from this chapter is that every woman is unique. Every woman will react differently to various kinds of stimulation of her internal hot spots and will also react differently from one time to the next. As you explore the full potential of the G-spot and the A-spot, don’t put pressure on yourself or your lover to react in a certain way. Your body will do what it’s meant to do naturally, and being able to embrace that reality will make sex play much more pleasurable for both of you.

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Her Undiscovered, Make-Me-Moan Spots

T

he clitoris, mons pubis, inner lips, outer lips, urethral opening, and vaginal opening together make up what is referred to as the
vulva,

or
pudendum,
the female’s external genitals (see Figure 4.1). This is a highly erogenous area that protects the vagina. We’ve already reviewed the clitoris, but the erotic potential held in the vulva’s other parts are well worth exploring since the results can be absolutely out of this world, de- pending on your partner’s preferences and the types of stimulation that take her breath away.

Even though they are part of a female’s internal genitalia, two other hot spots are covered in this chapter: the cervix and the M-spot. They are featured here because, had I included them in the last chapter, they may have gotten overlooked during the excitement that comes from talking about the G-spot, and because, like the other erogenous zones covered in this chapter, they’re often ignored starlets, bursting with unrealized talent and just waiting to be discovered.

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FIGURE 4.1: The external female genitalia (vulva)

Vulval Myths and Misconceptions

Myth: Only the clitoris has orgasmic potential.

Playing solely with any of the body parts described in this chapter may re- sult in an orgasm—or several, for that matter. You should keep in mind that reactions vary from person to person, so don’t be disappointed if stimulation of any of these spots doesn’t do anything for you. Toying with the clitoris at the same time, however, will increase the chances of orgas- mic response when stimulating any area of the body.

Myth: Women can only have one of three kinds of orgasm— clitoral, vaginal, or a blend of the two.

While many women may typically experience clitoral, vaginal, and/or blended orgasms, stimulation of other parts of the body, including the

other areas of her vulva and her internal genitals, may result in a much dif- ferent orgasmic experience. It is limiting to think that any human being can only have a certain type of orgasm. Like any potential aphrodisiac, the second you believe that something is sexual or that you will have a certain reaction to it, you are likelier to elicit the very response you desire.

Rules for Vulval Play

• Begin stimulation with slow, light touches, especially if you’re not sure what she likes. The vulval area is made up of tender, sensitive tissue and needs to be treated accordingly. If she likes it rougher, by all means, oblige.
  
• Get it wet. As she gets more and more turned on, dip your fingers into her vagina, as if you were finger painting, to obtain her own natural secretions for use on the vulva. If she’s having a dry day, the use of other lubes, like K-Y’s Warming Jelly, can result in a vaginal- area slip’n’slide and can also heat things up by creating tingly sensations.
  
• It practically goes without saying at this point, but make sure your fingernails are smooth and free of hangnails, and be sure to use lube, if necessary.
  

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TIPS
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Try different moves.

With any of these hot spots, take several shots at stimulating one over several inti- mate engagements. Different sensations may produce different reactions at differ- ent moments. For example, see if she prefers continuous, persistent caresses or more repeated, stop-and-go movements. Keep in mind that she may have a totally different response after a long day’s work, when she’s in need of much doting, than she will late on a Sunday morning, when she’s feeling frisky after a good night’s sleep. One area may be much more sensitive right before or during her period, whereas she may get totally turned on in a different way when she’s pregnant and her genitals are more engorged with blood. This being the case, you should al- ways ask her how she’s feeling, letting her know that you’re there to meet her every need. All she has to do is keep you informed!