Authors: Brenda Stokes Lee
Our
eyes
locked
as
it
slipped
without
warning
inside
me.
It
felt
deliciously
hot
and
wet
and
I
couldn't
deny
that
I
liked
and
wanted.
Condoms
had
always
been
a
given,
no
ifs,
ands,
or
buts
about
it,
until
this
very
second.
“
Is
it
okay?
”
Logic
asked
as
he
slowly
pulled
out
and
prepared
for
another
stroke,
or
dismount.
It
was
strictly
my
call.
“
Yes,
yes
yes!
”
I
nodded
as
I
anxiously
waited
for
him
to
fill
me
with
his
smoldering
hot
steel
pipe
again
and
again.
“
Fuck
this
feels
so
right.
”
He
groaned
as
we
slowly
bumped
and
grind
hard
against
each
other,
raw
and
completely
natural
for
the
very
first
time.
The
sex
this
time
was
wonderfully
magic.
My
emotions
and
senses
were
all
over
the
place,
just
like
Logic's
hands.
Those
long
thick
fingers
of
his
were
giving
my
clit
hell,
while
his
other
hand
massaged
my
swollen
breast.
His
hands
played
me
like
a
musical
instrument
and
I
loved
it.
Now
never,
ever,
ever
had
I
trusted
a
man
to
enter
me
without
a
condom.
Still
tonight,
I
trusted
Logic.
Actually,
I
knew
I
could
trust
him.
Logic
Hart
was
as
healthy
as
a
race
horse.
I
saw
his
health
records
and
the
results
of
his
last
mandatory
blood
screen
run
by
his
life
insurance
carrier.
Yes
the
sex
this
time
was
just
shy
of
magnificent.
Why
wouldn't
it
feel
incredible?
We
were
two
young
people
who
had
just
proclaimed
their
love
for
each
other.
At
that
very
second
I
realized
that
Logic
was
right.
Sex
is
ten
times
better
when
you
are
in
love.
I
didn't
believe
it
when
he
said
it the night that we met,
but
now
I
know
that
it
is
true.
“
I
fuckin
love
this
and
I
love
you.
”
I
heard
myself
scream
prior
to
losing
all
control.
Water
splashed
everywhere
as
Logic
grabbed
me
by
my
waist
and
lifted
my
body
up
slamming
it
down
on
his
hard
dick
repeatedly
as
he
released
ten
strokes
after
me.
Screaming
in
pleasure
and
sweet
pain
I
wrapped
my
legs
around
his
waist
and
clung
to
him
as
if
he
was
an
unexpected
life
preserver
in
the
middle
of
the
ocean.
His
body
trembled
and
convulsed
from
his
orgasm
as
I
held
him
tight
in
my
arms.
At
that
very
moment
the
two
of
us
became
one
as
we
embrace
d
each
other
in
silence
pondering
our
fate.
Now
even
though
Logic
had
an
incredible
season
the
Nevada
Kings
were
in
the
Play
Offs,
but
they
did
not
make
it
to
the
Super
Bowl.
Naturally
Logic
was
a
little
down,
well
until
he
realized
that
his
season
was
finally
over
and
he
could
spend
more
time
with
me.
Absolutely
nothing
had
changed.
I
jumped
on
him
every
morning
and
he
tried
to
break
my
damn
back
every
night.
We
were
a
perfect
couple
in
and
out
of
bed. We were so perfect that I completely forgot that I had not properly and officially ended my Friends with Benefits arrangement with my former lovers Tyson and Jamar.
You would think that a man who was obviously only in it for a fuck would quickly get the hint when you refuse to return any of his calls. It should be obvious that I don't want to fuck, so leave me the fuck alone. Still this sea monkey continues to blow up my phone, email and Facebook page as if the world was about to end. Things had gotten so bad I had to seriously consider canceling my Facebook account, changing my email address and getting another phone. Unfortunately, I waited a little too late.
Logic and I were about to get into some serious Grown Folks' shit that is probably illegal in at least ten states and
Puerto
Rico when my phone beeped that I had a text. Naturally, I ignored it and continued to enjoy Logic's slow hand screw,
but it
kept beeping making it real difficult for either of us to concentrate. Finally frustrated and a tad bit pissed, Logic picks my phone up from the nightstand and looks at the message.
Normally, I would lose my damn mind if a man fucked with my phone, but I allowed it. I was not about to lose a man like Logic over a damn phone, so I chilled.
“Just turn it off.” I said.
“Why it's just going to start again when you turn it back on.” He replied irritated. “Toy you need to deal with that.”
“With what?” I asked confused. “Who is it?”
“Uh... apparently, it's Mr. Big Dick for the tenth fuckin time today.”
Caught completely off guard I had to laugh. “See that's what you get for checking my messages. Give me my phone.”
“You think this shit is funny? It's not funny Zatoya. I'm sick of this fuckin phone.”
I carefully examined Logic for the real source of his irritation and it was obvious that he was jealous. “Look, you're right. I'll take care of it. There's nothing going on... You know that right?” I asked as I tried to caress his back, but to my surprise Logic pulled away.
“I don't know what I know anymore.” He mumbled as he got up and headed for the bathroom. “I'm going to the gym.”
“Logic I'm sorry. I'll take care of it.” I offered.
Now, I'm not really sure if he did not hear me or just chose to ignore me, but Logic did not offer a response. He simply went in the bathroom and slammed the door. It was official, he was fuckin pissed. In retrospect I must admit that he had every right to be upset. I should have handled this ghetto nigga's ass months ago.
Angry, sexually frustrated and sick of his bullshit I texted Jamar. “Stop bothering me. We are done. Have a good life.” I callously typed.
“Toy I need to talk to you, please pick up your phone.” He quickly responded just as Logic came out of the bathroom and set at the foot of the bed staring at the wall.
“Why haven't you ended it with those two niggas? I don't get it. I'm not enough for you Toy?”
“Baby of course you are.” I responded as I crawled to the foot of the massive king size bed and tried to hug him.
“Don't ...” Logic warned as he peeled me off of him.
“I thought they'd eventually just get the hint. I'll call both of them while you're gone and let them know it's over.”
“Yeah you could do that, or you could call Mr. Big Dick
right
now and let him know that I'm the only big dick in your life.”
“Okay, I can do that, but I just don't understand why you're so pissed.”
“Zatoya, your phone has been going off
nonstop
since I met you. Well, except when your ass was stranded in West Virginia on Christmas Eve.”
“That's not even fair Logic. Have you ever once,
seen
me pick that damn phone up to respond to one of those calls? This is bullshit Logic. I love you and you know it. You're actually going to get pissed at me over a phone... What the fuck's really up?
”
Logic didn't answer.
“Never mind. It doesn't even matter.” I concluded as I dialed Jamar's number.
“Hey what's going on?”
“Where the fuck have you been Toy? I've been calling you since Christmas.”
“Probably still in West Fuckin Virginia where the fuck you left me!”
I snorted. I had officially fuckin had it.
“You still mad about that bullshit? Come on Toy... I thought you were bigger than that. I apologized, what else do you want me to do? Uh?”
“Jamar, just leave me alone, that's what I want you to do. Nothing more and nothing less... Just leave me alone. I'm in love with someone and whatever was going on between the two of us is officially done. So, please stop calling and texting me.”
“In love with who... that white boy? Please... Whatever, you don't know nobody like me.” Jamar laughed. “You know you miss this rock hard dick. Let's get together to night so I can show you how much it misses you.”
“Jamar, I have a man! I'm in love. His dick is at least two inches bigger and thicker than yours and he's a fuckin millionaire. So stop calling me,
damn it
!”
“Yeah what the fuck ever. Who's this nigga?”
“
Since you must know, h
e's Logic Hart of the Nevada Kings. That's who he is. Okay?”
Jamar started laughing uncontrollably. “Oh shit. Logic Hart... You fuckin had me there for a second. That's funny as hell.”
“What's so funny? What you don't believe me?”
“Hell no... That's some funny shit though. That nigga's somewhere in Vegas rolling in about ninety million dollars worth of dough and at least six bitches.”
“Actually, he's in Baltimore. And until you called with your monkey ass shit he was about to roll in between my legs. I'm not playing stop fucking calling me.”
“Yeah okay. Whatever Toy. I just called to see if you'd do my taxes again this year.”
“Bitch what did I just say? My man's worth over a hundred million dollars! I don't even work anymore, but you think I'm going to do your damn taxes. No, nigga! No!”
There was a long pause. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, I'm serious. So, stop fuckin calling me.”
“No I mean, you're not going to do my taxes?”
“Oh my God!” I screamed.
“
Nigga, you're not listening.
”
Logic who had heard enough held his hand out for the phone. I threw up my hands in surrender and gave it to him, but not before putting it on speaker phone.
“Hey what's up man?”
“Who the fuck is this?” Jamar asked surprised.
“Apparently, Toy's new Toy.”
“Is this Logic Hart?”
“Yeah.”
“Bullshit nigga! Logic’s my favorite Running Back. You may can fool Zatoya, but you can’t fool me. I know every fuckin thing there is to know about Logic Hart. You done fucked up now playa!”
“So what do you want to know?”
“You graduated from CBC, right?”
“No I graduated from FDC.”
“Okay that was an easy one. My grandma could answer that one.”
Amused Logic laughed. “So what else you got?”
“Who signed the FDC Quarterback the year that you were drafted? I bet you can’t answer that with your wannabe fake ass.”
“No one. His name was Paul Crown and he was a very good friend of mine. Paul was gunned down and murder before the draft. He never was signed, but it was rumored that the Dallas Cowboys had hopes of signing him.”
“Oh shit!
It is you.
What's up nigga?”
“Not much?”
“I can't believe it's you. So what are you doing in the area? Don't tell me they're trading your ass to the Red Skins, or the Ravens and shit?”
Logic laughed, “Hell no! Ain't no bullshit like that going down. I'm from Baltimore.”
“Yeah, I think I read that shit somewhere. So what are you doing with Toy?”
“Actually I'm feeling Toy in a really big way. She's my girl now. So much respect to you and yours, but I need you to find somebody else to call. You're disrupting my flow.”
Jamar was silent for awhile. “Alright I can do that if that's what Toy really wants. She's a good
person;
I just want her to be happy. Just take good care of her. Okay?”
“I'll do that.”
“Oh yeah... One more thing Logic.”
“Yeah what's that?”
“If you hurt Toy, in any way, mentally, physically or emotionally... I'm coming to Vegas to break my two dollar foot off in your hundred million
dollars fuckin
ass. You can believe that shit! Alright? I've been to
jail;
it's not a problem to go back.”
Logic chuckled, “Yeah I feel you. Don't worry that's not going to happen.” Logic assured him as he pulled me into his lap and hugged me tight, before kissing my frontal lobe.
“Good. So can you hook me up with an autograph or what?”
“Sure, I'll send you an autographed jersey and a football.”
“Thanks. That's what's up!”
“No problem.”
“Hey, put Toy back on for me.”
“Sure.”
“Yeah, I'm here.”
“On the real Toy. I loved you, no matter what you thought or what you felt. It's just that you made it painfully clear that what we had was all that you wanted. So I took what you offered and supplemented the rest. Now, I wished I had pressed a little harder for what I wanted. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“I appreciate everything that you did for me and my kids. You're a good woman. You deserve to be happy. I hope it works out for you.”
“Thanks.”
“Alright... well I guess this is it.” Jamar sighed.
“Yeah, I guess so. Take care of those beautiful children. Okay?”
“Will do. Yeah make sure that nigga Logic sends my shit. I still can't believe it. When did you meet him?”
“I met him on Christmas Eve when I was stranded in West Virginia. He rescued me and got me back home safely.”
“Word? Toy I'm sorry I couldn't come for you that night. You know that I would have been there if I could.”
“Yeah, I know. Don't worry about it. It worked out.”
“I guess everything happens for a reason.” He nervously chuckled. “Wow that's some wild ass shit.”
“Yeah I guess so.” I conceded.
“Look, I love
you;
you know that right, Toy? Just in case there was ever any doubt.”
“I know, and I love you too. Look, I have to go.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Take
care of
yourself Jamar.” I said as I hung up the line with countless, unexpected, mixed emotions.
Logic could see that I was a little disturbed by what Jamar said. Still, he said nothing. He simply held me tight as I wiped a lone tear from the corner of my eye.
I never realized
that my
independent spirit and guarded demeanor was the reason that my relationship with Jamar never moved out of the
friend’s
zone. Really, I didn't want more from Jamar, probably because I realized that I deserved better. Jamar was what you would call an Under Dog. He was an under achiever who was under educated, under employed, under paid and under the control of his stupid ass big dick. He could no more fit in my world than I could fit in his. But behind closed doors and beneath my Egyptian cotton sheets, we were equally matched and perfectly suited to completely satisfy each other. And sadly, that was enough for me at the time.