Touch Me There (29 page)

twist tongues.

If up to now you’ve taken lips for granted, you may find that attend- ing to them is a sexually stimulating experience of its own. Whether it’s the first time or the ten thousandth time you’ve kissed your adored one, consider approaching the act in a whole new way by using the following exercise.

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EXERCISE 9.9:
Lip Exploration

1. Trace the outline of your lover’s mouth with your fingertips.
   
2. Press against your partner’s lips with your own.
   
3. Move your lips around your beloved’s mouth, every now and then moving to other areas of the face.
   
4. One partner kisses the upper lip while the other kisses the lower lip. Use your tongue to stimulate the area where upper lip meets gum.
   
5. Try touching each other’s teeth with your tongues.
   
6. Take your lover’s lower lip into your mouth, and using the tip of your tongue, playfully lick the indented area where your partner’s outer lip and chin meet before moving back upward for a full lip lock.
   
7. Kiss the indentation midway between your lover’s lower lip and chin. The center of this area holds the Supporting Nourishment point (see Figure 9.2 on page 118), which relaxes the facial muscles and enhances awareness of the sexual energy around the lips.
   

Results: This exercise fully engages all of the lip’s nerve endings and allows partners to connect.

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EXERCISE 9.10:
Kissing Two Lips at Once

In this exercise, the recipient is a woman.

1. Gently take her upper lip between your lips and begin to suck it so that your lower lip lightly rubs her mouth’s frenulum (the tiny bit of connective tissue located inside the mouth between upper lip and gum).
   
2. On occasion, run your tongue across this area.
   

The result: According to Dr. Gloria Brame, the frenulum is considered a direct channel to her clitoris. When it’s stimulated, some women expe- rience a clitoral orgasm.

The Power of Lips

Research has indicated that the size of an individual’s lips plays a key role in determining whether they are sexually attractive to other people. Basically, the bigger the better, but too big is generally deemed unattrac- tive. Medium-sized lips are considered better on men than either too small or too large, and women’s lips are considered sexier if full, red, and warm, which indicates receptivity and expressiveness. (Think about how someone’s lips flush, becoming darker and fuller, when they’re pleased to see you.) Pursing your lips is not a positive signal and, in sexual terms, is taken as indicating disinterest.

The Tongue

It practically goes without saying that the tongue’s role in attraction and seduction includes its ability to taste and to stimulate as well as its high re- ceptivity to touch. In conjunction with the sense of smell, the tongue’s ability to detect the mix of salt and sweet on a lover’s body plays a part in turning lovers on.

Throughout this book I have discussed the tongue’s wetness, warm- ing and lubricating effects, and range of movements, such as presses and strokes. I would now like to suggest using this muscle to vary the nature of your strokes as you stimulate any hot spot. As you explore erogenous zones, alternate between using the top of your tongue and then its under- side. This will heighten excitement by adding new elements to your touch. Humans have long utilized their taste buds to make sex an even more appetizing experience. With or without a blindfold, try offering your sweetheart any of the following oral aphrodisiacs: chocolate, fruit (e.g., grapes, orange blossoms, mango), wine, champagne, raw seafood (e.g., oys- ters, clams), any food containing spices like black pepper, chili peppers, or mandrake (these boost the body’s heat, making you feel more turned on). As you satiate your partner’s animal appetite, don’t be shy about giving him or her a taste of yourself every now and then, whether it’s your lus- cious lips, your nipples (perhaps dipped in powdered sugar or honey), or

other parts of your body.

Beyond its value when it comes to taste and stimulation, the tongue is viewed as a switch that connects the two channels in the body that cir- culate chi (energy). Sexual reflexology holds that when touched to the roof of the mouth just behind the teeth, the tongue completes a circuit of energy flow, allowing energy to travel up the spine and continue down the front of the body. This current, known as the Microcosmic Orbit, provides the body’s cells with the energy needed to grow, heal, and function, ulti- mately improving sexual functioning. Furthermore, according to Taoism, the tongue is an energetic extension of the heart and is strongly connected to the sexual center. Exercising the tongue, as described in the following activity, helps to open the heart and activate sexual energy.

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EXERCISE 9.11:
Titillating Tongue Action

Place the tip of your tongue between your front teeth and the inside of your upper lip. Circle it in a counterclockwise direction downward to the inside of the lower lip and back up; complete up to forty repetitions. Change directions.

To activate your heart and sexual center as a part of foreplay or sex, perform the following exercise.

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EXERCISE 9.12:
Tongue Slide

Vigorously slide your tongue back and forth against your upper palate, massaging it up to forty times. Feel the heat move from the roof of your mouth to the rest of your body.

The Brain

Believe it or not, your brain is the primary source of the Big O. The brain is by far the largest, most orgasmic hot spot in the entire human body. Consider the following evidence: Some people with spinal-cord injuries that make them unable to feel anything below the waist still report expe- riencing orgasm.
Nocturnal orgasms,
which can happen to either sex (they’re called “wet dreams” when they happen to males, because they usually result in ejaculation), occur as you dream because your brain gets your body so turned on that your body goes through the entire sexual-re- sponse cycle—even without your having experienced any physical stimu- lation. This is possible because the brain houses your main sexual-re- sponse center. The limbic system, in the central region, holds three key areas: (1) the amygdala, which controls emotional states and affects how we interpret sexual stimuli; (2) the hypothalamus, which regulates sexual behavior and expression and mediates how we feel pleasure; and (3) the septum, a pleasure pathway. Furthermore, the brain’s cerebral cortex is in charge of our ability to speak, learn, think, perceive, and make choices, in- cluding governing our sexual fantasies, daydreams, and memories.

The brain is also involved in sexual arousal, releasing endorphins when a person experiences intense physical activity, heavy breathing, and

sexual stimulation. Endorphins are responsible for the pleasurable sensa- tions we experience when we become aroused to the point that we experi- ence an altered state of consciousness.

In Taoism, the center of the brain is connected to the uterus and prostate gland. In fact, all of the body’s sexual organs (ovaries, uterus, testicles, and prostate gland) are closely connected to the brain, particularly the pineal gland, a.k.a. the “enlightenment gland” or “gland of direction,” which sits beneath the crown chakra. Taoists believe that circulating sex- ual energy down to the sacrum and then back up to the brain increases brain memory.