Trust Me (7 page)

He shrugged again. “Just since meeting you and Noah, it’s obvious you guys are close. You understand each other when no one else knows what you’re saying. You have each other’s backs, and seem more like friends than siblings.”

“We’re all we have.” I said.

I leaned to the side to look at Noah as he came and sat on the other side of Chad. “Carrie, give the poor boy a break. I was being a dick earlier. Chad explained himself. You’re safe, Sissy.”

“Yeah, I figured as much. Where’s Ramey? Are you hiding?”

Just then I saw Ramey coming towards us with two beers in hand, all her friends gone. “Uh… Noah?”

I wasn’t sure what move he wanted me to make, and I needed an answer quick.

“No, it’s cool. She knows the score. She’s coming home with us tonight.” And like that I wanted to smack him. Noah was only good with cold comfort; he didn’t take into consideration of the girls feelings. Ramey was not going to take the brush off lightly. “Trust, Carrie.” He said his eyes drilling into mine.

Trust
or
trust me
was kind of code for Noah and me. It was universal for
I get it, I mean it, I promise,
and of course,
trust me
. He knew I was disappointed.

“Whatever.” I looked at Chad who was watching us with some odd fascination. I just smiled. “Want to head out for that ride?”

As the words left my mouth, Shamus came over with the guitars again. “We got a request, boys, care to play an encore?”

Everyone started cheering and Chad leaned the guitar against the log with a gentleness that one would use when laying a sleeping baby down. It was sweet seeing him so completely consumed by something. “Not tonight. I got a pretty girl willing to let me drive her home…” He looks at me with a smile, then to Noah, but scoffs when he sees Noah watching him close. “And her brother is a dick so I’m out!”

As I stand to follow Chad, I bend down to say my farewells to Noah and tell him to be gentle with Ramey when she actually pipes up. “Carrie, Noah was telling me that you play as well and that you can sing. Why don’t you ever join in?”

I actually liked Ramey as opposed to all the other chicks my brother would bring around, with the exception of Candy. Ramey was a clinger, no doubt, but she had good intentions. No matter, I hated being put on the spot almost as much as I hated knowing my brother talked to her about me. Where was the code?

“Really, Noah? Trust!” I said angrily and turned to follow Chad who came walking back and grabbed me around the waist.

“Oh no you don’t, I wanna hear you jam.” He got in close and spoke into my neck in a whisper. “Nothing is sexier than a woman with a guitar and a tune. Play me something, Carrie girl.”

Jeeze! I was almost panting! Who could say no to a request like that? Besides, he didn’t need to know that I was suddenly fantasizing about playing the guitar naked while sitting in his lap… not like it would ever happen, but still.

Noah looked pissed as he pulled away from Ramey and I caught the end of his scolding her. “… never told you shit about my baby sis, so how the fuck do you know this shit? Are you a fucking stalker?”

I felt bad for Ramey because Noah was drawing attention to them and I really don’t think she meant anything by it. “Noah, calm down, I’m sure she heard it in passing or something. It’s not like it’s a secret.” I brushed off the creep factor of yet another fangirl of Noah’s getting a little too nosey and strapped on the guitar. Might as well get this over with already.

I started strumming the first few chords to ‘
Nutshell
’ by
Alice in Chains
and saw Noah soften immediately. Chad groaned, and Shamus and Cal both cursed.

“Jesus, Carrie, you too?” Shamus asked with a laugh, and I knew they were referring to Noah’s die hard obsession with
Alice in Chains
. They had even an
AIC
cover band before they realized they had real raw talent.

I laughed. “Who do you think taught me? Of course I know Alice tunes.”

Everyone was laughing and I continued to strum the chords as all eyes fell to me. I wanted to hide under a rock, but Noah had a request. “Play some ‘
Name’
, sissy. You do it best.”

I started strumming immediately when my eyes locked with my brother’s. I remembered the chords easily as I played through the first few bars when Shame started laughing. “You’re fucking kidding me… she looks just like him.”

The ‘
him’
in question was Noah, and I did look like him. I had mimicked every aspect of his skills when he’d taught me to play.

“Who chose this song, Carrie?” Chad asked me, just as captivated as Noah was when I played; only from Noah I saw pride and sentiment… from Chad I saw heat, serious heat, and it made me want to play all night.

“Noah did.” I said and let the intro play again since everyone was talking. I just kept playing, hoping to get out of singing.

“Noah chose a Goo Goo Dolls song?” Shame and Chad asked in unison.

“Bullshit.” Cal yelled from back by the coolers.

“Carrie demanded a song choice of her own when I was teaching her. I, of course, was molding the rhythm guitarist in my AIC cover band, so that was everything we were playing then. She was so sick of playing Alice, so I told her to pick a song and not bitch about it.” He laughed and chugged his beer.

“She’s fuckin’ awesome.” Chad spoke reverently and it made my hands tremble. He took a seat behind me so that I was now sitting between his legs, his hands resting on the sides of my thighs. I could smell his cologne as it mingled perfectly with the fire smell, his beer and the rain. I could feel his breath on my neck and his closeness sent goose bumps down my arms.

“You have no idea. Sing it, girl.” Noah said.

I knew if I sang it I would cry. I always did. This song was a reminder of our childhood and emotionally personal for the both of us. I looked at Chad beside me. I had stopped playing when Noah was telling the story, prepared to defend myself. Now Chad’s gaze was drilling into me and I couldn’t help but blush.

“Oh, I have to hear it. Will you sing it for me?” His eyes were smoldering and I couldn’t, in that instant, deny how much I was falling for this Chad Blake game. And I didn’t give a shit.

I said nothing and started the song over again. I couldn’t tear my eyes from the guitar as I sang. I could feel Chad’s whiskey eyes, intoxicating, dark and burning as he watched me, his face close to my cheek. I was thankful that he couldn’t make me watch him from the angle we were sitting; this song would show too much.

I could hear Noah’s hum of approval on a specific verse, but kept playing.

And now
we’re grown up orphans

That never knew their names

We don’t belong to no one,
that’s a shame

But you could hide beside me maybe for a while

I won’t tell
no one your name

I played through the song and kept my eyes on my strings. It was a party packed with professionals, so I was terrified of screwing up. I played straight through to the end, tear free, thank God. The crowd had started clapping in the bridge at the end before the song slows again. I looked at Noah then and could see that age old pride in his eyes. He was holding Ramey’s hand and for just an instant I wished he would relax and let the moment take him in and feel loved. Candy would be my choice for him, but I would take Ramey if Noah would let her in. As the song ended and everyone started cheering, Noah stood and came to me, hugging me close. “Good job, Sissy.”

I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t. Noah knew. He’d seen me watch my strings, disregard the nerves and focus. It was pride he had for me and maybe a small sense of loss. I think he was seeing in Chad what he thought I might see down the road. Good or bad, Noah knew exactly what I was in for.

*

Chad and I drove down the back roads and looked at the old farm houses and pier bars that I wished I could go to. He talked about making it big and playing in some of the more popular clubs, and I said I would love to see a show of his. He looked at me, shocked. “I know I probably sound like a fool, but are you honestly telling me you have never been to a show?”

I nodded and blushed a little. “I think if I had been to a show I would have said hi to you and the guys, don’t ya think? Noah is a little more than protective when it comes to his music. He says it’s his outlet and all that, so I respected it and stayed away. After that bull tonight though, I think he was full of it and wanted me away from the whoredom.” I trailed off. Noah was a total downer and I didn’t want to talk about him right now.

Chad gave me one of his patented killer smiles and winked at me. “Well then, it’s now my mission in life to get you to a show.”

I laughed, who did he think he was foolin’? “Look, I already find you attractive, Chad. I don’t need you all sweaty on stage to make my knees weak, so the whole ‘I’m a rockstar, baby’ vibe… you can drop it.”

He shifted gears and even that was sexy. “Carrie, it wasn’t a line. To be honest, I don’t need lines to get girls. They come willingly.”

He was cocky and arrogant for sure, but he was also honest. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he meant that comment as a fact and not bragging rights. A woman with more morals and values than I might have called him on his shit right then and there, but I had seen and done things in my twenty years that made it very hard to shock me. I took most things at face value and Chad was a legend in Gig Harbor, he was drop dead gorgeous and had the bad boy swagger thing down to a T. Just the tattoos and that face alone would bring the girls in hordes. Add in the lead singer thing, and he was a lady killer.

The night grew quiet and so did the cab of the truck. I was completely shocked when he pulled into my long dirt driveway. Our house was set far back so that our backyard faced the water of the harbor. I was both relieved and depressed because I thought we were going to make out, hell hold hands, something…anything but the brush off. I decided that he obviously wasn’t interested because I have ‘
crazybigbrotheritis
’. I got a little huffy and opened the door to head inside.

It wasn’t even midnight for fuck’s sake!

"Where you going?"

I stopped.

I was...confused… again.

I had no intentions of making out in my front yard when Noah could come home early and ruin everything for the second time tonight. "I figured this was the end of the trip."

"Do you have to go?"

I should because you scare me.
"No."

"Good." He got out and went to the back of the truck and dropped the tail gate. I followed and hopped up to sit beside him. Again he took my hand into his. "I like the view here."

I looked for the view and was stumped. The only view we had from the front yard was the small, yet immaculate yard of ours. Because we had never had a yard of our own, Noah and I took pride in the little yard. I looked at Chad. "What view do you see? The backyard has the view of the lake.”

"This one..." He said and cupped my cheek. "I like looking at you... I like you, Carrie."

The way he said my name gave me chills and I wanted so badly for him to kiss me. When he didn’t, I sighed, almost feeling relieved. Then I decided my bipolar emotions were pissing me off. "I think I like you too. You freak me out though. You’re intense, in a good way."

He laughed. God, I loved that sound.

"How so?" He asked. He absentmindedly brushed his thumb across my knuckles.

"Because I am super inexperienced with this stuff and I know you aren’t." I felt such shame at that statement, though I should be proud of my
unskankiness
. With Chad though, there was no defense, no Teflon, no anti-Chad spray. I wanted him.

"I’m not looking for any strange, Carrie. I like you. I can get sex anywhere."

I hated how blunt he was. I knew he was
Mr.
Comefuckme
... I didn’t need him reminding me.

"But I like you, and regardless of your brother’s bullshit, or the fact I’m four years older. I think we should go on another date before you decide to brush me off."

After about five minutes of persuasion, his persistence paid off. I melted and agreed to another date. He smiled and finally stopped talking and we sat for over an hour just holding hands and saying nothing at all. As first dates went, I thought it was strangely beautiful.

I should have kissed you

I should have pushed you up against the wall

I should have kissed you

Just like I wasn’t scared at all

Gloriana

Chapter Six

Hey beautiful…how’s my girl today?

As texts went it, was pretty remarkable. It was also how Chad had been interacting with me since the night of Shame’s bonfire. We would text or call, but either way it tended to be an all day thing. I morphed into a total girl every time my phone would chime a new message, or in the event of a phone call with the ringtone ‘
Animals’
by
Nickleback
would play.

Not the ideal song, but after hearing Chad’s sultry, rough voice sing it, it was all I heard now. This message however caused an entirely new slew of girl mush because he had said ‘my girl’ and I had no idea what to do with it.

Your girl?

I replied because A) I was either a sadist and he was about to tell me it was a slip or B) I wanted more.

Almost immediately I received a reply.

That’s how I see you these days.
It ok?

I held my phone, gripping it as if the message would somehow turn to vapor. Was it ok he asked? It was more than ok, but not wanting to sound too eager and even more
girltastic
I replied with a question of my own.

If I say yes will that make you my man?

I was in the process of chewing my thumbnail to the quick when he replied.