Trashy (8 page)

Roxie

I could kiss him forever.

It was late. The roads were dark and practically empty as I drove home from the club. Everything was still wet from the heavy rainstorm earlier, but I barely noticed.

I couldn’t even worry about the guy who sat in the club tonight, the one whose stare seemed to burn a hole right through my back. All night it was hard to shake the feeling I was being watched. Every time I was out on the floor, taking orders and delivering drinks, the little hairs on the back of my neck would stand tall.

My eyes kept going to the man sitting alone, drinking beer. Every time I glanced his way, he appeared to be engrossed in his cell phone, but I had caught him once. Caught him staring at me, the intensity in his gaze making my skin crawl.

But then he went back to his phone, and I was left wondering if I was just being paranoid.

I’d seen him a couple times at the club, and each time he creeped me out. But he’d never done anything to make me think he was dangerous. In fact, he’d never even spoken to me.

But whatever. The creepy man in the bar was the last thing on my mind because everything in my head paled in comparison to Adam. I couldn’t stop reliving the kiss.

The. Kiss.

It played such a prominent role in my head I felt like it needed a title of its own. I had been so keyed up when I left his office that it took the rest of the night just to breathe normally again.

And then he walked me to my car.

And kissed me again.

I should have been scared out of my mind. Scared of my reaction to what happened between us tonight.

I knew better than to get tangled up with a man who would probably only hurt me. True, Adam had never been anything but good to me since I met him, but his track record told a different story.

He’d been married four times. Four. If he would marry and then divorce so easily, then it didn’t bode well for any kind of relationship we might have. And sure, if I were in any other kind of place in my life, maybe a casual fling would be okay.

But I wasn’t in that frame of mind. Hell, who was I kidding? I never would be. I put everything I had into my relationship with Craig. I made excuses for him, I blamed myself, and I basically tried way too hard to make it work with him even when I should have walked away.

Deep down I was a relationship kind of girl. Deep down I craved that one person who would always be there. That one person who would always love me no matter what.

While my heart whispered—
hoped
—it might be Adam, my brain told me to get real.

It was so hard thinking with my head when my heart was involved.

A pair of headlights bobbed in the rearview mirror, momentarily distracting me. I glanced at the car that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

It was red.

It looked sporty.

I thought about the gas station before work, about Craig and the car I’d seen him drive away in. A funny feeling unfurled in my gut, making my nerve endings sizzle with warning.

It couldn’t be.

All thoughts of Adam, our kisses, and my final dance earlier tonight fled my brain. Adrenaline began to flood my system. I knew I shouldn’t be scared. I was probably overreacting. But I couldn’t help it. I was out alone in the dark, the road was almost empty, and a car that looked suspiciously like the one Craig had been driving was following along behind me.

My hands tightened around the steering wheel, squeezing until it was almost painful. My back stiffened and my legs locked up, squeezing together from the knees up. As I drove, I glanced in the rearview mirror almost obsessively.

The car was just driving along behind me. It wasn’t tailing me. It wasn’t driving erratically. There was no reason for me to believe I was in danger.

I came to an intersection up ahead. On impulse, I braked and swerved into the left turning lane. This wasn’t my road; it wasn’t my turn or my neighborhood. But I could go down this road, then loop around and catch this main street again to take me on to my apartment.

My blinker seemed incredibly loud as I made the turn onto the street.

The red car followed.

As it turned, I got a better glimpse at the vehicle. It was a two-seater sports car. The dark shadow of a single driver in the front made my pulse spike.

“Shit,” I muttered. “Don’t panic,” I told myself.

Then I laughed.

I was totally panicking right now.

I went down the street, passing darkened houses and businesses already closed for the night. As I neared the back of a lit-up gas station, I glanced up to see the car still just behind me. It was closer than it had been on the main road. Close enough that if I slammed on my brakes, he would hit me.

Impulsively, I swerved into the parking lot of the gas station, my tires making a loud screeching sound on the pavement. As I furiously spun the steering wheel and pointed my car into the front of the lot, I glanced out the back window.

The red
sportster halted completely, having overshot the turn into the lot. The car reversed and then turned to follow me.

Okay. He was totally following me.

I hit the gas, ripping through the lot, a nearby car blaring its horn at me as I sped, but I didn’t slow down. Instead, I pulled out in front of an oncoming car and back onto the main street. My place was only minutes away. Maybe if I sped and drove crazy, he would back off.

And if he didn’t…

Well, then I’d get pulled over by the cops and that would totally scare him away.

I made it out onto the main road and through a nearby light without any sign of the other car. I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back into the seat, relaxing just a little. My arms and legs began to shake from the adrenaline that had flooded my body.

Maybe it was just some asshole wanting to scare someone for fun.

I looked up in the rearview mirror again.

The red car was zipping through the light, several car lengths behind me.

I pressed down on the gas pedal, increasing my speed and ripping down the street. Up ahead, the final light before I arrived at my building turned yellow. I sped up even more, refusing to get caught by the red light.

“Come on. Come on,” I muttered as I tore down the street, staring at the light, willing it to stay yellow.

Just as I approached it, the light switched from yellow to red. I glanced behind me. The red car was almost caught up.

“Fuck this,” I muttered and went through the light.

Just before I turned into the parking lot of my place, I noted the red car sitting down the street at the red light.

How much longer until it turned green?

I wasn’t going to wait around to find out. I ripped through the parking lot and prayed there was an open spot near our apartment. I cried out with relief when I saw the vacant spot just up ahead that was right in front of the stairs leading to mine and Harlow’s place.

My front tires hit the curb with a jolt when I slid into the spot. I grabbed my keys and bag and burst from the car and slammed the door. After making sure no red car was waiting, I took the stairs two at a time while fumbling with my keys.

The sound of a car engine purring grew closer, and I hopped from one foot to the other as I turned the key in the lock. When I heard the latch click home, I forced myself so hard into the apartment that I stumbled and almost fell.

I recovered quickly, jumped up, and slammed the door. The distinct sound of my keys and keychain banging against the outside of the door made me freak out all over again.

I’d left my keys hanging in the lock!

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart. I reached for the door handle and turned it, cracking the door once more. The glare of headlights out in the parking lot made me squint as my stomach turned in knots.

I pushed my hand through the crack and pulled the keys inside with me and then slammed it closed.

After I bolted all the locks, I crept over to the window in the living room. The white blinds were closed. Using a single finger I slid one of the slats up just a little and leaned over to look out into the night.

The red car was sitting at the curb.

Horrible memories of the night I was attacked in this apartment assaulted me. I wasn’t going through that again. Especially because this time I knew the man outside was here for me.

I didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but I had enough experience with him to worry.

The slat fell back into place, and I rushed for my bag, dumping all the contents out onto the floor and fumbling for my cell. I was calling the cops.

Clutching the phone as I called up the emergency number on the screen, I crept back over to the window. I don’t know why I moved like I was sneaking. It wasn’t like he could see me in here.

Just before I hit SEND, I peeked back outside.

He was driving away. Like a snail, the red car inched its way out of the parking lot and around the corner, out of sight.

Clutching the phone, I collapsed onto the couch. He was gone.

The silence of the room pressed in on me. Suddenly, I was sorry I told Harlow to go stay at Cam’s tonight.

I knew I could call her, but really, I didn’t want to have the conversation that would go along with that call. Instead, I snuggled down into Adam’s jacket, keeping the phone close by, and prepared myself for a very long night.

Adam

“What are you doing here, Tiff?” I asked, not in the slightest mood to argue with my newly crowned ex.

“Thought I’d come by and see if your shark of a lawyer told you the divorce was final,” she replied. “But I can see you already heard.”

I sighed. I was sorry she saw that, but in my defense, I did wait until everything was finalized to act on anything I felt for Roxie. “Sherman isn’t a shark and I think you know that,” I said, not bothering to respond to her jealousy.

“Why weren’t you in court today?” She sniffed.

“I was trying to avoid a conversation like this,” I muttered.

“I don’t know why I expected more from you,” she said. “I should have paid more attention to your track record.”

I ran a hand over my head and bit back a nasty reply. I was no saint. Some people might even call me a serial marrier. I couldn’t really explain why I’d felt the need to get married so many times. I didn’t have a shitty childhood. I wasn’t afraid to be alone.

My parents were happily married, still together, and didn’t pressure me to find a relationship like they shared.

Maybe I thought marriage was the way to prove I truly cared about a woman. Maybe deep down I was searching for that one person, the one that would complete me.

Or maybe I just liked to be in relationships.

I never really bothered to sit down and analyze my past choices or mistakes. Reliving the past felt sort of like throwing up last night’s dinner and eating it again.

“Look, Tiffany,” I said, stepping closer to her. She was a beautiful woman. Long blond hair, graceful long limbs, and a sculpted, smooth face.

But she isn’t Roxie.

“I am genuinely sorry we didn’t work out. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’ve tried to make it right. I haven’t left you with nothing. I bought you a car, paid your security deposit plus six months of rent on your new place. You can start over, find a guy who—”

“Isn’t in love with someone else?” She finished.

“Yeah,” I said, letting her have her anger. “You deserve better than me.”

That seemed to take a lot of the fight out of her. Maybe I made this harder than it had to be. Maybe instead of denying how I felt, instead of trying so hard to make it work with her… it would have been kinder of me to just walk away.

“Well, I won’t argue with that.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

I reached out and pulled her into a hug. She wasn’t soft and curvy like Roxie; she didn’t melt against me like she wanted to get closer. Not a single stirring of desire could be felt in my gut.

Tiffany surprised me by hugging me back. I half expected her to push me away, but then again, her anger was really just a front for the hurt I caused. Maybe she needed a hug… and the apology I just gave her.

When I pulled back, I grinned down at her ruefully. “So did you come here just to bust my balls?”

She gave me a little wicked smile. “You deserved it.”

“Yeah. I did.”

“And maybe,” she said quietly, “I came to say good-bye.”

“If you ever need anything, Tiff, you can come to me. I mean it.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I know. You’re not all bad, Adam.”

“I hope you find everything you’re looking for, Tiffany.” I meant those words. I really wanted her to be happy.

“I hope you do to,” she replied and tilted her head to the side. “Although, I think you already have.”

I made sure she got to her car okay before I went back inside. I glanced up at the stage and remembered Roxie’s final dance, the dance she did just for me.

Tiffany was right. I had found everything I was looking for.

Roxie was it for me.