Trust (19 page)

We must have fallen asleep at some point, because when I woke up, I had a crick in my neck, and Brianna was snoring softly against my chest. She looked so peaceful, but I knew I needed to move us to the bed, or our bodies would be protesting in the morning. I shifted in an attempt to get my arms under her enough to be able to lift us both from the couch, trying to be gentle. My movement, however, woke Brianna.

She gazed up at me, confused for a moment, and then she smiled. “Hi.”

I chuckled. “Hi.” After pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, I helped her sit up. “It seems we fell asleep.”

Brianna blushed.

“What?”

“I missed sleeping with you.”

This time, I kissed her on the lips, letting my mouth linger. “I missed sleeping with you, too. We should move to the bed, though.”

Without waiting for me to help her, Brianna started to get up. Her dress, however, had other ideas. She must have stepped on the hem, because before either of us knew what was happening, she tumbled headfirst back into my lap.

Brianna looked up at me in horror.

I laughed. “Are you all right, sweetheart?”

She nodded, her expression softening. Even after all this time, she worried I’d be upset over a silly accident.

I helped her up before standing and stretching myself. Although the couch was comfortable enough for sitting, it wasn’t designed for sleeping.

Taking her hand, I led her around the coffee table and into the center of the room. I skimmed the tops of her bare shoulders and ghosted down her arms until I was holding her hands in mine. Goose bumps peppered her skin in the wake of my touch. “We should get you out of this dress. As much as I love how you look in it, you’ll be much more comfortable sleeping with it off.”

Her breath hitched, and I saw her swallow, but she nodded.

Using my grip on her hands, I pulled her toward me until our chests were touching and placed her arms around my waist. She gazed up at me, her eyes showing her apprehension. From the way she’d fisted my shirt around her fingers, I didn’t think it was because she didn’t want me to undress her. It had been four months since we’d been together. Four very
long
months.

Reaching behind her, I found the zipper and began lowering it, inch by inch. Her eyes never left mine as the zipper descended, revealing more and more of her flesh to my hands. I felt lace. More than anything, I wanted to see what she had on under her dress, but I knew I needed to go slowly. This had to happen at her pace.

The bodice loosened, and I gripped her waist with my hands, pulling the dress down slightly—just enough to see the edge of the black bra she was wearing. It was covered in lace, just as I’d suspected.

Brianna’s gaze followed my own as I stared down at her newly revealed undergarment. Color crept up her neck. “Jade found it in my things.”

“Look at me.” I waited until she looked up, her face filled with shy embarrassment. While I held her gaze, I shimmied the dress down her torso until it pooled at her waist. Lace scratched my fingers as I traced a path back up her sides until my thumbs rested just beneath her breasts. “Beautiful,” I whispered.

Her chest rose and fell rapidly as I continued to caress the undersides of her breasts. My gaze was still locked on Brianna’s, but I could feel the movement of every breath she took, and I knew what I was doing was affecting her. Without removing my hands, I took a slight step back—enough to allow the remains of her dress to slide off her hips and down to the floor.

Finally looking down, I took in the full effect. Brianna was wearing a black lace corset that hugged her body in the most delicious way and a pair of matching panties. Unable to resist, I reached down and palmed her ass, lifting her off the ground. She responded by grabbing hold of my shoulders to steady herself.

Without stopping to think, I left the dress lying in a pile on the floor and carried her over to the bed. Laying her down, I removed my tuxedo jacket and bowtie, along with releasing the top few buttons on my shirt, before crawling on top of her. She looked nervous. “Do you want me to stop, Brianna? I will if that’s what you want. We can lie here in each other’s arms and go to sleep.”

She pressed her lips together, and I could see the wheels turning in her head.

Cupping her face, I forced her to look at me. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I’m scared.”

“Of?”

“I’m still not sure I can be what you need me to be.”

I cocked my head to the side, looking at her. What was she talking about? “What exactly do you think I need you to be, Brianna?”

“You want someone . . .” She must have seen the look I was giving her and corrected herself. “You want me to be your submissive.”

“Yes.”

“What if I can’t?”

I was utterly confused. “What makes you think you can’t be?”

She tried to look away, but I held tight to her face not letting her. “At Logan and Lily’s, I—” Moisture pooled in her eyes. “I—”

“Love, what happened at Logan and Lily’s was my fault, not yours.” She started to shake her head, but I stopped her by resting my forehead against hers. “No. I will not let you blame yourself, Brianna. I pushed you too far. It was my mistake.”

“But I should have been able to—”

“You should have been able to what? Not be scared? Not have a flashback? Those aren’t things you can control. You feel how you feel.”

She was crying in earnest now, and although I hated seeing her tears, I knew we needed to have this conversation.

“But it’s what you want.”

“Who says it’s what I want? I never said that.”

“I don’t understand.”

I kissed both of her cheeks before I answered her. “Brianna, I don’t like to play in public. I never have. That afternoon at Logan and Lily’s was meant as a demonstration only. I wanted you to see a loving couple engaging in play since you’ve had so much negative experience with BDSM.” Massaging her temples with my thumbs, I found her gaze again. “It’s not something I need. What I need is you, trusting me. If you can do that, we can figure the rest out. Just the two of us.”

“But what if in the future you want something I can’t give you? I’m broken, and I might always be broken.”

Anger bubbled up from my chest. “Don’t say that. You are
not
broken. Look at how far you’ve come in the months since I met you.” Glancing down between us, I let my eyes linger over her form. “Look at where we are now.” I pressed myself firmly against her center, letting her feel my erection. Her eyes went wide, but there was no fear in them. “Six months ago we would never have been able to do this.”

Brianna reached up and ran her fingers lightly over my face. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“That’s impossible. You are the bravest person I know, and I love you. You could never disappoint me.”

The tears were back, but this time I knew they were because she was happy. “I love you, too.”

“That’s good,” I said, bending down to kiss her neck. “Because I’m not planning to let you go anytime soon.”

“What about—”

I placed a finger over her lips and asked her the one thing above all else that I needed to know. “Do you want to be with me, Brianna? Not just for now, but for always?”

She nodded. “Always.”

I smiled. “Then that’s all I need to know. We’ll figure out the rest of it together.”

Without another word, I kissed her with all the passion I’d been stifling since walking into the hotel room. Brianna threaded her fingers through my hair and met my enthusiasm with equal fervor. After only a few minutes, my desire to remove the clothing that was still between us became my number one priority. It had been four months since I’d felt her bare flesh against mine. The need to feel her again took complete control over my thoughts and actions.

Using one hand, I unbuttoned my shirt until it was hanging open, revealing my naked chest. Already I could feel a difference, and apparently so could Brianna. She sucked in a lungful of air and tugged at the strands of my hair. Even with her lingerie between us, I could feel the heat radiating from her body, as I was sure she could feel coming from mine.

Resting my weight on my elbows, I unbuttoned my cufflinks and quickly removed my shirt, tossing it somewhere across the room. At the moment, I didn’t much care where it landed. I had the one person I’d been dying to have in my arms lying beneath me, kissing me, moaning as I ran my hands up and down her body. I couldn’t wait to be inside her again.

The moment that thought crossed my mind, I stopped. Brianna lay panting under me. She opened her eyes.

Why did I start something I couldn’t finish? Sure we could still pleasure each other, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted her. All of her. There was only one problem with that—no condom.

“Did I do something wrong?”

I buried my head in her shoulder and released a humorless laugh. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Okay.” Her voice held a hint of uncertainty.

I sighed. Bringing my face level with hers, I met her gaze. “I just realized I don’t have any condoms on me.” To lighten the mood, I flashed her a cheesy smile. “I wasn’t expecting to run into a beautiful woman I wanted to have my way with tonight.”

“Oh.” She was silent for a long moment, and then she glanced down between us. Given our positions, I knew she couldn’t see anything, but I was sure she could still feel my arousal pressed against her. “Jade . . .” She swallowed, nervous.

“What about Jade?”

“I think she . . .” Brianna’s blush was back. “I think she put some in my bag.”

At that moment, the look on my face was probably priceless. Just when I’d thought sex with Brianna was off the table for the night, hope dawned on the horizon. “Where’s your bag?”

“In the dresser.”

I hopped up off the bed, hating to leave her warmth, but knowing it would be worth it in the end, and rushed the few feet to the single dresser in the room. There were only three drawers, so it wasn’t difficult to locate the one that contained Brianna’s overnight bag. It did, however, take me a minute or two to locate the foil squares tucked away in one of the side pockets. There were four. I couldn’t help but smile, and I wondered if Brianna and I could burn through all of them before we had to say good-bye tomorrow. It was worth a shot.

Turning back toward the bed, I stopped and took a few moments to admire the woman sprawled out on it wearing some of the sexiest lingerie known to man. I grew harder, knowing that in a short amount of time I’d be claiming her once again as mine.

She gazed up at me, her eyes filled with the same desire echoed in mine. Brianna wanted this as much as I did. It was hard to believe this same woman had been terrified of sex. The only trembling she would be doing tonight was in ecstasy. Once I had her in my arms, in my bed, I’d be hard pressed to let her go.

I helped her to stand. She looked confused but followed my lead.

Running my hands along her bare arms, I took a deep breath, trying to maintain what little control I still had. “Do you need to use the bathroom? If you do, tell me now, because once I get you into that bed, I have no plans to let you out of it until morning.”

She took what looked to be a steadying breath of her own. “Yes, please.”

“Go do what you need to do.”

Brianna scurried off toward the bathroom while I waited impatiently. I tossed the condoms on the nightstand where they’d be easily accessible, then quickly picked up our discarded clothes. It wasn’t that I cared about the items being on the floor. It was more having something to do so I wouldn’t go insane while I waited.

The bathroom door opened, and Brianna emerged. She was still wearing the black corset and panties, and I was itching to take them off her. I motioned for her to stand in front of me by the bed. Once she was within arm’s reach, I twisted her around and swiftly unhooked the eyelets holding her corset together. It released from her body, freeing her breasts, and I threw it over to join her dress.

Taking her by the shoulders, I pulled her back against my chest and kissed her shoulder. Looking down, I admired the view of her bare breasts exposed to me for the first time since she’d left. My dreams had not done her justice.

Brianna sighed as I snaked my hands down her torso and hooked my fingers into the sides of her panties before lowering them to the ground. She stepped free of them without any prompting.

Turning her around, I wrapped one arm around her waist and the other around her neck as I gave her a long hard kiss. “Get into bed. I’ll join you in a minute.” Without waiting for her to respond, I strolled into the bathroom.

When I returned, she was in bed waiting for me. I removed the rest of my clothing and slipped into bed naked beside her.

She was warm, and I let that warmth seep into my bones, having missed it for far too long. Wrapping my arms around her, I brought our bodies in line with each other once more. Brianna smiled up at me.

Brianna whimpered as I palmed her breast with my right hand. She closed her eyes, and her mouth opened slightly. I took advantage and kissed her, plunging my tongue between her parted lips.

As much as I would have loved to go slow, take my time, and show her how much I loved her—all of her—that would have to wait for the next round. I needed to be inside her.