By the time he was done speaking tears were streaming down her cheeks and she couldn’t fight her natural urge anymore. She climbed onto his lap, wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.
He liked
her
!
36
S
amair walked around for a while. It was early still, and it was a nice clear night. The air was crisp and cool, and it felt wonderful on her heated cheeks.
There was a school four blocks from the apartment, and Samair headed there as she tried to bury the hurt Joey had caused. She knew it was unintentional, that Joey was hurting from the situation with Mike and the shitty audition, and she’d been lashing out at whoever was closest. She knew Joey hadn’t meant to wound her.
But she also knew that those words had come from somewhere.
The schoolyard was empty and Samair made her way to the playground. One set of swings had the thick canvas seats and Samair was glad. She’d always loved to swing, but she couldn’t fit her wide hips into the wooden-seated ones on the next set. She settled in and kicked off, still thinking about Joey.
What she’d said was partially true, too. Like the energy that came from deep within that got her noticed when she wanted, she knew that things had sort of come easy for her. No, that’s not true. Things hadn’t come easy for her. Sure, it might seem like she’d always gotten what she wanted, but in all honesty, she worked hard for everything. Nothing had been handed to her. And no one but her knew just how hurtful being the black sheep in a family full of golden-fleece givers could be.
She wasn’t going to let Joey, or anyone else, belittle the hurt or the struggles that she’d gone through just because she hadn’t been the one jumped by a slimeball that afternoon. Yes, Val and Karl had been there for them both when they were needed, but, once again, it had been purely physical.
Joey had a man willing to wait, willing to romance her and become her friend before he became her lover. That was the biggest fantasy of all. And that was why it scared her friend.
The air whipped through Samair’s hair as she pumped her legs and went higher and higher. She knew she’d forgive Joey for her outburst. She loved her, and that was what friends did.
She also knew that she would say good-bye to Val soon, because she wanted a man who was willing to romance her, to be her friend and her lover, and the only way she was going to get what she wanted was to hold out for it.
37
S
amair slept on the love seat that night.
Joey was sound asleep in the bed when Samair got home from the playground, Mike lying right next to her but above the covers. The sight had made Samair’s heart swell, and she was glad her friend had decided to smarten up.
After a restless sleep she woke up to Joey’s make-up breakfast of bacon and eggs, with a side order of serious conversation.
“Mike’s gone already,” Joey said when she saw Samair’s quick glance at the bathroom.
She reached out to pull the full plate in front of her and Joey’s hand snaked out and covered hers. When their eyes met, Joey’s green ones were bright with tears. “I’m sorry.”
Samair turned her hand over to link their fingers. “I know you are, baby. It’s okay.”
“I don’t know what got into me, Sammie. I was hurt, and it just made me want to hurt someone else so I wasn’t alone. I didn’t mean any of it.”
“Yes, you did mean it. Maybe not all of it, but those things had to come from somewhere.” She squeezed Joey’s hand and smiled. “And it’s okay. You’re my soul sister, and I know you love me, just as I love you. That gives us permission to kick each other’s ass every now and then.”
A few sniffles and a hug, and they dug into their breakfast. “So, you’re really going to give Mike a chance? No more temper tantrums if he makes you wait for the nookie?”
Color flooded Joey’s cheeks and she turned to the fridge for more orange juice. “He’s a good guy, and he was right. You were both right. I need to stop thinking that all I have to offer is my body.”
A pang went through Samair. “It sounds like true love might really be happening here.”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’m going to let him romance me, and when we make love, it’s really going to mean something.”
Yay for her.
S
amair was late. Again.
It was Tuesday afternoon and she was meeting Vera for a late lunch. The morning had been a bit of a hectic one, to say the least.
Val had called to see how Joey was, and when Samair mentioned her lunch date there had been a tense silence. Then he’d just had two words. “Be careful.”
Not knowing quite what to make of that, Samair had struggled with nerves over meeting with his ex-wife, and over what to wear. And when she saw the polished brunette looking sophisticated and beautiful in a simple gray silk sheath, she felt a bit overdressed.
Instead of going with something flowing and carefree, as had been her style of late, Samair had chosen to go with her own personal version of a businesswoman. A clingy electric blue pencil skirt with a slit up the middle and a plain white button-down blouse. And, of course, a matching electric blue bra that could be seen through the blouse.
Pushing aside her insecurities, Samair straightened her skirt, summoned her inner vixen, and strode up to the booth Vera occupied. “What a lovely restaurant, Vera. I’ve never been here before.”
It was a bit out of her normal price range, but she figured it was Vera’s invitation, Vera’s bill.
“A family friend owns it and it’s one of my favorites.” She waved the waiter over and waited while Samair ordered her drink.
Samair fought the urge to order coffee, the grown-up drink of choice, and stayed true to herself with a Diet Coke. They exchanged small talk and Samair relaxed. Vera was being charming and flirtatious, and it was fun.
After the waiter brought their meals, the subject of the Fetish and Fantasy show came up.
“It was a lovely show the other night,” Vera said with a smile. “You’re very talented.”
A flush of pleasure mixed with pride. Samair had worked very hard, and it was nice to hear the praise from a virtual stranger. “Thank you. All I did was make the lingerie; Val did the rest.”
“Yes, Valentine is a very . . . driven man.”
For the first time Samair felt a tingle of unease over being with Val’s ex-wife. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and her instincts perked up. She asked Vera what she hadn’t been able to ask Val. “Is that what came between you two? His being driven?”
Her sleek eyebrows rose. “He hasn’t told you?”
“We don’t talk much when we’re together.”
“Ah yes, he’s always been very lusty as well.” Vera set down her fork and put her hands in her lap.
Samair sat straight and silent, waiting.
Finally Vera spoke. “Valentine’s first and only true love is that club, and when he didn’t spend a sufficient amount of time with me, I found other ways to amuse myself.”
“You mean other men?”
“A married couple, actually. It was a mutually satisfying relationship for us, and when Valentine showed no interest in swinging, I selected another partner to take part with me. Valentine didn’t like that, and he left me.” She picked up her teacup and met Samair’s gaze. “He still loves me, though, and I’m close to winning him back. I believe his affair with you makes him feel as if we’re even.”
“Even?” He’d left Vera because she’d had sex with someone else.
Pain knifed through her chest. If she’d needed confirmation that she was nothing more than a sexual partner to Val, that was it. He’d left his wife because he couldn’t stand to share her, and he’d invited another man into bed with them.
“That’s why I’m here, Samair. Valentine and I will be back together soon, and I’m not willing to share him anymore. I’d like you to leave him alone, and I’m willing to make it worth your while to do so.”
Be careful.
Val’s warning echoed in Samair’s mind and her spine stiffened. “Worth my while?”
“Yes.” Vera smiled, and for the first time Samair saw it as more predatory than seductive. “I think you have an amazing talent and I’d like to invest in your design label, on the condition that you stop chasing my husband.”
Samair’s mind raced. She fought through the emotions swamping her to focus on what was right in front of her. Was this Val’s way of making sure her one last fantasy came true at the same time he was cutting her loose?
Be. Careful.
She clasped her hands together under the table to still their trembling. “Invest how much?”
Victory shone in Vera’s eyes as she described how she would set Samair up in a studio, set up accounts for her use at various wholesalers for fabrics and notions. She’d use her family name and connections to see that Samair got a chance to show her stuff to some industry friends in New York.
Basically, Vera offered her the sun, the moon, and the stars—if she would agree to stop seeing a man who only saw her as a sex partner anyway.
A man who she’d somehow come to care for, without even really knowing. No. She knew him. She knew he was strong, and safe, and sane. He was honest and straightforward. He was also a nice guy, despite the tall, dark, and dangerous thing he had going on.
She did know him, even if she didn’t know his life story.
Shit, she’d spent four months getting to know Kevin before they’d even slept together, and they were together for almost two years before she caught him and Lisa together. She’d lived with Lisa for three years. Spending time together doesn’t always mean you know someone. And she really did feel she knew Valentine Ward.
She knew him enough to trust him, even when he didn’t tell her everything.
“It’s an amazing offer, Vera. It truly is, and I’m so very thankful you think I’m talented enough to back me like that. But I’m afraid I’m not interested.”
Vera’s eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. “He won’t stay with you. His nightclub means more to him than anything or anyone, and he’ll give you up when I make him the same offer.”
“That’s okay.” A weight lifted off her shoulders and she reached for her backpack. “I don’t know what the future holds as far as Val and I are concerned. What I do know is that Trouble is mine, and it will remain all mine. If I’ve learned anything from the past, it’s that I need to stay true to myself and my dreams, and being the sole power and inspiration behind Trouble is something I’m not willing to give up for anything.”
She took all the money from her wallet and tossed it on the table as she stood to leave. She didn’t want anything from Vera, not even lunch.
38
V
al stewed all day, wondering what Vera was up to with Samair. That bitch of an ex-wife of his was out to hurt him, and that was fine, but if she fucked with Samair he would show her what true hurt was.
“Will you calm the fuck down, man?” Karl said. “My head hurts just watching you.”
Val didn’t slow his pacing. “If you don’t like it, leave.”
“Shit man, I’m sorry. I know how much this club means to you.”
The club? He wasn’t even thinking about the club. And that showed just how far gone he was. He was still short on the money to make the final loan payment; he had less than twenty-four hours, and no idea how to come up with it. And all he could think about was Samair.
As if his thoughts had conjured her, she was there. “We need to talk.”
Karl stood and clapped him on the shoulder. “Call me if you need me, buddy.”
When they were alone, Samair closed the door to his office and went to sit on the sofa. He watched her, every muscle in his body tense as she sat back and crossed her legs. She met his gaze and he could read nothing in her baby blues.
“Your ex-wife says you’re getting back together.”
“She’s lying.”
Her lips tilted in a soft smile. “I figured that one out for myself when she tried to buy me off in exchange for not seeing you again.”
He leaned back against the edge of his desk and scrubbed a hand over his face, giving himself a moment to get his emotions under control. “That woman is amazing.” Hungry for a hint to what was going on, he studied Samair’s posture and her expression.
Val had never seen Samair look so closed off before. He wanted to ask what else Vera had said, but he couldn’t. Instead he asked what she’d offered.
“Pretty much everything I could want. A studio to design in, accounts with suppliers, connections with the fashion industry.”
Her gaze was intent on him as she rattled off the list, and a sour ball of disappointment settled in his gut. What irony that he was going to lose both the club and the woman who had reminded him there was more to life than work, at the same time, to the same woman.
After all, Samair had gotten everything she could want from him already. They’d covered the majority of sexual fantasies, with the exception of serious kink—which he didn’t think she was interested in. Plus he’d helped her get her own business up and running. He really had nothing else to offer her.
“It sounds like a dream come true. I’m happy for you.”
“I turned her down.”
His breath caught in his throat. “You turned her down?”
“As much as all of her promises sounded like a dream come true, they took away the most important aspect of making Trouble exactly that.”
Christ, she was killing him! Most women talked too much, but getting information out of Samair was worse than pulling teeth. “What’s that?” he asked.
“If I let her do that for me, it wouldn’t be mine,” she said simply.