I shake my head. “I want to.” He nods his head, allowing me a moment to continue. “Brian never knew about the baby. A few days later, I found out about the other girl and like I told you before, we confronted him. The truth is, after I found out that he’d cheated, I was kind of happy. It gave me the push that I needed. When I got home, I decided that I was gonna leave and go to Dad and tell him everything that was going on. I knew that he would protect me and the baby.”
“That makes sense,” he says, giving me a sympathetic smile.
I nod in agreement. “But I didn’t get that far. I remember coming home and running upstairs, I got out my luggage and started throwing my clothes in, trying to move as fast as I could in case he came back. Well, of course, once the other girl found out about me, she wanted nothing to do with Brian either. She broke up with him and he was furious. He came back to me, and when he did, he found me packing up my shit. He went crazy, said that I didn’t get to walk away from him now that I ruined what he had going on. He picked up my suitcase and threw it across the room.”
He sighs, I can see the realization in his eyes. “Fuck, Baby,” he says softly, his eyes getting wet.
“No, it’s not the same thing. When you did that, deep down I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. I ran out of habit not out of fear.”
“It’s no excuse.”
“Stop, you’re nothing like him, you’re everything that he’s not.” He closes his eyes, letting the information sink in, trying to calm himself down. When he finally opens them, I know he’s ready to hear the rest. “I tried to run away from him, but he caught me and he hit me, just like this last time. He got me on the ground and kicked me a bunch of times. I tried to shield my stomach with my hands. I remember lying there praying that the baby would be okay. Eventually, I passed out. When I finally woke up, I was on the floor, alone.” I swallow and try to fight back the new stream of tears. “I was sore everywhere and when I was finally able to stand, I saw that I was bleeding and I knew. I knew the baby was gone. I tried to clean myself up the best I could. I took a shower and finally I called Jordan. I was terrified that she wouldn’t pick up, because I hadn’t talked to her in so long. I’d cut everyone off, but she didn’t let me down, she answered the phone and when I told her I needed her she came right away.”
“She loves you.”
“And I love her. When she saw me, she lost it, said that she knew something was off. She got me out of there and took me home with her. She took care of me. I made her promise not to call my family but she didn’t give a shit what I wanted at that point. She called Dad. He went to her house and when he saw me, I thought he was gonna have a heart attack. We fought and fought, he tried to get me to press charges on Brian but I just wanted it to be over. I think a part of me was scared of what he would do to me. Eventually, Dad gave up trying to convince me to press charges but Brian never bothered me again until now. I know Dad had something to do with that, although I’m not sure what he did. I went home with Dad, moved in with him, and once I got better, I changed everything about myself. I changed my wardrobe, made myself more conservative, dyed my blonde hair back to its original color and I put up the wall. I didn’t let myself get close to anyone. I cleared all the debt left behind from abandoning my apartment with Brian and my credit cards. I started saving up money and eventually I bought my little house. I started over.”
“I’m so sorry you went through that. If I could take it all away, I would. Make it so that it never happened.”
“Then I never would have met you, and you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Ditto.”
“You and Jordan are the only ones that know about the baby. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell anyone else about that, but I wanted you to know why.” I blink away a few stray tears. “Why I was how I was when I met you. He took something from me. A dream of something amazing and because of that, I was never able to look forward to the future. I could never let myself believe that anything good could last.”
“I get it. I know that I can never replace the baby that he took from you, Love, but I’ll give you a family if that’s what you want. It’s what I want.”
I smile at him, my heart swelling with love for him. “I want it too.”
He reaches over me and pulls an envelope from the nightstand. “I was gonna give this to you before you left Miami.”
He hands me the envelope and helps me to sit up. I open the envelope and pull out the papers, unfold them and begin to read. I let out a gasp and I look up to meet his gaze. “This is the deed to the house in Miami, my name is on here.”
“It’s your house now. It’s what I was talking to the realtor about that day. I knew, I knew that you were having a hard time believing that we would last. I figured that if I gave you the house, you’d finally let yourself believe. I wanted it to be an engagement gift.”
“What?” I question, barely audible, my heart pumping loudly in my chest.
He chuckles and opens his hand up to reveal a ring. I cover my mouth and nose with my hands and shake my head in disbelief. “I was planning on giving this to you that night, before all hell broke loose.” Fresh tears spring to my eyes as I stare at the most perfect ring I’ve ever seen. It is platinum with a band of smaller diamonds accenting a larger round cut diamond that appears to be at least two carats. “Ellie?” he calls softly. I look up at him. “Will you do me the honor of being my wife? I promise that I’ll make you happier than you could ever dream of. I promise that I’ll give you a house full of love, kids, dogs, whatever the hell you want. I don’t care as long as you’re mine.”
I giggle, looking at the situation, me in a t-shirt covered in bandages and bruises, him in nothing but boxers, and even still it’s the most perfect proposal. I wouldn’t change a thing. I nod my head in acceptance. “Yes, I’ll marry you. There’s nothing that I want more than to be yours.”
He gives me his knee melting smile, sliding the ring on my finger, and kissing me. I close my eyes, committing the moment to memory. The moment where he managed to turn the darkest part of me to light.
Victor’s farewell tour has been record breaking. Almost every show has been sold out. In most cities, tickets sold out so fast that we had to add second shows to accommodate the demand. The plan was for Victor to go ahead of me, with the tour starting out in Mexico City, then making his way through Latin America where I was to meet him in Brazil. Three days before he was scheduled to leave, I decided that I didn’t want to be away from my fiancé, so I quit my job. Victor was thrilled and, if I’m being honest with myself, so was I. I was never happy with my work. It was just something that I did to pay the bills. I had planned to cash out some of my savings to help me get by until the tour was over but Victor wouldn’t hear of it. He said that I had quit to be with him and it was his responsibility to take care of me. I wasn’t altogether comfortable with living off of his money so we decided that I would come on the road with him as his personal assistant. Ultimately, my job is that of a glorified girlfriend, doing all the stuff I would do anyway like making sure he gets up on time, making sure that he eats and is ready to go to the venues on time for sound checks. He actually pays me for this and Alex was thrilled that he didn’t have to do it anymore, since he is now managing Victor.
Last night we arrived in Spain. Victor has a concert tomorrow in Barcelona and in two days we’ll be in Madrid. After Spain, we fly back to the states where we get a week off then we’re off to Miami, Texas, Las Vegas, Los Angeles and will end the tour with two shows in New York at Madison Square Garden. Victor said he wanted to save the best for last. I think a part of him is sad that it’s all coming to an end but he says that he’s certain that this is what he wants. Once the tour finally comes to a close, Victor, Alex and I will be looking at properties in New Jersey that we can convert into a recording studio. They will handle the creative side and I’ll be managing the business aspect. The penthouse in New York was finally sold and Victor is officially moved into my little cottage with me. We’re still trying to decide between expanding it or looking for a new house altogether.
Victor’s mother has been making strides to try and get back in his good graces. She’s apologized to me more times than I care to count and I believe that she truly is sorry. I think that eventually Victor will be ready to move on and accept her apologies, though I’m not exactly sure when that’ll be. I don’t try to sway him either way. It’s his decision to make and I’ll support whatever he decides.
As for our wedding plans, we’ve decided to fly our family and friends down to Miami when the dust from the tour settles, where we’ll get married at our, no wait, MY house, overlooking the bay. As I sit outside in a bathrobe, admiring the view on the balcony of our hotel suite in Spain, I think back over the events of the last several months. I think of how one man helped a broken woman learn how to give and receive love again. It really is a gift I’ll never be able to fully repay but I know that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying. I get up and go inside, where Victor is splayed out on the bed taking a nap. Seeing him lying there, naked from the waist up does something delicious to my insides. I make my way over to the bed, crawl on top and straddle him. Lowering my head, a smile on my mouth, I lick, then kiss his neck. Moving down, I lick and kiss the top of his chest. That’s about as far as I get before I’m on my back, pinned down, hands over my head. I love it when he does that. His eyes turn liquid, making other parts of me turn liquid in return. “You wanna play?” he whispers, gently biting my earlobe.
“I wanna play,” I respond, bucking my hips up.
“You’re overdressed.” He lets go of my wrists and grabs the sash of my robe, opening up and pushing it off my shoulders, leaving me naked. “Much better.” He begins a slow stream of steady kisses starting with my lips and heading south, making stops along the way and paying particular attention to my breasts. Tugging, sucking and licking each one until I’m whimpering from the sensations he’s eliciting. He begins his travels again, leaving a trail of kisses down my stomach, on my hips, and finally ending the journey with a kiss just above the most sensitive part of my body. “Are you mine?” he questions, with a gleam in his eyes.
I respond immediately. “Always.” He gives me a wicked grin and spreads my legs with his hands. Within moments, his mouth is on me, ravaging me in the most delicious kind of way. He circles his tongue around my clit, but avoids touching it as long as possible. The sensations drive me crazy. I grab his hair in my hands and gently pull, trying to direct him to the spot where he’s most needed. He chuckles, but takes the hint, finally stroking me there with his tongue causing an intense orgasm to spread through me.
He moves back up until we’re face to face, Victor looking very pleased with himself. “Should we keep playing?”
“I never start a game I can’t finish.” I want to return the favor but before I can so much as move, my hands are pinned over my head again and Victor’s inside of me. I gasp at the feel of him, lost to the sensation. He withdraws, making me moan at the loss of him, and just as quickly he’s back, moving inside of me in an intoxicating rhythm. I love this game. “I’m gonna come again,” I say, feeling it come over me again, the familiar build up starting in my stomach and expanding with every thrust.
“Let go, Babe,” he says. I know he can’t hold off much longer so I wrap my legs around his waist and move my hips to match his rhythm, deepening the connection until I’m falling over the edge, coming apart into pieces as another violent orgasm rips through me. Victor follows, coming hard and collapsing on top of me, letting me take some of his weight. He lets go of my wrists and I wrap my arms around him. “I love you,” I whisper in his ear.
He smiles at me, placing a soft kiss on my lips. “I love you too, Baby.”
After we make love, we lay breathless in each other’s arms. I make an impulse decision to speed things up in this relationship. I’m ready to be Victor’s wife and even more ready to start our life together. “Have you asked Alex to be your best man yet?” He kisses the top of my head.
“Yes, Love, he was very happy. How about you, have you asked Jordan?”
I laugh. “I didn’t have to ask, Babe, she just assumed.”
I turn so that I can rest my chin on his chest, allowing me a better view of his face. He smiles at me. “That sounds like Jordan.”
“You know I was thinking,” I say, drawing a pattern of circles on his chest, “maybe we shouldn’t wait so long to get married. Maybe we should do it now.”
He looks at me questioningly. “I thought you wanted to wait till the tour was over? I told you I wanted to get married right away and you wanted to wait. Why are you changing your mind all of a sudden?”