Trading Secrets (3 page)

“Do you want another drink?” Matt asked as the music faded. He moved Sabrina off the dance floor with what seemed suspiciously like a sense of relief. She guessed he wasn’t particularly fond of dancing. It was gracious of him to indulge her.

“No. I think I’ve had enough.” She was feeling pleasantly high, a little nervous but also rather excited. “Would you care to take a walk through the gardens?”

He shrugged but his arm closed around her shoulders and he led her out into the heavily landscaped grounds of the hotel. Moonlight gleamed on the bay, and the lights of a cruise ship anchored in the harbor sparkled brilliantly; an exotic string of jewels floating on velvet. Matt’s arm felt warm and heavy around her and Sabrina leaned languidly against his side. He was hard and strong. The flat planes of his thigh were un-yielding. She wanted to let herself glide over that hardness, feel the thrust of it against her.

“Picturing me in a saddle and bridle?”

“Never.” She laughed. Deliberately Sabrina came to a stop and turned in the circle of his arm. Their eyes met in the moonlight, and she refused to reconsider her plans. Slowly she lifted her arms to his shoulders, her fingertips finding the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

“Matt?”

“You want me, don’t you?” he breathed.

“Yes.” It was the truth and it was clear in her eyes. “Do you want me?”

“I’d be a fool to turn you down, wouldn’t I? Oh, yes, Sabrina. I want you.” He lowered his head when she used her fingertips on the juncture of his shoulders. “You’re so sure you know what you want?”

“Tonight I’m very sure,” she whispered, parting her lips for his kiss.

It wasn’t quite the sort of kiss she had been anticipating. There was no experimental sampling, no curious, delicate exploration. There was no gentleness. But there was power and a mounting passion that was infinitely exciting. Sabrina gave herself up to it after the first uncertain seconds, and Matt’s arms went solidly around her waist. It didn’t last long. She had barely begun to accommodate her lips to the overwhelming intimacy of his when he broke the caress.

“Your room?”

So soon? she wondered. Shouldn’t they linger a bit in the moonlight? Shouldn’t they take a midnight walk along the beach or something? Whisper soft, provocative words? Voices from nearby drifted through the shadows and suddenly Sabrina realized why Matt wanted to take her somewhere else. There was no real privacy here.

“Upstairs,” she answered, nodding, and allowed him to lead her back inside the hotel.

In the elevator she didn’t quite know what to say, and she assumed Matt’s silence meant he was just as lost for words. But when she mutely handed him the key to her door, he took it and shoved it grimly into the lock. She stepped inside ahead of him and he closed the door with a final-sounding clunk.

“Is reality living up to your expectations?” he whispered roughly as he caught her chin between scarred fingers and lifted her face. The only illumination in the room was from the moonlight filtering in through the open sliding glass doors.

“I think so,” she whispered with a tremulous smile. “Do you really want to be with me, Matt?” A frisson of uncertainty urged her to be sure of his mood and his passion.

“Let me show you how much.” His hand slid deliberately down her breast to the shocking-pink sash at her waist. He loosened the fabric quickly, and when it fell to the floor he found the fastening of the dress. The garment was pulled down over her shoulders and sent to the floor with a quick movement that made Sabrina step backward anxiously.

“Matt?”

“Come here, Sabrina,” he murmured. “Let me touch you.”

She drew in a long breath and then stepped close again. As soon as his palms fitted themselves to the curves of her breasts, she relaxed against him. Eyes closed, she leaned her head on his shoulder and prepared to enjoy the thrilling roughness of the pads of his fingers. They flickered over her nipples, sending the most excruciatingly delightful shivers through her. Later she would have to ask him how he’d come by such odd little scars. But for the moment … Sabrina made a small sound in the back of her throat. She felt his hands falter for a second, then tremble slightly.

The knowledge that he was both a bit uncertain and yet trembling with his own leashed passion was deliciously satisfying. Sabrina found the buttons of the carefully pressed and starched white shirt and began undoing them. Her own fingers were far from steady, she realized vaguely.

“Your breasts just fit my hands,” Matt whispered wonderingly. “You really do want what’s going to happen tonight, don’t you?” he said, feeling her nipples harden beneath his fingertips.

“Oh, yes, Matt. Yes, please …” Her voice was a choked sigh of excitement and longing. Beneath his touch her body felt warmed and beautiful. “Your hands feel so good. I’ve never felt hands like them before in my life.” She pushed off the white shirt, baring his chest to her sight and touch.

“Do you like what you see, Sabrina?” He caught one of her drifting palms and pushed it firmly against the cloud of dark chest hair that tapered down to the waistband of his slacks.

“I … Yes. Matt, you’re beautiful,” she murmured and then couldn’t resist brushing her lips over the flat, masculine nipples.

“And you’re soft and vibrant and very, very hot, aren’t you, honey?”

She ignored the faint hard edge of his words. He was aroused, and that was excuse enough for the roughness she thought she detected. Men weren’t at their verbal best when their bodies and instincts were focusing on sex. With gentle invitation in her eyes she lifted her face for his kiss.

His mouth came down on hers abruptly as if he could barely wait for her, and Sabrina tried to break the contact long enough to urge him not to rush matters. After all, they had all night. Five whole days, in fact. Hours and hours in which to get to know each other physically and mentally. And it had been so long for her that Sabrina knew she needed time tonight. Old habits and manners died hard. Her body had a long way to go before it would be fully aroused. The promise of that potential arousal was thick in the air around her, though, and she made no protest when Matt lifted her suddenly and carried her toward the bed.

He set her down on it and stood staring at her moonlit body. Only the triangle of satin and lace at the joining of her thighs remained in the way of clothing. Matt flattened his hand intimately on her stomach and then pushed his fingers under the scrap of underwear. His touch was rougher than Sabrina expected as he stripped the panties down her legs. He straightened again and as his hooded gaze swept her Sabrina felt a disturbing chill.

“What is it, Matt?” She suddenly felt very vulnerable.

“Nothing.” He unfastened the belt at his waist. Then he sat down on the bed and tugged off the low-cut boots he was wearing. They hit the floor with a thud. He rose and unzipped the slacks, stepping out of them and his briefs.

Sabrina watched him walk three paces to the chair and lay the clothing neatly over the back with military precision. When he turned to her, she shifted uneasily at the sight of his fiercely aroused nakedness. Then the leather sheath strapped to his calf caught her eye.

“What’s that?” she demanded, sitting up and unconsciously wriggling so that she was partially covered by the sheet. Her sense of vulnerability sharpened abruptly.

“What does it look like?” he asked mildly. He planted his foot on top of the bed and bent over to release the clasp of the sheath with a flick of his fingers.

“A knife.” Sabrina stared at the object in his hand. What kind of bizarre situation had she gotten herself into? she wondered on an incipient note of hysteria.

“
Ummm
.” Noncommittally he slid into bed beside her and she saw him put the sheath down on the floor.

“Do you, uh, always keep it within reach? Even at times like this?” It was a relief to have the weapon out of sight. The casual way he handled it caused her to relax a little.

“Especially at times like this.” He reached for her, drawing her urgently into his arms, and Sabrina forgot about the knife as she realized how hard and taut his body was.

Her nails dug into his sleek shoulder as she tried awkwardly to push the heavy weight of his thighs a short distance away from hers. Perhaps he didn’t understand, she thought. Maybe it had been a long time since he’d been with a woman. Whatever the reason for his urgency, she needed to explain that she herself wasn’t quite ready.

“Matt, please, let’s not rush,” she begged throatily. Her eyes shimmered with anticipation even as her body began to resist the pressure of his. “I … I need a little time. It’s been so long since … Never mind. Let’s slow down. I want everything to be perfect tonight. My birthday, remember?”

“Perfect?” he bent his head to find the curve of her throat. “I feel fine, honey. Just fine. Believe me, as far as I’m concerned, everything’s perfect.”

“It’s just that I don’t want, that is, I’m not quite ready,” she tried to say, only to have the words cut off as he moved his mouth from her throat to her lips. She felt herself being crushed back into the pillows as he tangled his heavy leg between her thighs. Then she shivered as his hand slipped down her breasts to the small curve of her stomach. Sabrina’s breath came more quickly as excitement began to flare again within her.

“You’ve got a lot to tease a man with, Sabrina, honey. There’s something tantalizing about this soft, sleek little body. Reminds me of a cat. You won’t have any trouble finding men to take you up on your midnight offers. All you’ll have to do is walk up to them in a bar the way you did tonight.”

“Matt, wait, I told you I need time!” She was suddenly very conscious of the whiskey on his breath. Sabrina wondered how many drinks he’d had before she’d ambled into the bar and found him there.

“Honey, there’s something you should know about picking up strangers. They’re not always inclined to play the part of elegant gentlemen lovers. Why should they? They’ll never see you again. Why shouldn’t they take what they want?”

“Stop it, Matt, you’ll ruin everything,” she begged, shutting her eyes against the unnatural glitter in his gaze. Why was he doing this? She had been so sure he was the right man; had been so certain his gruffness was simply a function of his basically straightforward personality. Normally her instincts about people were sound. But it was becoming very clear that the romantic interlude she had counted on was rapidly turning into a disaster.

“This is what you wanted, Sabrina. You wanted a man for the night. Well, this is how it works in real life. It’s no moonlit fantasy. Just sex, pure and simple, and it’s all a strange man in a bar is going to want from you. Now stop nagging and play your part. Spread your legs, baby, and give me what you’ve been promising all evening.”

Her eyes
slitted
open as he used his knee to force apart her thighs. For the first time real panic set in.

“Get off of me,” she hissed. “Stop it, do you hear me? Get off of me right now!”

“Why should I? You can hardly call it rape. You told me more than once tonight that you want me. So take me!”

Sabrina’s lips opened in shock as she felt his hardness thrusting between her legs. “Damn it, no!” She pushed at him frantically.

He shut off the cry of protest by overwhelming her mouth with his plunging tongue. In the next instant Sabrina knew he would be forcing his way inside her and she would be helpless. Desperately she snapped her teeth around his tongue and doubled her hands into fists. She slammed at him with all her might.

“Goddamn it, lady, this is what you wanted!” he bit out savagely as he hurriedly withdrew from her mouth. “You said you wanted it!”

“Not like this! Damn you!” She raked his sides with her nails. “Get away from me!” She managed to twist her body so that she could get her knee free, and when she tried to bring it forcibly up toward his crotch, Matt seemed to realize she was going to fight to the bitter end.

“Damn it to hell,” he muttered, fending off her knee. “You vicious little—!” He muttered an exclamation of disgust and outrage and lifted himself away from her completely. Rolling over onto his back, he threw one arm over his eyes, and took a deep breath.

Sabrina lay very still for a moment, violently aware of what had almost happened. She fought for breath and some comprehension of the situation.

“You must hate me,” she whispered finally, sitting up shakily and sliding off her side of the bed. “What have I ever done to you that you should want to treat me like this? You don’t even know me.”

“No.” The single word was a muffled curse. Matt didn’t lift his arm from his eyes. His chest still heaved with the effort he was exerting to regain control of himself. He didn’t move as she got to her feet beside the bed.

She was conscious of an ache in the strained muscles of her inner thighs as she slowly calmed herself. Awkwardly she found her way to the closet and pulled out the light robe she had brought with her for the trip. Fingers trembling, she knotted it tightly around her waist and then walked unevenly to the open window and filled her lungs with deep, steadying breaths.

“Oh, Christ, Sabrina. I’m sorry.” The words were flat, without any inflection.

It took Sabrina a moment to find her own voice. “Do you mind telling me why?” she asked. Her eyes remained focused unseeingly on the lights of the cruise ship.

“It’s a long story. It’s got nothing to do with you.”

“I think that’s debatable.” Her whole body felt used and he had the nerve to tell her his actions had nothing to do with her? A slow rage finally began to burn away some of the numbness she had been feeling since she had arisen from the bed.

“Look, let’s just write it off to one too many whiskeys, okay?”

“Too much alcohol?” she replied sharply, aware that he was sitting up slowly. She didn’t turn around. “I’m expected to excuse near rape because you’ve had too much to drink?”

“Sabrina,” he muttered, “it’s complicated. I can’t even explain it all myself tonight. It’s late, I’ve had too much to drink, and I—”

“And let’s not forget your hard day,” she reminded him too sweetly.