Treasure Yourself (5 page)

someone who is confident from someone who is not is how he or she handles rejection. What is also good

to remember is that the things others might not like about you could be the very things that make you

different and unique. They could even be the values that you cherish! I keep reminding myself that

rejection can sometimes be a blessing in disguise and the universe has something better in store for me. I

try to look at it as simply another step towards my destiny.

Smile often… In my opinion a genuine smile is the most confident and attractive thing anyone can wear.

Nothing is more beautiful than a smile that comes from the heart. A happy, confident person is charismatic

and definitely more fun to be around and usually a lot more attractive. A smile radiates warmth from

within. A smile says, ‘I’m confident and have a lot to offer the world’.

Everything happens for a reason… I am a big believer that everything happens in life for a reason. I try

to live in the moment and give my best at everything I do and I trust that the right path will open before

me.

Using positive affirmations keeps me open to change and helps me deal with self-doubt. Sometimes

feeling doubtful about something can be a good wake-up call; a time to think carefully about what’s really

going on. Taking time to reflect on any doubts can be a useful process in which you look within to

discover your true beliefs. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect situations, but

if you take things step by step you will grow stronger and more confident in your own abilities.

There was a time in high school when I was being picked on by one of the girls in our year. This

particular girl was always picking on someone and it was my turn. I remember being really scared of her

and so I hated going to school. It got to the point where I didn’t want to go to school at all. My parents had

a long talk with me. They told me to stand up for what I thought was right: not to be rude, but to be honest

with her and tell her what effect she had on people and how terrible she made other people feel.

I remember going to school the next day and sure enough she said something mean to me. I was much

smaller than her but as scared as I was I told her exactly what I thought. I told her things that no one else

was willing or brave enough to tell her. I told her the only reason people hung around her was because

they were scared of her and that she couldn’t see they weren’t really her friends. The ones she thought

were her friends only pretended to be out of fear. She was hurt and cried. I didn’t want to hurt her, I just

wanted to tell her the truth and I did. In doing so I stood up for myself and for others when I didn’t think I

could. It is interesting because after that I decided the situation with my friend happened for a reason and

that was for me to learn to be stronger. As it turned out, my speaking up helped her as she stopped picking

on people and got to know what it was like to have real friends, ones who really liked her. We are friends

to this day and I am thankful for the process we went through together.

Knowing yourself and coming to trust your feelings and your intuition will open up your life to greater

possibilities and keep you moving towards your goals. One thing I have learned is that I should trust my

‘gut’ instincts. Ultimately, only we know what is best for us.

Go for what you want… Some people are taught to believe that it’s better to be silent than to ‘rock the

boat’. But in my opinion you are worse off if you remain silent because you can find yourself squashing

your own desires to accommodate others. We all worry at some point about the opinions of others,

especially those who we value. We stress ourselves out if we have to say “NO” to someone we love, or

we avoid saying anything if someone cuts in front of us or even speaks over us. But in the end, it’s

important for us to learn to value ourselves enough to stand up for what we know is right and for what we

want, otherwise we will never get it.

Being assertive… Assertiveness is a quality that enables you to endure the discomfort of doing what you

believe is right even if you feel the emotional pressure that comes with ‘going against the grain’. There is

a difference between being assertive and being aggressive though. I’ve seen a lot of people who have

come across as really dominating but believe they are just asserting their opinion. Being assertive doesn’t

mean that you always have to get your way … it just means you speak honestly and compassionately about

your thoughts, beliefs and opinions. There should be a balance in all things. It’s important not to be too

passive and let people take advantage of or use you, but equally important being too aggressive or even

begrudging will not serve your highest good. By taking note of how you behave around other people, you

can make a conscious effort to express how you feel in a harmonious way.

Self-doubt however, is different. Self-doubt happens when you allow negative thoughts to stop you

from moving forward and enjoying this wonderful life. These self-limiting beliefs can alter the way you

behave – over-promoting yourself, being constantly defensive or even avoiding conversations and

interactions with other people. This is the time when you can use some positive affirmations to challenge

these thoughts. I like saying to myself, ‘I am awake, alive and full of energy’ and ‘I release any negative

or fearful thoughts. I am safe’.

Confidence is one of our greatest assets as individuals and as we carry it within us, we can face any

situation. Believing in our own capabilities also means knowing and having the means to rely on other

sources for information and help if you cannot handle a situation completely on your own.

Enjoy yourself… We are here to enjoy life and the experiences we have. We are here to make mistakes

and sometimes look a little silly. I remember once in Milan, at one of my first fashion shows overseas, I

was given shoes that were three sizes too big. When I realised and told my dresser she just handed me a

bunch of tissues as the show was about to start. I frantically stuffed the toes with as much tissue as

possible and hoped for the best. I made it to the end of the runway but as I turned around my left shoe went

flying off into the crowd! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry so I decided to smile and keep walking

with one shoe on and one foot on my tippy toes! It was at that moment I chose to see the funny side and I

think the crowd did too.

We have the power to choose how we respond in any situation. Our ability to see the humour in those

times can determine the quality of our response.

Getting Personal:

– What are you good at?

– What negative thoughts do you think most often?

– Can you turn these around by creating positive thoughts?

– How do you feel about yourself?

– Can you remember a time when you felt silly?

– How did you choose to react then?

– How would you react now?