Training the SECRET (Corrigan & Co #6) (21 page)

I can’t talk to him,
or see him. He had no right to keep what Nate did from me. I know he
was doing it to protect me, and making peace with Nate was what he
did to make me happy. But I don’t feel protected or happy. I feel
betrayed and sadder than I’ve ever been in my life.

I also can’t talk to
Ellie. She says she knows why Nate did what he did all those years
ago, and she thinks I’ll understand. He tried to kill my father.
There is nothing more I need to know, and I don’t get why she’s
pushing this so hard. Other than the fact that Aiden’s been trying
to talk to me, too, and she’s in love with him. She’s still
supposed to be my best friend first.

I did let her tell me
that he’s alive, and safe. I needed to know that for my own sanity.
I don’t blame myself for the fact that they say he wanted to kill
himself, because I know that no one can control another person’s
actions. Everyone has a choice. It would have damaged me if he had
made the choice to end his life, but I knew it wouldn’t come to
that. He’s too strong to let something like a break-up send him
down that road.

There’s a knock on my
apartment door, and I go to answer it. I’m surprised to see my
father and Helen standing there in the hallway. I don’t want to let
either of them in, but Helen
is
my boss, and the Society owns this building, so I can’t deny her
access. They seem to be a package deal, so I open the door and step
back to let them pass by.

“If this is about
work, I’ll be back soon. I promise. I just needed some time.”

“This is not about
work. It’s about Nate.”

“I’m sorry, but
no.”

“Sit down, Jade. Your
father and I both have things that we need to say to you. You
will
listen to us if you want to continue working for the Society.”

“My job depends on
listening to you both try and defend a man who has no honor?”

A look of rage takes
over Helen’s face. I have never seen her get so angry, and it
scares me enough that I take a step back. “Nate Anderson is one of
the most honorable men I have ever known. You do not know his whole
story. He should be the one telling you, but since you have made that
impossible, we’re going to tell you his story.”

“I can’t believe
you’re defending him.”

“And I can’t
believe that you are being so difficult and close-minded. I know that
what you heard from Brent Sullivan hurt you, but if you’d just
listened to the whole story that night, you wouldn’t still be
hurting.”

“You’re that sure?”

“Yes, we are,” my
dad answers for her.

“Okay. I’ll
listen.” Not that I have a choice.

We sit down, and they
share a look. Helen nods at my dad, and he starts to speak. “Twenty
years ago, your mother left us and moved into an apartment set up for
her by Sullivan.”

“No.”

“Yes, Jade. He
offered her more than I could, and she left me to be his mistress. A
funny thing happened four years later, though. My gym was thriving
and I had some of the best fighters in the city. Sullivan wanted in
on the action, but I refused. He retaliated by putting out a hit on
me.

“Most of the men in
the city ignored it, out of loyalty to me, or because they hated
Sullivan. But there was a young man who couldn’t ignore it. He was
a promising fighter in my gym, and he was also homeless. His mother
was a well-known prostitute who slept with men for drugs, and not
food for her son. It had been that way for years, and while the
neighborhood did their best to look out for him when he was a little
boy, as a teenager, he was forgotten. I fed him when he’d let me,
but it embarrassed him, and he would disappear until he was sometimes
so hungry that he could barely stand. I would give him some food, and
then he would train like his life depended on it, because it did. He
knew that his skill as a fighter would take him off the streets.”

No. Oh my God, no.
“Nate?”

“Yes, it was Nate.
The night he came to our house was the first time I had seen him in
two weeks. I knew what he was there for, and so I didn’t try to
fight. I just asked him to use some of the money to take care of my
little girl, and he promised that he would. He hit me over and over
as tears ran down his face, and he said ‘I’m sorry’ more times
than I could even count. When I was lying on the ground, unable to
move, I told him that I forgave him, and to just finish it. He
couldn’t Jade. Nate couldn’t kill me. He knew he needed to, but
his hands were shaking and he fell to his knees. I, again, told him
it was okay, and that I understood. I gave him all the cash I had on
me, and asked him to make some noise when he left so you would wake
up to find me in time to call for an ambulance. He wanted to stay and
do it himself, but I knew he wouldn’t survive in jail.”

“Oh, Daddy. I
remember. I heard the door slamming. I always thought it was a
mistake.”

“It wasn’t. You
called 911 and I was taken to the hospital where I told them I hadn’t
seen whoever attacked me. The beating put me on the police radar,
though, which meant that Sullivan had to halt his plans to have me
killed. He was furious, and sent some of his men after the boy who
had promised that he could get into the house that night. Nate knew
he was coming for him, so he did the only thing he could think to do.
He went to one of the women who was in bed with Sullivan, both
figuratively and literally. Cecile Deveraux.”

“That’s why he let
her do that to him. She was protecting him.”

“Yes. She kept him as
her personal lover for the first month, and then when Sullivan
insisted, she put him into circulation. You know what happened after
that, and if I must say, Nate has more than served his penance for
what he did to me. When I saw him with you, it scared me, but we
talked and I realized the depth of his love for you, and that he
loved you before he knew that you were the little girl he had
promised to take care of. He gave me that same promise again, and I
believed him. He also apologized again, and I told him that it was
another lifetime, and it was the present I was concerned with. Not
our past.”

I’m crying now. For
the boy who couldn’t kill my father and had to sell his body in
order to not be killed himself. And also for the man I love, who
willingly faced all of his demons because he wanted to be with me.
Helen hasn’t spoken yet, and I know that whatever she has to tell
me is going to be even worse. I can see it on her face.

“Here’s where I
come in, Jade. I’m going to tell you things that I shouldn’t, but
you need to know them.”

“I won’t tell
anyone you told me. Neither will my dad. He’s obviously a vault.”

“I know.” She takes
a deep breath, and then continues. “The things that Nate had to
endure as a teenager have damaged him. Even the things he saw and did
in the war didn’t affect him the way his past does. When Matt
brought him to the Foundation, he asked Jane and the rest of us if he
could have some of the counseling the women we help receive. We
thought that was a strange request until he told us his story. We
immediately offered to find him a special therapist, and he accepted
our offer. We also told him that Audrey was developing a special
anti-depressant for us that was designed to help people who had been
through extreme trauma balance their emotions. He readily agreed to
be a test subject; although, Audrey didn’t know it was him until
the incident at the party.”

“He’s okay though.
I mean, Ellie said he was okay. He wouldn’t really try to hurt
himself.”

“He’s not okay,
Jade. He had a gun in his hand when he answered Darcy’s call. She
talked him out of it by telling him how much it would hurt you if he
killed himself after you broke up with him. He called Matt and Aiden
after that, and between the three of them, they got him to promise to
call if he felt that hopeless again. He has been in touch with his
therapist, and Audrey has adjusted his medication. He seems to be
doing well, but he is still despondent over the loss of you in his
life. I cannot make your decisions for you, but I would strongly urge
you to listen to what your father said and remember the man you fell
in love with. If you decide that you want to give him another chance,
it has to be because you want that, not because we do. If it’s not
real, it won’t last, and no one thinks he could survive that.”

He was really going to
kill himself? No. He wouldn’t do that.“He always seemed so
strong, so sure of himself.”

“That is the façade
he wore for the world. I would be surprised if he hadn’t lowered
that mask for you, and shown you the real man hiding inside.”

“He did. I just
didn’t realize how hard that must have been for him. I wish he had
told me all of this.”

“So does he. He was
frightened by the thought of you hating him, and rightly so.”

“It would’ve been
different if he’d told me himself.”

“Would it really have
been?”

I think about it, and
answer honestly. “Maybe a little, but in the long run, no. I
wouldn’t have listened to him once I heard what he did to my dad,
and knowing him, that would’ve been the first thing he told me.”

“We’re going to
leave you alone now, so you can think without the pressure of us
here. Just remember what I said—this has to be your decision, what
you feel is right for you. I will support you no matter what, but you
need to know that the mentors will fight to bring Nate back home. He
is part of our family, and we want him to keep working with us.”

“Before you leave, I
have to ask you something.”

“He wouldn’t give
us her name, and so we couldn’t go after her.”

“But why?”

“You know how we
sometimes help women, and then years later they are still afraid that
their husband will come for them, even when they know that it’s not
possible?”

“Yes.”

“Nate was afraid of
that terrible woman. He referred to her only as ‘Madame’ and
would visibly shake when he said that. He’s felt guilt over not
telling us. He knows he could’ve helped people, but we told him
that sometimes you have to help yourself first. Going back there had
opened up old wounds for him, and he had asked for a meeting once he
got back. He was going to tell us. You just beat him to it.”

“Thank you both for
coming here, and making me listen.”

“Think hard, Jade,
and look into your heart. I’ve never seen you as happy as you were
with him,” my dad says.

Before I can respond,
Tegan’s son Ethan comes running up to the door. “Your present’s
here, Jade.”

“My present?”

“Yeah, come on.”

He grabs my hand and
pulls me into the elevator. I make him wait for Helen and my dad,
because in all his excitement he almost forgot them. That’s not
like him—he’s usually a totally considerate kid. Whatever
“present” has arrived for me obviously has him excited.

When we reach the
ground floor he leads me out back to the stable that the mentors had
built for him. Ryan Griffin bought up the land around our building,
and designed a state of the art barn, “meadow,” and exercise
ring. Scott, Ainsley, and Aiden worked together, making it completely
secure, even though it’s outside.

When we get to the
ring, I stop short and cover my mouth with my hand. There’s is a
beautiful white pony inside, with a man holding its reins. “Ms.
Garrett?”

I nod. “Yes, that’s
me.”

“Meet your new pony.
Mr. Anderson said that her name is Cherub. I’m sorry for the delay
in delivering her, but she wasn’t quite ready to leave her momma
until this week.”

He bought me a pony.
Nate bought me a freaking pony. He said he would, but I thought he
was joking. And he once said he didn’t know anything about romance.

“Go pet her, Jade.
She won’t bite,” Ethan encourages me. I can tell he’s almost as
excited as I am.

“Well, actually, she
may nibble a little. She is a baby after all,” the man tells me.

Ethan and I walk into
the ring, and I approach my new horse. I hold out my hand to try and
show no fear. I read once that horses can sense fear, and I don’t
want to spook her. She sniffs my hand, and then pushes her head into
it. I stroke her forehead and neck before wrapping my arms around her
in a hug. I have a pony. A real live pony that the man I love bought
for me.

I turn to look at my
dad, and Helen, who are both smiling and taking pictures. “I need
to borrow a plane to take me wherever he is.”

“There’s one
waiting for you now.”

“Will you take care
of Cherub for me while I’m gone, Ethan?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.”

“Let’s get you to
the airport, Jade. You have a man to bring home.”

Nate

I’ve been working the
night shift, “guarding” Darcy for the past two weeks. She wanted
me on the day shift so we could actually hang out, but after a day of
dealing with stuck up shopkeepers and snooty museum people, I was
out. Now I just watch the monitors at night, and sleep all day. The
guy I work with on the night shift is s a talker, so I don’t get to
dwell on Jade, or how badly I fucked it up, while I’m working.

I pulled an extra shift
last night, and I’m just going to bed before the sun comes up when
I hear a commotion downstairs. I run down the steps faster than I
should be able to, but the thought of Darcy being in danger propels
me forward. I hear Darcy’s raised voice as I draw near the front
door. It sounds more angry than scared, though.

“Let him sleep. You
can come by later to see him.”

“I want to see him
now. I
need
to see
him, and I will take out every one of your guards—and you—if I
have to in order to get to him.”

I stop short in the
hallway. No. It can’t be. There is no way that she’s here.