Touch Me There (6 page)

An acupressure point can feel sore when pressure is applied. Be sure to ask your partner to let you know if they experience any tenderness. If your partner would like for you to continue, do so with slow, careful pressure so that a spot doesn’t become too sore.

To locate the acupoints, keep in mind that most will be along a bone indentation or protrusion. Don’t press directly on a bone unless you feel an indentation in the hollow of the bone. Other points are mostly located underneath major muscle groups, which can be found by feeling for a muscular cord or slight indentation between tendon and muscle. Once an acupoint is found, press it slowly and directly.

Reflexology

The components of one’s total self—the body, mind, and spirit—are nour- ished and replenished by sexual energy. Whether regarded as life force, breath, air, energy, or vital essence, chi is the life-giving force that creates movement and maintains the universe. Working with this energy is what contributes to one’s overall state of happiness. Sexual reflexology culti- vates the expression of energy that will better one’s mind, body, and spirit. It works with the body’s sexual energy and the way it manifests itself in the body, and its role in health and well-being has been recognized by Taoists for the last five thousand years.

The general premise of reflexology is that all of the body’s organs have reflex points located on other body parts. Organs in one area of the body can be stimulated by working the reflexes in a corresponding reflex-point area. Sexual reflex points, the most powerful and strongest of which are the sexual organs, draw upon the body’s best energy since the entire body is involved in feeding the sexual center with energy. When stimulated, the

sexual reflex points have a powerful healing effect on one’s organs and senses. Sex acts, such as intercourse, become a form of “ecstatic” acupres- sure, in that the entire body pumps the sexual organs full of energy when they are stimulated, promoting general relaxation and releasing endor- phins, which help the body to feel good. Taoists see sexual intimacy as a healing practice, the cultivation of sexual energy for the body, mind, and spirit that ultimately leads to a healthier, sexier individual.

There are four basic techniques used in reflexology, two of which you can use on many of the hot spots described in this book. (Most of us are familiar with reflexology that is performed on the feet and hands, but you can think of the whole body as your playing field.) As with any other ex- ercise, you’ll get better with practice, so don’t be afraid to practice on yourself!

1. Thumb walking—Bend the first joint of your thumb (the one closest to the tip), being careful not to bend the second joint (the one at the base). Holding the thumb below the first joint will help. Bend and unbend it a few times in midair for practice. Place the outside edge of your thumb on the skin of the area you wish to stimulate, rocking it from the tip of the thumb to the lower edge of the nail. “Walk” the thumb forward by bending and unbending the first joint, being care- ful not to push the thumb. You want it to inch along, using firm pressure. Check in with your partner to see if the pressure needs to be adjusted; what feels good will change depending on the body part being stimulated and the person’s sensitivity.
   
2. Finger walking—Bend your index finger at the first joint (the one closest to the tip) only. Holding the finger below the first knuckle may help. Bend and unbend in midair for practice. Then place the tip of your finger on the part of the body you wish to stimulate, and rock from the fingertip to the lower edge of the fingernail. “Walk” the finger forward by bending and unbending the first joint with- out pushing the finger. Check in with your partner to see if more or less pressure is desired. Also, avoid digging into the skin with your fingernail.
   

Hot-Spot Send-Off

The full scope of tantra, yoga, acupressure, and reflexology goes far be- yond what is presented in this book. Yet key components of each are brought together here in an attempt to interweave the many facets of mind, body, and spirit that make an erogenous zone so incredibly hot. I have drawn upon these disciplines in the hope that you will become bet- ter able to stimulate your body and your lover’s body, expand your sexual energy, and have a more blissful, gratifying sensual experience overall.

With all of this in mind, we’re ready for a guided tour of the body’s wild attractions and eruptive reactions. Chapters 2 through 4 take you through all of
her
orgasmic hot spots, namely the clitoris, G-spot, A-spot, urethra, cervix, and labia. Chapters 5 through 7 focus on
his
orgasmic spots, primarily the frenulum, corona, foreskin, prostate, perineum, and testicles. Chapters 8 through 12 celebrate mind-blowing spots on both sexes, covering the breasts, head, torso, anus, hands, and feet. This part of the book will titillate your imagination about new possibilities for warm- ing up to great sex or for making the hot spots the main event. So, again, don’t take the order of the chapters as an indication of the sequence in which you should approach their content. Feel free to fool around! Chap- ters 13 and 14 wrap things up by describing sex toys and sexual positions. Lastly, the Resources and Recommended Reading section, located at the back of the book, provides a list of sources for more information on many of the topics discussed in this book. It also lists retail outlets where you can buy the products mentioned in the text.

All of the following chapters aim to

• show you how to find Mother Nature’s often-hidden treasures and maximize their pleasure
  
• offer a plethora of sex facts and tips
  
• provide you with techniques and fresh ideas about how to use and/or stimulate each area effectively
  
• enable you to become a better communicator and lover
  
• release you from any notions of what you “can’t” do
  
• help you build intimacy with both yourself and your lover
  

As we visit each of the body’s hot spots, we’ll cover a variety of sexual behaviors, dive into a wide range of ways to enhance sex, explore different types of fantasy, and practice exercises that will help you to become more orgasmic and sexually satisfied. As you read through each chapter, engag- ing in the exercises of your choosing, take a moment to reconceptualize what it means to be intimate, what total-body intimacy can offer you and your partner. This is one guided tour you won’t want to miss!

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2
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Her Must-Know, Volcanic Hot Spot

T

he
clitoris
(C-spot) is a highly sensitive sexual organ. Even though the visible part is only ¾ to 1¼ inches long, it is filled with nearly eight thousand nerve endings. This crown jewel sits right in front of the vaginal entrance and urethra, just beneath the point where the inner lips meet, and it extends into the body. It consists of (1) the
clitoral glans
(or
glans clitoris
), the visible, external tip or crown, which is the most sen- sitive part of a woman’s genitals, and (2) the
clitoral shaft
or
corpus
(body), which contains spongy erectile tissue, specifically a pair of cor- pora cavernosa (the same tissue that is found in the male’s penis). The cli- toral body extends several centimeters into the internal anatomy, stretch- ing upward and toward the back, before splitting, like a Y, into two longer, thinner parts, known as the
crura,
or “legs.” The clitoris’s erectile tissue wraps around the vaginal opening, urethra, urethral sponge, and vagina, making the vast majority of the clitoris’s five or so inches invisible. Far be- yond a simple magic button, the clitoris is meant to electrify a woman’s

entire reproductive system, if not her entire being, when stimulated.

The clitoris is enveloped by a sheath of tissue, an extension of the inner vulval lips, known as the
clitoral hood,
or
prepuce.
Gently pushing

16

up the clitoral hood provides a better view of the glans. This hood protects the glans, especially from overstimulation. The glans folds into the hood just prior to orgasm, a reaction caused when a suspensory ligament that is attached to both glans and ovaries becomes stretched at peak arousal as the woman’s internal reproductive system braces for climax.

The size and appearance of the clitoris varies considerably from woman to woman. It may be as small as a seed pearl or as big as a child’s fingertip; some females have what is considered an “enlarged” clitoris. Some protrude more, while others remain more hidden. Some may swell more than the clitoral hood and lips during sexual excitement, becoming more visible and firmer, with the shaft elongating. Others may appear to retreat as the vaginal lips and hood swell to a greater extent. Generally, this pleasure dome becomes more prominent during early sexual arousal and stimulation and then withdraws as a female becomes even more turned on.

Why Is the Clitoris One of the Hottest Spots?

When a woman is sexually aroused, her clitoris swells as it fills with blood; it becomes “erect,” doubling in size as it hardens. This is possible because its internal structure consists of spongy, erectile bodies (the paired cor- pora cavernosa, plus paired clitoral, or vestibular, bulbs beneath the skin of the labia minora at the vaginal opening) that fill with blood. The cli- toris is deemed one of the prized hot spots of the female anatomy both be- cause up to 75 percent of women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to climax during intercourse and also because this piece of heaven is so exquisitely sensitive to touch, pressure, and temperature. With its base extending from the top of the pubic bone to the anus, and consisting of ex- tensive supporting tissue that connects it to the mons pubis and labia, the clitoris interacts with some fifteen thousand nerve fibers in a woman’s pelvic area. Furthermore, recent research conducted by Australian urolo- gist Dr. Helen O’Connell has confirmed that the vagina is an extension of the clitoris. If skin is lifted off the sidewalls of the vagina, one sees the bulbs of the clitoris—masses of erectile tissue.