Trust Me (20 page)

He talks directly into my ear. “Listen to me. I don’t regret what I did. I was right in my assessment that you completely ignored any male who even breathed your way. I had to change the way I ran into you. If you even thought I was coming on to you, you would have brushed me off, like that other fucker who wouldn’t leave you alone. Do you know how hard it was not to go and talk to you right then and there? I spent the afternoon trying to plan how to accidentally run into you in the lobby of your hotel. I was praying that you would come down to see the sunset.

“I had to have you, Alli. I had to have the
us
that I knew we could be. I had never reacted to someone the way I did with you. Just looking at you had me crazy for you. You also felt that energy between us that first time, and you know it. Did I deceive you by knowing more than I let on? Yes, I did. I didn’t know your last name, but yes, I could have found it out if my hand had been pushed. Alli, I’m a man who knows what he wants and goes after it. Part of that is why you are attracted to me. Can’t you see that?”

He pauses to see if I am going to respond, but I stay silent. Tears are still running down my face in endless streaks.

When I say nothing, he continues, “Classifying this as moving fast is the biggest understatement of the year, but I don’t think either one of us could slow this down if we tried. We were meant to find each other, Alli. What if I had gone about us meeting in the normal way, and you shut me down like the others? Would you prefer that we hadn’t met and then missed out on everything that’s happened between us over the past couple of weeks? Because, baby, that’s where it would have gone if I had done it the other way. And even though you’re pissed right now, deep down, you know it’s true. I would have never gotten the chance to fall in love with you. I can’t regret something that brought you to me.”

Holy hell, did he just say he’s fallen in love with me? Has he fallen this hard, this fast, too? He’s right on so many different levels. He still had no right though even if we probably wouldn’t be together right now. What a freaking circle my mind has become. Wasn’t it just a few hours ago when Sam brought me to face this realization out loud? This is so fast and overwhelming on one hand and so beautiful and perfect on the other. He has fallen in love with me!

I start sobbing because all these emotions are just too much. My emotions are normally much more in check, but the extremes I feel with Damien are causing me to have stronger outbursts. He makes it impossible for me to suppress myself around him, like I was able to do for the last year before I met him.

Leaning his head on my shoulder, he soothingly says, “Please don’t cry. Talk to me.”

I turn from the skyline in his embrace and cry into his chest. Letting go of everything I have been holding in is therapeutic on so many levels. By no means do I want to become that crazy, emotional girlfriend, but that was a hell of a lot to take in.

In between unladylike sobs, I manage to say, “Can we sit down?”
Maybe if we sit, I can pull myself together.

“Of course, baby.”

He leads me back over to the chaise lounge, and we sit down on the edge.
This is a good position.
We are close but not intimately close. I still need a little distance and perspective.

“Talk to me, Alli. I know I fucked up.”

I sit there for a few minutes, trying to get my thoughts straight. “This is a lot to take in. I won’t have our relationship based on omissions, Damien. That’s not healthy. That doesn’t build trust.”

He leans over and uses his thumb to gently wipe away my tears. My body automatically moves toward him at his touch. He knows that I can’t help but respond to him.

“I should have come clean about it sooner, but I didn’t want to do that on the phone. You were so skittish about putting yourself out there, and I couldn’t take the chance you’d leave. I wouldn’t give you a reason to walk away. I’m sorry you’re hurt and feel betrayed. Honestly though, I’m not sorry for what I did to meet you because I have you in my arms right now. What I did gave me the best night of my life, the night I made love to you for the first time. I won’t apologize for my actions because it led me to falling in love with you.

I inhale a shaky breath and look him in the eyes. “What?”

He meets my gaze, and in a strong, unwavering voice, he answers, “Baby, I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since the night you slept in my arms in your hotel room in Miami.”

I can’t hold back any longer. This man just confessed his love for me. I tackle him onto the lounge and start kissing him with everything I have. It’s a little unladylike, but he loves me! We’re both trying to find our way through this relationship, but at least I now know that he feels the same as I do.

Before I know it, he has flipped me onto my back, his body hovering on top of mine. Interlocking our hands, he intimately brings them above my head and stares at me. “I’m in love with you, Alli. You’re it for me.”

Staring back at him, I say, “I’m in love with you, too.”

He groans as he unites our mouths together. It’s cathartic after the emotional roller coaster that just transpired. We both need to feel that connection that says everything is okay between us.

Slowly, he peels my clothes off of me, then his.

As he slips inside me, he says, “There’s nothing more perfect than when I am inside you.”

In that moment, everything is right in the world. We take our time and appreciate each other’s bodies as we come to a slow, loving climax.

Returning to reality, I’m thankful for the privacy provided by the screen since we are outside, lying naked with our bodies entwined. While I’m lying against him with my leg across his, his hands are leisurely worshiping me, moving from my hip up to my shoulder.

“Say it again.” His eyes are beckoning me.

Resolutely, I respond, “I really love you. Please don’t mislead me like that again.”

“I love you, too, Alli, and I won’t.”

We lie there and stare at each other, taking in the gigantic step we have just made in our relationship.

After a while of just basking in our love, Damien takes me from my thoughts. “So, when are you going to tell me about what happened while we were apart? I should have canceled my morning meetings today to talk about it, but I figured you needed some sleep and time with Sam.”

“Your late-night antics wore me out.” I smile sweetly at him, so he knows I’m kidding.

He kisses the top of my head. “If memory serves me correctly, I was provoked.”

I just giggle, and he pulls me closer to him. I place my hand on his tattoo and start tracing it. It seems to bring us both comfort.

“Last week, I went home for a job interview. Only Sam and her parents knew about it. The only reason I didn’t tell you was because I was afraid I would jinx myself. Everything in my life has been going so well, and I just didn’t want it to stop.”

“And how did the interview go?” His voice is consoling and inviting. Most importantly though, he sounds supportive.

I take a deep breath. I’m nervous about what he is going to think because I’m sure he finished college. “Good…actually, I’ve decided, for the time being, not to continue my college education.”

He lifts his head to see my face. “Why would you do that?” It’s not a judgmental tone but a perplexed one.

“Well, I’ve just been going through the motions to get a degree in something I have no interest in. Right before my parents died, a magazine was interested in giving me an internship. They reached out to me before I left for Miami. They said they had an opening and wanted to interview me. They offered me a position. I’ll be given first right of refusal to provide certain images they need, and I’ll be in charge of photo shoots. So, basically, if I don’t want to shoot it, I don’t have to. Any shoots I turn down will go to a backup photographer. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do, but I was too scared to go after it.”

“Congratulations. Which magazine is it?”

I’m so excited that he seems happy for me. “It’s
Do-It-Yourself Home Interiors
. I’m really thrilled about it. I know I should get my degree to be safe, but I just can’t pass up this opportunity. My parents always wanted me to be happy. They encouraged me to pursue my photography dream, but I was terrified of failure. My choice regarding my career was the last thing we argued about prior to the accident.” I continue focusing hard on the intricate design on his chest in order to avoid getting bogged down by those memories.

“What happened?” Damien is lightly stroking my hair with one hand while the other is resting on my upper thigh.

Maybe it will feel good to get this off my chest.
“Well, a few days before they died, my mom was worried that I wasn’t doing something I loved with my life. We argued about it, and my mom said, ‘We have to take risks with our hearts and not follow our minds.’ I disagreed. They just wanted me to be happy and not necessarily do what I thought was safe.

“The first day of summer break, Sam and I went to a college art show where I had an exhibit, and by the end of the show, I was offered an internship at this magazine. I couldn’t wait to tell my parents the good news. Before I headed home, I took Sam to her parents’ house, and that was when I found out about the accident. I never got to tell my mom and dad that I was going to follow my heart instead of my mind. After they died, I decided to follow my mind because my heart felt like it was gone.” A tear slides down my cheek as I hug Damien.

Soothingly, he responds, “I didn’t know them, but there’s no way they wouldn’t be proud of the woman you’ve become.”

“That’s what Sam and her parents said after we discussed my plan. My parents just wanted me to be happy above anything else. Sam’s mom and dad said my parents wouldn’t have cared what I did as long as I was happy.” Nervously, I add, “I’d like to show you my work sometime.”

“I’d like that very much. So, when do you start your new job?”

“In a few weeks. Their current photographer is retiring in five months or so. He’s been there forever. I’m going to apprentice under him and accompany him on a few shoots to get the feel of the magazine before he leaves.”

Damien lovingly looks at me as I speak passionately about what I will be doing.

“I’m so happy for you, baby. Don’t take this the wrong way, but if you need anything, it’s yours. Don’t stress about things. I can help.”

What? Is he implying that I need his money?
“That is not why I told you. I’m fine. I don’t need or want your money, Damien, if that’s what you’re insinuating.” My voice has more ice in it than I intend.

“Calm down, Alli. I wasn’t trying to insult you. You won’t be in school, and you’ll just be starting out professionally. I don’t want you to go without anything you might need.”

When he puts his hands up in mock surrender, I smile. It’s hard to stay irritated at him when I know he’s only concerned. However, he still needs to understand where I stand on this.

“I appreciate your offer, but I can take care of myself. I am not some gold digger, Damien. I would have never made the decision to quit school if I couldn’t support myself. I don’t expect anything but your love from you.”

Now, he’s getting agitated.

“I was just trying to help the girl I love. Like I said, I don’t want you going without, baby. I work hard for what I have, and I want you to have the best.”

I can tell he’s using a lot of control to keep a calm tone.

Geez, we both need to calm down.
Maybe if I tell him about my circumstances, he’ll stop trying to overcompensate for a situation that doesn’t exist.
I take a deep breath. “My parents left me a small fortune, and I still have money from when I had to sell the farm, which had drastically increased in value since they bought it years ago. They saved every penny to try and give me a good inheritance one day. You don’t have to worry about me.”

His finger comes to my chin, bringing my face up to meet his, and he looks into my eyes. “Alli, I’m still going to take care of you, like a boyfriend should, but I’ll respect your need for independence.”

Well, good. At least we have that cleared up.
“Did we actually compromise on something? I can’t believe it.”

My mouth drops open in feigned shock, and he squeezes my ass. We are smiling at each other.

“I believe we did, baby.”

I’m surprised he hasn’t asked me a million questions about my schedule. “Are you worried about how me not being in school will affect us?”

Confidently, he responds, “It won’t affect us. We’ll adjust where we need to in order to make this work. If you think I would let something like that come between us, baby, you have seriously underestimated my commitment to you. If this is something you want, that’s all I need to know.”

Just when I think he can’t get any more magnificent, he takes his depth of feelings for me to a whole new level.

Nonchalantly, I continue, “Well, there are some additional benefits, but if you’re not worried about it at all, there’s no need to discuss.” It’s so much fun to play with him when it’s just us.

“And those would be?” His eyes flash with mischief.

“I thought you didn’t care?”

At that, Damien starts his own kind of torture as he slowly moves his hand to my sex.
He is going to drive me mad.
If I let this go much further without giving in, I know he will torment me even more.

“Okay. I call uncle. I give,” I say through breathy heated laughter.
Oh man. Mental note—no goading unless at a safe distance away.

As he continues his torturous onslaught, I hurriedly say, “Well, no school means a lot more free time with you because there will be no studying, homework, and papers. Also, I get to make my own schedule as long as I meet the magazine’s deadlines, and I can pass shoots on to a freelancer. Whatever the magazine has to pay the freelancer is just deducted from my pay. So, bottom line, my schedule will be more flexible, and with your crazy work schedule, we need all the flexibility we can get.”
Shit, that was wordy, but his hands are making me lose focus.

His soft lips lean down and kiss me. Before I can deepen the kiss, he pulls back, “Now, those are great benefits.”