Toxic Secrets (32 page)

His tongue ran up along the inside of my thigh and he paused a second to inhale before placing a delicate kiss in my most intimate spot. His hands joined his mouth in sweet harmony. My most personal space was being explored. I froze with fear.
Was I ready for this? Had I started something I couldn’t finish?
I didn’t want to lead him on, but I couldn’t find the strength to stop him.

I was feeling things I had never felt before, and, as perfect as it felt, it was also scaring the hell out of me.

Trying to relax, I inhaled a couple of deep breaths. Jaxon didn’t acknowledge my stiffness as he continued exploring the warmth between my thighs. I gripped the soft sheets, fisting them tight when I felt Jaxon’s hot tongue and warm breath invade my sensitive spot. I began feeling the same odd sensations that took over me when Phillip and I last had sex. The sensation was exhilarating and explosive all rolled up into one big pleasurable ball. Jaxon continued a relentless rhythm, and I felt myself lose all self-control. Breathing erratically, my muscles began to spasm, and I was on the verge of combusting. As my body released the biggest display of fireworks, I let out an embarrassing moan

My body was numb. I couldn’t move.  I had never felt anything like that in my entire life, and I wondered how I had never experienced it before.

Jaxon released me, leaving feather-light kisses across my skin as he worked his way back up to the middle of my abdomen. He then lay down beside me, cradling me in his arms. He pressed a loving kiss to my temple and held me tight.

We laid there content with each other for what seemed like hours when Jaxon broke the silence. “You’re not mad at me are you?” he asked, propping up on one elbow and looking down at me.

I smiled at him. “Of course not. Why would you ask that?” I queried, my eyebrows drawn down.

“Well, it’s just… you’ve been quiet for a pretty long time now, and I don’t want you upset with me for what just happened or regretting any of it…” he trailed off. “Because I don’t,” he whispered, staring me down.

He still wanted me. It was plastered all over his face. I swallowed stiffly then let out a nervous giggle. “Jaxon, to be honest, I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say after all of that. I have never felt anything that wonderful in all my life,” I admitted. Reaching up, I placed my hand on his face and rubbed my thumb along the stubble below his cheek bone. “I think the world could’ve blown up and I wouldn’t have cared.” The joker smile on my face was beginning to feel permanent. Even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to wipe it away.

Jaxon displayed an expression as if he wanted to ask me something, but couldn’t get it to come out. And the throat sounds intensified.

“Just say it,” I demanded.

He pulled his lips in tight between his teeth before blurting out his query. “Are you a virgin?” He squinted and ducked to avoid an imaginary slap.

My eyes bulged out in shock. “Wow! You just get right to the point don’t you?”

“Well, it’s just that you don’t move like a virgin, but you threw me off the way you froze up on me when I… well… you know…”

My face burst into flames, I felt like I was on fire. I wanted to bury my head in Jaxon’s pillows.
Did he seriously just call me out on my sexual swag?
He must’ve found me the most inexperienced female he had ever played with.

“… and that’s why I stopped. Courtney, I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for. I’ll wait.” His expression was serious, all playfulness gone. “That is, if you give me the opportunity.” He didn’t come straight out and ask, but I understood the hidden question. He wanted to know if we’d continue whatever this was we were starting when I went back to North Carolina. I wanted to, I really did, but I didn’t know what my future held, so I avoided his comment. I didn’t want to commit to us until I positively knew it was a guarantee.

I pulled myself together, gaining control of my composure before taking the liberty of answering him. “If you must know, no, I’m not a virgin. But whatever that was you did with your mouth and the burst of hormones that took over my body was not something I’ve ever experienced before.”

Jaxon broke out into a boisterous laugh. The entire bed shook. It annoyed me that he was laughing at me, but his laugh was so cute and so rare that I found it contagious. Although I didn’t succumb to laughing with him, I did give into the smile that was forcing its way on my face.

Jaxon flopped onto me with his head buried in my neck, chuckling to himself. “I’m sorry, Sweet Cheeks. I’m not laughing at you, I promise. I’m laughing because you just had your very first orgasm, and you didn’t even know it.” He pulled me closer to him, squeezing me hard, but not so hard that it hurt.
How humiliating.

Groaning loudly in frustration, I felt like a first class idiot. All this time with Phillip, and he was cheating me in more ways than one.

Jaxon placed a small kiss behind my ear. “Don’t worry about it, Sweet Cheeks. It’s got to happen at some point in time. I feel pretty honored that I got to be that guy,” he smiled against my skin. “Is Phillip your one and only?” he asked, pulling up to rest on his elbows after placing them on both sides of my head. His body hovered over mine, he was always careful not to put any weight on me. His hands stroked my hair back away from my face.

“Yes.” It was all I could squeak out. He stared at me with so much passion before lowering his lips to mine. He knew just what to do with them. I didn’t have but one other person to compare him to, but I knew I didn’t need any other person. No one else could make me feel the way he did.

His hand slipped down to my hips, his thumb drew a circle around my hip bone when it dawned on me that I was still naked from the waist down. I had all my glory displayed for him to feast on. I jerked from the tickle and from the thoughts of still being fully exposed.

Jaxon leaned back, breaking our kiss. “What’s wrong?”

“Umm, that sort of tickles… and, umm… I’m half-naked,” I admitted shyly. I couldn’t tell him I wasn’t ready yet. I thought I was, but, as I lay here with him, I knew I couldn’t give myself over to him completely. I couldn’t take the chance of us possibly losing touch again after I left.

Jaxon’s lips curled up to the side of his face, giving me that crooked, one-dimpled grin I found so adorable. He stared down at me, waist down, embarrassing me even more. “I must say, I’m enjoying the scenery. That’s the most tantalizing, excuse my language, pussy I’ve ever tasted in my life,” he said, leisurely licking his lips. His eyes were hooded and glazed.

His words sent electricity through every nerve ending in my body. I could see the lust in his eyes and knew that he was ready for more, but I wasn’t ready yet to take that next step with him. He may have been telling me he could wait, but his body signals were screaming in protest. It was up to me to break him from his trance.

“Now you’re doing it to me,” I accused.

He blinked his eyes rapidly, focusing his attention back on my face.
Mission accomplished.

He pulled his eyebrows down, drawing a deep crease between his eyes. “What?”

“You’re staring,” I accused.

He kissed my forehead chastely then stood from the bed. “Well if you’re looking for an apology, you won’t get it from me. When I see beauty lying before me, I’m going to make a memory of it.” He picked up my thong and shorts from the foot of the bed and began putting them on for me. The gesture was sweet, but it was too awkward for me, so I quickly tugged them from his hands and did the job myself.

He stood against the edge of the bed, watching me keenly. Sighing, he said, “I can help you with that you know.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t taking a chance of him seducing me. I didn’t know if I could pass the test of self-restraint, especially after spotting a clear view of his erection pushing against his swimming trunks.
How did I not feel that when he was on the bed with me?

“It makes me uncomfortable, you know,” he said, playfully.

I snapped my eyes to his and away from his bulging trunks. “What does?”

“You openly gaping at me all the time,” he laughed, teasing me.

Reaching above my head for a pillow, I slung it as hard as I could at Jaxon’s chest. He caught it before it hit him. He was just about to throw it back at me when my phone rang. I tugged it out of my back pocket to answer.

“Where the hell are y’all at?” Kendra screamed into the phone. I pulled it away from my ear before she damaged my hearing. She was always so dang dramatic.

Raising my eyebrows at Jaxon, I silently asked if it was okay to tell her where we were, knowing he could hear from where he was. He nodded once.

“We are in Jaxon’s room. I think we’re about to go… swimming?”

Jaxon nodded again.

“Okay, well meet us at our room because Reed and I have no clue how to get around this crazy maze Jaxon calls a house.”

“Okay, we will.”

She hung up before I finished talking.

Rolling off the ginormous bed, I walked over to give Jaxon a quick hug and a peck on his cheek. “I can fix that problem you have in your shorts you know?”

Jaxon pushed me away. “Get out of here before I become so crippled I can’t walk,” he laughed.

I felt relieved. “If you insist,” I smiled. “I’m going back to my room now so I can put on my swimsuit. See you in a bit,” I beamed, walking out into the hallway.

“Good, while you do that, I’ll be relieving some tension I’ve been building up,” he chuckled followed with a wink. I darted to my room from embarrassment.

“If your bathing suit isn’t a G-string bikini, I’m buying you a new one,” he yelled out to me as I walked into my room.

As soon as the door closed behind me, I locked it and took a flying leap onto my bed, giggling in excitement. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I couldn’t believe how happy he made me feel. It was my very first day, and I already didn’t want to go home.

The next morning I woke up to what felt like someone playing with my hair. At first I thought it was just my imagination, but, as my senses woke up, I realized the movement was real. I didn’t want to move just in case it was some vicious cat or dog that I had not been introduced to yet. As I slowly opened my eyes, I was greeted with Jaxon’s, as blue as the sky on a clear day.

Jaxon beamed at me. “Good morning, Princess.”

The edges of my mouth curled up. I could wake up this way every morning for the rest of my life, and never get tired of the beautiful sight before me.

I placed my hand over my mouth to block my morning breath. “Princess? What happened to Sweet Cheeks?”

The sweet smell of mint swirled out of his mouth. “Princess suits you better when you’re sleeping. You look so serene, so graceful, and so pure. I could sit here and stare at you sleeping for hours.” The backside of his knuckles lightly stroked my cheek. He was staring at me without really looking at me. “You know sometimes it’s almost like you’re not real. I can see you, but not touch you.” It appeared as though his words had escaped him, that he was lost in a world a million miles away.

 “Jaxon, where are you?” I snapped my fingers in front of his face.

His eyes blinked rapidly as he arrived back into the here and now. He smiled from embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“Where did you go?” I cocked my head, curious as to where his mind had traveled to.

He leaned up to place a chaste kiss on my forehead before climbing off the bed. “Just to the kitchen. I brought you some milk, fresh fruit, bacon, and sourdough toast for breakfast. The bacon and toast are probably cold now, but I didn’t want to wake you when you were sleeping so soundly.” He picked up the tray of food from the dresser and strolled over to me, taking his sweet time.

It was plain to see that he was avoiding the question I was really asking. I decided to leave it alone for the time being, but sooner or later he was going to have to start opening up to me.

Scooting myself back in the bed, I stuffed the pillows behind me so I could lean comfortably against the headboard. “Looks great. Thanks.”

His lips turned up to one side, giving me that one dimpled grin I adored so much.

Jaxon sat the tray in front of me then bent down for a kiss. My hand shot up in front of my face blocking his lips before they reached mine. I shook my head. “Uh ah, no kissing until I’ve brushed my teeth,” I garbled through my hand.

“There is no way someone as sweet as you could turn sour by a little morning breath,” he laughed, “but have it your way.” He kissed the back of my hand instead. Quickly, I grabbed a piece of bacon and shoved it into my mouth to kill the rotten fumes before they could reach his nose. Jaxon shook his head, smiling hard at me and giving me both dimples.

Without hesitation, I gobbled up my breakfast under the scrutiny of Jaxon’s eyes. He not only liked to watch me sleep, he seemed to enjoy watching me eat, too.

I pushed the tray away from me. “So, what are the plans for today?” I asked. He plucked my napkin from my tray and swiped it along my chin, wiping up something I must have missed. The gesture was innocent, nothing out of the ordinary. Normally I would’ve been embarrassed for leaving traces of food on my face, but instead my heart skipped a beat from his nearness. The gentle way he touched me sent my chill bumps on guard. “Thanks,” I let out in a huff of air.