Travis (15 page)

“Do
guests have to stay at the resort or can they just visit the clubs? Who will
you allow in?”

Travis
swallowed hard and then pasted on a smile. “It’ll be by invitation only, and
yes, in order to utilize the amenities, they will have to be a guest here.”

Kylie
continued to comb the area with her eyes, slipping her hand out from his as she
ventured farther away. He remained where he was standing and simply watched
her. Not for the first time did Travis have some deep regrets about all the
things he’d lost back when he walked away from Kylie. She was beautiful, smart,
and a spitfire in bed from what he remembered.

But
Travis hadn’t left her because of her, or anything she did. No, he’d walked
away because he didn’t want to risk seeing the disappointment in her eyes when
she found out the truth about him. And on top of that, he hadn’t been willing
to risk that he might do something unacceptable because he would always feel as
though a part of his relationship was lacking.

And
truthfully, Travis knew she wouldn’t have understood his reasoning then, and he
didn’t expect her to now. But he owed her an explanation.

Trying
to lighten the mood because he was beginning to get weighed down by his own
thoughts, Travis moved closer, grabbing her hand again and leading her toward
one of the two grand staircases on each side of the doors they’d come through.
“We’ve added a spa up on the first floor,” he explained as he motioned up the
wide staircase that would soon be covered with expensive, plush carpet.

“Can
we go up there?”

“Sure.”
He held her hand as they ventured upward, following the rounded curve that led
to the landing above.

When
they reached the top, Kylie stepped over to the wrought iron railing that
overlooked the area between the two club doors.

“Wow,
this is a great view,” she said with that same hint of awe in her voice. “What
exactly will be going on in that area down there? It looks like you’ve designed
it so people can view it from everywhere.”

Travis
wasn’t sure he wanted to answer that, but today was supposed to be about
explaining himself. And since this resort and everything that would happen
within its walls was what he was all about, he decided to go for broke. Taking
his chances, he stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her body as they
looked over the rail together.

“Alluring
Indulgence is all about exploring your most intimate desires. No holds barred.
If you receive an invite and you choose to stay here, you’re giving yourself
over to your sexual fantasies.” Kylie shivered, and Travis lowered his mouth
closer to her ear as he continued, “Anything can happen here, as long as it is
consensual between all parties.”

“Anything?”

Kylie
was breathless, and the rasp of her voice struck a sensual chord deep inside of
him.

“Anything.”
He let his mouth brush against her ear. “If you want to watch, you’ve got
plenty of opportunities to do so. Or, if you want to be the object of someone’s
attention, you won’t have to go far.”

“Are
you saying…?”

Travis
decided to lay it out for her. “Picture this.” Pointing to one side of the
room, he said, “Over there, there’s a woman. Short blonde hair, big, beautiful
breasts, long legs. She’s leaning against the wall, her skirt pushed up around
her waist. Between her spread legs, there’s a dark haired man on his knees, and
he’s lapping at her sweet pussy while he fingers her slowly.”

Travis
paused, pointed to another spot. “And over here, there’s two men sitting on a
black leather couch, one of them has his slacks unbuttoned, a glass of bourbon
in one hand while stroking his cock with the other. He’s watching the red
headed woman who is straddling the man sitting beside him. She’s got her hands
on his shoulders, and she’s raising and lowering herself on his cock. Fucking
him. Slowly taking him all the way inside of her as she watches the pleasure
etched into the hard angles of his face.”

When
Kylie’s breath hitched and her body tightened, he kept going. “And right
there,” he said as he pointed to the middle of the room, “there’s a red velvet
couch. This one is circular, and it doesn’t have any sides. All around it are
both men and women, their eyes focused on the three people in the center. The
man with dark hair slicked back out of his face is on his knees, his cock
sliding ruthlessly in and out of the woman’s mouth. He’s holding her long,
black hair tightly in his fists as he fucks her face. Behind her, there’s
another guy, this one is bald. His broad chest is heaving as he pounds into
her, fucking her, slamming into her pussy over and over again.”

A
full body shiver wracked Kylie’s body and Travis stopped talking. He gave her a
moment to regain her composure, wondering what she was thinking. Several
minutes passed as she continued to stare over the railing.

“Want
me to keep going?”

Kylie
shifted, and Travis took a step back, letting her go. She looked surprised, but
her face was flushed and the way her teeth were gnawing at her bottom lip told
him she’d enjoyed hearing the story as much as he’d enjoyed telling it.

Taking
her hand, pretending as though he hadn’t just made her wet from his
storytelling, Travis led her away from the railing. “Down this hallway, and one
on the other side, there will be several restaurants and boutiques. The idea is
that once the guests are here, they won’t need to leave until their vacation is
over.”

“I’m
not sure they’ll want to leave,” Kylie mumbled beneath her breath and Travis
pretended not to hear her.

Kylie
didn’t say anything more, but she seemed to be interested in the details, her
head swiveling back and forth as she continued to take it all in. Travis could
only imagine what she was thinking. In recent months, there had been a number
of articles written on the resort and Travis had decided to be candid with the
details. Needless to say, they had attracted the attention they were hoping
for.

Travis
stood still, holding Kylie’s smooth, delicate hand in his, their fingers linked
together as though she were as comfortable touching him as he was her. While
she was distracted by the various designs within, his eyes raked over her soft
curves, the generous swell of her breasts, the slender column of her neck. She
was still just as reserved as he remembered, but as always, she had a backbone
made of steel, and it was clear she wasn’t letting her guard down for a minute.

Again,
he didn’t blame her.

“Are
you hungry?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

Her
head jerked toward him as though she’d forgotten he was there with her. He
wondered if she were playing out her own fantasies in her head.

“No,
not really.” Long locks of caramel silk swayed around her face as she shook her
head in answer to his question.

When
their eyes met, Travis was suddenly transported back in time to the day he met
her. To this day, he had never met a woman who captivated him the way Kylie had
from the moment he laid eyes on her. They’d both been young when they first
met, her much more so than he, but there was something about her that spoke to
him back then, much as it did now.

The
way she had been walking down by the lake, her feet bare and her long hair
pulled back with the sun shining down on her sun kissed skin... He’d thought
she was an angel. In her cutoff jeans and sleeveless white blouse, there’d been
something significantly innocent about her. Until she smiled at him. The way
her blue eyes twinkled as she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth rocked
him to his core.

Just
like now.

From
that day forward, Travis had spent as much time with her as he possibly could.
It was an instant friendship, but the lust that lingered bloomed like a
wildfire and Travis never was able to resist his desire for her. Unfortunately,
he’d gotten in way over his head long before he accepted the fact that he was
different.

Even
at twenty-four Travis had known he needed more, but when he met Kylie, he tried
to convince himself that he was wrong. No matter how many times he told himself
that she was more than enough for him, he never could get over the intense fascination
he had with…

Travis
shook off the thought, frowning as he stared at the walls of his resort. He
realized he was in the same situation now. Between Kylie and Gage, he was
battling his own needs as well as worrying about what his depravity would do to
two people like them.

Ok,
so food wasn’t a good idea. The images flashing through his mind were making
his heart race and his blood steam in his veins, and he was pretty sure he
couldn’t have eaten even if he had to.

For
the first time in as long as he could remember, Travis was nervous. About many
things. One being the fact that Kylie was suddenly back in his life, standing
beside him and they were evidently going to talk about a few things they’d
never discussed. The main one being why he walked out of her life.

Trying
to hide his sudden uneasiness, Travis gripped Kylie’s hand more firmly. “What
do you say we get out of here?”

When
she nodded her agreement, he helped her back to the truck, making sure he was
right beside her to catch her if she stumbled. When they made it to the truck,
he helped her in before shutting the passenger door and taking a long, deep
breath.

Finding
a place where no one would interrupt them was going to take a little creative
thinking, especially in a town where everyone knew who he was, but at least it
gave him something to focus on.

By
the time he rounded the truck, he’d come up with an idea. He knew of only one
place that would provide the seclusion necessary for them to talk and hopefully
hash out a decade worth of questions that he was sure this woman had.

The
lake was his only option.

♂♀

Once
they were back in the heart of town, Travis took the path off of the main road,
heading down to the hidden spot that he and his brothers and their friends had
claimed as their own when they were mere teenagers. These days he knew no one
frequented the spot, so he wasn’t expecting to run into anyone. Since it looked
like rain, he figured it only improved his chances of total seclusion, and as
he pulled down the dirt path that would take them almost to the water’s edge,
he wasn’t disappointed.

Thanks
to the sinister gray clouds looming overhead, Travis chose not to get out,
although he’d much prefer to sit on the tailgate and listen to the water as it
churned against the bank within the small cove hidden by an overhang of trees.

Once
he was parked, he killed the engine, and the two of them sat in silence for a
few minutes. It was odd that they could manage not to say anything, even though
there were numerous questions lingering in the air between them. So many Travis
was sure he’d never be able to answer them all.

 When
he started feeling a little restless, unsure exactly what he wanted to say to
Kylie, he flipped on the radio, trying to fill some of the silence. As he
watched the turbulent, dark water, he let his mind drift off to the last time
he saw her, ten years ago.

The
one day of his life he regretted more than any other.

“I’m
sorry, Kylie. I wish it could be different. I just…” Travis didn’t know how to
continue, found it difficult to come up with the words to express the gut
wrenching agony he was in. But it had been his decision, so the least he could
do was explain why he was leaving.

“What
do you mean you’re sorry? What the hell does that even mean?”

Travis
wasn’t sure how to answer her question. Either of them. Staring down at Kylie,
with her honey gold hair and baby blue eyes and perfect, angelic features, he
felt like a complete and total asshole.

Which
he was.

He
really was.

Sorry
wasn’t a strong enough word for what he felt, but he couldn’t think of any
other way to express himself. This was the hardest thing he ever had to do, and
honestly, how do you let down a woman easily? Especially one that you up and
married less than three weeks ago.

It
wasn’t easy, that was for damn sure.

“Look,”
he began, but the tears he saw welling in her beautiful blue eyes made the knot
in his chest tighten. Moving closer, he pulled her up against him, pressing his
lips against the top of her head. She was so damn small, yet she fit in his
arms perfectly.

And
wasn’t that the damn problem?

It
was like she was made specifically for him, yet there were things about him
that he knew she would never understand. Hell, he didn’t even understand them.
He hated what he’d done, hated even more that he was going to shatter her heart
in the process, but Travis had no idea what he was supposed to do except walk
away and pray like hell she could move on with her life before he had the chance
to ruin it.

“Don’t
cry,” he pleaded, her sobs making her whole body shake, even wrapped securely
in his arms.

“I
don’t understand. Why’d you marry me if you didn’t want to be with me?” Kylie
whispered.

“It’s
not that I don’t want to be with you,” he explained, knowing he wasn’t making
any sense. And that was the truth, he did want to be with her, but he also
wanted to be with someone else. There was still a pull that Travis hadn’t been
able to let go of.

“There
are things about me that you don’t understand, baby. I’m not the man you think
I am.”

“What?”
she asked, jerking away from him as confusion obscured her features. “Are you a
serial killer? Or... or...” Stopping the tears by pressing the heel of her
hands against her eyes, Kylie continued after a resigned sigh, “Travis, I don’t
understand.”

“You
will one day, I promise.”

He
prayed she would understand.

He
prayed that this was the right decision, and he wouldn’t live the rest of his
life regretting walking away from her. He loved her, he wouldn’t deny that.
He’d spent every minute of free time he had with her for the last year and
honestly, he thought marrying her was the logical thing to do. It sure felt
like it at the time because no matter what he tried to tell himself, Travis
loved her.

Looking
down at the floor, his heart slowly cracked inside his chest as he prepared to do
the unthinkable. He was walking away from her for the last time because he
couldn’t get over the fact that he was lusting after someone other than her. It
didn’t matter that the other person was a man, or that he wasn’t the least bit
interested in what Travis was looking for either, or that nothing had happened
between the two of them.

But
it was best for Kylie if he walked away now, he knew it was. She didn’t deserve
to be tied to him, not like this. He was so damned confused about what he
wanted, and Kylie Prescott deserved something better than what he could give
her.

She
wasn’t the type of woman who could handle the desires he was plagued with. She
wasn’t the type of woman who would understand that he needed everything she had
to give him plus some. Things she wasn’t even capable of giving him. Things she
wasn’t even capable of understanding.

Picking
up the bag he’d packed a few minutes before, Travis turned to look back at her
one last time. As much as it pained him to walk away, he had to do this. For
her sake. And his.

One
day, he was pretty sure she would thank him for it. He just wasn’t sure he’d
ever be able to get over her.

Travis
wondered if today would be the day she would thank him for letting her go
because he damn sure hadn’t ever gotten over her.

“You
wanted to talk?” Kylie’s voice echoed through his brain, making him realize
he’d run out of time. He owed her the truth. Leaning forward with his forearms
resting on the steering wheel and his fingers linked together, Travis continued
to gaze out the window.

“Did
you ever have any questions?” He knew the question was asinine, but he was so
unsure of how he should go about this or even what he wanted to tell her that
he’d blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“
Did
I have questions?
” Kylie sounded almost hysterical. “Are you kidding? For
months, I tried to figure out what it was that I did to push you away. I never
got past blaming myself because I had nothing
but
questions.”

Yep,
he was an idiot.

Travis
took a deep breath. “Have you ever had the feeling that you were different? That
what you wanted or needed wasn’t the same as everyone else?”

Kylie
didn’t respond, but he could sense that she was still looking at him, so he
kept talking.

“It
was never you, I promise you that,” he continued, not looking over at her.

“So,
what? Are you going to sit here and explain it all to me? Will that clear your
conscience? It’s been ten years, Travis. Don’t tell me you have trouble
sleeping at night because you think you’re different.”

He
peered over at her, pinning her with a glare. Then he snapped. “I don’t have
trouble sleeping at night. I
can’t
fucking sleep at night. I haven’t
been able to sleep for ten fucking years, dammit. You think this was fucking
easy for me? That walking away from you was the end to my problems?”

Jerking
his gaze back to the churning waves in front of him, the agitated water
resembled the storm of emotions that was building inside of his chest.

He
doubted she would understand, but walking away from her had been the hardest
thing he’d ever done. There were many nights that he wondered where they would
be today if he’d had the guts to talk to her rather than run away. If he would
have accepted himself for who he was back then, rather than thinking she was
too damn young and naïve to understand. To this day, Travis wished he had told
her that she was everything to him, but still not enough. Except that would’ve
hurt her so much more than his walking away.

He
knew Kylie. He knew she wouldn’t have been able to understand, and she damn
sure wouldn’t have been able to share him. Or herself.

If
Travis thought for one second he would be able to accept that he could be happy
shutting off that part of him that needed something more than she was even
equipped to give him, he would’ve stayed with her. That was why he married her
in the first place.

He
wanted to be the man she needed. He wanted to be
her
man period.

He
just wasn’t.

“You
should’ve trusted me. You could have told me before you married me.” Kylie’s whisper
was loud in the enclosed truck.

Turning
to face her, Travis felt that ever present anger bubbling to the surface.
“Trusted you? Do you really think this was about trust? Darlin’, you can’t even
begin to understand what I’ve gone through since I left you that day. It was better
for you, I promise.”

“What
was better for me? That you married me and then left me completely alone? That
you let me fall in love with you so deeply that my heart actually hurt for
months after that? You can tell yourself whatever you want to make it easier
for you, but you’re delusional, Travis Walker.”

Travis
couldn’t resist, he jolted across the seat, pulling her against him and
gripping the back of her head, holding her so that she had to look him straight
in the eyes. The feel of her silky hair as it grazed the back of his knuckles
was pure torture. As was seeing the sudden uncertainty in her eyes.

Letting
his mouth linger just above her lips, he closed his eyes and inhaled the
sweetest fucking woman he’d ever had the pleasure of touching. When he felt as
though he could control himself, he opened his eyes again and looked at her.

“I
wanted you more than my next fucking breath, Kylie. I wanted to bury myself in
your body and never let you go. I wanted you beside me for the rest of my damn
life.”

“But
you couldn’t stay with me, right? Because I wasn’t what you needed? So, if
that’s the case, why did you tell me you aren’t gay? I saw the way you kissed
Gage last night,” she sounded breathless, but there was no fear in her eyes.

Damn
her. She was just as fearless now as she was back then. Kylie Prescott was
feisty, and she made his fucking dick hard with how much she thought she knew
and how much she believed she could handle. And that was the key word –
thought
.
Kylie might pretend to be bulletproof, but what he was about to tell her was
going to be the true test.

“Believe
what you want, Kylie, but I’m telling you, I’m not gay.”

“No?”
Her breath tickled his lips and Travis wanted to press his mouth to hers, to
taste her again, but he knew as soon as he did, he’d never be able to let her
go. And he wasn’t any different now than he was then. He was still the same
man. The one who wanted more than he deserved.

“Making
love to you healed my soul, Kylie. Being with you was more than I ever dreamt
it to be, but it… wasn’t enough.”

Kylie
tried to jerk away from him, but he didn’t let her go. His hands cupped the
back of her head, his thumbs scraping along her jaw gently as he forced her to
look at him.

Easing
closer, Travis let his lips lightly brush hers, hearing her breath catch,
absorbing the tremor in her fingers where they were latched onto his forearms.
“Would I want to kiss you if I was gay, Kylie? Would I want to strip you naked
and spread you out right here on this seat and bury my tongue in your pussy?”

Her
eyes widened, but Kylie didn’t say a word. He could practically feel her body
overheating as his words turned her on. He knew they did. She could deny it all
day long, but Travis got to her.

“I’m
not gay. I’m bisexual, Kylie.” The words spilled from his mouth on a rush, and
his gut twisted as he waited for her reaction. Waited for her to push him away.

“Bisexual?
Meaning you…” She obviously didn’t understand what he was trying to tell her.
Or maybe she did, and she just couldn’t process the words.

“There
has always been a part of me that longed for more than just one woman or one
man,” he explained, watching to see if the light would come on, if she would realize
what he was saying.

“I
wasn’t enough,” she whispered, but she wasn’t asking a question. It sounded as
though she were working the details out in her head. “You mean you’re
interested in a…”

“Threesome.
Polyamory. Ménage. Call it whatever you want.”

Travis
waited for a reaction. Waited for her to say something. He expected her to tell
him he was crazy and that the only thing he was interested in was fucking other
people.

She
said none of those things.