True Loves (A Collection of Firsts) (16 page)

I bite my bottom lip. Even though I’m unbelievably pissed, I can’t deny the feelings in my heart. I do love him, more than anything, but I can’t do this. I can’t be the other woman. Noel’s eyes plead with me to tell him I love him and that I still need him. I pull his fingers away from my lips and then cup his face. He turns his head and kisses my palm. One last kiss is all I can give him. I can’t tell him that I love him, even though I do, because it will only lead him on.

I commit to memory every line and curve of his face. Never again will I hold him like this. I lean in and press my lips to his, and he shuts his eyes. He tenses and tentatively moves his lips with mine. A single tear rolls down his cheek. He feels it too. He knows me well enough to know this is it for us. Noel wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. Panic surges through me. If he starts touching me, it’ll be over. It doesn’t take much from him to turn me on, and I can’t let my body overrule my head.

I break our kiss and lean my forehead against his. “Noel…I can’t.”

He opens his eyes. “Can’t or won’t?”

I shrug and drop my hands into my lap. “Does it really matter?”

“It matters to me. We can work this out. I just need some time to—”

I shake my head. “No, Noel. I can’t be that girl. I can’t be second in your life. You’ve always known that about me. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

He lays his hand on my thigh, and my whole body tingles. “Would you’ve come here—been with me—if you’d have known? I wanted you here with me, and when I saw my shot to make that happen, I took it.”

I cross my legs in an attempt to create more space between us, but my body instinctively turns into him. “But you lied to me. I can’t forgive that.”

A harsh breath escapes his lips. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I move his hand off my thigh. “I believe you, but that doesn’t change the situation. I understand you feel like you need to be with Sophie. I do. But I can’t be a part of your life during all this.”

Noel tilts his head. “What are you saying?”

I take a deep breath. “I need you to leave.”

“Lane?”

I shake my head and close my eyes. “Please leave.”

“No. Don’t say that. Don’t shut me out.”

He’s not going to go willingly, and if I don’t end this now, I might let him con me into staying, being second in his life. I gaze into his eyes and try to look as hard as possible. “I’m done with you.”

He grabs my hand, and I jerk away. “No.”

I shove off the bed. “Get the fuck out.”

Noel steps in front of me. He leans into me, and I step back, bumping against the wall. “You want me to go?”

“Yes.”

He searches my face while his warm breath hits my lips. His hands go on either side of me, effectively pinning me against the wall. Our thighs touch as he pushes against me. I swallow hard and try not to think about how close his body is. His nose traces my chin. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Noel kisses my chin, and I close my eyes. My head tips back. His lips feel amazing, and my chest actually heaves. “You can really give this up? Won’t you miss how I make you feel?”

Of course I’ll miss this. The entire time we were apart I missed him. This time won’t be an exception, but for my own sanity, I have to end this. I can’t allow my feelings to be toyed with. Knowing I’ve fallen for him again so quickly scares me. If I allow this thing between us to continue and he eventually leaves me for Sophie, I’ll be crushed. I’m just trying to think ahead.

A tear rolls down my cheek, and I turn my head away from him. “Please stop hurting me.” The words come out as a whisper, but I know he hears them.

He flinches, drops his arms—freeing me from his muscular prison—and steps back. He runs his hand roughly through his hair. “I’m sorry, Lane.” Before another word can be said, he turns and heads out the door. I jump when the door slams behind him.

T
he cheapest flight
to New York leaves tonight at nine o’clock. It sucks I have to pack up and leave this room Mike so graciously gave me. Checkout is at noon, and hanging out in the airport for eight hours will suck so much.

I throw my pajamas in my bag and zip it. I walk toward the door as a knock startles me. I open the door without looking through the peephole and stop in my tracks. “Mike? What’s up?”

He shoves his sunglasses on top of his head. “Oh, good. You’re ready.”

I tilt my head. “Ready?”

“Yeah, I’m here to take you back to the bus.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry you wasted your time coming over here, but I’m not going back.”

Mike frowns, and his eyes look sad. “Noel knew you would say that. Here.” He hands me a paper.

I take it. “What’s this?”

“Your contract.”

My brow furrows as I read through the legal document baring my signature and Noel’s. “I don’t understand.”

Mike shrugs. “It basically says if you don’t follow through with this charity project, Black Falcon can sue you.”

“Me?” I nearly shriek. “He wouldn’t—”

“I think you underestimate how far Noel will go to get his way.”

That selfish son of a bitch. Sue me? Is he seriously stooping to this level? I’m going to kill him. I rub my face as my pulse races. “Where is he? The bus?”

Mike nods and grabs my suitcase. “Come on, I have the Escalade parked out front.”

After we get settled into the SUV and get on the road, I notice Mike glance at me every couple of seconds. His concern is sweet and I appreciate it, but I’m too pissed to speak without yelling. I map out in my mind exactly what I’m going to say to Noel. Every vulgar curse word I know pops into my head at least once. I can’t believe he has the nerve to pull this shit.

Mike parks near Big Bertha and shuts off the engine. “Take it easy on the guy. He’s desperate to keep you around.”

I pick at my nail to keep from looking at Mike. He works for Black Falcon, so of course he’s going to take Noel’s side. “Thanks for the ride. I hope this won’t take too long. There’s a flight back to New York tonight with my name on it.”

He chuckles. “I won’t hold my breath. Noel usually gets what he wants.”

I roll my eyes as I open the door. “So I’ve heard.”

Mike beats me to the back of the SUV and hands over my luggage. “See you around.”

More than anything, I want to laugh and bet him he’ll be surprised by just how little Noel will get his way with me, but I don’t. I don’t want to sound bitter and childish. Instead, I wave and pop the handle on my suitcase.

Trip and Tyke open the door to the bus and step out onto the pavement. Trip notices me and elbows Tyke. They stand there waiting for me to approach. This could be bad. It looks as though they want to guard the door and not let me on.

I tilt up my chin when I’m within a couple feet from them. I’m getting on that bus to give Noel Falcon a piece of my mind and those two won’t stop me. “Hey, guys. Noel in there?”

Trip grins. “Nice! You’re still coming with us. This should be interesting.”

I shake my head. “I just have some…business with Noel.”

Tyke looks concerned while Trip appears absolutely delighted. I run my fingers through my hair and start toward the door.

Tyke places a hand on my forearm. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

I stop and tilt up my chin. “I appreciate your concern, Tyke, but I can handle Noel.”

He removes his hand and nods before patting his brother’s back. “Come on, bro. Riff’s not in there, so I think it’s safe to let her in.” They part, and Trip motions me by with a grand sweep of his arm.

I fling open the door and my suitcase bangs against each step as I make my way up. Noel’s sitting on the edge of one of the captain’s seats strumming his guitar. He doesn’t even bother to help me with my bag. Jerk.

I fold my arms and stand there, ready for a fight, but he just keeps playing that stupid guitar as if I’m not even there. He closes his eyes and hums to the melody as though he’s trying to figure out the lyrics. I remember him doing the same thing when we dated before. Noel licks his lips and slides the bottom one between his teeth. It’s a simple move, but it’s unbelievably sexy. The need to feel his skin causes my pulse to kick up a notch. Damn him. He’s doing this to me on purpose. I reach over and wrap my fingers around the neck of his guitar, cutting off its sound.

Noel opens his blue eyes and grins in that sexy way that makes me weak in the knees. “Oh, hey, Lane, I didn’t see you there. You can go ahead and take your stuff on back to the bedroom.”

Is he serious? “Do you think this is some kind of game?”

He rests his arms casually on the guitar—tattoos directly in my line of sight. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m simply directing a guest slash employee where to store her personal belongings. Don’t see much of a game in that.”

I throw up my arms. “You’re unbelievable! You know that? If you think for one minute that you can force me to stay here, you’ve—”

In one swift move, Noel leans the guitar against the wall and stands directly in front of me. Damn these tight-spaced buses. He grabs my bag. I try to swat away his hands, but he’s too quick.

I stay hot on his heels as he starts down the hallway. “Give me back my stuff.”

“No,” he says before he unzips the suitcase and dumps the contents on the bed.

My clothes, makeup, and other personal items land in a messy heap. “You asshole! Why did you do that?”

His eyes meet mine. “Because the sooner you see you aren’t going anywhere, the better.”

I snatch the clothing. Noel smirks and shoves my bag behind his back. I scowl at him. "What's your problem? Give it to me."

A loud thud sounds in the tiny room as Noel drops the luggage. "Keep being so bossy with me, and I might just give it to you right now." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

I roll my eyes. "You're crazy. I can't keep up with you and these Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde mood swings you’ve got going on."

He steps so close to me his leg touches mine. "No mood swings. I'm just making sure you keep your end of the deal."

"How can you expect me to stay here after all this?" I whisper.

Noel grabs the waistband of my jeans and yanks me flush against him. Heat sears through me as he dips his index finger inside my jeans and traces the sensitive skin on my stomach. I squeeze my eyes shut and feel my head tilt back. Damn my stupid body for wanting him.

He chuckles, and my eyes land on his smug face. “See how easily I can turn you on? That’s why I expect you to stay—because you still want this.”

He releases me, and I gasp at the loss of his warmth which makes him smile even bigger. Why does he have to be so damn sexy? It makes the battle between my body and my head unwinnable. I hug my clothes tight as Noel steps around me and heads out the door. So much for having a rational conversation with him. The contract I signed with lies on the bed. It obviously fell out of my bag when Noel decided to dump out all of its contents.

I lay my stuff on the bed and sit next to the contract. Legal stuff wasn’t my strong suit in college, but I pick it up and read through it. It looks pretty standard except for the last few clauses. One said that if I didn’t fulfill my personal obligation of remaining on tour with Black Falcon for the full two weeks, I put myself at risk for being sued for breach of contract by both Black Falcon and Center Stage. Diana conveniently forgot to mention that little gem. I’m not even sure that’s legal, but I did sign it, along with Noel and Diana, and I’ve watched enough corny judge television shows to know a signed contract means a lot in court.

The second point says, at the end of the tour, Black Falcon will hand over all marketing rights to the band to Center Stage. That’s when it occurs to me why Diana brought this contract to me personally. It isn’t on the up and up, and she probably doesn’t want anyone in the firm knowing about her dirty little deal with Noel to make me stay here. Anger boils through me that both of these people trapped me here to get what they want.

I sigh then fold the paper and stuff it into my back pocket. A newfound determination pumps through me to show both of them how great at selling myself I can be. Since they seem to be able to hold me here legally, I’m going to have to suck it up and figure out a way to be around Noel without letting him crush my heart.

I
don’t bother watching
Black Falcon’s concert tonight. The farther I stay away from Noel, the better. Besides, I’ve gotten a ton of work done on the literacy charity while holed up in the bedroom all day. It’s fine by me if he stays away from me.

My phone buzzes next to me on the bed. Aubrey. She’s been texting me like crazy since our phone conversation this morning. I’m not even sure who she hates more at this point—Diana or Noel. Both of them, to her, are the scum of the earth.

Are you sure you don’t want to say screw ‘em and come home anyway? You can reschedule your flight.

I look at the clock on my laptop. My flight already left. If it wasn’t for this piece of paper in my back pocket that could ruin my life, I would hop on an airplane back to New York and not bat an eye.

I sigh and text her back.
I’m stuck.

A hoot from the front of the bus draws my attention. The guys must be back. Several voices fill the bus, and Trip’s stands out.

“Hell of a show, guys! Did you see that crowd when Noel sang the encore? They were intense. One of the best gigs we’ve played all year. I say we get fucked up to celebrate!”

I tense at the mention of Noel. He’s going to come back here and try to get under my skin, to prove how much I still want him. The thought terrifies me and intrigues me. On one hand, I want him so badly it hurts. The last couple days we spent together were amazing. The mere thought of his hand sliding down my body causes me to erupt with goose bumps. But on the other hand, he has a fucking girlfriend, whether he claims her or not. A pregnant girlfriend who claims he’s the baby’s dad.

He says he wants to be with me, but those are just words. Even he’s said he won’t leave Sophie to be with me. So where does that put me? Am I a toy to be discarded when he’s done playing with me? I shake my head. That’s exactly why I need to keep my distance. I can’t let that happen.

I hear a couple cans open, which I assume are beer, before Trip says, “All right, boys, there’s a hot piece of ass waiting for me outside the bus. I got to get to it.”

“How hot?” Tyke asks.

“Fucking ten, dude,” Trip replies.

“She got a hot friend?”

Trip laughs. “Come on, little brother, I’m sure we can find you a score.”

I listen to the twins head off the bus bickering about which one is actually older. My stomach rumbles. I don’t know what it is about this damn bus that makes me to forget to eat. Noel or not, I have to find food. I save my work on the project and shut my laptop before I shove off the bed. I pad down the hallway and into the kitchen.

Riff leans against the island with a package of Oreos. He pours milk into a red plastic cup and then recaps the jug. He glances up and gives me a sad smile. “Hey. You want some?”

I shrug after I look around and find no sign of Noel. “Sure.”

Riff grabs another cup from the cabinet. “I’m surprised to see you. I figured you’d be in New York with Aubrey by now.”

Obviously Riff doesn’t know about the contract. I should tell him. Let him know about yet another underhanded thing Noel Falcon has done, but I decide against it. The band is struggling already without any help from me. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. “Trust me. I wish I was.”

He pushes the package over to me as he pours milk into my cup. “Want to talk about it?”

I shake my head. Riff is already fully aware of my plight. No need to rehash it. “Thanks for the milk…and the cookies.”

“No problem.” Riff smiles and tilts his head, almost as though he’s studying me. “You know, I meant what I said the other day. We should be friends. You can talk to me.”

I dunk my cookie and avoid his stare. “I’ll keep that in mind.” The last thing I need is another close relationship with a member of Black Falcon. His offer seems innocent, but I can’t shake the feeling that winning me over is a competitive thing with Noel. What’s with these two going after each other’s girls? Uncomfortable with where the conversation may go, I grab a couple more cookies to take to the bedroom. “Thanks for these and the…talk.”

Riff touches my shoulder. “No problem. Anytime.”

Once I close myself inside the room, I plop back down on the bed and get to work. It’s the easiest way to distract myself from thinking about Noel. After a couple hours of good, solid work, I glance at the clock. It’s after midnight, and the bus is quiet. I heard Riff leave shortly after our run-in, and I found comfort in being completely alone.

My vision blurs as I fight to keep my eyes open. I didn’t sleep for shit last night, and suddenly the bed is appealing. The lights flick off with the flip of a switch, and I snuggle down into the blankets. I’m nearly asleep when the door flies open and a drunken Noel staggers into the room. He makes his way over to his side of the bed and laughs when he bumps his knee in the process.

“Noel?”

Before I can even ask what he’s doing, he makes it painfully clear. He wrestles his black shirt over his head. Light streams in from the hallway, allowing a beautiful display of his chest. I stop myself at that thought. I shouldn’t be thinking of him that way. He doesn’t belong to me; he’s Sophie’s. Noel told me that himself.

“What are you doing?” I whisper harshly. “Put your shirt back on.”

Noel laughs as he unbuttons his jeans. I turn my head away as his cock springs free. “Damn it,” he mutters. I think he should invest in some underwear. “Look what you did.”

“
Excuse
me
? I haven’t done a thing to you.”

He chuckles as he nearly falls over while taking off his boots and jeans. “Yeah, well, that’s the problem. I have this raging hard-on whenever you’re around, and now you refuse to play with me.”

I cover my eyes to avoid seeing nude Noel standing beside the bed. “Well, get used to it. That’s never happening again.” I risk a glance at his perfectly hard body and immediately cover my eyes again. “Ugh. Would you please put your clothes back on and get the hell out of here?”

He ignores me and crawls under the covers. “Where am I supposed to go, huh? Tell me that.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “Not my problem. Now get out.”

He snuggles into the pillow. “No can do. Get used to it, babe. You and I are roomies for the next couple days.” Noel reaches around my waist and pulls me into his body. Hard liquor lingers on his skin, along with the distinct smell of women’s perfume.

I pry his fingers off my hip, and he sighs deeply and closes his eyes before he rolls over. I stare at the large cross etched into his back. Where does he get off thinking he can come in here and crawl into bed with me after what he’s done? A soft snore accompanies his chest rising and falling slowly. He’s passed out—so much for forcing him to leave. I grunt, frustrated, and flip to my other side. This will be a very long two days.