Trust in Me (5 page)

“Uh-uh. I’m enjoying this.”

“What? Making me rip out your hair?” Because she would. She needed the release she could feel just beyond her grasp. Hidden somewhere below, where he stirred his fingertips and dipped just within her. She wanted him deeper. Ached to have him deeper. Locke had filled her before, completely. The satisfaction of it remained in her dreams to this day, until she almost wondered if her body had been made to fit his. If only they could… No, even this had a shadow of risk, but she couldn’t turn back now. She clenched his wrist in her grip, trying to move closer.

“Shhh, baby, let me give this to you. You’re almost there,” he crooned into her ear.

She thought he was nuzzling her neck, which, all right, it felt nice, but it wasn’t what she needed. Not until she turned her head, and he suddenly clamped down, his teeth finding an erogenous zone she didn’t know she had. Two thick fingers plunged into her, the ball of his hand striking her clit with each devastating thrust. Blinding white went off behind her eyes at the same time a keening wail tore through the air.

She drifted in that white, melting in that pleasure, distantly aware of the man beside her, holding her, kissing soothingly along the line of her neck. She smiled, the sensation of being pet like a cat almost silly after that giant sexual overload. But it was also so…wonderful. No pressure to hurry back to him, to return any favors. Just that rough, warm hand roving from her neck, down her chest to her belly, again and again and again. She wanted to raise her lashes and say something to him, but her eyes weren’t cooperating and her body had melted into practically nothing.

“Sleep, baby.”

Baby… Yes, she had to tell him soon. Three more days, and she’d tell him everything. Until then, she’d treasure every second of this bliss that she could…

He never would have guessed hell could make him this happy.

Sure, he was folded up like a grasshopper to fit on this bed that was actually too small for Susie, tangled in blankets he didn’t need, and his cock had been aching like an unsatisfied bitch for over an hour, but none of those things mattered. Susie was in his arms. Her long body wrapped around him the way he’d dreamt of for three miserable months. One arm draped over his shoulder, her leg folded over his hip, all that sun-gold skin bare for him to stroke. The jeans were strangling him, but it was worth it.

He gently pushed her hair off her face, petting the heavy black waves back. He didn’t have to be so careful, he knew. She was practically in a coma now, her body so relaxed he could probably carry her to his own, much more comfortable bed across town without stirring her. She likely wouldn’t be too happy about that when she woke up, though, so he contented himself with running his hand up and down her back. Over the curve of her hip, hugging her thigh tighter to his side. So what if he spent the rest of his life with bed-induced scoliosis, he was happy.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d said that to himself. He’d had happiness, of course. The days his siblings had graduated from high school. Every time one of them succeeded. Or just when they were all together, the teasing and laughter of a full, happy family filling the house to its rafters. Knowing he’d done right by them, despite the mistakes he’d made along the way.

This was different.

He sighed, releasing the tension that had been his constant companion all these months. This wasn’t about his siblings. It had nothing to do with pride. Susie and his pride had a definite exclusionary agreement. No, this was about…belonging.

Being exactly where he was meant to be.

Doing what he was meant to do.

Taking care of the ones he loved.

You’ve got too much of your mama in you, boy.
He could just hear his father’s voice, affectionate and bemused as ever.
If you two had your way, the whole world would still be in their nappies.
That’s what he had always said when he caught Locke keeping too close an eye on whichever kid was toddling their way into trouble, just before ruffling his hair so hard Locke always checked afterward if any was left. Not that his father ever meant to hurt him, but Finn Jackman wasn’t always the best judge of his own strength. He did everything wholeheartedly—laughing, loving, living. Good times or bad, he found joy in the little things and spread it around.

Locke knew how much he looked like his father, to the point that there was almost no trace of his mother to be seen, but he always wished he took after the man in that way as well. His mother was a born nurturer. She kind of had to be with seven kids, not to mention anyone else who passed by. A heart too big for her chest, his father used to say. She took care of people and it made her happy to do it. And when she needed care, his father was always there. Making her smile, making her whole.

That was what Locke always wanted, why he never settled for someone who would have been willing to help him raise the kids. Something was always missing, until he simply accepted the fact that he was never going to find it.

Then Susie drove into town in a cloud of dust…

And it found him.

Maybe she was right, he wasn’t a romantic man. But from the first time she turned around to look at him, lifting those crazy plastic sunglasses and pulling that cherry lollipop from her red-stained lips, he knew what he’d been waiting so long for. That gut-punch sensation that he’d just met the rest of his life.

It was here again, settling lazily into his bones, causing his eyelids to droop and his body to finally relax.

This was where he belonged.

Now to just find a way for Susie to figure out the same thing…

He smiled down at the woman draped over him, pure pleasure taking the last sting from his unquenched hunger. Sleep finally had him in thrall, tugging gently, but he fought it just a little longer. He wanted to enjoy this as long as he was able. Just look at her and soak in the fact that she’d accepted him. Not completely, but he knew a foot in the door when he had one. Susie wasn’t getting rid of him after this. Hell, he might even enjoy watching her try.

If he had to fall in love with a difficult woman, at least he’d had the intelligence to do it with a beautiful one. He pressed a soft kiss to her slightly parted lips, anticipation of the battle ahead making him grin. The light from the living room beyond the open door cast her face into sharp shadow, but he knew it by heart anyway. How pink her mouth was, especially when she licked her lips. Or he did. How her black lashes fanned down when her eyes closed, making him wish he could paint instead of carve. Then again, paint would hardly do her any justice…

He yawned as he ran his hand over her shoulder, up to where her elbow angled around his neck. Lean muscle, soft, warm skin. Impossibly soft. Softer even than their night in the cabin… He frowned a little, not sure why the realization bothered him. She sold all kinds of skin and hair things, things women might use to lure their lovers to bed. Surely softer skin would be on that list…

His mind, lulled by the peace and satisfaction he’d been enjoying, didn’t cough up anything but a faint sense of something not quite right. Pieces of a puzzle he hadn’t even noticed before. A puzzle having to do with Susie… Her skin being different was just a clue, but it wasn’t one he could figure out. There were other things that were different, but nothing to get worried about. Like her hair feeling thicker, the waves having tightened until they were almost dollopy curls against his face. Or her breasts, heavier in his palm. More sensitive in his mouth…

He woke a little more at that. He’d attributed her responsiveness to the fact that it had been too long, for both of them. Maybe even a little because it was
him
touching her. God knew
her
hands on him damn near made him embarrass himself in his jeans. Would just his touch make her sensitive enough to scream and nearly drown his fingers while he’d stroked her to orgasm?

He blinked, sleep definitely losing its grip.

She was lusher, in subtle ways. Fuller. How did a woman who’d been sick with a lingering flu and hardly anything edible in her house manage to get
lusher
?
A woman who’d spent the last several weeks looking at
him
with fear. A woman who never had cause to fear him before that night in his bed.

Maybe you’re not the one who can’t be trusted…

His heart stopped. It just…stopped.

She couldn’t be. She’d have told him. Weeks ago, she would have told him. And she’d said she was safe… No, wait. He’d asked her if she had brought any condoms in her purse and she had only shaken her head.
It’s not something I have to worry about…

She was worried now, though.

Worried. Scared. All but running from him.

Take away his assumptions about her feelings and the clues spoke for themselves.

Susie was pregnant. He knew it like he knew the currents in the water were shifting when he was rowing. That a race was won or lost before the finish line was crossed. Like he knew the night they made this happen, that he ran the risk of losing her forever if he didn’t keep his heart to himself. She was pregnant. With
his
baby.

Susie mumbled a discontented sound, pushing against his chest. It took him a second to realize he was squeezing her too tight. He immediately relaxed his arm around her, whispering for her to sleep. She settled quickly, a sigh of contentment slipping from her as she did.

He stared down at her, trying to see some evidence in the darkness, one way or another. Nothing more than he already knew. A beautiful woman slept in his arms, trustfully and deeply. She smiled, nuzzling closer, nudging deeper into his heart than she had a right to go if she didn’t plan to stay.

This woman could break him, a fact he knew but had never bothered him until right now. She had secrets, terrible secrets if his instincts were right. A past she never spoke of. A future she seemed dead set on keeping to herself. Did she have room in it for a baby? For him? For the first time, he actually wondered if the answer was no.

Susie often accused him of being presumptuous, and he knew he was, but he’d never been too concerned about it. Most of the time he was right and he’d figured if he just waited patiently, he’d wear her down. She would realize they belonged together and happily give in to the inevitable.

He lay there now, holding her through the night, trying to wrap his brain around the situation. He was in love with a woman who didn’t want to love him back. She was carrying his baby and apparently had no interest in telling him about it. Did he tell her he suspected? Or should he wait for her to come to him on her own?

It was his turn to snort incredulously.

He might be an unromantic bastard but he wasn’t a moron. Susie had managed to keep just about all her secrets in a town like Rancho del Cielo for two years. Not even Mata Hari could have pulled off that feat. No, she wouldn’t tell him if she didn’t have to. But even she couldn’t hide a pregnancy forever, so “have to” wasn’t going to be very far off.

Was it stupid that he wanted her to
want
to tell him? To hope she might be happy about it?

Probably. Susie had a way of making him stupid, though.

Dawn crawled across the ceiling, lighting the room little by little, but it didn’t bring any answers. Nothing did, not even the flutter of Susie’s eyelashes.

She raised herself onto her forearms, a sleepy grin on her utterly relaxed face while she rubbed her eye with the butt of her palm. “Hi.”

“Hi.” His voice felt tight, but she didn’t seem to notice. In fact, she seemed ridiculously happy, given the night he’d spent mentally pacing. Unlike every other time he was remotely bothered, she was gloriously oblivious. He shifted for her when she settled down again, putting her face on his chest and snuggling. For the love of God, she was
snuggling
him. How was he supposed to think when she did that?

Absently, he rubbed her back and she groaned before she kissed his chest. “I take it all back.”

He swallowed. “Take what back?”

“Everything I ever said about sleeping with you being a bad idea.” She hugged him tighter. “I feel better than I have in… God, it feels like forever.”

Note to self: Susie is a morning person.
Unwisely, he wondered if that meant she was more inclined toward morning sex. He used to love morning sex, years and years ago, when he hadn’t had to worry about getting home before the sitter committed homicide. Waking up with a happy, sleep-warmed Susie, with her wandering hands and pleased, sexy smiles?

He bit back a groan, but nothing could loosen his jeans. The feel of her bare breasts on his belly was not helping either…

“Did you sleep okay?” She set her chin on his chest, waiting expectantly to hear that she’d helped him just as much.

So many things came to mind that he could say. Angry things. Things that would change their entire relationship forever. Things he had every right to think and say. But she was looking at him openly, waiting for him to be happy with her. Trusting him, exactly the way he’d asked. The longer he took to answer, the more unsure she became, the corners of her grin starting to wobble, the happiness in her eyes dimming degree by degree.

All his anger turned to shit.

No matter how mad he was, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her. Not in any way. Damn, but he loved her. And somewhere under her fears and worries, she cared just as much about him. If she didn’t, he wouldn’t be here. Simple as that.

That was when he knew what he had to do.

The same way he’d coaxed her to this moment, he had to coax her into his life. Her and the baby, both. He’d have to wait. Show her he was worth the risk. The same way she was.

Cupping his hand to her cheek, he smiled as best he was able, desperate to reassure her. “Best night’s sleep in ages.”

Her smile, when it came, melted any reserves he had left.

He would find a way to make her his. Any way, even if he had to break a few rules—maybe even his own heart. He would get her to love him.