True (25 page)

He nods.

“Remember when you asked me who Ashley Danielle was?”

“Yes.”

“Fire and Ash is her company. Well, Stiller’s wife and Ashley’s company. They design jewelry, and I asked to have the pendant custom made for you.”

I couldn’t decide how I felt about this information. The name Fire and Ash does make sense, with Stiller’s wife having all that red hair and Ashley being, well, Ash. I guess.

“There was never anything between me and Ashley. Ever. When you brought up her name, I didn’t know how to better explain my interactions with her without telling you about the gift.”

“Honestly, Alex. I would have preferred to know. I think it would have made a difference to me at the time.”

“I realize that now.” He replies. “That’s just one thing on my long lists of regrets this past year.”

“God, I know. I regret…” He cut me off.

“Stop. I don’t want to talk about that night anymore. I think we’ve said everything we can about it and I really don’t want to go back there again.”

“I agree.” I was relieved that he felt that way. I knew that it was something we would never forget but at least I had his forgiveness. “Alex, I felt like we were drifting apart. You hardly ever called when you were away, and it made me feel so unwanted. I hate that it happened to us.”

“That is also on my list of regrets. There were times where I could have made the effort to call, but I would sometimes decide to put off calling until I found more time to talk, which would never seem to come, or it was so late that I thought you would be sleeping.”

“You know you can always wake me.”

“I know. I think there were times when I was just lazy. Other times I was a stubborn ass. I knew how much you wanted me to call and for some sick reason denying you was a way of showing defiance. It’s a very shitty way to think, and I honestly don’t have a real good excuse. I was so stupid. It never meant that I didn’t love you and that I wasn’t thinking about you. You and the girls are the whole reason I work as hard as I do. It was a tough lesson to learn. I promise you I will never make you feel like that again. With my new position as director, I will hardly ever have to travel, and if I do, things will be a lot different, baby. Please believe me.”

I did and without hesitation,
so I kissed him softly before snuggling in closer while my fingers traced the A & C symbol on his chest. The very same design as the necklace. Last night he let me see it for the first time. He had gotten it the day he came over to the house drunk. It was an impulsive decision and a way to hang on to a piece of us. He said that he created the image himself and took it to Fire and Ash to have it made. Knowing that it was there over his heart this whole time; in the foyer, during mediation, and when he was out jogging, brought tears to my eyes. God, I love him.

I do feel a little foolish about the way I fixated on there being something between him and Ashley Danielle now that I know there was never any reason to worry. I was bitter and jealous which corrupted my mind and destroyed my ability to make good choices.

“So what about you and Will?” My eyes widen a bit at the thought of hurting Will. I haven’t even thought of him once.

“There is no Will and me. I’ll call him later.” He was very good to me, and I don’t want to hurt him. I’ve learned my lesson on breaking hearts, so I vowed to call him tomorrow to end things. I’ll admit that deep down the age difference bothered me. It may not be a big
deal to some but for me it was difficult. I thought about him and Kendra and how good they looked together, before the puking of course. I sensed that she had a thing for him. Will may be the right person to straighten her out. Suddenly I wanted that for the both of them.

“Did you two ever…?” His voice trailed off.

“No. No. Things never got that far between us.”

“What about anyone else?” He asks hesitantly.

“Alex, there hasn't been anyone since you. I might have made some bad decisions, but I have never given that part of myself to anyone but you. Ever.”

He slid down so that his eyes could meet mine as he considered my words, for truthfulness most likely. I confidently stared right back because I had nothing to hide. He seemed satisfied with what he saw because he pulled me to him for a long, lazy kiss. Our tongues connect slowly as we melted into each other. When he finally released me, I had one last question.

“Kimmie?” One word asked it all.

“There is no
Kimmie and me. There never really was. She was a great person, but she wanted more from me. At first she claimed to be fine with taking things slow but after a while I just couldn't give her what she wanted.”

“Did you…?” My voice trails off because I couldn't say the words allowed. He instantly got my meaning.

“No. No. We never…” He cleared his throat. “I tried but I couldn’t. I know it might hurt to hear this, but I was in a really bad place and all I wanted to do was forget you by losing myself in someone else. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. She eventually became frustrated and took it as personal rejection. I decided that it wasn’t fair to her, so I ended things.”

“When?”

“The night I came over and saw you with Will. I didn’t realize until that point that I was only keeping her around to see your reactions. I wanted to make sure you continued to hurt as much as I did. I knew that she bothered you, but I was surprised by your attempt to accept it. If I’m honest, it hurt to think that you didn't care that I’d moved on. Throwing Kimmie in your face didn’t make me feel better. It actually made it worse. Then when I saw you with him that night, my reasons for keeping her didn’t make sense. You weren't sitting at home alone anymore. You were moving on with someone else. The realization that I had made a mistake ending things with you hit me like a ton of bricks that night. The only emotion I allowed myself to feel for so long was anger, and I was exhausted.  So I decided to clear my head and my surroundings in order to find peace.”

Oddly, I understood his explanation. He was hurting and trying to come up with ways to make me feel as bad as he did. What he didn’t realize is that I was punishing myself far worse.

“It was hard but I had to find a way to let go of all of the hurt and regret. I think you gave me that last night. What we shared felt like making peace with our past.” I admitted.

“I felt it too. When I walked away, I thought I’d lost you forever until I got your text. God you have no idea how happy it made me to get that.”

“I didn’t know that I was going to do that until the very moment I sent it. The ocean air reminded me of our wedding and how happy I was that day. I wanted us back.

“I wanted us back to, baby. I’m really glad you sent that text.”

“So am I.”

He pulled me close to his chest. “I love you so much it hurts. The past year has been so hard. Not once did I ever stop loving you or stop wishing every second of the day that things could be different. We both lost our way, and everything spiraled out of control so fast. What I know for sure is that I don’t want to live without you anymore. Let's promise each other that we will never do this again. Whatever it takes to make this work, we'll do it.

“I promise, Alex. I will do anything for you. I hurt every day that we were apart. I'm never letting you go.” We lay in silence, with our legs entwined while our thoughts roamed.

“So what happens now?” I ask hesitantly.

“Whatever we want to happen. We are proof that true love can’t be denied. We were brought back together for a reason, and I don’t want to waste a single minute of our second chance.”

“Me either.”

“Good, then the next thing we need to take care of is you becoming my wife again. Another item on the list of things I regret.”

“Yes, let’s get married,” I agree instantly. “But when?”

“Today.” His answer causes a jolt of excitement in my chest. “Let's get dressed. In fact put on the dress you wore last night. I really want to rip it off you later.” He gives my behind a smack as he exits the bed. My heart is so full of joy it feels like it could burst. I quickly get out of bed and join him in the shower, and we linger a bit longer than necessary feeling each other up, which eventually leads to hot shower sex. We also decided to work on giving Jordyn a reason to start calling herself “big” with sister being the first name on the list.

Later that night in Las Vegas, I became Mrs. Alex Turner...again. Macy also didn't mind keeping the girls for just one more night while we enjoyed our honeymoon.

We stood before each other with our hearts open wide and vowed that nothing will ever pull us apart again. Together we recited words from his proposal to me ten years ago.

“Our love is true and undeniable. I need you like I need to breathe. Like a puzzle piece that only fits in one place, you are my home, the only place I belong.”

We now know what it's like to lose each other, and we realize what a gift it is to find our way back.

I am his, and he is mine.

Forever.

My True.

Kimmie and Justin’s story

(
What? How is that possible?)

You’ll see…

Early 2015

There are so many people to thank! It really took a village to get here and I am so grateful for you all!

Tony, you are my true and the inspiration behind Alex. After all these years, it’s still you and me, babe.

My sweet boy, mommy loves you for being so patient while I wrote my “story.”

My real life “DeeDee”s, Christa & Kat. Thanks for allowing me to share parts of your lives. I couldn’t have made some of that stuff up if I tried. I don’t know where I would be without you. XO

My family and friends who have known about this book for some time and let me talk non-stop about these characters and even asked questions that prolonged the discussions.

My editor, whose full name we shall not speak aloud. This was not your type of book but you helped me anyway. Thanks girl! I’ll convert you soon enough.

My Darlings, Maggie, Maria & Donna for your constant words of encouragement. I heart you girls and I hope you know it!

My Book Divas and enablers, Trista and Missy. Thanks for being book obsessed with me every day!