Touched By You (The Touch Series) (16 page)

“Chloe you were my first true love. And I’ll always love you. Maybe in time things will change and I hope that we will still be open to have each other in our lives. It’s just not good for either one of us to keep trying to make this work the way things are now. I’m going to book an earlier flight out for tomorrow morning. There’s no reason to prolong this week when we both know and feel things are not the same as they’ve been in the past. I love you Chloe and will forever.”

I let go of her hand and walk back into the extra bedroom. Closing the door I slam my back up against it and slide down to the floor. Tears pour from my eyes and my heart breaks into a million pieces. I never thought this day would come. We’ve just broken the strongest bond anyone could ever have. I know this is the best for both of us, but I just don’t know why it hurts so badly.

I pull out my phone and through tear blurred eyes I scroll to my flight app and book a plane back home to Boston.

Chloe insists she come to the airport with me. I know it’s not the best idea, but selfishly I say it’s okay. She walks me to security and I stop just before having to walk through the screening booth. I bring her in close to me and kiss her on top of her head. My hands run through her long dark hair and the smell of her mango shampoo sends thousands of memories through my mind. The last piece of my heart has just broke and tears pool in my eyes. I’m doing my best to hold myself together for her sake, but it really is pointless. My heart is now completely shattered and the love of my life is about to walk away from me for good.

I pull away from her and look into her eyes. She really is the most beautiful woman in the world and I’m so glad she was mine.

“Derrick, I love you so much.”

“I love you too Chloe”

I let go of her hands and walk up to the security check. Turning around I see her still standing there with her arms wrapped around her waist.

She wipes away her tears and she mouths “goodbye love”.

And then she turns and walks away.

As I walk back to my car the tears begin to flood my vision. Time away from one another is something we have dealt with for years, but taking time to be apart is something I never thought we would have to deal with. The realization of what just happened in the airport is kicking in…no longer are Derrick and I a couple…it’s over.

I just don’t understand how this all happened, we were always so happy. No matter how far apart we were from one another we always found a way to make us work. Now I feel like we have just given up on something that was so special to both of us.

I don’t know what I’m going to do.

While wiping away the tears I get into my car and pull out my phone. Hoping there would be some sort of message from Derrick, I sigh when my screen is blank. My whole life has been about me and Derrick and now I’m a hot fucking mess.

Without another thought I push send on the phone hoping the other line will pick up.

“I already heard.” She says before I can even get a word out.

“But how, I mean why, did he call you the minute I walked away from him?” I ask sobbing into the phone.

“Chloe you have to understand his side here too. I love you both so much, but it wasn’t easy for him when you chose NYU over Harvard or when you took the job in LA. I can’t imagine what it’s like to only see one another every other month or so. How long did you think this would go on before one of you decided to make a decision?”

“God damn it Char, can’t you be on my side here for once? My heart is breaking and you’re telling me you knew this would happen. Don’t you think I know that my choices are what pushed him away? Here I thought we were going to spend a great week together and all it turned out to be was a romantic goodbye.”

I can barely breathe let alone speak. It’s so hard to believe that today was the last time I would hold him, kiss him and tell him I love him.

“He’s the love of my life Char, how am I supposed to be okay with all of this?”

“I don’t know Chloe. All I can say is give it time, just like you told me a few months ago. If you two are meant to be you will find your way back together.”

“As insightful as you sound right now it doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“I know, keep yourself busy and focus on the reason you moved to LA.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks Char, I’ll call you later this week.”

The line goes dead, no I love you Chloe…be strong Chloe…nothing. She is totally on his side through this and that is exactly how it should be. I’m the one that did this to us. It was my decision to choose a career over the love of my life. Now I just have to deal with it and pretend like I am not nursing a broken heart.

The next few weeks fly by and I feel like I’m living in a daze. I put on my best face when I’m at work and in front of the camera, but it takes just about all I have through the day not to break down and call Derrick. I’ve kept in constant touch with Char and can’t believe she answers the phone when I call. She’s been helping me get through this, but I worry that my emotional state will make her refuse my contact soon. All I really know right now is that Derrick has drowned himself in some pretty big cases at work and goes out with Riley when he can. I’m happy he’s still living but it kills me that he’s surviving without me.

I need to pull my shit together somehow and either focus on my career or pack it all back up and move home. But I know I can’t do the latter choice, I’ve come too far in my career to give it all up.

The thing that sucks is that I finally landed the job of a lifetime, this is all I’ve ever wanted to do and staying here doing what I love cost me the one person in the world that matters more to me than anything.

The next few weeks at work are a big deal for me professionally. The freaking Super Bowl is coming up and I’ve been interviewing a rookie quarterback that will probably take his team all the way. I can’t screw this up, I have to get my head back on track, build a schedule and give ESPN all that I can.

I’m pulled out of my trance by a knock on my door. I look up and see my co-host Trent. With a professional smile I take in a deep breath and stand to walk his way.

“You okay Chloe? We’re on in a few minutes and I thought I should come and look for you. It’s not like you to be in the office ten minutes before we are live.”

“Yep I’m coming, umm, just wanted to check on some things before it was time. Guess I was in here longer than I expected. Thanks for coming to check on me.” I tell him refusing to make eye contact.

Trent has been one of the crew members that always seemed to be there when I started to get homesick. He too is far away from home and chose career over love so of course he knows what I’m going through. Wait no correction, what I was going through. I haven’t had it in me to share the news with my friends. I really don’t want to talk about it with anyone.

He puts his hand on the small of my back and guides me out the door and over to where our shoot takes place every day in the EPSN studio.

“You know a bunch of us are going out after work tonight if you want to come. I think it would be good for you to get out. You haven’t been the same since Derrick went back home.” He says taking his seat on the stage.

“We’ll see. I’m not really up for going out tonight.”

“Chloe Taylor, get your head out of your ass and come on out with us tonight.” A voice sounds from behind the green screen.

“When you put it like that Andrew, how can I refuse?” I tell him with a smile.

Andrew Lock is a rookie quarterback for the Allentown Colts and will be on our show again tonight. He’s been the prime time athlete on majority of shows for the past few months because of his strong ability to take his team to the Super Bowl in a few weeks.

“It’s not every week I’m in town and can spend a night out with my favorite sport’s analyst.” He says with a wink.

“Cool it Lock, you know Chloe is well spoken for back home. Lay off the pretty boy smirks.” Trent says moving to stand.

“Whoa boys settle down. Chloe isn’t going home with anyone tonight. It’s just drinks, relax Tarzan.” I say in Trent’s direction giving him the evil eye.

“Well word on the street says that Chloe isn’t spoken for anymore so I say we see how tonight goes and take it from there.” Andrew says looking right at me, my mouth gapped wide open.

“Chloe what the hell is going on and what does Lock know that I don’t?” Trent says sitting back down.

“Ugh never mind Trent, we are on in like 30 seconds.” I tell him while organizing my notes in front of me and placing my glass of water directly to my left.

Watching her walk away from security was like ripping out my heart.

This past week was painful in more ways than one and the feeling I had told me it was time to leave. After Charlie and Riley left on Saturday I thought for sure Chloe and I would be on cloud nine. We planned on spending a lot of time in the apartment so that no moment would be lost. The problem was that when we were alone something felt like it was missing or that we were forcing one another to do things that used to come so naturally to us. It got to the point that I couldn’t bare it any longer and I had to break the silence.

I told the only woman that I’ve ever loved that the distance from her was too hard to bear. Every spare moment I had I was obsessing about her and what she was doing. I hated that she had a life so far away from mine and I too was creating a life without her in it. It wasn’t like I wanted to see other people. She’s the only one I could ever love. I just can’t consume myself with a future we both know is not going to happen.