Touchdown Baby (23 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

The last eight hours seemed to have stretched on endlessly. Jace hadn’t felt this much anxiety since he was waiting to find out what team would select him in the draft. Ironically, he came home during the stress of that time, and now as he drove down familiar streets, he only hoped and prayed it would again yield such miraculous results.

His first stop was to his parents. In the driveway of his parents’ modest home, Jace looked around the yard his dad took meticulous care of and the flowerbeds his mom prized. The memories of throwing his first football in this very yard and running his dirt bike through the spring flowers assaulted him in a rush of nostalgia. He was raised with love, and now he finally was willing to admit acceptance as a
real
son.

He could still picture his parents on the sidelines cheering and sometimes criticizing his efforts on the field, loyally attending every home game and most of the away ones. When he threw his first touchdown, he heard John yelling, “That’s my boy!” The name on the back of his jersey was just that, a name, not the definition of a father/son relationship.

This was what he wanted his kids to feel when they came back home after they began their lives. Walking around back, because he knew only company used the front door, he stepped into the kitchen where his dad was making a sandwich for his dinner.

Normally he would just give a casual “how’s it going” and walk through, but today he had to let his dad know what he did. He momentarily felt like the boy who had to explain how he accidently broke the window in the garage door with a wayward basketball.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

Just when I think I’m grown up, I revert.

“Son, it’s good to see you. Your momma was wondering if you were going to make it here this weekend for Mother’s Day. I told her you hadn’t missed one yet, didn’t expect this to be the first one.” John stood in his stocking feet, torn jeans his mom complained about constantly and a stained shirt that had seen one too many Sunday football hoagies.

“Don’t tell Mom, but I forgot it was Mother’s Day. I’ve been distracted lately.” Guilt washed over Jace for almost forgetting his mother on such a special day. He would have to give her a great present tomorrow.

When his dad finished making his sandwich and placed an identical one on the counter in front of Jace, the truth came out in a flurry. “I have a daughter! I met with Cal Johnson this morning, and I never thought of you as my
real
dad until now.”

Of every possible scenario he played out in his mind, the smile that crossed John’s face was the most shocking. “I know. Well, I knew about the first and the last. The meeting is a surprise but not a shock.”

“How could you know about any of it? I just came to the realization about our relationship today, and your easy acceptance of my having a child doesn’t make sense.” The sandwich forgotten on the counter, Jace stood up from the stool and paced around the kitchen. It wasn’t far to go, just ten steps back and forth.

“I have been fighting a paternity suit over a little boy quite publicly, and you can accept I have a daughter? Don’t you want to know who she is? Where she is? Who her mother is?” Turning to look out the window that led into the backyard where Ashlyn’s play yard was set up, it hit him like a lightning bolt. Rubbing his calloused hand roughly up and down his face, he asked, “How long have you known?”

“Well, until this moment we were never one hundred percent sure. Your mother and I suspected, but Ava was adamant we did not know the father. We questioned her when Ashlyn was a few months old. One look at Ashlyn’s eyes and the way whenever you came home, Ava had to be somewhere, anywhere but at family gatherings where you would be, kept us with lingering doubts.” John walked over and placed a hand on Jace’s shoulder.

“Ava and Ashlyn are special members of our family. Ava was never just Roxi’s best friend or Lia and Howard’s daughter. She carries a special spot in our hearts. When she blessed us with a grandchild but never admitted her paternity, your mom and I knew she had her reasons.”

John applied slight pressure to Jace’s shoulder and turned his son to face him. “We both believe Ava has loved you for years and was willing to protect you and your career by forsaking her comfort. Don’t get me wrong. Ashlyn has never wanted or needed anything. Ava is a great mother and always puts Ashlyn first. You can bet your ass if it had been any other way, your mom and I would have stepped in. Of course Lia and Howard would be busting in first, but we would have been behind them. Howard and I both tried to help make repairs on the house, but it took you coming in to make it happen. She trusts you. I think you are ready to accept who you really are now, a son, brother, father and, if you are lucky, her husband.”

Gesturing to his son to sit at the table, John placed the sandwich in front of him again. His dad took the seat at the end of the table, just like he’d done during every dinner throughout his childhood.

“Are you disappointed in me?”

The question had come out on the barest whisper. With his head down as if he were examining his sandwich, Jace waited for a reply that might or might not come.

“I can’t lie to you. I was initially. Then I faced the fact you truly had no idea. Ava hid your identity from everyone, even Roxi. You mother and I contemplated questioning you about the possibility, but you’re both adults and make your own decisions. I still don’t think Roxi has put it together. How that girl can look into those eyes and not recognize you is beyond me.”

The next five minutes were taken up with John and Jace eating their sandwiches. When John broke the silence, Jace almost choked on his last bite. “I prayed every night while your mom was pregnant with Roxi that she wasn’t a boy. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to compete with a brother for attention from your dad. It wasn’t until you got in school that I knew you didn’t accept our relationship. Sure you called me
Dad
, but you never thought I really loved you like my son.”

Jace knew he should say something, but how did a man apologize to his dad for not believing in him? The burn behind his eyes had him blinking to clear his vision.

John’s voice sounded scratchy, and he had to clear his throat several times before he continued. It helped Jace to know his dad was feeling some of the unexpected emotions surging through him.

“Truth is I loved you first. Your mother was a wonderful woman, and I knew deep down she was the one, but one look at the shy boy she called ‘Jacey’ and my heart was yours. You were my son before I even told your momma I loved her. You are the greatest gift I was ever given. I still thank your mom on our anniversary for making me your dad. She could have walked away, and I would have lost everything.”

Jace could look at his dad now and see the love in his eyes, and it brought tears. He stood so he could pull him into an embrace. He hugged the man who was his father in every sense of the word.

“I love you, Dad. Thank you for everything you’ve given to me and given up for me. I’m sorry it took so long for me to accept your love and acceptance as completely as you gave it. Can you forgive me?”

“Son, you never have to apologize for your feelings. If I didn’t stop loving you when you carved your name into the side of my Harley when you were eight, then I never will.” With a manly pat on the back and a few sniffles, they sat back at the table, and Jace told him all about his meeting with Cal and what he sent him as a parting gift.

****

After two hours at the mall, having bought the items he needed for his mother, Lia, and most importantly for Ava, and fielding hundreds of questions from fellow shoppers about the youth center he was putting in his hometown, Jace finally made it back to his parents’.

He could have stopped by Ava’s to apologize and talk out their problems, but he knew Ashlyn went to bed around seven thirty. He wouldn’t have been able to hold back from waking her. After all, he’d already missed the first years of her life. He needed Ava’s full attention to apologize for being an ass and wanted her explanation as to why she never responded to the note he’d left in the Escalade, asking forgiveness after he lost his temper. He’d have to finagle a private moment tomorrow.

He slept in the twin bed in his old room. It was not ideal, but ironically, he slept like a baby for the first time in years. Except for the nights he had spent with Ava.

****

Walking the floors with a fussy child never got any easier. The last twelve hours felt like an eternity.

The shock of Ashlyn’s bellowing, after only being in her bed for thirty minutes, scared ten years off Ava’s life. When Ava held her, the fever burning up the little body scared another twenty away. At this rate, her daughter might reach adulthood, but
she
would never see it. How had her parents survived ear infections?

The entire drive to the after-hours clinic Ashlyn screamed, convincing Ava her baby was dying. Fear and panic for her normally healthy, sweet girl left her trembling. Roxi was out for the night with her latest man and her phone was off. After trying to contact her mom and being sent directly to voice mail, Ava attempted to reach Lexi and got the same result. The only other person she would want by her side was Jace, so she placed the call, needing his support.

“This is Jace. If you hear this, leave me a message.”

This had to be God’s way of reminding her she had made her choice.

Two hours and a prescription later, she finally made it home and thought she would be able to lay her princess down and get a few much needed hours of sleep. Of course, in the way of all great princesses, Ashlyn had other plans, resulting in Mommy pacing the floor for eight of the next ten hours, trying to comfort the toddler who slept fitfully.

When her cell rang and startled Ashlyn, Ava panicked, afraid it would wake the beast that had once been her precious baby. God must have gotten some sleep because he was feeling gracious, and Ashlyn continued to sleep peacefully cradled in her mama’s arms.

The caller identification showed Roxi, and Ava was tempted not to answer. When Roxi left the night before, stating she shouldn’t wait up or worry if she didn’t come home, Ava had been happy for her friend. Now she felt jealous of the freedom.

Guilt washed over her tired body, and she felt like crying. When had she become such a bitch? Hitting the button on the phone, she whispered a greeting and tried to cover the tears that clogged her throat.

“Where are you?” Roxi barked out.

“
Shushhhhhhhh
! I’m at home. Ashlyn is sick.”

“Oh my God, is she okay?” Panic and fear for Ashlyn was evident in her voice.

“She’s better. I had to take her to after-hours last night for an ear infection and strep throat. Apparently, she caught the infection at daycare last week. I think spending yesterday outside brought it on faster than normal. She’s been restless most of the night, and I’ve been walking the floors. What’s up?”

“Mother’s Day! We were supposed to meet our parents at church and then head to Mom and Dad’s for brunch.”

“I can’t believe I forgot. Damn, there is no way I can make it to church. Will you send my regrets to my mom? I don’t even want to take Ash out today. We both need to catch up on sleep, and I just can’t face reality today.” The scratching of the phone told her Roxi was passing her message on to the parents.

Her mom’s voice replaced Roxi’s. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I did, Mom. I was sent to voice mail, and before Lexi asks I called her too.”

The silence that met this declaration momentarily shocked her. “I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you. We were out with John and Lexi.”

“Everything is fine. No need to be sorry. Ashlyn is fine, just tired. I got her medicine last night, and between the antibiotic and the Tylenol, her fever is down. Now we are both going to spend the day in our pajamas.”

Before her mom could suggest coming over and witnessing the true mess her daughter was, Ava added, “Happy Mother’s Day. I love you! You have given me the best and most magnificent image to mold myself after. I am so grateful for the love and support you have always provided. Please enjoy your day with your friends. I will spend my day being a mom and earning my title.”

When her mom began to press the issue of coming over and helping, Ava politely hung up and pressed a kiss on the top of damp curls. “We are going to make a mother-daughter duo that will be written about one day, but only if we get some sleep. We have to drive back to Nashville tonight so Mommy can get to work tomorrow.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Ava woke to a dark room and was shocked. She didn’t mean to sleep so long, needing to get back to Nashville to work the next day. It was four-hour drive. Stretching and slowly easing her tired and sore muscles from the bed, her feet hit the floor and landed on something hard.

The picture of her smiling baby and a “Golden” football hero made her catch her breath. She must have knocked it off the nightstand at some point. Picking it up, she looked into the smiling faces of her two favorite people. The picture represented a time when her life was full of the secrets; now she had the opportunity to replace this accidental picture of a father and daughter with one she had taken in the backyard of his house. She still had secrets but only for a short time. It was time to face her fears and tell Jace the truth.
Long past the time to tell him the truth.

Before heading to brush her teeth, she checked on Ashlyn just to make sure she was fine. Ava stepped into the pale pink bedroom. The sight of Jace, this giant of a man, cradling the sleeping child almost brought her to her knees.

The stopping and the ogling were made possible by the simple fact that Jace appeared to have fallen asleep rocking their baby. His cheek rested gently against the top of her head as she snuggled into the crook of his neck. Was it horrible that she was jealous of her own daughter?

Standing in the open doorway and watching the gentle rise and fall of Ashlyn’s back, Ava let the tears flow. This moment in time needed to be cherished. The love of a father and daughter was special, and the bond was inevitable with these two. Ashlyn would never remember this moment, but Ava would never forget it. Stepping out she wiped her eyes and went to get herself together.

In the quiet bathroom, Ava tried to gather her thoughts. She reminded herself she was mad at him for the cruel words he yelled on the last day they spoke. How was it her body could forgot the cruelty and throb in places only he could awaken with just his scent in the air?

Her evening routine complete, Ava called the principal at the school and explained Ashlyn’s illness. She jumped at the unexpected offer to take the next day off without it affecting her final grade or potential for a job.

She knew Jace had to get back to Nashville for his training, which made it a little easier to stay here and not worry about going home with him. Seeing his protective side shining brightly while he cradled Ashlyn convinced her she had to start the separation now. The decision made, she walked back to the nursery on a mission to get two hundred and twenty pounds of muscle out of her house.

****

The moment she stepped back in the room Jace felt the electricity. Pretending to be asleep might seem cowardly, but he was scared to face her. He wanted to spend just a little while longer feeling the tiny sweet breaths of his angel against his neck.

“I know you’re awake.”

The slight rise of his shoulders and exhaled breath proved her point. When he spoke, the sound of his voice momentarily startled Ashlyn, and she stirred but did not wake. “I love her. She is everything. Everything I didn’t know I wanted. Everything I will ever want, and knowing I made her with you makes her that much more special.” Looking up and meeting eyes that were wide with shock scared Jace to his soul.

“It took me a while to figure out why her eyes seemed so familiar. When I look at her, I just see a miniature you and just want to hold her and protect her from the world. I didn’t understand the connection I felt toward her and thought it was just the feeling I had for you manifesting into love for her. But she had my heart from the moment I saw her chasing bubbles at the playground. I knew before I found out.” The large tan hand that stroked the back of the tiny pink nightgown stilled, and he made eye contact again with Ava.

“This probably all sounds crazy, and I have a lot of questions about why you didn’t tell me about her, and we will discuss it but not right now.”

Silent tears ran down Ava’s face as she took in the words he was sure she never wanted to hear. The urge to get up, wrap his arms around her, and promise to love her forever overwhelmed him.

Ashlyn finally settled, and Ava laid her down in her small bed. Turning the switch to her monitor on so she could be heard if she even took a deep breath, Jace headed toward Ava. When she stepped around him and went to caress her baby, a feeling of guilt swamped him, knowing she had been on her own since the night they spent together three years before.

He had been a cocky boy with too much talent at throwing a football and not enough common sense. She had been a sweet, sexy college freshman with just enough naiveté to trust him. It changed both their lives. They both gave into feelings, leaving them naked and sweating on a sectional sofa for one night of what could only be called soul-mating.

Jace stepped behind Ava and wrapped his arms around her. It felt like the right thing to do until she stiffened at his touch.

****

The living room that felt comfortable only days ago now held a chill not due to the temperature. Settling onto one end of the couch and patiently waiting for Ava to find a seat felt like it took an eternity.

When Ava finally raised her head and looked directly into his soul, he should have run.

“You said unforgivable things to me the other night.”

“I apologized. I left a note in the Escalade, but you ignored it.”

“Well, I never got it.”

“Well, I can’t help that.”

When a woman can see your deepest fears and desires and still holds a glacial grudge, you are in deep shit
.

He was the injured party. He was the one who had a child he didn’t get to see enter the world; he wasn’t there to hold her hand while she took her first steps. He never had the opportunity to sit up with her all night when she got her first ear infection.

Thoughts rushed through his mind about all the things he had missed, and it started to piss him off all over again. What gave her the right to make all the decisions for their child? He should have been here for everything. Rage at the injustice of missing so many milestones pulsated deep within him, and everything he and his dad discussed fled in the thick silence. Ava sat on the couch as if he was at fault, and it infuriated him. When he ran his fingers through his hair, the shaking of his hand ignited his barely controlled anger.

He could stand in the middle of a packed stadium with thousands of people spewing hatred toward his team or the menacing presence of eleven strong and aggressive athletes wanting to end his game or, even worse, his career and that couldn’t make his hand shake. But, this one hundred and twenty pound female made his body vibrate with both anger and lust.

“So why didn’t you tell me about her? Couldn’t you think of anyone but yourself?”

Anger flashed in her eyes when she jerked her head up to match his glare. “Are you fucking kidding me? You left me alone the morning after my first sexual experience. You broke my heart when you left. Not to mention you are my best friend’s brother and a fucking football star every girl in the country chased after.” Sitting back against the couch and then jumping to her feet, she faced him as if they were going to throw punches.

“By the time I realized I was pregnant I had to think of something to tell my parents. Roxi was hurt I never told her about having sex, and I had a tiny person making me throw up twenty times a day.” Ava made sure she left plenty of space between them before sitting down again.

What the hell was she being defensive about?

“You never planned on telling me, did you?”

“No, I mean, yes, I had a plan. When you retired and you were out of the spotlight, I would tell you. You were so adamant you didn’t want to have a family. I never thought you would father another child.”

“I didn’t…
father
another child. I got the call yesterday. Felicia admitted to lying. I never slept with her. Hell, she wasn’t even part of the bachelorette party. It was just a fucked-up plot I never need to know more about. She apologized and dropped everything, and I decided not to press charges against her. Why run her name through the mud any more than she already did?”

It wasn’t really his first choice not to press charges, but after discussing the situation involving Ava and Ashlyn, he and his publicist thought introducing the three of them as a family to the media should not be linked with a lawsuit. Especially not one filed to ruin the reputation of a woman in cahoots with his biological father.

“Do you hate me?” Her question asked in such a small voice, if there had been even a slight noise in the house, he would have missed it.

Tremors continued to rack his normally steady hands, and Jace wanted to say no, but he couldn’t do it. “I don’t hate you, but I am struggling to understand you.” With his head in his hands, he looked at the carpet and decided honesty was going to have to be their policy if they were going to raise their daughter together. “I spoke to my dad, and he explained why he thought you did it.”

The air in his lungs threatened to strangle him, and he released a deep sigh. He chanced looking up and took in the sight of Ava wrapped up in herself on the couch. Arms wound tightly around her knees while her hair still stood up in tufts from her long nap.

“I don’t know how I feel. Actually, I know exactly how I feel, no matter what happens between you and me; Ashlyn will always have me in her life. I know today is Mother’s Day and I got you a present. Twelve hours ago, hell, an hour ago, I thought I could forgive you and your decisions, but now I don’t honestly know if I can. I love you, but you broke my heart by not having faith in me.”

He stood. The four strides it took to get out of the room felt forbidding. Leaving her Mother’s Day present on the kitchen counter, he exited the house.