True Heroes (48 page)

              Alice began mumbling again, but Power was too focused on his own loathe to listen. “He hates himself, and the himself that he can’t control, which makes him hate himself even more. That’s vicious. How can he still be walking around with that ring of fire in his head constantly?” She spoke up. “What are you, exactly?”

              “He described me technically to you earlier. I’m a series of genetic defects that miraculously added up to a biological plus. You can replace all the medical jargon with the name he affectionately gave me: Power.”

              “It bothers you that he gave you a name?”

              “He never gave me credence, never let me rest, never accepted me for a part of his humanity. I am nothing to him, and he is nothing to me.”

              “That really bothers you. That you’re alone.”

              “I can’t help but be alone if I have no identity. Not even a part of an identity.”

              “Well, I think you’re both wrong. You do exist. I see you, and you can think about yourself, obviously, so you’re here. But you’re not alone. You never have been.”

              “I’ve had him: the master of truth and denial.”

              “You’ve had anybody. Every time he went to sleep you could go talk to someone instead of hurt them.”

              “What do people know? People are the anchors on the few bright spots that light up the night. The only person I could ever talk to besides this bastard died two months ago.”

              Alice scooted off the chair and onto the floor at his feet. “We could talk.”

              “You know nothing. You’re people.”

              “No, I’m a person who’s asking you how she can help.”

              “Help him fail. Turn him away at every pass.”

              “How would that help?”

              “We have a wager over control of his body. He wins if he convinces me there’s something worth keeping here; I win if he fails. You could have him fail?”

              “What would you do if you won?”

              “Destroy everything. Torch the ground beneath my feet and not stop until the flames curled his flesh from the back.”

              Alice reached for his foot. “I don’t think that would help.”

              “No people is tantamount to no pain.”

              “No, no people means no people. It’ll just be you and a lot of fire.”

              “Fire can’t bring the pain I hate.”

              “Burning people alive won’t bring pleasure either.”    

              “It ends the possibility of pain.”

              “It ends the possibility of everything.”

              “We’re seeing the same thing from opposite angles.”

              “You’re trying to end the possibility of sadness, but you’re destroying everything, happiness, sadness, everything. You can’t want that.”

              “I can and do.” Power felt something stir within Caleb. “He’ll be waking up soon.”

              “I like him more than you, I think.”

              “Why’s that?”

              “From what I can tell, he wants everything in the world to be true, and you want nothing in the world to exist. Truth is always better than running away. Can’t you just stand here with him and face it all?”

              “Not a chance, princess.”

              She wearily smiled. “Why princess?”

              “Because you’re naïve, and have so much to lose.”

              “Then I’ll call you the prince.”

              “I’m not the one that cares about you.”

              “No, I’ll call you it because you’re arrogant, and have no idea how good things could really be.”

              “Hmph, you sound like him.” Power turned around to see her cuddling into her chair with a blanket curled under her chin. It looked down on her for minutes. “You’re pathetic like him too,” he muttered. “A sack of flesh that squawks uncontrollably at the first sight of a reactable offense. If he does choose you, I don’t know how I’ll ever find a way creative enough to justify the end of your life. Sleep tight.”

Chapter 11

             
Damp burning snapped Caleb awake. The world was still grey against the canvas as he leaned up and scanned fervently. ‘No, how could I? My God no, no, no!’ Breathing caught his attention. He twisted quickly and saw Alice’s body heaving; her tiny frame curled into a ball with her mouth open and a blanket by her feet. Caleb couldn’t process the image. ‘Nothing happened? You did nothing?’

              Power slowly came around and proclaimed, ‘No, nothing.’

              ‘Why not?’

              ‘Are you complaining?’

              ‘No, but not entirely trusting.’

              ‘I know,’ Power said bitterly. ‘I’m not sure why I didn’t, but I didn’t. She lives another night.’

              Caleb stood, reached down, and gently pulled the blanket to her crossed arms, her hands automatically finding the frilled edges of cloth and curling them between her soft fists before snuggling closer to the crevice of the loveseat. He felt power go into complete remission on its own, and his own mind mulled the scene he’d never expected to see. “Lucky girl,” he whispered delicately before very gracefully sitting back in the couch, retrieving his own blanket from the floor and suddenly feeling his lids weighted again. He didn’t sleep. His mind stayed submerged in the tepid dreamscape without having to hold its breath; imagination came to him in uncontrollable connective images. Cows became bowls of cereal, Alice waved through a rabbit hole and waded through a muddy swamp, Caleb saw himself flying too long before the insurmountable mountain became a bright, hot wall; the smell of dried reeds burning with the strange after-taste of coffee beans—

              “Morning!”

              Caleb raised his hands and felt something very hot on his finger tip. His head rose to see a defiled cup inches above his shoulder. He reached up and gently took the loop with his index and studied the side of the mug. What surely used to be a family-friendly portrait of some sort was turned into a group of seven floating heads with inappropriate smiles all across the surface. Caleb looked up to Alice as she twirled her tea bag string with a finger. “I like faces….”

              Her mumble made him smile a little as his groggy voice croaked, “Good thing.” He studied closer. “You did this with what? A nail file?”

              “A butter knife,” she mumbled.

              “Ah, their bodies suffered for their vanity.”

              She sat in her large recliner with her legs tucked in and the hot tea on her knee cap. Caleb carefully sipped at his tea, recoiling a bit from the bitter taste. “Do you have any honey?”

              Alice hopped up again and skipped to the kitchen. “Yeah, you can come in and get some. I never know how much to put in because all the measurements are all weird.” Caleb stood and started walking. “There are a lot of weird measurements out there. Like a pinch, a dash, a grab, a spritz, a dusting, a light dusting, a heavy dusting,” he took the bottle from her hand, “a careful handful, a liberal spoonful…. Are you sure that’s enough?”

              Caleb looked between his spoon and the tall sprout of honey. “Yeah, you seem to have me covered here.”

              She moved some dirty dishes around and lifted her clothed bottom to the counter. He stirred with his spoon while his mind was thoroughly unabiding to her leaned staring. “Thinking?”

              Caleb gently lowered his cup. “Waking up, mostly. Then thinking.”

              “About?”

              “About when you’re going to ask what you’re really wanting to ask.”

              She clutched under the counter. “He told you?”

              “He’s replaying the whole thing in my head to annoy me.” Caleb sipped again. “It’s working.”

              “Well, he’s mean.”

              “You noticed that too?”

              “Are you mad?”

              “Should I be?”

              “You’re deflecting.”

              “Are you punching?”

              Alice looked daringly at him. “If you don’t wanna talk about it it’s fine.”

              “That’s a good thing because I had no intention of talking to you about it.” Caleb set down his cup and wiped at his eyes. “Thanks for letting me sleep a little.”

              She chased him down before he got to the front door. “You can still stay if you don’t wanna talk.”

              “Listen, there are plenty of reasons I shouldn’t be here at all, and plenty more why I should leave now. What if David saw us right now? And just to give you a glimpse into what you saw last night, the paramount reason why me being here is a bad idea: I now have to decide what to do with you. My current options are you dead, you alive and me gone, or you alive and me telling you the truth about a lot of bad stuff. Two of those options don’t have me here at this moment, and none of them are worth just staring at me from across the room until I decide.”

              Caleb turned and walked towards the staircase.

              “Or you could stay and not talk?”

              Caleb didn’t look back up. “That would fall under option three. No grey area with me, sorry.”

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              “I guess not, but still he could’ve stayed. He should’ve stayed. He could’ve taken a shower here, I’ve got some food, I think…maybe even another cup of tea and he would’ve told me everything as I gave him a massage, and the world would be right as rain on a sunny day.” She walked back inside. “Man, would that’ve ticked David off! Caleb’s right, he doesn’t like him at all. I don’t know why. He’s obviously smart, and obviously needs help which is what David likes. Or he just likes it with me. Gotta get something for our anni—oh a bug! Got it, yes. This place is a mess, how do I live here? Well, a lot of it was the guys last night I guess. They seem so nice and afraid and lonely, why doesn’t Caleb like them? Just because they hurt me? Why does he care? Why do I care why he cares? Ugh, caring is hard. Why does anyone do it? Curious little kittens looking up at strangers and rubbing at their legs. I need another cat. But if they come by—well I guess they won’t be anymore. Caleb told them not to….” She reached under her small couch and pulled out a skinny laptop. “Where’s a pet store around here? At least now I can get a cat. I’ll have to thank Caleb for that tonight. If he comes by! Ugh I hope he does. I don’t want him to leave because of me. Staying because of me? I have no problem with that at all. Would he have a problem with it? He seemed to have a problem with me, but he also said he might not have a problem with me. He needed to think about it…. So far away! I’ll get David to take me, but I don’t want David to take me. Caleb doesn’t seem to have a car, but I’d walk with him. It’s only five miles away. I bet it would go fast with him….” A loud vibration reverberated along her floor. “Vi-bra-tion…ah, phone got it! Walk, walk, walk, pick-up, pick-up, pick-up. Hello? I’m fine. No, I don’t think so. I’m off today, and I’ll be there tonight.” She paused to listen. “You’re breaking up with me?” Anon. “No, you said if this doesn’t stop, we’re not going to make it and I don’t know what there is to stop, so obviously the concept of me stopping something I haven’t started is a paradox, so your ultimatum becomes ‘stop seeing me.’” A third time. “We’re always going to be friends, but I’m not sure if we were anything else, either. Okie dokie. See you tonight.” She gently tossed the phone. “Caleb really should stick around. Giving me a choice…how stupid is he? Either be with me or be with somebody else but don’t try to change me. I can’t change. I did change. How did I change? What did Caleb say last night? He changed me last night. How? I don’t have them here this morning…. They’re not here because it’s wrong, he said. He said. It’s wrong. David’s wrong? He was wrong. For me, yeah. How? Because he wanted to change me. Because he thought I needed changing. Because he didn’t think I was good enough for him, so he tried to change me into his perfect girl. He tried to change me, and Caleb did change me. I need to walk. Caleb needs to be there tonight.” She swooned.