Trust In Love (A McCord Family Novel Book 2) (8 page)

Austin stood up, but made no move to approach her. "Ava was born and raised there. She's a New Yorker through and through. My brother Jimmy always wanted to be a cop, but it had to be in New York. He met Ava fresh out of the academy and they became fast friends. I'm glad he made friends with her because he probably wouldn't have survived otherwise. He could be extremely shy. Zane never wanted him to leave for the big city."

Sophie turned around when he stopped talking. "So he hates it because Jimmy still lives in New York. He isn't excited to see him?" she asked.

"No, he isn't excited. Because Jimmy died in the line of duty. We're going there to visit his grave because Ava wants to tell him that she's pregnant. Zane disliked the city when Jimmy moved there, but he definitely hates it now that Jimmy died there. He's only going for her, otherwise he would never step foot in that city again."

He suddenly pulled a grin from nowhere. "Well, that was a pleasant story time. We all have difficult times in life, Sophie. I miss my brother every damn day. He was a hell of a guy. Sometimes I hate talking about it, but mostly, I've come to find that it brings me a little more peace when I do. I can't keep it bottled up. Neither can you. Maybe I'm not the best person to talk to, but if you happen to pick me, I'm all ears. I'm a really good listener."

Before she could respond, Emmett walked in, oblivious to the serious conversation. "All done. Boy, that pie smells great. I can't wait to taste it."

Sophie looked away from Austin and his perceptive eyes. "Well, it won't be done for at least another thirty minutes. You two should head back to Austin's for the game and I'll knock on the door when it's finished."

"You don't want to join us?" Emmett asked.

"No, thank you. I'm not a baseball fan," Sophie replied.

"I hope I get a piece. You're sharing with me, right?" Austin said to Emmett with a laugh, trying to ignore the rapid pulse of his heartbeat for speaking that way to her.

"I don't know, man, it smells pretty darn good. Depends how nice you are to me," Emmett said with a chuckle.

"I can be really nice. Or I can con Sophie into baking me my own pie," Austin said with a wink to her.

Sophie shyly smiled. "Perhaps you can. I do need wood to replace a few of the basements steps."

"Yeah, I know. I noticed that myself. Wait to go down there until I bring some over tomorrow. I don't want you to get hurt," he said with concern. "No need to knock when the pie is done, just come in the house. Okay?" She broke the barrier and he would try his hardest to keep it crumbled to the ground as much as he could.

Sophie nodded.

He walked away before he tenderly pulled her into his arms to wipe the sadness from her eyes. He put that there. And he wanted to take it away.

As he closed her front door, he knew that she would never join them. She'd drop the pie off and run back to her house like she always did.

Distance would be better.

That wasn't something he wanted anymore. Just how in the hell could he bridge the gap between them?

Chapter 5

"How is Sophie?" Ava asked with a sly tone as she came up behind Austin, who was mucking out a pig stall.

Austin turned to her, glaring a bit at the intrusion.

How is Sophie?

Good question. A very loaded question.

Vigorously trying to work off the sexual frustration of not pulling Sophie into his arms and Ava has to ask about her. He certainly didn't want to talk about her when his sole purpose was trying to forget about her.

Another long, insufferable week of seeing Sophie briefly here and there, but instead of that wondrous day when she had stood close to him, she had gone back to distancing herself. It made him mad.

"What, no response? Did she get the stairs to the basement fixed and are the spiders gone?" Ava tried again.

"Stairs are fixed. Spiders are gone. I'm busy, Ava," he said, turning back to his task.

"That's it. You know when you get irritated, you are just like Zane. You ignore the issue and get all testy about it. Why can't you just ask her out and see where the relationship could go? Everyone knows you like her," she said with a hand on her hip.

Austin abruptly turned around. "Ava, please kindly leave me alone. I don't want a relationship with anybody. Even if I did want one with Sophie, she sure in the hell doesn't want one with me. She hates men. I am a man."

"Yes, you are. A very kind, loving, generous man who could show her what she deserves and what she's missing. Emmett stopped over the other day and told us about her. He said she's very beautiful and very timid. Perhaps abused at one time. Obviously you have to treat her gently to crack open her shell, but you can't do that if you're not trying."

"I am trying!" he shouted, cringing as he realized what he admitted.

Ava smiled widely. "I knew you liked her. Try a little harder. Invite her to the farm. It helped me heal, maybe it'll help her."

"She'll never come to the farm. She won't even come into my house for a slice of pie that she bakes me," he said with impatience. "Ava, I know you mean the best, but I'm not looking for love. I'm just trying to be her friend. How many more times can I tell you guys that?"

"Until I actually believe it. I see it in your eyes what she means to you and it isn't a simple friendship. I get it. You were burned before with love, but that doesn't mean if it suddenly comes back into your life you push it away because of one crazy bitch that probably didn't deserve your love."

"What? You don't even know who she was or if she was a bitch," he replied.

Ava scoffed at him. "I don't know when you started becoming this player persona you seem to have adopted and maybe you just fell into it right away. The examples I've seen you date are nothing to brag about. I have a good idea that this woman you supposedly loved probably falls into the same category as all these other ridiculous women. How old were you?"

"Why?" he asked, hating this probing of his love life.

"Because it matters. What happened with her?"

Austin sighed. "I was nineteen. She wasn't like the other women. I don't want to talk about it."

"Way too young to know what love is. Did you tell her and was she the same age?"

"Ava, you're killing me here," Austin muttered as he rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. "Yes and yes. She didn't say it back. I know what I felt and it was love, even if I was nineteen."

"Okay, mister smarty-pants. If it was love, then does it feel the same way you feel right now about Sophie? Is it as strong? And she was dumb. Any woman who hears the words 'I love you' from you should cry from happiness. You are a catch, Austin. The woman who finally wins your heart will be the luckiest woman in the world. She isn't worth the pain. Why are you hurting yourself like this? I know the kind of man you can be."

Ava put her hand up to stop his interrupting arguments that would fall flat to her ears anyway. "Maybe you don't love Sophie yet, but you have feelings for her. You're constantly trying to make her happy by giving her things from the farm—and things I've seen you buy claiming they're from the farm. I'm not stupid and don't pretend I am. I'm asking you, for once in your life, to let go of that teenager pain and give a real relationship a chance. You deserve it and I imagine she does, too. You're just the man to pull her from her own turmoil. I won't bug you again about it because ultimately it's your life. I just worry about you."

She walked over to him, jumped on the railing of the stall and leaned over lightly to kiss his cheek. "You're not happy. Going from woman to woman, as if that's fun, is starting to wear you down. I see a light shine in your eyes when you talk about Sophie. Just think about that. You stink, too. Take a shower before you bring those pallets I saw in your truck to Sophie. I know that's why you grabbed them from the meat market."

Ava hopped off the railing and walked away without waiting for a response. Austin watched her, wondering if his pain from the love he lost was really just teenage anguish.

***

"You feel so good, Austin," Cara said as she slid her hand down his chest.

"You too, Cara. It's always something special when we're together. I can't get enough of you, darling," Austin replied, kissing her lips.

"I would love to do it again, but I should get ready for work. You know, Mrs. Shiplay hates it when I'm late, and you tend to make me late…a lot," she said, giggling as he tickled her.

"I can't help myself. You're too delicious. You're everything to me." Austin sucked in a deep breath. "I love you, Cara."

She backed away, pushing him slightly away. "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true. Why do you look so shocked by that?"

"We're just having fun here, Austin. You're a great guy, delightful in bed, but I don't really see us going anywhere," she said.

Austin moved away from her, standing up and grabbing his pants from the floor. "Fun, huh? You're the first woman I even gave a relationship a chance and you're throwing my words in my face. Why can't you see us going anywhere?" he demanded.

"Austin, you're known for fun, not relationships. That's why I started seeing you because I knew I didn't have to worry about things going serious. Obviously, I was wrong. I plan on being a big time lawyer or doctor or…I haven't figured it out yet, but you'll never leave the farm. I'm not going to be a farmer's wife. Sorry."

For a brief moment, he froze in place. "So, you used me basically? This was nothing more than a romp in the sheets," Austin exclaimed, pointing to the bed. "Because I'm no better than a
stupid farm boy, not good enough for a fancy lawyer or doctor or whatever the hell you decide to be."

"You're not stupid, you're fun. I seriously don't know why you fell in love with me anyway. I thought it was just the sex."

"I don't know why the hell I did either. You're clearly a horrible person because you don't care how I feel right now. I did have fun with you, but not just while we were in bed. I had fun going swimming, hanging out at the bowling alley, doing things with you. I thought that's what a relationship entailed! That's what made me fall in love with you."

She started laughing at him. "Horrible person? I can be more horrible if you like. Get the hell out! You're nothing more than a farm boy and I don't want your love. Unless you can provide me with money to get out of this hellhole, you're nothing but a good fixture in my bed. I don't know why you had to ruin a good thing between us by bringing in the L word."

"I don't know either. I can guarantee you I won't be bringing nothing back to you, in bed or out. I think you've cured me from ever seeing love again. Obviously, it doesn't exist. Good luck with finding your love of money," he exclaimed, grabbing his shirt from the floor and walked out of her apartment, slamming the door as he went.

***

Austin stood in the stall thinking about that fateful day. She had been cruel and mean with the words she threw at him. He thought back to the so-called love he felt for her.

Maybe Ava was right. Was it just teenage love?

He had enjoyed hanging out at the usual spots with her, laughing with her, drinking with her, and then ultimately falling into bed with her. At the time, he felt love, a deep aching love.

Well, most of his body parts felt a deep ache—maybe that ache wasn't so much love as it was lust. Cara was one of the best he ever had in bed. He always enjoyed women to the fullest extent and he couldn't figure out what made Cara any different.

He shook his head with irritation that Ava was right. Cara had been like all the other women he ever dated. Except she had been the longest he dated.

It came to him instantly and clearly.

Her words.

They hurt.

He was nothing but a farmer boy, not good enough. He opened himself up to someone and they threw nasty words back. He was too scared to try again, afraid he would never measure up to what a woman wanted.

Just a simple farmer. Nothing fancy about that. He didn't make loads of money and sometimes they struggled to make ends meet.

Easy.

Taking the easy way out. Definitely easier to skim by in life going from woman to woman than to open himself up to another tirade of horrible, damaging words. No woman was worth that sort of pain.

Just as suddenly, Sophie's face popped into his mind. Her beautiful, shy, fierce face tingled his senses, awakening a yearning deep inside. Not just a sexual awakening either. A deep, soul-searching, connecting one. He wanted to hear her fears, her pains, why she shied away as she did. He wanted to simply pull her into his arms and hold her until it all went away.

Love wasn't just about fun. It also grabbed a hold of the hard times, to soothe those pains away.

It did feel different with Sophie. He just wasn't sure he was ready to open himself up again, even to her. When he thought about her, the temptation was strong. But the pain that could possibly follow scared him. He had no doubt she could damage him more than Cara ever did.

He decided he needed to clean out a few more stalls to get a good direction of where to proceed with Sophie. Should he try harder at cracking open her shell? Should he attempt to put himself out there for her to possibly rip his heart to shreds?

He was leaning towards yes—yes, he should. Just thinking about her sweet smile made him want to try. He had to think carefully before he did. He knew it wouldn't be an easy road to tow.

Work always helped clear his mind and find a good decision. The shovel lifted to load more manure into the wheel barrel when Ava came running towards him.

"Austin! I just got a call from the precinct. Your house was broken into and they caught the person. I have no idea if anything's missing. We should go," Ava said, concerned, yet ready to tackle the scene.

Austin threw the shovel over the side, laying it against the stall and hopped out. "What do you mean? How do you know all this?"

"First of all, I work for the police. I know all. They got the person as they were coming out of the house, so they're still at the scene. Come on already. It was a woman, too. Quit dating trash," Ava said, as she walked away.

He rubbed a hand over his face, wondering how much worse the day could get as he followed Ava out of the barn.

They made it to his house less than ten minutes later. As he pulled up in front of his house, he glanced at the commotion by the curb making him slam on the brakes, jerking both of them roughly.

"What the hell, Austin? Do you need to drive like a maniac?" Ava exclaimed.

Austin pointed out the window as he hastily threw his seatbelt off. "Sophie! She's in handcuffs. Why?"

Austin rushed out of the vehicle, almost decking the officer who stood hovering over Sophie as she sat on the curb, head down and her hands cuffed behind her back. Axel sat next to her, baring his teeth, guarding her for all he was worth.

"What's going on here? Why the hell is she in handcuffs? Let her go now," Austin yelled at the officer.

Sophie jerked her head up when she heard his voice. Austin cursed softly when he saw her tear-stained face, a few tears still running down as she sat dejected and lonely. He looked back at the officer when he made no move to remove them. "Did you hear what I said? Take the damn cuffs off her."

"Austin, I can't. She broke into your house. Last time I checked, that's a crime," he replied, cringing when he saw Ava walk up to them with a glare that could peel his skin off without effort.

"She didn't break into my house. She wouldn't. Take the handcuffs off before I deck you," Austin said through clenched teeth as he glanced at Sophie, who looked surprised by his words. And scared. She looked so scared it killed him inside.

"We received a call that your neighbor across the street heard loud noises and saw someone in your house. When I arrived on the scene, I saw her at the back door and it looked like she just walked out. There's glass all over the porch and the kitchen door window is shattered to pieces. Says to me she did it."

"Officer Adams, take the handcuffs off. This is Austin's neighbor. She wouldn't hurt a fly nor break into anyone's house, least of all Austin's. She has a key. Why would she break in if she has a key? She wouldn't. Do it now before I get really angry," Ava demanded. "And did you secure the scene?"