True (21 page)

“Mommy, Miss.
Kimmie’s favorite color is pink just like mine.” Figures.

“Mama! Miss.
Kimmie said that we could go for a ride on her horse next time it’s our turn to go to Dada’s.”

Mother fuck!

I could not have been more disappointed in Alex’s rebound choice.

Yes, I’m going with rebound as the excuse for this relationship. I mean come on. Let’s tick off all of the reaso
ns. Her name is Kimmie. Is she five? She’s somehow acquainted with a real life princess. Like I believe that. She rides horses. Well, I actually do like horses, so whatever. Her favorite color is pink and in the pastel spectrum I presume. Really? Is she a fucking Barbie? I bet she’s blonde, a natural blonde. I wonder if her horses are also pink. She probably has a unicorn too. Maybe she farts magic, and she sings to mice and little blue birds.

Dee and I made a whole night out of discussing the possibilities.

We could not have been further from the truth.

Jordyn was having her 4th birthday party and insisted that Miss.
Kimmie be invited. After all, it was a princess party and Miss. Kimmie had promised to bring her princess friend.

I decided to not be “that girl” and make a big deal out of it. It was Jordyn’s party, and it wasn’t about me. Like it or not,
Kimmie was in our lives, or at least for right now anyway.

“Daddy and Miss.
Kimmie are here!” Liv jumps off the counter and sprints to the door as she sees Alex’s car pull up to the house. My heart felt like lead in my chest, and I began to feel a little bit nauseous. I couldn’t believe this was about to happen. A hand squeezes my shoulder, and I turned to see Dee behind me with a reassuring smile.

“It’s going to be fine.” I nod at her and turn back to arranging the cupcakes with pink frosting and little tiaras into the three-tiered stand. “You look hot by the way.” She winks before running after little Luke. I went with one of my favorite floral maxi dresses. It fits well up top, enhancing my cleavage, but not to the point of being inappropriate for a child’s birthday party. I felt good, I know I had lost some weight, mainly due to stress but I've been paying better attention to what I am eating, too.

“They’re here!” Jordyn squeals as she pulls on the hand of a pretty brunette with big blue eyes. Instead of the Stepford Wives look I was expecting, she was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a shimmery white racer back tank that showed off an awesome half sleeve tattoo on her right arm.

“Mommy, this is Miss.
Kimmie.”

Fuck me.

I quickly plastered on a fake smile.

Be graceful. Make her wonder why you're not being bitchy. Disarm her.

“Kim, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Courtney.” I start to put out my hand to shake hers, but that would be too much. Instead, I go with a floppy wave. She beams back at me, clearly relieved that I didn’t bite her head off.

“Hi Courtney. Please call me
Kimmie. Everyone does.” I nod at her before she turns to introduce a stunning dark-skinned woman next to her. “This is my best friend, Elle.” Elle steps forward and greets me.

“It’s so nice to meet you Courtney. You have a lovely home. Thank you for having us.” So stinking polite the pair of them. This whole sweet exchange was making my stomach hurt.

“Mama, Miss Elle is a princess.” I glance down at Jordyn, who is clutching Elle’s hand, before looking at my guest. “Really?” I say with genuine enthusiasm. Elle nods.

“
My father is king a of small island off the coast of Africa, but it’s an old family title and really just a formality. So technically, I am a princess. I can assure you it’s nowhere near as glamorous as Jordyn and Olivia seem to think.”

I had to choose my words carefully because I wasn’t sure how these things worked. I detected a slight accent when Elle spoke, but it was clear she’d been in the States for some time. She also had a tattoo on her inner wrist. Clearly,
Kimmie and Elle liked their ink.

“Did you go to school in the U.S., Elle?”

“Yes, I have family in New York City. I used to visit America often when I was a child and eventually went to NYU. That’s where I met Kimmie. We’ve been best buds ever since.”

“Well, that’s great.” I decided I was done with the
Kimmie and Elle show. I knew that Elle and Kimmie were speaking, but I didn’t hear a word of it, though I nodded as if I was listening. I glanced behind them to see that Alex was looking at me, studying me. He then spoke and snapped me out of my trance. “Hey,” He spoke to the two women. “There’s Cole. Let’s head out back.”

“Do you need help with anything, Courtney?”
Kimmie asks sweetly. I started to say no before she began speaking and totally blocked my attempt at refusal. “Oh, you still have all of these cupcakes to set up. Oh, and that fruit still needs to be sliced.” Before I knew it, Kimmie, Elle and I were moving in perfect sync in the kitchen as they helped me with the last minute preparations before all the guests arrived. As much as I wanted to hate her, I couldn’t. I even found myself laughing with them.

Damn it. I would totally hang out with these two. I could see what Alex saw in her. She was beautiful, not overdone but natural and simple. She was nice, and it was clear she had a big heart. She and Elle talked about the summers she spent in Elle’s country teaching English to the children.
Kimmie was fluent in Elle’s native language, too, because sometimes Elle would ask her to help translate a word for her into English. We soon found out that we had all read the latest book craze about a hot billionaire. I was actually having fun and that pissed me off.  I could also tell that they weren’t doing this to impress me. This was who they were. Awesome people.

And that hurt.

A fucking lot.

You always think you are the best someone has ever had. What happens when it looks like they’ve found even better.

After the party, there was a bit of a lull in the activities. While the remaining kids were running around in the backyard, I decided to clean up what I could. Dee was having a conversation with Elle, clearly fascinated by whatever the topic was, so I caught her eye and indicated for her to keep an eye on the kids while I went inside to clean up.

I heard low murmurs in the kitchen as I round the corner. What I saw stopped me dead in my tracks. Alex was leaning against the counter with one hand resting on
Kimmie’s hip as she leaned next to him, their faces only a few inches from each other as he stared down at her with a lazy smile. The same smile that used to be for me. He whispered something to her, and she giggled.

God, that felt like a kangaroo kick to the
cooch.

He
suddenly sensed my presence and his eyes immediately found mine. I saw a flash of guilt as he quickly stood up and stepped away from Kimmie. She followed as she turned to me with a bright smile. “Here let me help you.” She grabbed the items in my hand and went to start loading the dishwasher. I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over at Alex. I knew he could see the hurt in my eyes. I was shocked to see the sadness on his face as he whispered. “Sorry,” then walked past me and out of the kitchen.

*****

“It’s my own fault. I deserve everything that is happening to me.”

The party is over, and the girls wanted to have a sleepover with Dee’s boys. The kids are all upstairs fast asleep after a day full of cake and bouncy houses. Dee and I are sitting in my backyard finishing off the last of the wine from the party.

“I mean it, Dee. This is exactly what I get.” I take a large gulp of my glass before slumping back down on my lounger.

“Court. You can’t beat yourself up forever. Yes, you made a mistake, but you don’t deserve to walk in on your ex-husband and his new girlfriend making goo-goo eyes at each other. In your own damn house.”

“And she’s fucking perfect. She’s gorgeous and nice. Hell, my own kids love her already. I fucked up, Dee. I fucked up so bad.”

“Court…”

“No. No, I have nobody to blame but myself. I did this. I fucking did this to myself. I made a bad choice, and I’m paying for it. My God, am I paying for it.” I reached over and poured more wine. “I bet he’s fucking her right now.”

“Courtney, stop!” Dee sits up from her lounger to face me. “You have to let this go. If you don’t, you're going to make yourself sick. Don’t do this anymore, okay? You can’t change what happened.” I remain silent, and I let my head roll from side to side, as I writhe in agony.

“It hurts, Dee. It physically hurts to think about him being happy with her. I am a selfish bitch. I don’t want him to be happy with anyone else but me. I can’t help it. I’ll never be okay with him moving on.”

“Honey, he has moved on and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. This is your life. This is it. You are a divorced thirty-three year-old woman. But listen to me,” she grabs my face to stop it from rolling around and forces me to look at her. “You are beautiful. Kimmie’s got nothing on you.” I snort and try to pull my head away. “No listen, you deserve happiness, too. Life goes on. Your life must go on.” My mind wanders to all the people I know who have divorced and remarried. Is it possible to find love again? God, the ache in my chest intensifies.

“Will I ever stop feeling like this?” I ask.

“Of course you will. In fact,” Dee releases my face finally and lifts one of her expertly sculpted eyebrows. “I’m going to set you up on a date. I know just the guy, too!” She claps her hands giddily, clearly pleased with herself.

“What? No,
nononono. No dates.”

“Yes.” She says with finality.

“No.” I reply with the same tone.

“Yes.” She repeats.

“Why?”

“Because it will be fun.”

“No, it won’t.”

“Yes, it will. You’ll see.”

And just like that she somehow got me to agree to go on a damn date.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Present
.

All the rules of dating have changed so much that it’s overwhelming. I don’t remember it being this hard. I don’t remember guys being this creepy or maybe I was so naive, and I never realized it.

It turns out, my best friend, the person who knows me best in the world has shit taste in men for me.

First, there was her chiropractor, Rod.

Yeah, his name was Rod. Strike one.

He was shorter than me, and I’m five foot, six inches. So half a strike because he can't really help his height, but still.

Every time I spoke, he seemed so riveted. The noises he made sounded like moans of ecstasy. Like my words were mental masturbation for him.

“So you’re an accountant, huh?
Mmmm, Nice. Nice.”

“Unh, that chicken does sound good. I like the way you think. I like it a lot.” Licks lips.

I don’t know if he thought he was trying to seduce me with what he perceived as sexiness, but all he managed to do was creep me out. Strike two, three, four and five!

Next, there was Giancarlo. I have to be honest and say that he was sexy. He played on a recreational soccer league with Cole. So he was tall, athletic and could drop any girl’s panties in two seconds flat with his smile. The problem was; he actually tried to get into as many panties as possible on our date. His eyes were always roaming, I never felt like he was there with me, more like I was there with him. Like an annoying fly that buzzed around him and demanded his attention from time to time. I didn’t even make it through the end of dinner with him before he was openly flirting with our waitress. I excused myself by saying I was going to the bathroom, and I immediately drove myself home.

Oh yeah, another weird rule of dating. Driving myself to my dates out of fear I would be getting in the car with a crazy person who would chop me up before the end of the night. I needed to have my own transportation in case I needed to bolt out of there. Luckily, it was a good plan. I am pretty sure Giancarlo wasn’t even aware that I’d left.

I hated dating.

*****

I agree to meet up with the girls for drinks at a bar on the oceanfront. Dee’s cousin Kendra was in town, and we all decided to have a girl’s night out. After the blind date fiasco, Dee agreed to pay for my dinner and drinks. I made my way through the crowded restaurant. It was a nice, very low key kind of place. I knew immediately where my friends were by the loud laughter coming from one of the high top tables by the bar.

“Courtney!” Kendra hops off her chair and shimmies my way. Kendra oozed sex appeal and secretly I was always a little envious of her. She seemed to have all of the right moves, the way her hips naturally swayed in a seductive manner when she walked, the way she shamelessly flirted with any man in the room. Her confidence was off the charts. She was hot and independent. Single girl personified.

“My new sexy friend, Gabe, over here,” Kendra shoots a flirty smile to the bartender who I swear blushes a little. “Has made a special cocktail to celebrate your new chapter.” We each grab a martini glass and toast. The drink was really good, not too strong, and not too fruity.