True Heroes (46 page)

              ‘No,’ he whispered from the inside of his own ear. “Carol. Mention my name with hers. They’ll know who you’re talking about. They have to tell you something about me. St. Margaret’s. It’s the only one in New York State with the name.”

              ‘You moron!’ His power continued to whip furiously behind the tight constraints in Caleb’s head while David walked away to place a phone call. Alice leapt forward to David’s closer chair as soon as he vacated. “You’re forty?”

              Caleb smiled despite his heart’s moan. “Will be soon. Don’t look it do I?”

              She shook her head. “You look younger than me when you’re rested. Now you look older, but not that old at all. What’s your secret?”

              Caleb laughed a little, feeling fatigue coax his brain into a cooing position. “Lots and lots of lotion. Tubs full of it.”

              She smiled. “You’re lying, but it’s still funny. How long have you known about what you have?”

              “I knew of our shared disease as soon as I was old enough to comprehend it, but how sick I was eluded me for almost a decade. I was in a car accident and…something weird happened that prompted more explanation.”

              “What happened? What else do you have?”

              “I have a laundry list of problems, and there was a release of adrenaline that interacted with increased salt production throughout my body that served as a catalyst when combined with a pre-existing deformity that increases nerve conduction and neuron firing within my body, essentially making me a walking generator of bio-energy.”

              She smirked again. “Trying to confuse me?”

              “Only if it worked.”

              She smiled again and put her chin in her hand, not hearing David approach. “They’ll fax her records over as soon as they check me out. They have no copies of yours.”

              “Like I said….”

              “Does he look forty, David?”

              “No,” he said quickly. “Mind if I sit there again?”

              “Yes.”

              He sighed and plopped down in her recliner. “What happened after the hospital?”

              “Got out and came here. That part’s boring.”

              “Why here? Why not with family?”

              “I have none. Mom and Dad died while I was in high school. Extended family at various times before and after then.”

              Alice leaned onto her elbow and knee. “You left Carol there?”

              Caleb felt the knot tighten. “No, she had a cardiac event and died en route to the hospital.”

              Alice’s back hit the metal chair and David’s eyes averted; all the while Caleb stared at an un-captivating floorboard. “Who was she?”

              David’s question drew Caleb’s eyes for only moments. “First my best friend, then my girlfriend, then my wife for all practical purposes.”

              He glanced at Alice, her hand covering her heart and tiny tears filling the brims of her depth-defying eyes, and quickly averted to his ordinary board. ‘And now you feel deathly inside. Are you happy? Does this make you happy?’

              ‘The truth is the truth. I won’t lie to anyone again.’

              ‘That’s what this is. You think you lied to all of them when you said you’d make them proud? You’re nothing but a child on the inside; beaten and bruised, feeling as if the world has walked on without you when you were never a part of it to begin with. You’re trying to pay penance for a crime never committed.’

              ‘I lied to them, every one of them at some point. I won’t do it again.’

              “We’re sorry to hear that,” David said, interrupting Caleb’s internal skirmish. “That should be good for now. We’ll probably have you give the summary of that to the group. A different night.”

              Caleb nodded and said, “Thanks.”

              The small man stood and walked towards the door, greeting the few people that already intruded the metal frame, while Caleb wiped at his tired eyes to stave sadness behind fatigue. He heard Alice sniffle a few times before feeling loose strands of hair tickle at his wrists. “I’m sure she had the most peaceful look on her face when she died. I know you made her feel that.”

              ‘Swing and a miss.’

              Caleb leaned back and showed her his eyes again, hoping they were dry. They exchanged a smile as Caleb stood, setting up chairs as he walked around. Familiar faces from the night before took chairs cautiously as he set them up. His mind carefully attached names to faces again as a matching game, ensuring a consistent ability to recall them later. He sat back down and reached for his sandwich bag, opening it quietly as everyone gathered around and quietly conversed. David re-approached the circle and spoke over the groups soft chewing of words and food. “Welcome everyone. I’m going to have to leave early tonight, but before I do, I want to hear what you all thought about the poem we heard last time. Who would like to start?”

              Caleb finished his sandwich and carefully placed the paper on the ground, not realizing everyone was looking at him until he leaned back up. “You want me to start?”

              “A few other people have gone, but we’d like your opinion, yes.”

              ‘My brain’s speeding up. I feel like I’m asleep now….’

              ‘Told you.’

              “Um, well, it was really deep and interesting because of the symbolism you used.”

              “Name some,” the artist himself demanded.

              “The title was pretty thought provoking, especially when the last line tied it all together.”

              The artist turned towards David and Alice. “He didn’t even listen to the middle of my poem.”

              Alice unfurled a little from her ball. “Well, it was his first night. Maybe you guys can talk about it in group time later…?”

              “Yeah, sure, I’ll listen to the first and last word he says. See how he likes it.”

              Caleb kept his smile under control as the guy next to him—‘Three-and-a-half feet of cushion to my left,’—began to talk. He simply couldn’t concentrate as hard as they deserved; his eyes would blink away the world for more than a few seconds at a time before achedly reopening to the room. Before long, David was leaving the room while Alice stood and opened her arms wide. “Since he’s leaving, it’s gonna be another short night for us, but don’t tell him.” A slight rise could be felt through the room. “But before we leave, group time. Pick a partner and talk. Caleb and Benny have to partner up.”

              She flashed him a jubilant smile to which he could only tiredly nod back as chairs scraped loudly across the floor in all directions. Benny stayed rooted to his usual position. Caleb stood and dragged his trash and chair behind him until his tired legs folded beneath his body, the chair catching his weight. Benny was at attention; his back was straight while his head was slightly forward and his eyes were wide and searching. Caleb ran his hand through his hair and sniffed loudly. “I’m sorry.”

              “That’s the first thing.”

              Caleb remained silent, listening more on the other conversations than feeding into Benny’s pointless game. The chats were quiet despite the familiarity of the people. Alice’s voice could be easily heard over the other conversationalists as she hovered from one pair to another, ultimately stopping next to Caleb’s quiet group. “Nothing else to say?”

              Caleb simply shook his head.

              “You’re not going to talk so I can ignore it?”

              Again.

              “Alice! He’s being unfair.”

              She came rushing over. ‘What a toddler he is.’

              ‘That’s how I would be if this thing was just a little worse.’

              ‘Thank god you’re not then.’ “How is he being unfair, Benny?”

              “He won’t talk so I can ignore him.”

              “Benny, that’s what kids do. We’re not kids. I was talking to him yesterday that’s why he didn’t hear some of your poem. Are you going to be mad at me now?”

              “You know I can’t be.”

              “Good, so did he apologize?”

              He nodded.

              “Then make-up. He’s gonna be with us now Benny.”

              Benny rotated his head back to Caleb and made eye contact. “Accepted.”

              Caleb smiled as much as he could muster. “Thanks, Benny.”

              Alice placed a hand on Benny’s shoulder to comfort him, and dragged a hand across Caleb’s as she passed by. The friction across his tired skin sparked writhing endings, burst ripples from beneath the cotton of his shirt that gently moved the soft paper at his feet as a breeze would a wandering leaf. He quickly regained his senses and pulled the light energy burst back, averting what gathered attention the action received by firing a question. “Where are you from, Benny?”

              “Boston. You?”

              “Outside New York.”

              “I never liked New York. Too busy.”

              “Yeah, but I bet Boston’s pretty bad too.”

              “Not as bad. Just bad enough to make me leave.”

              “You moved here by yourself too?”

              “No. Alice and David moved us down. I knew him and her from childhood.”

              “Ah, you’re one of the life-timers. That’s cool.”

              “Not really. Just true….”

              “All righty everyone I hope you all had a good discussion. We will meet again next Monday night. Have a good weekend!”

              ‘I have no sense of time. I didn’t even know it was Friday….’

              ‘Sleep is important to be functional. When you fall, I’m going to tear someone apart for your little truth pandering.’

              ‘No you’re not.’

              ‘You’ll see when you wake up, I suppose.’

              Caleb angrily stood after everyone else and jammed his hands in his pocket. He quickly walked out of the darkened gym and into the street-lit night again. “I was just here,” he whispered. A few of the group turned and looked at him with half smiles across their faces, but only long enough for that observation before their eyes were averted again. Caleb removed his hands from his pockets and looked around, seeing Alice struggling with her large chair on the sidewalk. He quickly looked left. ‘David took the truck. What a dick.’

              ‘Told you.’

              Caleb walked over quickly to shove his strong hand under the chair and lifted with her, feeling something sharp stab into his hand. His teeth grit and he lifted harder until she could jam her knee under the cushiony monster. “Thanks. Is your hand okay? You were gritting your teeth.” She looked down as a small drop of blood hit the pavement. “Oh gosh, hold on.”

              “No, it’s nothing.” The chair suddenly dropped straight to the cement with a clang before her knees dropped to the same surface, intently observing the open wound. “It’s really nothing. It’ll be healed by tomorrow.”

              “It could’ve been on one of the rusty things sticking out of the bottom. Why didn’t you drop it? You wouldnt’ve hurt anything if you’d just dropped it.”

              “I wanted to help. Please,” he extended his hand down to her, “don’t worry about me. How are you going to get the chair home?”

              “Carry it. David had to go into work early tonight.”

              He felt a spasm as his fingers grasped her small wrist. “Your wrist is trembling.”

              She smiled up at him. “One of the times you blocked me today, my wrist jammed in. It’s been weak all day. It’s fine. I’m not bleeding.”

              “I’m not using my hand for anything. You kind of need your wrist.”

              “You don’t need your hand?”

              “I don’t work. All of my uses for my hand are recreational.”

              She laughed out loud, insinuating a usage of his sentence he hadn’t intended. “Good thing we both have spares, right? You’re really funny you know that? Not just ‘ha-ha’ funny either, like my cheeks hurt when I’m around you because I smile a lot. Do you ever get that? I mean I know your cheeks can hurt from chewing or talking a lot or whatever, but from smiling? That’s so weird, right? It’s like: why would a smile ever hurt?”

              Caleb’s smile grew as she continued on. “Your cheeks should be made of iron by now with all that talking you do.”

              She smiled again. “I like talking, thank you.”

              “I like listening so it all works out.” They both looked down at the chair for a few seconds before Caleb bent down and easily hoisted it with the aid of his power. “I’ll carry if you talk.”

              “I can get it, honestly. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

              “I’m a stout little man myself. David even said so. And now you’ll have someone to mumble to on your way home.”