Touched (31 page)

When I awaken Jade is still wrapped around me, and her light breathing tells me she’s still sleeping soundly. I don’t want to move but need to hit the bathroom and make her a big breakfast. She’s laying on her stomach, an arm thrown over my waist, bent at the elbow with her hand placed over my heart, and her face is turned towards me. She’s beautiful. Slowly and carefully I pick up her arm and start to move it when she twists herself, moving over onto her side away from me, her hands moving under her pillow and hugging it. Quietly, I get out of bed, walk into the bathroom and do all my necessary business and then grab a t-shirt from my bag, pulling it over my head and put on my jeans. When I get downstairs and into the kitchen, I’m stopped by the aroma of bacon cooking, coffee and assorted other heavenly smells. Teresa looks at me with spatula in hand and smiles, then tilts her head to the table.

Smiling back I walk over, sit down and begin filling my plate with the variety of foods laid out before me. She soon joins me and starts buttering a piece of toast. “I’ve got a bunch on a plate for her, covered and in the microwave. I was hoping she’d sleep in today.” I nod as my fork full of food pushes into my mouth. “I’m glad we have a chance to talk. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you and my Jade are together and to find out that you’re the dirty little boy she used to play with daily in the sand, makes me even happier.” I laugh a bit at the ‘dirty’ part, but I understand what she means. She lays her knife down and looks at me. “Knox, I’m so grateful that you love her so much. She’s had such a rough life and so different than most girls. I didn’t think she would ever allow herself to fall in love, to be with a man or even feel the way she does with you.” I set my fork down enraptured by her words. “I’ve only wanted her to be happy, to lead a normal life and to be honest, I didn’t think she could, not after what happened.” She looks down at her plate and then back to me. “I’m sure you think of me as a monster not sticking up for her with her father and letting him treat her so badly but I assure you it killed me. I’m not strong like Jade. She gets that trait from her father, but not one day went by when I didn’t think of her, miss her and cry for her. Not one.” She picks up her toast and takes a bite looking ashamed as her eyes move away from mine.

“Ahem. Teresa? I don’t feel ill of you. Without you, Jade wouldn’t be here. What’s past is past and I think it’s best if both you and Jade bury it. Dwelling on it won’t change it. It will only keep it burning inside you, draining you and nothing good can come of that. I thank God you gave life to such a beautiful creature and that you helped make her what she is today. She’s strong, defiant, sweet and kind, and the most loving person I know.”

Her eyes move back to me, and a smile graces her face. “Well, now I know why she loves you so much. You’re a pretty smooth talker.” My laugh leaves my mouth before I can stop it. “Now. Eat up. You have a fiancée you need to be strong for today. You need all the strength you can muster and I made way too much food.” We both laugh at that, and I start eating in earnest.

T
WENTY
O
NE

When I awoke my mind was thinking about everything. End result. I’m starting a new leaf today. I will eat more, drink more water, but not so much that I become so fat Knox won’t want me, but what I need for our baby and me. I will get back to being my strong self and not let things get to me so much, and I need to start working out again. By the time I take my shower and get all things done in the bathroom I go downstairs and Mom handed me a plate of food that no one could eat everything on it. But I made a big dent.

Mom and I decided to go shopping, and Knox said he’d go so we’d all stay together. I bought a really pretty dress, one that Dad would like, and matching shoes. Knox actually liked it too saying it left more to the imagination, go figure. He said he liked it so much that after we see Dad, he wants to rip it off me. That made me hot in all the right places but didn’t help we were at a mall.

We’re walking hand in hand looking at all the shops while Mom is in one trying on clothes, and I stop short, turning to him. “Why are there no paparazzi around this time? I haven’t seen even one person with a camera trying to take our pictures. I’m not complaining; it just seems weird.”

He turns to me smiling, taking my hands in his and I’m smiling too, enjoying the look in his blue eyes. “I escaped.” A giggle leaves me as his eyebrows waggle. “Ralph and Emerson created a diversion and I snuck out, met them in a different location. It worked rather well. May have to try that again in the future. Right now no one knows where I am.”

Leaning up on my tiptoes I kiss him. “We’ll have to try that together. It’s nice not having to worry about them being around and we can be like normal people,” I say against his lips.

His face becomes serious. “How are you? Are you ready for this?” I turn my head, following his eyes, and see Mom approaching then look back at him.

I reach up and push up his frown with my fingers. “I’m good. I’m ready to see Dad and put the past behind me. No matter what he says to me I’m determined to forgive him and even if he throws a fit and tells me to leave, I’ll walk out of there with my head held high and know that I did what I could to make peace.”

He kisses me and then stares into my eyes with such love. “Fuck, I love you, Angel.” He kisses me with earnest and then rests his forehead against mine. “I’m ready for you to wear that dress and rip it off you right now. You can wear something else to see your dad.” His sexy grin and words make me want to let him, but I need to get this visit over with, and I want to wear that dress!

“Ah, it won’t be long, my darling and then you shall have your way.” He licks his lips and I turn to Mom quickly, trying to get my mind out of the gutter fast. “Let’s go Mom. I need to change before we leave and you need to put your haul of clothes away.” She laughs, and we start to walk again but my body is so on fire right now. I might need another shower before we go. Nah, it will cause an even bigger delay because I know Knox would join me. Smiling I look over at him, squeeze his hand, and I’m rewarded with his eyebrows waggling and his cocky grin.
Damn, we need to get a move on or I’m going to combust.

As we walk closer to the front door of the nursing home, my heart starts beating faster, and my nerves are going into overdrive. No, I won’t let this beat me. I know Knox is watching every move I make, every facial expression and my demeanor, so I square my shoulders back and raise my head as we walk into the front door. Mom knows his room number, so I just continue to follow her, and once we arrive at his door she walks in, and I stop.

“Angel, are you sure you want to go in there? It’s ok if you don’t. I stand behind you no matter what your decision is.”

I look over at him and see the concern and worry on his beautiful face. I shake my head and smile. “No, I’m good.”

His frown moves into a grin. “Is that why you have my hand in a death grip?” Quickly, I release his hand and give him my famous smirk. He chuckles and leans into me, kissing my mouth and whispers, “You’re so strong. I admire you.” My heart feels all the love he gives me, and I become more determined than ever.

I smile back, face forward and walk into the room. I’m more surprised at how small he looks in the bed. He’s a tall man, always been strong and powerful, but he has the TV on and is looking at it, but I can tell he really isn’t seeing anything. His eyes move to Mom, and he smiles, but I freeze in my spot when they move to me. At first, his smile turns into a frown and then his eyes light up, and his smile is huge. I feel so relieved that I walk over, bend down and kiss his forehead. “Hi, Pops. How are you today?”

He looks up at me, so I sit down in the chair beside his bed, and his arm moves towards me until his hand is on my face. I’m trying to control my chin that’s quivering, but I can’t stop it. “Jaden. You’ve grown into a beautiful woman.” His eyes move to Mom. “Just like your mother.” I look over at Mom and see her tears falling down her face and then I look back to Dad.

“You always were a smooth talker.” I give him a smirk, and he laughs. He laughed. My heart is so full with hope at that moment but its short lived.

“You brought a boy over, I see. He better be treating you right. You’re my girl and no one had better hurt you or they’ll have me to deal with,” he says as he looks at Knox. The tears begin to form, and I feel like I’m back in high school, bringing home a boy for the first time.

I take his hand and hold it close in mine. “No, Daddy. He’s treating me like a queen. I promise.” He looks back at me and smiles. Then his face changes to a serious look.

“I need time alone with you.” He looks at Mom and then at Knox, and I turn to them as well. Knox straightens his stance but Mom puts her hand on his arm, and he looks at her. She smiles and nods and he turns to me. I wipe away a tear that’s making its way down my face and smile, closing my eyes and reopening them, then nod. Only then Knox would let Mom lead him from the room, but he points to the hallway telling me he’s right there in case I need him. My smile is bigger as I nod again and wink at him, and then they are gone. I turn back to Dad, and he’s smiling.

I take a deep breath. “We’re alone, Daddy. I’m all yours.”

He tries to sit up but can’t so he settles to shift around trying to make himself more able to see me better. “You’ve always been all mine, pumpkin. God, I’ve missed you.” My brows raise, and my heart starts racing. He laughs. “Yes, my mind goes in and out, out mostly but there are times I’m here in the present. But I’ll be quick. I never know for how long I’m here.” He purses his lips as he tries not to cry, but I see the wetness in his eyes. He becomes blurry in my eyes as my tears start to swell, and his hand moves to my face to catch one as it falls. “I never told you often enough how very proud I am of you. I wasn’t the greatest of dads but I always loved you with everything I am. The night…” He stops and clears this throat. “That night, I was so mad. I wanted to kill that boy but instead I took it out on you.” His chin starts quivering, and a tear slides down his face. “I don’t know why I did that to you. I…” He sighs, and his face becomes morphed into anger. “I hate myself for the way I treated you. You didn’t deserve my lash. You deserved my love and I didn’t give it to you. I’m a monster.”

“No, Dad! Don’t…” His finger comes to my lips, and I hush immediately.

“Please. Let me get this out before it’s too late.” I nod and he releases my lips, and then he smiles. “You’ve always been a good girl.” Now I start sobbing full on. If he only knew what all I’ve done. He wouldn’t be saying that. He takes a deep breath and lets it out looking down at the bed. “I let you down and I’ll always regret that.” His eyes move back to mine, and he looks so sad. “I don’t expect your forgiveness. God knows I can’t forgive myself, but I would like to try to make peace before I leave this world.”

I stand and throw my arms around him and am surprised to feel his move around me. “Please don’t go, Daddy. Don’t leave me.” My cries are loud, but I don’t care who hears me. In that moment, I’ve forgiven him for anything he’s ever done to me, any time I’ve ever been upset at him, from the times I can count on one hand of spankings I received when I was little to the time he stole my banana at breakfast and any other mishap that’s happened in my entire life. I feel his hand rubbing my back and his body shaking with his own crying as we just hold each other. Finally, he pushes me back, and I sit back down wiping my tears away with both my hands. “Daddy? Know that you’re the best daddy in the world and I’m getting married to the boy out there in the hall and we’re going to have a baby.”

His brows raise and his face softens. “A baby,” he whispers. “Once again you’ve made me the happiest and proudest daddy. I wish I could walk you down the aisle and see and hold my grandchild but know that I’ll be watching when I’m gone and I’ll never been more proud of you than I am at this very moment.” I feel the love pour from him and hold on to it with everything I have. “I can die happy now. I can die in peace. Go get your mom. I need some alone time with her too.”

I nod, still pushing away fresh tears and stand. As I get to the door, my hand on the knob, I hear his voice and turn my head. “I love you, Jaden. I always have.” Trying to keep my tears at bay I nod and blow him a kiss with my other hand.

“I love you too, Daddy. I always have.” He turns his head to the TV, but I can tell he’s still crying.

I open the door, nod at mom who’s blubbering and walk straight into Knox’s arms. His hand immediately moves to hold the back of my head, his other one rubbing my back. He moves me into his side and leads me out of the building and to the car, helping me into the back seat and then following me in as I can’t see through my tears. We sit there and he just holds me quietly as I sob into his chest, and I can feel how wet I’m making his shirt. After what seems like forever I start hiccupping and sniffling and lean back a little, so I can see his beautiful and caring face. “Thank you for loving me, for putting up with my stubbornness and my crying like a baby.” He smiles and places his hand on my face, lovingly.

“Angel, I’ll always love you. My heart is yours forever. Nothing will ever tear us apart again. Know that, believe that and hold on to that.” I couldn’t love him anymore than what I already feel, and I believe with my whole heart and soul that nothing will ever tear us apart. Ever again.

About an hour later Mom appears at the car and Knox and I get out and take our places in the front seat while she gets in the back. She’s smiling and has dry eyes. I’m surprised. “Mom? Are you ok?” I ask as I turn my head to the back seat.