Trashy (3 page)

He always was.

It made it hard to breathe.

“I was going to stay at Cam’s tonight,” Harlow said, stepping toward her bedroom. “But I’ll call him and tell him to stay here instead.”

“No,” I said. “There’s no reason.”

Harlow spun and gave a pointed stare at my cell. I sighed. “He just keeps calling to try and get under my skin. It isn’t working. Not this time. It’s over. For good. Nothing he can say will change my mind.”

“I’m not worried about you going back to him, Rox,” Harlow said. “I’m worried what he’s going to do when he realizes it.”

My stomach turned queasy, but I swallowed down the bile threatening to come up. “He isn’t going to do anything. Go to Cam’s. Enjoy him. He’s one of the good ones. There aren’t many of them left.”

“If you change your mind, you’ll call me?” Harlow asked.

I loved that she didn’t press. She didn’t try to mother me. I had a mother. I didn’t need another one. “I’ll call.”

She nodded and disappeared into her room. I grabbed my duffle and headed for the door. My eyes instantly scanned the parking lot as soon as I stepped outside.

Paranoia was sticky, just like the storm-laden air. It clung to me with persistence, never allowing me any peace. When I saw nothing out of the ordinary, I made my way to my used Mazda MX-6 and locked the door as soon as I got inside.

He isn’t going to do anything.
My own words haunted me.

Because deep down, I knew they weren’t true.

Adam

Dense, sun-warmed sand gave way under the pounding of my running shoes as I jogged along the beach. It was still early in the day, but it was already hot. The air was muggy, and judging by the dark clouds forming over the water, it was probably going to rain at some point today.

If it weren’t for the heavy wind blowing off the water, I’d be kicking myself for the punishing pace I had set for myself. But I wanted to get my run in before the rain started falling. The clouds were still far offshore, so I knew I had a while, but it was as good a reason as any to push it hard.

At least if I used this excuse, I wouldn’t have to think about the other.

I ran every morning, had been running for so many years it was second nature to me. I was naturally athletic, even if being that way was a lot more work than it used to be. I wasn’t going to let that part of myself go. A lot of other things had come and gone in my life, including some of that athleticism, but I was going to hold on to what I could.

My building came into view and I slowed, my body giving a sigh of relief. The familiar twinge of pain in my knee greeted me, but I ignored it. It would probably bother me the rest of the day, and I might even regret the hard workout.

No. Scratch that.

Regrets were for pansies. I was not a pansy. And regretting anything was a waste of time.

After I did some pull-ups and upper body work, I took a shower and got dressed in my usual button-up dress shirt and dark-colored dress pants. Even though I owned a strip club, I still dressed nice. Strip club or not, the Mad Hatter was my business and I was going to treat it as such. Wearing jeans and T-shirts to work (even if they were comfortable) didn’t give off the impression I wanted to.

I dealt with suppliers, delivery guys, dancers, customers, etc. on a daily basis. I wanted them all to know I was in charge. Sure, most of that was portrayed through attitude, work ethic, and drive, but I also needed to look the part.

I grinned ruefully at myself for my thoughts. Several years ago, I never would have dreamed this would be my life.

I glanced at the clock. It was still fairly early in the day, so I figured I’d have time to grab some coffee and food on the way into the club. I’d still make it in plenty of time for the phone call I was expecting.

The call was of a more personal nature, and one it seemed like I’d been waiting on for a while. Today was finally the day. The day I would officially be free.

Well, assuming there were no issues that popped up last minute.

God, I hoped not. I was ready to just move on.

And I knew exactly in what direction I wanted to go.

Roxie

As soon as I pulled out of the parking lot onto the main road, the sky opened up and rain began pelting my car. And then my gas light came on.

Of course I would need gas in the middle of this monsoon!

I took my chances and drove closer to the Mad Hatter, thinking maybe I would get lucky and the rain would slow down.

It didn’t.

So I ended up driving the entire way in the pouring rain, biting my nails and glancing at the gas gauge like every other second. When I got to work, I was sneaking behind the bar and taking a shot. Not that Adam would likely care.

I pulled off the main road and into the lot of the gas station, lucky enough to get a spot at one of the tanks in the center of the roof that covered the pumping area. The rain was thunderous when I climbed out of my old Mazda. After I set it to pumping, I dashed back into the car so I didn’t have to stand outside, but the humidity and loudness of the rain was almost intolerable.

When the tank was full, I hopped out and closed the gas cap. A quick glance around told me no one was waiting for my spot so I left my car there and dashed inside to pay. Inside, the smell of coffee captivated me, totally stealing my attention and making my mouth water. Clearly, my taste buds didn’t care where the coffee came from so long as it was fresh.

Taking a sharp turn, I yanked a paper cup out of the dispenser and poured it almost full with fresh brew. Then I dumped in about five little cups of vanilla-flavored creamer and gave it a stir. I liked a little coffee with my creamer. Once it was good and mixed I snapped on a black lid, snagged a roll of
SweeTarts off a nearby rack, and got in line.

What little sun was allowed to peak through the storm clouds had started to set as I made my way underneath the section of cover back toward my car. I didn’t make it very far before a familiar voice stopped me in my tracks.

“Some things never change.”

My steps faltered and nervous energy skittered along every single nerve ending in my body. Suddenly, I felt as if I’d just run a marathon, and I had to gasp for breath. Dread was also present. But underneath it all, way down beneath all the many other emotions, was a little bit of eagerness.

I hated it.

I hated that he could make me feel all that. Almost every last feeling he erupted in me was terrible. It hurt. Like physical pain. But then there was this inkling, this tiny little shiver of memory, of what it was like when we first met.

It was like I couldn’t shake him.

My fingers tightened around the cup, the heat like a lifeline to sanity. To reality. Slowly, I pivoted around to look at Craig.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same,” I replied. He glanced at the coffee and candy in my hand and smirked.

Yeah, I would probably always love coffee and
SweeTarts, but I wouldn’t always love him.

“How
ya been?” he asked like there wasn’t all this awful history between us. Like I wasn’t going to wear the scars of our relationship forever. He talked almost like we were friends, like the last time I saw him he didn’t hurl ugly words and accusations at me. Like he didn’t threaten me. Like Adam didn’t beat his ass and then he was led away in handcuffs.

I was once duped by that tone of voice. By the way his broad shoulders, lean waist, and baby blues would lean casually against the side of his car. I was totally blinded by the fluttery feeling I got inside my center when he smiled and his wavy dark hair fell into his eyes.

But I knew better now.

I knew bad things could come wrapped in pretty packages.

I knew sometimes charm was just a mask for something darker.

“Better now that you aren’t around,” I replied, keeping my tone almost nonchalant. The last thing on earth I wanted was for him to see—to even suspect—that he still got to me in any way, shape, or form.

Craig was good at manipulating me.

“I’ve missed you, baby.” He gave no indication he heard my insult. But he had. And it was something I would pay for later if I fell into his sticky trap.

“Surely I’m replaceable,” I said and started to turn away. I wasn’t the only woman to ever fall for his looks and charm. He’d cheated on me likely from the very beginning. I’d just been too stupid to realize it until I was in way too deep.

I felt his fingers curl around the inside of my elbow just as a loud boom of thunder echoed overhead. The rain was still pelting the cover overhead, and when the wind blew, the sheets of rain slanted and reached for us. My flats were already soaked.

I glanced down to where he held me gently. “Let go.”

He did immediately. That was just another one of his ploys. He wanted me to think I was in control, that he would back off when I wanted.

He was a good liar.

“How long you
gonna be mad at me, Roxie?” he asked, his voice dipping low. I could feel the heat off his body because he stood so close. Combined with the heat from the air, it was almost suffocating.

“I’m not mad at you, Craig. I’m not anything at all with you.” I kept my voice even, bored.

“You’re different,” he said, recoiling from my words.

I lifted my eyes to his, getting ready for the way he affected me. “I’m not the same seventeen-year-old you once knew. Stop calling me. Stop following me,” I said, knowing full well that us “running into” each other was not coincidence. “We’re done.”

“You’ve said that before.”

“This time I mean it.” I walked away without a backward glance. I kept my pace steady, my strides long. If I moved quickly, it was because of the rain, not because I was trying to put distance between us.

My insides were shaking, but I knew I handled that damn well. I was proud of myself. I should be. This time he knew I was serious. He felt the difference behind my words. I saw it in his eyes and I read it off his body. He hadn’t expected me to rebuke him this way.

Good.

I unlocked my car and reached for the handle, craving the solitude of the interior. Before I could pull the door open, a rough hand covered mine. He used his body to pin me against the wet metal, his front pressing into my back. He used all his weight, including the eighty pounds he outweighed me by, to keep me from sliding out from beneath him. I had to push back against him, further enhancing our closeness to keep the coffee from being squished against me and the window. I was already wet from the rain; I didn’t need to wear my coffee too.

His breath was hot, ruffling my hair as he growled into my ear. “You only get to walk away when I say you can walk away. We aren’t done, Roxie. Not by a long shot.”

My heart pounded violently against my ribs, and I pushed back, trying to shove him off me. It only made him pin me harder, as if he were trying to remind me who was in control. I sank my teeth into my lower lip against the pain of the door handle gouging into the side of my hip.

Over the hood of my car, I looked for someone to call out to, someone I could make eye contact with. It amazed me how everyone went along with their own business while Craig stood here and intimidated me this way. It was as if they didn’t look, then it wasn’t happening.

Cowards.

“The last time you pulled something like this, you ended up bleeding and in handcuffs,” I ground out.

“You better not be sleeping with him,” Craig growled, his teeth scraping over my ear. “If you are, I will fucking kill him.”

Absolute denial and stark fear flooded me at the direct threat to Adam. “I’m not,” I said, fervently. Once the words escaped me, I bit my lip harder, until I tasted blood. I shouldn’t have said that. Now he knew Adam was important to me.

Craig ground his hips against my backside. A car pulled up at the pump behind mine. “We aren’t done yet. You owe me.”

I stood there for long moments after he jogged back to his car. After swallowing thickly, I turned my head and looked at the woman now pumping gas just feet away.

Our eyes connected, and then she redirected her gaze somewhere else.

I wrenched my car door open and over the sound of the rain, I heard the sleek purring of an engine. I glanced over the hood of the car to see a cherry-red Mercedes Benz convertible back out of its spot.

Craig was behind the wheel. How had I not noticed the car before?

I’d been too busy making sure he hadn’t gotten the best of me.

Yet still he had. He drove off, and I climbed into the driver’s seat, abandoning my coffee and candy to the cup holders in the center. After a couple shaky breaths, I drove away.

I had known seeing Craig again was inevitable. It still caught me off guard.

What I hadn’t suspected was the expensive car he’d been driving. Craig didn’t have money. Holding down a job for more than a month at a time wasn’t one of his strong suits.

Not that he had many strong suits.

So, of course, I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell he had paid for it.