Truly I do (8 page)

"Hmmn . . . ,"
Russell took a mouthful of his food, seemingly without tasting it
as he carried on talking into middle distance; "You see'" he
mumbled, "If i could just set the back ground for my reasoning . .
. the coins found here undoubtedly belonged to a Viking king, a
rich one. The early theory as to the owner of this hoard is that it
is associated with a tenth-century occasion when there was a lot of
unrest following the 927 Anglo-Saxon conquest of the Viking kingdom
of Northumbria by king Athelstan. But there was another brief
period of Viking rule in Northumbria after Athelstan’s death in
939; it lasted until the year 954 and the expulsion and murder of
Eric Blood-axe, the Viking king of Jorvik, er - that's modern day
York. What I'm getting around to saying is . . . " Russell paused
to refocus his stare and seemed finally to notice that Julie-Anne
was not hanging on his every word but was, herself, frowning off
into the middle distance. Realising that he had stopped talking she
ceased contemplating his real reason for bringing her here and
snapped her gaze forward to challenge his. Russell's crystal blue
eyes locked into Julie-Anne's soft dark ones and held her
transfixed. "What I want to say is," He said quietly "I was going
to keep this quiet until after I'd met with solicitors tomorrow,
but my plan is that because my own history is rooted in Viking from
'round here, because I've managed to trace my bloodline back to the
time of Eric Blood-axe, I suddenly felt that the right thing to do
would be to come here and get hold of a decent bit of property. I
mean to set up a Bryson-Steinar family seat!"

"Sorry?"
Julie-Anne was nonplussed, she hadn't foreseen anything of this
nature in his plan and she wasn't quite sure that she knew what he
meant. "What do you mean?"

"I mean my
ancestors had quite some status and position around here centuries
ago, that's where my Nordic surname comes from. Of course that kind
of family seat's been lost in the annuls of time, but my father was
a man of great means who - weirdly - chose to ignore his wealth and
potential. My father suppressed his fortunes and status - I don't
intend to do the same. Julie-Anne I'd never dreamed just how much
money my father left me. If I don't make something of it then I
reckon it's all just going to waste. So, anyway, I found this
fifteen thousand acre estate with a well established manorial hall
here, in the seat of my ancestry so-to-speak, and I plan to make
something of myself here. There - now you know!" He searched her
face for her reaction.

Julie-Anne
gasped. 'Wow, a fifteen-thousand acre estate? His dad really did
leave him a lot of money - that's going to cost several millions!'
She thought, and chased the thought quickly through her mind, not
wanting to dwell on just how rich this man was suddenly turning out
to be.

Her mind was
in a whirl. She had always felt herself to be pretty privileged,
what with her parents lovely home in Surrey and her own good
education and trained appreciation of the fine arts. But, she had
never in her life dreamed about the kind of fabulous wealth that
Russell was now implying. He'd said he'd inherited - but why hadn't
he hinted at the magnitude of his inheritance before? Why had he
kept her in the dark over the real reason for his trip? As her
thoughts cleared it dawned on Julie-Anne that Russell didn't just
want her around to amuse a few of his old historian friends with
idle chit-chat at the dinner table, he must be hoping that she
would give him professional information about some real fine arts?
Maybe he was expecting her to advise him on art-works for his new
property? He might even expect her to appraise items that were
already fixtures of his new place? What a nerve!

Indignance
rose up to close Julie-Anne's throat, making it hard for her to
breath. Her hand flew up to clasp over her mouth as she stared
wildly at Russell. 'What a damned cheek!', she thought, expecting
me to be lulled into giving him a free advisory service in exchange
for nothing more than a kiss and a bit of emotional teasing.

She wanted to
jump up and run away from this emotional blackmailer, but a
sensible upbringing forced Julie-Anne to avoid making a scene in
the public restaurant so she just sat there, shaking, staring at
Russell, waiting to see what he would say next.

"I can see
I've shocked you Julie-Anne." His voice was deep and quiet,
resonating from the depths of his muscular chest. He leaned forward
toward her. "I wanted to get a few more of the legalities of the
purchase settled and then introduce you to the place. Y'know? I
wanted to take you around the place as soon as I know for certain
that the deal is sealed. That's why I didn't mention it before,
silly I guess." He looked humble and sheepish.

Julie-Anne
swallowed hard, "So tell me - why do you want to introduce me to
the place at all?" She challenged harshly.

Confusion
washed over Russell's expression, "I'm sorry, I'm not sure why you
seem so angry? Julie-Anne I just wanted to share this with you, I
thought it would . . . well, would cheer you up. I also thought . .
. " his voice trailed off, he looked down solemnly at his plate of
congealing food, avoiding her eyes.

This time
Julie-Anne leaned forward to make sure she held his attention as
she hissed across the table. "If you think you can take advantage
of me to get a free appraisal service on fine arts and good taste
while you splash you new millions around you've got another think
coming!" Her voice was rasping and harsh. She continued to express
her thoughts through clenched teeth, "I don't know what your mean
little game is mister, but I simply cannot allow you to use me in
this way. If you want some expert to come and add to the fabulous
value of your new acquisitions then I'm afraid you'll just have
hire one." Slowly she had stood up and was leaning over him with
her hands on the table to steady herself. "My fee", she snarled,
"is much more than a kiss and a bunch of flowers. I've just lost my
husband - all right! I confessed to you that he and I weren't
really in love - but my vulnerable state is no excuse for a user
like you to come and prey on me in this fashion. I won't be hanging
around to be dumped like an unwanted pet at Christmas after you've
just used me for your personal gain at your convenience."

Shaking, she
dropped her serviette on the table beside her plate of half eaten
food and back away. "I'll be calling a taxi and catching the train
home in the morning." For a moment she could not help but see the
pleading expression in Russell's startled face, but she was
determined to get away before he did or said anything that would
prey on her to resign herself to just satisfying his whims and
wishes as she had always done for other people in the past.

Julie-Anne
crept up the stairs to her little bedroom. Here, a few hours before
she had dared to hope for a happier and more fulfilling future. Now
she felt betrayed, lied to, tricked and desperately, desperately
lonely. She pulled off her clothes leaving them on the floor where
they fell. She wrapped herself in the softness of her fleecy
dressing gown and curled up under the covers of the hotel bed. She
could not cry, she'd cried too much in the recent past now there
were no tears left. She lay huddled in darkness, aching all over
and devoid of any emotion, just waiting for daylight and the chance
to drag herself home.

*

It seemed
almost a miracle that Julie-Anne's mobile phone, lying forgotten in
the depths of her handbag, rang at midnight. She crawled out of bed
and fumbled in the darkness to find it. There it was, flashing it's
solemn blue light in the gloom. She picked it up and looked at it.
"Mum!" She breathed, "Oh, Mum!" She pressed the buttons to return
her mother's call. Auckland, New Zealand was thirteen hours ahead
of British time so it must be about one in the afternoon there,
Julie-Anne imagined the lovely sunshine and scenery of the New
Zealand home of her aunt and parents.

The call only
rang twice before her mother answered "Hello darling, thanks for
calling me back. I just wanted to know how you are doing?" Her
mother sounded concerned, "We haven't heard from you for ages - we
were beginning to worry!"

Croaky from
exhaustion, Julie-Anne related all of the events as she saw them
since the day Russell had turned up at her house. Her mother made
sympathetic noises while she was speaking. "Poor darling", she
said, "but are you sure you're right about him Julie-Anne? Is he
really such a blaggard or are you just being over cautious because
of your past relationship?" This, of course, was Julie-Anne's real
dilemma. She didn't know whether she should have trusted Russell,
taken him at face value, continued making friends with him in good
faith . . . or not? She didn't answer her mother's question so her
mother spoke again, "Do you think you should at least have
breakfast with the poor chap? Apologise for the misunderstanding
and then go home feeling a bit less battered, eh?" the woman
suggested.

"Oh, mum! How
could I have breakfast with him?" Julie-Anne implored as if she'd
just been given an order. "I don't know how to trust him. Maybe
that's it, the problem is that I just can't trust anybody. My
emotions feel so raw and vulnerable, I don't want to get into a
situation where I finally fall properly in love - only to be pushed
aside and hurt. I got too used to just rubbing along, not having to
bother with emotional entanglement. Now - well now I don't think I
have the strength to manage a proper relationship and I certainly
don't want to set myself up as some-one's stooge ever again. No
mum, I think things would be best left as they are now. I'm just
going to go home. Can I call you again when I get there?" Her
parents were in the habit of going off on long adventure treks up
into the mountains and all over the place - it was their retirement
hobby and they loved being out in the wilds together, but that did
make it very hard for Julie-Anne to catch them on the phone
sometimes, when she wanted to. She heard her mother sigh.

"Yes darling.
Your father's twisted his ankle so we've promised to stay at home
for Christmas and let him rest up a bit."

"Oh Mum!"
Julie-Anne declared, feeling guilty, "I didn't even think to ask
how you two were, I was so wrapped up in my own problems. Is Dad
okay?"

"Yes my love.
He's just in need of a bit of rest before we take our next trip
that's all - we're fine I promise. In fact he's right here
listening on the other hand-set. Why don't you two say hello while
I go and pour us a cool drink?"

In the
darkness Julie-Anne became aware of the little background noises
that had betrayed her father's presence on the telephone line. She
smiled to think of him. He was a big man with a generous smile and
a kind heart. "Hi hunny!" His deep voice was clear as if he were in
the room with her and she wished that he was.

"Hello Dad -
so you heard all about my girlie sorrows then?"

"I did." he
confirmed. "Do you want my opinion Julie-Anne?"

"Go on then
Dad?" her smile broadened while she wondered what he was going to
say.

"Take a chance
girl!" He declared jovially. "You're just jumping to conclusions.
Now that you've had all of these thoughts you can at least be on
your guard. But, Jools . . . "

She gasped at
the sound of her dear father's pet name for her. Julie-Anne wished
she was a little girl in his care again. "What Pa?"

"Jools, open
yourself up to the adventure! Get a bit of passion in your life
before it's all too late. Don't let my shining little girl become a
drab old spinster eh?"

Silently she
listened to how the New Zealand drawl affected her father's speech,
it sounded nice and comforting, enhancing the timbres of his
natural voice. "I don't want to be an old spinster Dad!" She
agreed, "But I don't want to set myself up to get hurt either. My
life has always been so safe - I don't know how to live on the edge
like you do."

"Listen girl,"
he answered in a conspiratorial tone, "I didn't say anything when
you plunged into marriage with the first so-safe-as-to-be-boring
bloke that came your way. I didn't tell you then that I thought you
ought to go out and have some proper adventures. But don't you know
that that's the reason I suddenly agreed to come out here with your
mother? I suddenly realised when I saw your blossoming life ebb
away to that lifeless experience you had married into, I was guilty
of doing the same to your Ma. She was such a vibrant, exciting girl
when I married her and I just squashed the life right out of her
with my determination to be steady and safe - dull! I saw her in
you and I saw it all draining away and I suddenly realised that I
owed it to her to come here and start again. Now you don't get that
chance, but look how it's revived us and given us back our love,
our relationship and our reason to cherish every single day of our
life together."

Julie-Anne had
never realised any of this. She imagined the knowing smile on her
mother's face in the background. She noticed the fresh vibrancy in
her father's voice and knew the truth of what he was telling her.
"But Dad, does that really mean that I should trust myself to
Russell?"

"Why not? Let
yourself go girl! You've got the place in Surrey. If this bloke
tosses you aside like you suspect then go home, tidy up, and come
out and try again. Now, your mother's back with some iced drink and
a wicked grin on her face so I'm off - but keep in touch eh!" He
hung up, Julie-Anne heard him flirting with her mother even as he
moved the telephone receiver back to its resting place. She bit her
lip and went thoughtfully back to bed. Maybe in the morning she
would have breakfast with Russell, apologise to him and take it
from there. Feeling settled, she closed her eyes and let herself
drift off to sleep.