True (11 page)

The feeling continued when Tyler had no problem watching ID TV with me and listening to a medical examiner explain how he had used the clues left on a murder victim’s body to solve the crime.

We were snuggled up on my bed, Tyler’s back propped against the wall, me sprawled across the mattress, head and upper body in his lap. His fingers lazily stroked across my arm.

“So that’s what you want to do?” he asked. “Comb over dead people?”

“Yes.” I knew that most people thought my particular interest in forensics was bizarre and that I must be missing a compassion gene in order to be able to slice into people. But the opposite was true—I wanted to give answers about the dead to the living. If I had an iron stomach and a logical mind with great memorization skills, what better way to put them to use than conducting autopsies and giving families peace of mind? Or at least closure.

Maybe it would have been more strategic to keep my future plans on the down low, or at the very least, not expose Tyler to the reality of it on a TV show filmed in a morgue, but that seemed dishonest. This was me.

“You are one bad-ass chick, Rory. You look so sweet and naïve, but damn, your pretty face hides an amazing mind.”

The praise made me feel a little giddy. I smiled up at him. “Thank you. And the human body is fascinating, what can I say?”

His eyebrows went up and down. “I can’t argue with that.”

I laughed, enjoying the easy feel of lying on him, my face next to his stomach, his arms wrapped around me. I realized that very rarely did I touch anyone. Kylie was a hugger and she laid one on me every few days, and I returned it, liking that clear indicator of true friendship. My dad occasionally patted my head or moved me forward with his hand on the small of my back. I had kissed a guy or two. But that was it. Since my mother died, I hadn’t been touched. I hadn’t realized I had missed it.

But now it felt like the nerve endings of my skin were awakening after dormancy. With more than a million sensory receptors distributed throughout my skin, every single one seemed to have been lazily stroked into awareness by Tyler. My Meissner’s corpuscles were registering every touch and greedily responding with shivers, goose bumps, and a rise in serotonin.

It felt freaking awesome, and I never wanted to go back to a world where I existed behind a metaphorical glass wall watching everyone else interact with each other. No matter what happened, if Tyler changed his mind and decided tomorrow he no longer wanted to hang out with me, I would have that knowledge moving forward. I would be different. Not that I wanted to think about the future or an end or anything. I just wanted to enjoy the moment.

“Fuck me, that is that guy’s large intestine laying on the table.” Tyler cocked his head slightly, a grimace on his face as he paused in the act of lifting his bottle of water.

“It’s in the way,” I told him. “There are a lot of organs packed into our chest and abdominal cavities.”

“That’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said,” he teased.

“Really? Then I guess I need to step it up.”

“I’d like to hear that. Talk dirty to me, Rory.”

I opened my mouth, wanting to accept the challenge. But nothing came out. My mind went totally blank. We both laughed.

“That’s about what I thought,” he said. “I guess I’ll have to be dirty enough for both of us.”

“Okay.” I stared up at him, wondering if tonight was the night. If he had bought condoms. If he was going to yank my shirt off over my head and make me feel more of what I had in the car.

He seemed to know exactly the direction my thoughts had taken. “Kylie said she was coming back in like ten minutes, remember?”

Damn. “Yeah.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” he warned.

“Like what?” I asked.

He snorted. “Yeah. The innocent act isn’t working. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

I did. It made me feel sexy and powerful when his head descended, his intent clearly to kiss me.

The door flew open. “I’m back,” Kylie announced. “What are you guys doing? Gross, is that a dead guy on TV? What is he doing with that saw? Sick.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how she doesn’t pass out,” he said. “Air is always leaving her mouth, but there can’t possibly be time for her to inhale between words.”

Tapping his leg in reprimand, I sat up, too content to truly be disappointed at the interruption. “Yes,” I told Kylie. “That’s a saw. He has to get through the rib cage to the heart. It’s a very extensive process and requires bone cracking.”

Ironic, wasn’t it, that the physical heart was so hard to reach, yet my emotional heart seemed to have been found with very little effort on Tyler’s part.

Chapter Eleven

“Girls Night!” Kylie shouted, arms up over her head as she dropped down low on the dance floor on orders from Flo Rida.

I wasn’t going to attempt that move, knowing I’d end up on my ass. And not in a good way. I just bounced from side to side, pretending that I knew how to dance. The reality was, I had a respectable sense of rhythm, but my arms never seemed to coordinate with my legs. I tended to look like a heron searching for a fish when I attempted dances that had choreographed moves.

Fortunately, it was a typical Saturday night at the club just off campus, and everyone was too drunk to notice what I was or wasn’t doing. I did enjoy dancing, just not when someone was recording it on a phone. Kylie, Jess, Robin, and I were out for the night, and on strict instructions from Kylie, no guys were allowed. After a week of seeing Tyler every day, I was mostly okay with that. He was working anyway, and I didn’t want to be one of those girls who started seeing a guy and then ignored her friends completely. Then when he turned out to be an ass, she called and cried on you for two hours. Then got back together with him and promptly blew you off again.

I would not be that girl.

So I was out with my friends because one, I enjoyed their company, and two, if I wound up sobbing over a bag of Doritos, which was a very real possibility, I wanted legit sympathy.

Though I would have preferred hitting the mall for some purse- and scarf-shopping or going to the movies, here we were at Republik, sharing a pitcher of beer and fending off drunken frat boys who moved in on us like a school of fish, undulating waves of them, splitting around us and honing in on a target, which was usually Kylie. Actually, there wasn’t much fending off going on. Normally the rules of a girls night were strict in that there could be nothing beyond a minute or two of casual flirting with a guy. No disappearing. No hookups. None of which had ever applied to me, but the point was, we were supposed to stay together and drive men insane with desire from our rebuffs and cumulative girl-power friendship.

That motto seemed to have left the building with Kylie and Robin’s sobriety. They were both dancing with a minimum of two guys at any given moment, and Robin had already made out with one guy and let another do a shot off her boobs. It wasn’t even eleven yet.

I was cool with all of that. I knew that Kylie was struggling to figure out what she was doing with Nathan, and we all needed to blow off steam before finals in a couple of weeks. But what I was not cool with was the fact that Jessica and Kylie were throwing random guys in my direction with encouraging nods and tongue wiggling.

On my own, I wasn’t attracting much attention, which worked just fine for me, but my roommates seemed determined to throw one hapless friend of a hot guy after another at me. I actually felt sorry for them since they were bound to be disappointed that they were stuck dancing next to the one girl in the group not wearing a miniskirt or a drunken smile of welcome. In a pair of jeans, chunky striped sweater, and ballet flats with a bow in my hair, I wasn’t exactly sex personified.

“What’s your name?” one yelled into my ear, adjusting his baseball cap and looking determined to make the best of having drawn the short stick.

“Rory,” I shouted in his direction.

“Tori?”

Sure, why not? I nodded.

“I’m Mike.” He stuck his hand out.

Which was kind of funny, considering we were packed onto a sweaty dance floor with red lights strobing over us at random pulses guaranteed to give someone a seizure. But I took his hand and quickly shook before letting him go. He was wearing a John Deere sweatshirt and giant gym shoes that landed on my foot when he moved as awkwardly as me.

“Shit. Sorry.”

Kylie came up behind me and gave me an over-the-shoulder bear hug, shouting into my ear, “He’s cute! You should totally go for it!”

Feeling like I was wearing a blond throw blanket, I ignored her, starting to get annoyed. It wasn’t that unusual for my friends to suggest I flirt with a guy. What was unusual was that they were doing it now, when they knew I was spending a ton of time with Tyler, who they had
paid
to de-virginize me. Which he hadn’t. Not yet, anyway. While we had found plenty of time to make out, there was always a reason it didn’t go any further, whether it was time, privacy, or lack of condoms.

So he hadn’t complied with their request, but they didn’t know that. They thought I had slept with him, was sleeping with him. Wasn’t that what they had intended? So now why were they determined to make me see the charm in a random redneck?

“Do you want a drink?” Mike asked when Kylie bounced off of me and grabbed the hand of Mike’s friend, forcing him to spin her.

I shook my head. “No, thanks. I’m actually seeing someone, and . . .”

Jessica cut me off. “It’s just a drink! And you’re fucking Tyler, not dating him. There’s a big difference.”

Okay, now that pissed me off. That was a brutal blow on the dance floor. Breath coming in anxious bursts, I apologized to Mike. “I’m sorry, I need to go.”

He looked simultaneously horrified and intrigued. I don’t think he had viewed me as a girl who would screw for the sake of screwing, and while I might have been diminished in his moral opinion, I had shot up in the ranks of his interest. Given the chance, I suspected he would double his efforts to talk to me now there was proof that I put out. “No problem. I’ll be here.”

I wouldn’t. Without even acknowledging Jessica, I left the dance floor and went straight out the front door of the bar, ditching my coat at the coat check. I needed fresh air. I needed to not lose it completely. Knowing Tyler was usually bored at work and would answer me, I pulled my phone out of my purse and tapped out a text.

Can you pick me up at Republik when you get off work?

He was done at midnight and it couldn’t come soon enough for me.

His response came right away.

Sure. What happened to girls nite?

Disaster. Thx. C u ltr.

Jessica burst out of the club behind me.

“Rory! Rory, what? What’s wrong?”

Turning, I screamed at her. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that you think it’s perfectly okay to tell I guy I was not even remotely interested in that I have a fuck buddy! Which, for your information, I do not. I’m still a virgin!”

Kylie came out in time to hear this pronouncement. “What? You said you had sex with Tyler!”

“I didn’t say that. You just assumed it. Yes, we’ve messed around. No, we haven’t had actual penetration.” The doorman shot me a freaked-out look. I lowered my voice, shivering in the cold but too furious to go back into the crowded club and act like nothing was wrong. “This is more than sex. We’re spending time together.”

They gave each other a nervous look, and I knew what they were thinking. That this wasn’t the deal, and what the hell was Tyler doing?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Jessica said. “And maybe we weren’t being subtle in there, but the thing is, we’re kind of worried about you. We don’t want you to get too invested in Tyler.”

“Why, because you think he’s using me? For what?”

Kylie shook her head. “He’s just not . . . a relationship kind of guy. And you’re a relationship kind of girl.”

“How do you know that? I’ve never had one! So who is to say who is capable of a relationship and who isn’t? Or is it just that you don’t think Tyler could ever want a relationship with
me
?”

It hurt, because that was my fear too, the one that snuck up on me from time to time in the dark and briefly snuffed out my happiness. Tyler wasn’t calling what we had a relationship but it was
something
. A friendship with an attraction at the very least. I had to believe that. I did believe that. But they pricked my confidence with their words.

“That’s not it. We just want you to be careful,” Jessica said. “He has a lot of experience.”

Unfortunately, I remembered quite clearly that some of that had been with her. Was she somehow jealous? Was it different now that it wasn’t all about a quick hookup they were in control of? God, I hoped not. “You shoved me at Tyler,” I reminded them.

“We didn’t think . . .”

“That he would be interested in me for more than five minutes,” I said flatly.

My lip started to tremble and tears welled in my eyes. I couldn’t help it.

“Oh!” In horror, Kylie saw that I was fighting the urge to cry. “No! That’s not what we meant . . . Oh, shit, this is awful!” And she burst into drunken tears.

Which made me start crying.

Which in turn had Jessica struggling not to cry. She sniffed a lot as Kylie and I sobbed, my vision blurring from my tears. I wasn’t even drunk. I just felt like I was on emotional overload.

“We’re sorry, Rory, God, this isn’t how I thought this would go at all,” Jessica lamented. “I thought you would be, you know, like
initiated
by Tyler, then you’d feel more confident and go on and find a nice guy.”

“Tyler is a nice guy.” I sucked in a few deep breaths and tried to get a grip on myself.

Kylie wiped at her eyes, smearing mascara all over her cheeks.

“Is he?” Jessica looked dubious about that declaration. “I picture you more with a nerd. Like a guy who is going to be the next Bill Gates.”

I managed to stop the flow of tears and hugged myself to stem the shivering. “I appreciate that you guys care so much, but honestly, I want to hang out with Tyler. It’s fine, okay? I’m not stupid. But I’m having fun.”

“We just don’t want you hurt.”

“I know. But maybe you can just let me make my own choices, and if I screw it up then you can buy me ice cream and give me advice, okay? I’d really rather pick my own guys. No more attempted fix-ups.” Especially if they involved money changing hands.

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” Jessica said. “I have to admit, I wouldn’t like it if you tried to fix me up with someone.”

Kylie nodded. “I just love you so much. You’re my BFF and I just want you happy.”

That made tears fill my eyes again. Which made her start crying again.

Jessica swiped at her eye. “Oh my God, stop. You’re both killing me. And I think I need a group hug.”

I did too. I didn’t object at all when they crowded me into a hug, and we all sniffled in the cold, my teeth chattering, Kylie’s bare arms covered in goose bumps.

“What the hell is going on?” Robin asked.

We split apart and saw her standing in the doorway, looking disheveled. The bouncer had actually moved another three feet away from us, and he was shoving his hands in his pockets, studiously pretending he hadn’t heard any of our drama.

“I just had a moment,” I told her.

“I thought you guys left me alone. I was freaking. I am way too drunk to be left alone.”

“We wouldn’t leave you,” Kylie assured her.

I felt a little guilty that my intention had been to leave. But I had known Kylie and Jess wouldn’t leave Robin, and I wasn’t going to feel guilty for calling them out on throwing guys at me. I went for my phone to let Tyler know that the crisis was averted, and he didn’t have to pick me up.

Only there was no phone in my purse.

“Where’s my phone?” I asked, frantically pawing through my purse. “I can’t find it!”

“Did you leave it in the room?” Jessica asked, going into her own tiny wristlet bag.

“No.”

Kylie and Robin were doing the same thing as Jessica, scrambling for their phones. It was a chain reaction of paranoia, but while they all looked up relieved a second later, mine was still missing. I glanced around the sidewalk but I didn’t see anything. “Shit!”

“Are you sure you brought it?”

“Yes. I just used it!” Where could it have gone in the ten minutes since I had texted Tyler? We had been standing on the sidewalk the entire time.

“Oh, crap, here it is,” Kylie said, leaning over and retrieving my phone from a giant puddle of dirty water in the street. She held it gingerly out from her body, and it dripped onto the sidewalk.

“Great.” I took it from her, my hand instantly covered in cold water. I wiped it on my jeans and tapped the screen. Nothing happened. I popped the battery out and tried to dry it before reinserting it. The screen was still black. “Oh my God, this is so annoying.”

“That totally sucks,” Jessica said. “But can we go back inside? I can’t feel my fingers or my nipples.”

“Yeah.” I was freezing myself. But now I couldn’t text Tyler back and tell him not to show up. “Jess, can I borrow your phone? I need to text Tyler.”

“No! This is Girls’ Night.” She yanked the door open and a blast of warm air and loud music hit us.

“No, I mean I need to let him know . . .” I trailed off as she whirled away from me right out onto the dance floor.

Damn.

“Kylie, can I borrow your—”

She was gone too, laughing as a guy dragged her away to booty grind.

“Robin, can I borrow your phone?” I asked.

“Sure.”

Thank God.

She handed it to me and I scrolled through her contacts. There was no Tyler Mann. “Don’t you have Tyler’s number?” I asked, doing a second pass in case I had missed it.

“No. He and I don’t hang out.”

That was no help whatsoever then because I didn’t know his number. I relied on my now-dead phone to contact him.

I was trying to get to Kylie when Mike, the guy in the John Deere T-shirt, stepped in front of me, blocking the hole on the dance floor I had been trying to navigate through. He gave me a lecherous smile.

“Hey there, sexy.”

Ick. “Excuse me, I’m trying to get to my friend.”

“Kiss me and I’ll let you through.”

Really? Okay, I realized that he probably could have said that to any number of girls and they would have giggled and done it. But you would think that he could tell by the look on my face I was not going to be one of them.

“I don’t think so. I’ll just go a different direction.” Not that he had any right to block my path, but I didn’t feel like standing around arguing with him. I turned around and started to move to the perimeter of the dance floor, figuring I could shove my way along the side to reach Kylie.

He grabbed my elbow. “Come on, Tori, let’s have some fun. You’re a girl that likes to have fun, right?”