Trigger (29 page)

I screwed up my mouth as I thought about all that I had just learned. Then I said, “Let me think about it.”

Elisa nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Okay, that’s better than a no.”

“True, but it could still be a no, so don’t tell him anything to get his hopes up.” But even as I said those words—-in a fake stern voice—-I knew the likelihood of it ending up a no was pretty much… zero.

Dylan

I sat in my car, driving toward the Improv on Melrose, a soft pain filling my stomach. Ever since I had decided I would do an open mike to try to win Nina back, I had worked on what to say when on stage. And the words had not come to me as easily as I’d hoped. In fact, what I had come up with was lame as hell, but I would just go with it, pray the audience would show me mercy and help me still. Maybe something better would come to me when I stood there, the spotlights shining on me, magically transform me into a master improviser. Maybe it would be like in a stupid chick flick and the perfect concoction of words would come to me that would not only make Nina talk to me again, but prompt the audience to give me a standing ovation.

I doubted this would happen, but at least I’d have given it my all. And if Nina didn’t want to listen to what I had to say, maybe it was for the best. I was after all going out of my way to be heard. Even if what I said didn’t come out the right way, she should appreciate that I was trying. In the end, Elle and I weren’t the same person and I wasn’t responsible for my sister’s actions. Nina couldn’t just assume I had been aware of the bullying.

I sighed deeply. Maybe Nina and I were not meant to be. Maybe all that had happened between us was only meant to teach me my family was nowhere near as honorable as I’d convinced myself, my sister and I in particular, despite growing up in a solid home and attending such great schools. Neither of us was in a position to guide anyone anywhere. Thinking about how I’d thought introducing my sister to Nina’s kid brother would help him get on the right track made my cheeks flame with embarrassment now. How incredibly conceited of me to assume that, as long as he associated with someone from a “good” family, he’d be okay. The kid was better off with Nina and their mother. Surely, the two of them would figure out on their own how to deal with the situation.

I parked my car and walked into the poorly lit comedy venue. A waitress was wiping down tables in the almost empty bar area. I had arrived early on purpose to be sure I’d get a spot to perform, as well as have time to find and bribe the MC and any other open-mikers if I had to. Only four people had signed up so far, and none of them was Nina. I sincerely hoped she hadn’t suddenly changed her mind about showing up tonight. According to her latest Facebook postings, she was planning on being here.

I found the sign-up list on the bar counter and put down the name Pete Jones on spot number six. I’d chosen to use this name so that Nina wouldn’t be alerted to my presence when she put down hers. It seemed to me that somewhere in the middle of the night would be the best time to perform. Not that it was likely I’d get to keep the number six spot. That would only happen if Nina claimed the number five spot.

I placed the pen next to the sign-up sheet and raised my gaze. I spotted the dark stage in the large performance room through a nearby doorway. The dark red velvet curtain that normally hid it from the bar area wasn’t fully closed. The long stage was staring at me from the other side of the deep room and a sharp jolt went through my gut as I pictured myself standing on it, unable to get a word out in front of all the people that would soon fill the room. Transfixed, I kept looking at the empty stage, the nightmare expanding within me all the while. Finally, I averted my eyes; in order to take the edge of my nerves, I needed to get some alcohol in my system. Even though it was only six-thirty, the bar was open.

I turned around to ask the bartender to pour me some vodka on the rocks and almost bumped into a curvy brunette who was standing right behind me. An embarrassingly unmanly gasp came out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

Nina smiled at me. “I was wondering how long you’d stand there and stare at the stage. What are you doing here anyway? Don’t tell me you’re actually going to
perform
.”

“Uh…” I found myself tongue-tied all of a sudden. Besides, I was no longer sure I was performing. The way Nina was looking at me with that big grin on her lips, it didn’t seem it was necessary.

Was it possible she hadn’t received any of my many voicemails or read my emails?

I didn’t think so. So if she wasn’t mad, why hadn’t she gotten in touch with me?

“Two Whitmans in one day so far,” she said. “Will I be running into your mom or uncle next?”

I wrinkled my brows. “Two Whitmans in one day? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Your sister came for a visit to my house today.”

I stared at Nina, who didn’t look irked at all with what she’d just told me. “Elle came to your
house
?”

“Uh-huh. To apologize in person for what she had done to me and Hannah. I didn’t realize she was the one who made the girls stop and called 911. I knew someone had, but not that it was she.”

“Yeah, it was she who did it. I know that doesn’t excuse what she did, but at least it makes it not quite as bad.”

Nina nodded. “That’s true.”

“And that’s all I knew about what went on in your school. She lied to me.” I felt my face darken a little.

“Right. She told me that, too.” Nina’s eyes were shining.

“Well, thank
God
for that.” I exhaled. “I tried to tell you this in my emails. Didn’t you get them?”

“Yes, I did.” That big grin on her face faded away.

“Why didn’t you respond? Did you even read them?”

“No, I deleted them as soon as I saw them. I thought it was best that we never had any more contact.” She gazed at the floor.

“Oh. But now it’s okay?” Only when she looked at me again and I noticed that another grin was pulling at the corners of her lips did I realize I was holding my breath.

“What do you think?” she said.

I pulled her close to me then. Her body pressed against mine felt so good I felt like I was airborne. She tipped her head back and gazed up at me with those slanted hazel eyes. So happy I thought my heart would burst, I smiled down at her.

“You don’t know how grateful I am that I ran into you here and you told me this,” I said. “This way I don’t have to get up on that damn stage and make a fool of myself.”

Her eyes widened a touch and she returned my smile. “So you
were
actually planning on performing something tonight then?”

“Yes. Right after your set. I was going to read a… poem I’d written that would hopefully convince you to talk to me again.”

“You actually wrote me a poem?”

“Well, I’m not sure what to call it. It’s just some sentences I put together that I hoped would show you just how much I love you and want you to be with me. But it’s pretty terrible.”

“I don’t care. I still want to hear it. No one’s ever written me a poem. And definitely not a
love
poem…” She grinned at me.

“Fine. You can read it then. It might not be as awful in writing as it sounds when I say it.”

I stuck my hand into the back pocket of my jeans and found the piece of paper I had scribbled the words I had planned to say on. I handed it to her. She pushed it back to me.

“No, please read it to me,” she begged. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think it is. Besides, it’s the thought that counts.”

I sighed. “Do I really
have
to?”

“Yes.” Nina looked so determined I had no choice but to do what she wanted.

“Okay, fine,” I said. I glanced at what I had written and cleared my voice:

“Nina, before you came into my life, I thought I had it all figured out. I was a vessel lost in the ocean in desperate need for the right woman at the helm. An amazing, strong woman who could set me straight, show me what it really meant to be in love—-”

“Okay, please stop,” a male voice behind us interrupted. Nina and I turned to face a grumpy-looking man in his fifties with thick steel-wire hair and beard. There were a couple of other people standing behind him, obviously waiting to put down their names on the list. “Grow a pair of balls, man! Here’s some advice. Just kiss her already and she’ll shut up.”

“I can do better than that,” I said. Then I grabbed Nina and plucked her up from the floor. As I carried her out of the Improv, her giggle rang through the night.

THREE MONTHS LATER

“Did you tell her yet?” Ricki whispered to me, referring to my mother. Ricki, Dylan, Elisa, my brother and I were sitting around the large table in the yard behind my mom’s house in Downtown L.A. Ever since Dylan and I got back together again, all of us gathered here for Sunday dinner every other week to sample my mom’s delicious Russian specialties. Dylan’s mother and uncle often joined us as well, but this week they couldn’t make it.

I turned to Ricki, who sat next to me. “You mean about the role I got in the movie?”

My new agent had been even better than I had expected, sending me out for more auditions than I could ever have hoped for. And it had paid off for both him and me, as I had already been cast twice for guest starring parts in sitcoms and once in a national commercial. But this last part took the prize for sure—-after one of his aides saw me perform at an open mike, Steven Spielberg offered me a supporting role in his new movie. I almost fainted when I got the phone call, asking me if I was available to film in two weeks. My great new agent negotiated several thousand more in payment for my performance than I would have been able to do on my own, even with the help of my old agent.

“Yes!” Ricki said. “She’ll be so happy for you, don’t you think?”

I smiled. Ricki was right; my mom
had
been very happy when I told her the good news yesterday over the phone. “Yes, she was ecstatic. Almost as ecstatic as when I told her Dylan had proposed to me.” The size of the stone on the ring I wore was so big I was still a little embarrassed walking around with it, even though you’d think after having worn it for almost two months I should be used to it by now. Ricki and my mom both kept telling me it was not tacky at all, though, and that I only felt this way because I was having a hard time getting used to the fact that I was about to GET MARRIED. They might be right. After all, the idea of me walking down the aisle in a white dress in a church still made my head spin, but I’d do it since that’s what Dylan wanted. Personally, I wouldn’t have minded a casual beach wedding with immediate family and close friends only, but since he made so many concessions for me, I figured I could make this one for him. Besides, maybe I would actually like it more than I thought I would.

I was learning that he was right in a lot of things he suggested for us. Annoying, but true.

“Well, I have some good news myself,” Ricki said.

“You do? What’s that?”

There was an unusually mischievous grin on my best friend’s red-painted lips. “I met someone…”

I felt my eyes go big. “Really? When?” When Ricki didn’t immediately answer, I realized that this must have been going on for a while. “Well, spill, girlfriend!”

Ricki sighed happily. “It’s that guy in my office who I’ve had a crush on forever. Aidan? He finally asked me out and we’ve been going out for over three weeks now.”

My mouth dropped open. “Oh, my God! You’ve been going out for over
three weeks
? How come you didn’t tell me anything?”

Ricki shrugged. “Don’t know. I guess I wanted it to go on for a little while before I said anything.” She gave me a shy little smile. “You know, not to jinx myself…”

I nodded. “I guess I can see that.”

The smile on Ricki’s face grew into a big, open one. I didn’t think I had ever seen her look so happy. I gave her a hug. “I’m so happy for you, Ricki. That guy could not have gotten a better girl.”

When I released her, Ricki pushed her lips into a pout and gave me a look full of attitude. “Mmm-hmm. That’s what
I’m
sayin’… And he better not screw it up!”

I laughed. “Well, I can tell that so far he’s doing all the right things.” I decided then that I’d wait to break my own big news until my mom came back out, let Ricki enjoy her moment a while longer.

My mom came into the garden a couple minutes later, carrying a big plate full of
Ptichie Moloko,
a.k.a. birds’ milk cake, my favorite dessert that consisted of sponge cake, chocolate and marshmallows, with whipped cream on the side. I knew I had better wait to reveal my news until she had put it down on the table or she’d drop it, and that would not be good.

I waited until everyone had loaded their plates full of dessert, putting extra on my own plate. As expected, Alex looked at me with a raised brow from the other side of the table where he sat next to Elisa. The two of them hit it off the second they were introduced, and it seemed like my brother had developed something of a crush on her.

“I thought you worried about getting fat,” he said and then shoved a spoon full of
Ptichie Moloko
into his mouth.

“I do,” I retorted, “but I figured that since I’m eating for two these days, I can afford some extra dessert.”

Everyone around the table except Dylan, who put a hand on my thigh and squeezed, did a double take. Mom stared at me, her eyes shining. “Are you… pregnant?”

I grinned at her. “Yep. Third month now.”

The glass my mother held fell to the ground, producing an earth-shattering
crash
, as her hands flew up to cover her gaping mouth. Then she ran over to me and hugged me so hard I soon stopped chastising myself for not making sure she’d been
completely
empty-handed when I broke the news; instead, I worried my arms would be full of bruises that would be difficult to cover when I shot the commercial tomorrow. But then I thought,
what the hell,
and returned my mom’s fierce hug with the same intensity.