True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3)) (71 page)

Sight
.

Hearing
.

And feeling anything from his waist down.

Elizabeth started laughing or maybe it was snickering. She wasn’t quite sure, but whatever it was, she had reason to be smug. “Nice one, Cowboy,” she said, slapping him on the bare ass. Then she ran a hand down his tattooed back, ridged with lines and muscles that were her little obsession.

“I’m glad I en
tertain you,” he muttered.

Elizabeth rolled to her side, and then pulled a blanket over them both. “Let’s sleep
.” She was suddenly exhausted. “Between you and Baby Blackhawk, I don’t have my never ending stamina,” Elizabeth yawned.

Blackhawk rolled to his side, placing her body protectively over hers and their child. Her belly was against his hip, and the motion of his child bouncing, drew his hand to her flesh. Slowly he soothed
, rubbing, and massaging the spinning baby. When the motion stopped, he kept his hand there, guarding what they made together.

“I love you, Elizabeth,” he said softly, as he drifted off to sleep.

Elizabeth opened her eyes, and tucked a strand of his hair from his cheek. “I love you too, Ethan,” she whispered back, and then curled into his body, lying there and worrying about the other man in her life two doors away. 

~ Chapter Nineteen ~

Callen listened to the shower shutting off and he looked around the room to make sure the scene was set. He took the time to light a fire in the fireplace, set up the candles around the bed, and pour the wine. In his pocket were the family heirlooms that he was given by his grandfather, brother and sister-in-law.

He was ready.

No he wasn’t
. He was scared shitless. Ordering her to marry him was easy, putting his heart out there and allowing her to reject him was going to be the hard part. What he really wanted was reassurance from Ethan and Elizabeth. Whitefox would have run back to them to make sure he was doing it right, but he already knew they’d begun their evening. While in his room he heard the evidence and smiled. The way they loved each other was the benchmark he wanted to set for himself and Desdemona. As a child he always wanted to be just like his big brother, and now was no different. He was on the cusp of getting everything he ever wanted in life, and mimicking his brother’s path in life. There was the escape from the Rez, the job in the FBI and then the finding of an outsider woman to help him complete the mission in life.

When the door to the ba
throom opened, fear filled him that he’d screw this up. The woman he wanted to marry was standing there with her hair pulled back, and she looked so innocent. He fought to not rush to her, wrapping her protectively in his arms.

Desdemona looked around, and knew what was happening. Elizabeth Blackhawk’s hands were all over this, and she smiled. Having a girlfriend for the first time in her life was a pretty incredible thing, and having Callen Whitefox, well that was just as amazing. “Hi,” she said, softly. Everything in her was pounding, and she forced herself to walk towards him.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, putting out his hand.

Desdemona took it, because she wanted desperately to be part of this man’s life. Everything about him was what she wanted in a man. Kindness, a big heart, and incredibly sexy; he was the perfect package for her, and she knew it deep down on the first day
she saw him. All she wanted was to have him and the family that came with him. “I like the room, are we having a date?” She went into his arms and accepted the kiss waiting for her. It was sweet, gentle and he used it to mask his nerves, but she could feel them just below the surface.

Whitefox kept the kiss light, and as he broke it, he gave her the answer, “We are
.” Leading her over to the bed, he lifted her up by the waist to situate her. He sat beside her and handed her a glass of wine. “I wanted to talk to you first.”

“About?”
Desdemona tried to look like she was confused, but she wasn’t sure if she was pulling it off at all. All she kept saying to herself was ‘Be Morticia’, and to let her heart make the final decision. Now she just needed to trust her friend’s advice.

“Us.”

“Okay, Callen.” The wine helped soothe her nerves as she took a healthy gulp to help calm her down. Desdemona was scared out of her mind that she was going to make the wrong decision. Inside she knew she wasn’t ready but what if she asked for more time. What would happen then? Would he leave her and then would she be alone, knowing that she was too scared to commit? What if she said yes and it ended up being a mistake? Oh God! This was so stressful.

“I want to tell you about my
family and the history they have when it comes to finding the women they married. My grandfather was married to my grandmother for a long time. They were an arranged marriage, as he was the oldest son, and she the oldest daughter in another tribe. They were picked to be married to unite the families,” he said, beginning the story. “She was so young, and he was so stubborn that no one believed they’d make it. The fights they had that first year were talk among the tribe. My grandfather was a stubborn brave, and my grandmother, she had a wicked temper.”

Desdemona listened patiently.

“It took the time to find love together. There were many fights and battles between them, but in the end they found it.” He sipped his own wine. “I was told often that I had to carry on my bloodlines with a Native woman. If my grandfather could have, he would have hand-picked our wives. Luckily we both were stubborn as hell.”

Desdemona laughed at that. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Callen Whitefox winked at her. “As a young man, growing up on the Rez, there were only a few things I wanted in life. A way out, to be like my big brother, and to find the love of my life.” He looked into her green eyes and pushed forward hoping she’d believe everything he was saying. The love of his life was in the other room, but this woman could fill in the remaining holes. He was sure of it. “I think you and I are meant to be together, much like my grandfather and grandmother. We could have a really good life and fill it with laughter, love and family.”

Desdemona was holding her breath waiting for him to give her what she needed in order to say yes. Just that little spark of hope and she’d let her heart win over her mind.

“In our family, the oldest son and his wife carry on the tradition of the Blackhawk clan. On our reservation, being a Blackhawk is a huge deal. They
’re the oldest family, and they are important. As you know, I’m missing the Blackhawk name, but I’ve been included in the family, given such a precious gift.” He took a deep breath.

Desdemona knew how important his family was, she could see how he loved them.
Letting her mind take over was a bad idea, she stayed in the moment and stared into his eyes and saw so much emotion.

She had to believe it was for her.

She hoped.

She prayed.

“When we visited my granddad and he pulled me aside, he gave me his blessing.” Whitefox felt relief over the first obstacle being cleared. “He also gave me the family rings. They were my grandparents and theirs before them.” Whitefox pulled out the box, but didn’t open it yet. “By all rights, they should be Ethan and Elizabeth’s rings. They will head the family after my grandfather is gone.” Just the thought filled him with sadness. The old man was his rock as a child, his brother as a teen and his sister-in-law as an adult. “Elizabeth will be the one that keeps us together.”

Desdemona knew how defining the moment was for him as well as her. Not only was he claiming her, he was being claimed by the family. That he included her in that moment of his life was precious.

“Elizabeth declined the ring, telling granddad to give it to me. She wanted me to give it to the woman I chose as my wife. That’s a huge honor for me. That I get to give the ring that my family holds sacred to the woman of my choice. Ethan and I are the fifth generation to have these rings, and until just now, no one without the Blackhawk name has ever worn them. I never thought it would be my choice and for a while, I’d given up hope on love.”

“She loves you a great deal, Callen.”
Desdemona took a deep breath and waited. “I’d given up hope too, Callen, that I’d never find love.” What she felt for this man and his family was so big it overwhelmed her.

His heart skipped a beat that she indeed understood. “I’m lucky, someone will always be there for me when my granddad is gone, but I want more.”
Whitefox held the box in his hand and prepared to open it. “Please marry me, and fill the rest of my heart. Give me the last piece of the puzzle and make me a very happy man.”

Desdemona looked down at the two rings in the box, and they looked perfect together.
This is where it all came down to her making her decision. Walk away loving him and lose what she was being offered because it wasn’t enough, or take the gift and try to be happy. Take the family and the friendship along with the chance that one day he’d love her with all his heart, not just a portion or live alone and afraid.

“I can’t give you the Blackhawk name, but I can give you the family that I love, the p
eople that make me alive inside,” he whispered, pulling his grandmother’s ring out of the box. “It’s a simple ring,” The stones glittered in the firelight. “Because I’m a simple man.” Whitefox held the ring in his fingers, waiting for her answer. “Now I just need a simple answer of yes or no.”

She laughed. “Callen, you are far from simple. You are the most complex, exasperating, bossy man I’ve ever met in my entire life,” she said shaking her head. Now it was all up to her. Run or stay
? Desdemona closed her eyes and hoped she chose correctly.

“Well that can’t be good,” he said holding the ring.

She channeled the inner Morticia and took that leap of faith. She wanted desperately to have a family, a girlfriend to bond with and a man that would keep her safe. Besides the sex was amazing and there was a chance it would grow into more.

“Yes.”

He looked up. “Yes it can’t be good, or yes you’re going to marry me and be my wife?” His heart began tripping in his chest.

“Yes, I’m going to marry you.” Desdemona held out her finger. “And for the record, I love the ring and that it belonged to people that found love before us. I’ll wear if forever and never take it off,” she said, as he slid it onto her finger.

Callen was overjoyed and the adrenaline took over. “I love you.” It was the best day of his life, and he couldn’t wait to tell his family that he’d sealed the deal and got the girl to say yes to him. The ring looked perfect on her hand and he felt relief and peace.

“I love you too, Callen,” she whispered, looking up into his eyes
searching for what she wanted to find.

“I’m going to maul you like you’ve never been mauled before,” he warned
, laughing.

Desdemona touched his cheek, and ran her fingers across his lips lovingly. “Maul away, but let’s not wake the entire house,” she said, giggling. 

Callen kissed her like he never kissed her before. It was hard and demanding and it showed her exactly what was building in his body for her. Nothing else around them mattered at that point. It all fell away. His hands explored her, and he found himself overheating at the gentle touch her fingers were tracing against his body. The last piece of the plan fell into place, and he had finally gotten what Ethan found for himself.

Desdemona was completely hot and
melting. Something in her was begging her for more and more, and she was inclined to listen to the voice pushing her forward. Deciding to just let herself go, like she did with her heart, seeing where it went. She answered his driving kiss with one of her own. Her hands quickly unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it open, and running hands lightly down his body. When he shook at her touch, it inflamed her even more, and made her want to push him harder.

“Desi,” he
whispered, pulling away from her lips.

The look in his eyes drove her forward, as she pushed him back and decided to show him what lived deep in her for him. Next she flicked open his belt buckle and unzipped his pants, aiming for one goal, driving him to madness. There was no gentleness when she freed him from his pants and looked deep in his eyes. “I want
you, Callen,” she said softly. It almost didn’t sound like her voice. It was deeper, breathier and it gave her the push she needed. Desdemona was going to take what she wanted, and let him feel what she felt, and maybe she could fill his heart even more until it overflowed. Oh, there was going to be a mauling, but she wasn’t going to be the one mauled.