Toxic Secrets (5 page)

A sick feeling overcame me as soon as we left Kendra’s house. The anticipation of meeting this guy Jaxon was placing me on the verge of an anxiety attack. It didn’t matter if we were just doing the friends thing or not, it was just that I hadn’t interacted with a guy other than Phillip or Reed in several years. And Reed didn’t even count.

“Courtney, everything will be fine. Jaxon is a pretty cool, laid back guy.”

“Yeah, and exactly how many times have you actually talked to him?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she answered flippantly. “Anyway, we’re here now, so swallow those nerves, relax, and let’s have a good time,” she added with a cheerful smile.

Pulling up to the lake house, there were cars parked everywhere, causing us to have a hard time finding an empty spot that didn’t put us out in the woods.

I think it would be fair to say, considering our location, that we were pretty safe from the cops being called for any noise ordinance.

Stepping out of the car, I could hear the sounds of Usher playing from a stereo inside the house. There was nothing like a little booty-shaking on the dance floor to remedy my worries. Dancing was my favorite stress reliever.

I loved to dance, and, not to sound arrogant, I was good at it. Several years ago, mom paid for me to attend hip-hop dance lessons for a couple of years, but I had to quit due to a money shortage. It was long enough, though, to heighten my natural ability.

“You’re dancing with me tonight, right?” I asked Kendra as we approached the front door.

“Of course, but Jaxon may want to dance with you as well,” she replied with a suggestive smile.

“What if he doesn’t dance?”

Her smile broadened. “Then we will find someone that will.”

The music intensified times ten once we opened the door.

The house was beautiful inside; it was more of a log cabin than a house. Everything within was either made of wood or wrought iron, giving the place a rustic atmosphere. The living room had a high vaulted cathedral ceiling with a balcony above that extended to a patio leading outside.

There were people everywhere, and, almost instantly, I noticed a larger crowd gathered in what appeared to be the family room or entertainment room where everyone was dancing. It looked like they were watching a dance off.

I nearly jumped when I felt a cold hand grab my arm. I turned my head to see it was only Kendra. “I’m going to look around for Reed, he’s not answering my text,” she yelled over the loud music.

“Okay, I’ll be over here,” I said pointing to the crowd of people dancing.

Pushing myself through the crowd of gyrating bodies, I prayed no one spilled their beer on me. Even if we were just having a friendly date, spending the evening smelling like a keg wasn’t my idea of a stunning first impression.

After sliding through a few sweaty bodies, I found myself standing in front of the inner circle. There wasn’t a dance off taking place. Instead, three guys were performing a little dance routine. Two of them were a couple of my old classmates, but the other one I didn’t recognize. Whoever he was, he was hot as hell and seemed to be the one drawing all the attention.

He was good. Actually, he was better than good. He was a better dancer than any contestant I had ever seen perform on
So You Think You Can Dance
. Wearing a black, tight-fitting shirt, distressed jeans that hung low on his hips, and black Vans, he screamed sexy. His hair was raven black, spiked up to a peak on top. He had large diamond stud earrings in his petite ears and was sporting a little stubble on his face. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make out the rest of his facial features in the dim lights.

Mesmerized by his dancing skills—well, that and his muscular physique—I wished that I had never agreed to go on the stupid double date. I wanted to focus my time on this hot guy.

“Hey, I found Reed,” I heard Kendra say behind me.

“Yeah? Well I found sex on a stick. Come here and watch him dance,” I said pulling her to stand beside me. Kendra started giggling.

“Who is he? He sort of looks familiar.” I questioned.

“That is Jaxon, your date tonight,” Reed said with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Holy shit, I was in trouble.

Chapter 5 ~ You Make Me Wanna

Kendra shoved me forcefully away from her car. “Get your big ass back inside now,” she grunted.

“My big ass is going to kick your little ass if you don’t get off of me,” I snorted, keeping my feet planted firmly.

My nerves had gotten the best of me. I had taken off running out of the house when I found out the guy I was drooling over was my date for the night. Kendra immediately came running after me, trying to convince me to go back inside. We’d been battling for the past fifteen minutes over why I thought she should take me home and why she thought I should stay.

“Hahaha,” she said sarcastically. “Yeah, well, if we’re going to fight, let’s at least find some mud so we can make it worth watching.”

I busted out laughing and nearly fell, losing my balance from Kendra pushing on me. Using quick reflexes, Kendra grasped my shoulders, steadying me so I didn’t land with my face in the dirt.

“Thanks for catching me, but you should’ve let me fall. Then I would have a perfect excuse to go home.”

All the humor left Kendra’s face.

“Courtney, I’m being serious now. You’re really starting to fucking piss me off. You’re acting irrational, and I don’t understand why.” She turned to take a couple of steps toward the house when she turned around and walked back to me. “I’m not babying your ass anymore. You know what? Just sit out here and be miserable in the cold. I’m going inside to have a good time. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

She stomped back to the house, stopping in front of the steps to the porch. She again spun around to face me.

“I hope that fucking Jason guy in a mask comes looking for you!” she shrieked. She walked up the steps, turned around again before opening the door. “And I hope you freeze your fat ass off too!” she yelled even louder.

My ass must have been the target that night. That was twice in a five-minute-span she referred to my butt being large. I happened to be proud of my plump derriere.

Scanning the perimeter, I wanted to make sure there were no witnesses to our quarrel, and I secretly checked for any Jason-like characters roaming the edge of the woods. I blew out a breath of relief to find myself alone. Although I didn’t want to go back inside, I had to. For one, my jacket was in there and I was out here freezing. Two, Kendra was mad at me, and I would feel guilty if I ruined this double date she had worked so hard to achieve. Third, and most important, I needed to face my fears. Without a doubt, I was going to meet guys at some point in time, so I figured I might as well start with one that I was positive would not become a permanent fixture in my life.

Oh, how I wished I could pump confidence into my veins. I needed an IV hook-up. Being socially awkward painfully sucked.

Taking several deep breaths, I shook my hands by my sides, as if to shake the jitters off of them, and kept repeating the mantra in my head.
Balls to the Walls.

Nothing could deflect me as I found myself in the zone. I fell into the beat of ‘Birthday Cake’ by Rihanna, closing my eyes and letting my body feel the music.

When I walked back into the house, I hadn’t seen Kendra, Reed, or Jaxon anywhere. I didn’t exactly go looking for them either. I knew dancing was the best way for me to loosen up, so, after glancing over the bopping heads and seeing no sign of their presence, I joined the cluster of bodies. The DJ switched the music from one song to the next, giving no hesitation in between. I danced as he pumped Calvin Harris, Kanye, Ke$ha, and Nicki Minaj through the speakers for a good half hour or so; however, I was really ready for a beverage break.

As I navigated through the house to the patio outside, I was greeted with a few “hey’s” and hugs from my old classmates. After getting harassed a bit over switching schools, I received several congratulations for “dumping the jerk,” as they had put it. It felt good to be with the familiar faces that I shared twelve years of my life with. The weather had been unseasonably warm lately, but the night temperature continued to drop down into the high thirties. As I stepped out onto the patio, I felt the sweat on my body chill like ice crystals on my skin. It felt great.

Kendra, Reed, and Jaxon were still MIA, and I felt a brief surge of panic shoot through my heart, fearing they had left me there alone. I reasoned with myself, though, knowing Kendra would never abandon me at a place like this.

All the kegs and coolers were stationed on the patio. I guess they figured it was wiser to leave them out in the cold night air. I rummaged through the standing cooler, looking similar to a dumpster diver, trying to find something non-alcoholic, preferably water, but there only seemed to be bottles of beer and wine coolers. I’d only had beer once, and I’d decided it was something I couldn’t acquire a taste for. I was too thirsty to guzzle any wine, and, if I did, the night would end quickly with my low alcohol tolerance level.

My arm started to ache down to the bone from digging in the cold ice, forcing me to stop a moment and let the blood flow warm up my hand.

“Geez! Is it that hard to find water around here?” I mumbled to myself, getting more and more flustered by the minute.

“You can have mine,” I heard a voice say as a bottle of water appeared in front of my face, the bottle attached to a thickly veined hand and muscled forearm.

My eyes slowly trailed up to see what else was attached to that muscular arm. The first thing to catch my eye was the well-defined abdomen with ridges that made the black fitted shirt seem almost transparent. I then noticed something faintly protruding through his shirt where his nipples were located. Were his nipples pierced?
Whoa!
The strong angular jaw with a five o’clock shadow came into view next. Lazily, my eyes reached the deepest set of dimples, brought out by a playful, sexy smile. He had kissable lips revealing the utmost beautiful set of straight, white teeth. My focus then locked onto the most iridescent ice-blue eyes, a color that could only be obtained by wearing colored contacts.
No freakin’ way!
Not only was this the guy I was gawking at on the dance floor, he was also the same guy I had drooled over Thanksgiving night at the theater.

My heart rapidly picked up the pace. I could feel my pulse throbbing in my head; the onslaught of dizziness.
Please, Lord… do not let me pass out.

“I promise, I don’t have… cooties,” he chuckled lightly.

My eyes were glued to his, and, if I spoke out loud, I’m sure it would come out sounding something like “Nom, nom, nom.”
Yes, he was that delicious.

“Courtney… your name is Courtney right?” He eyed me suspiciously.

I zoned out, in such a trance staring at his godliness, I hadn’t taken notice of his deep, raspy voice with a slight accent that told me he wasn’t from around here.

Say something, Court, so he didn’t think you were a freak.

“Er, uh… yes, yes it is,” I eyed him curiously. “How do you know my name?”

“Reed and Kendra pointed you out to me earlier.”

I could feel confidence oozing out of his pores. I still couldn’t pull my eyes away from his, they were simply breathtaking. In the middle of our staring contest, I searched his eyes for a thin line around the iris. Nope, not a trace of contacts. They must be real.

“I’ve been looking for them,” I mumbled.
Not really.
“Do you know where they went?” I hoped he couldn’t hear the nervous tension wiggling in my voice box.

“Last I saw, they were on the dance floor.”

Striking up conversations with a complete stranger, a painstakingly attractive stranger, was not my forte. I was lost for words.

“So… about the water…” He gestured his water to me again.

Flexing my fingers behind my back, I tried to get a bit of feeling to return before I reached for the water. I couldn’t allow him to see my hands tremble.

 ”Oh, uh, sure,” I took the water, making sure our hands didn’t touch.

As if he knew I purposely avoided contact, he stuck his hand out to me. “By the way, I’m Jaxon, your blind date for the night.”

His gaze held my eyes with dominance. His lingering smile made me wonder if he could sense how uncomfortable he was making me.

Reaching out to shake his hand, I welcomed the warmth that pulsed into mine. He held onto my hand a little longer than deemed necessary before he let go.

“Well, now that we’ve got the introductions out of the way, would you like to dance?”

“Sure,” I squeaked.

“Do you want to finish your water first?”

I had forgotten the water in my hand. I wasn’t even thirsty anymore, but, after remembering where it came from, I suddenly had a dire need to put my lips where his had previously been.

Tipping the bottle up, I turned my back to him so he couldn’t watch me. The water was cool and refreshing to my parched throat.

“Here, I’ll take that for you,” Jaxon said.