Trusting Jake (Blueprint To Love Book 1) (11 page)

Jen's heart dropped to the floor when she caught the reverent look her daughter bestowed on him. Stunned, her hand fluttered to her chest as she watched them together. He'd cast some sort of magic spell over her children. Until tonight, she hadn't realized how much Alex and Megan craved male attention. Her thoughts flew to the previous night, when the kids had monopolized her brother, clamoring for his attention. She'd assumed it was because they hadn't seen their uncle for so long.

Her memory flashed back to the day at the hospital. Alex had been absolutely thrilled to have her boss all to himself that night. Even the very first night Jake arrived on their doorstep . . . it had been Alex who asked him to stay for dinner. Why hadn't she noticed it before?

It hurt to watch the hero worship in their eyes when they talked with her boss. Taking a deep breath, Jen headed into the kitchen as a shiver of fear coursed through her. Her hands shook when she set the plates on the counter. For the first time, she was seeing a piece of her family puzzle she'd never known was missing. What was Jake doing to them?

She couldn't afford to be caught in his charismatic net. Not when she'd worked so hard to rebuild their life. Not when they'd come so far. Just because there were moments when he made her knees go weak. Just because she knew him to be compassionate and kind under the gruff exterior. . .

Twisting the faucet, she rinsed plates. Just because she was attracted to her boss, didn't mean she could act on it. Being attracted to someone was easy. It was the rest of it that was so damn hard. And Jen knew with certainty she couldn't last through a relationship with Jake and survive to talk about it. Not only would she lose her job in the process, she was pretty sure she'd lose her heart as well.

Swallowing around the lump in her throat, she scrubbed at the goose bumps suddenly raising on her arms. Hell, she was already halfway there.

No!
The denial was immediate. Shocked by the mere suggestion, she plunged her hands back into the soapy water. It simply wasn't possible. She could never love someone like Jake. She didn't want to love any man ever again.

"You're delusional." She dismissed the notion. Sure, she liked Jake. What wasn't to like? They made a great team. But that was all. Methodically, she stacked the pans in the dishwasher. Her life was finally stable again after such a long period of uncertainty.

Why on earth would she risk it over the wrong man? Jake was a loner, wrapped up in his work, with no interest in a ready-made family. Sure, he'd gone out of his way to be kind to her kids. But a man playing dad once a month wasn't what she had in mind. She wanted . . . okay, so maybe she
did
want love. Eventually. Maybe. But Jake wanted an efficient assistant, someone who made his work life easier.   

It would be easy enough to create some needed distance. Regain the balance. It wasn't as though she'd crossed a line. And the enormous fact that he was her employer would guarantee she remained sensible.

Jake didn't seem to be having any problems. In fact, he didn't seem interested at all. Heck, in his eyes she was married. And Jen knew him well enough to know he would never cross that line. Even if he
had
been interested– which he wasn't– she would always be off-limits to him.

But, what about her kids? Her brain whispered the concern. How could she deny them  something they needed? Something they had every right to want? It was now startlingly clear how much they wanted a father.

Six months earlier, she'd been desperate for a fresh start. Leaving Baltimore, she hadn't looked back, never contemplating anything beyond the immediate future. Keeping Rick alive had been good cover.

Now, she wasn't sure. Jen recognized her lie might end up costing her children the one thing they wanted most. The one thing she continued to deny them because she'd sacrificed the future for a short-term gain. Had she recklessly given up their chance for a flesh and blood father?

Even as she acknowledged the possibility, she knew there could be no turning back. Not at this point. Not without more lies. She was staggered by the realization of what she had accomplished. The only dad her kids would ever know was in name only.

Chapter 8

"Jen? Is everything okay?" She'd nearly bolted from the dining room. Jake cautiously entered the kitchen. "I hope you're not mad about the business card thing. Honestly, I was just messing around, and then Alex was so impressed with the idea." His smile was sheepish as he searched for a spot on the counter to set the glasses he carried. "I didn't want to wreck the fun."

"No– of course not. I was just surprised, that's all." 

Except Jenna looked upset. When she turned to face him, something in her expression told him everything was
not
all right. She had trouble meeting his gaze when she brushed past him to collect the dishes from the dining room. "Seriously, Jen, if I've overstepped my bounds, please say so. The last thing I wanted was to upset you. I'm not very good at this kid thing."

That seemed to stop her cold. A strange, almost vulnerable expression crossed her face. Now, what had he done? Hesitating in the doorway, he was unsure what to say, and painfully aware of the odds he'd make matters worse.
Don't cry. Please.
Jeez– give him a ranting subcontractor threatening murder any day of the week. But, tears? Talk about something guaranteed to render him useless.

"You–you're great at it. It just made me realize how much they miss-" 

Holding his breath, Jake waited, watching her struggle with herself. With her need to confess what bothered her. Watched her battle with the decision– whether she trusted him enough to blurt out the rest.

She began stacking the plates. "I just hope Alex hasn't been bothering you, that's all."

The fleeting glimmer of pain he'd witnessed in her eyes cleared. Her expression went carefully neutral. Apparently, he'd failed the test. She passed him again, heading for the kitchen. "As soon as I get this cleared away, we can get started on the Baltimore deal."    

***

"That'll work fine." Throwing down his pencil, Jake leaned back to stretch in the dining room chair. "I think that's everything. I'm beginning to wonder about this one. We haven't even started this job and Willoughby's already changing his mind."

"Hang on." She scanned through the pages of notes, making sure the numerous changes they'd discussed made sense before she began the laborious process of writing change orders to the subcontractors who would perform the work. Stifling a yawn, she finally raised her head. "Just wanted to make sure I could read my writing."

Methodically stacking the folders into neat piles, she glanced up, suddenly realizing it was terribly quiet. "Good Lord. What time is it?"

Jake flicked a glance at his watch and brought his chair down with a thump. "Wow. It's after ten."

Startled, she brought a hand to her mouth. "The kids. They should've been in bed hours ago." She remembered telling them to get ready for bed. But– had they actually gone upstairs? Dropping her pad on top of the pile, she made a beeline into the living room, unsure what to expect. Stopping short in the doorway, she nearly caused a collision with her boss who was right on her heels. Her eyes softened at the sight of her children cuddled up on the couch, both of them sleeping soundly. The Christmas lights blinked soothingly in the windows. With a sigh, she drifted over to the couch.

"No matter how much they argue during the day . . . they look like angels when they're sleeping," she whispered.

"Why don't I help you get them upstairs before I leave?"

Jake's husky voice near her ear sent a sensual jolt of awareness crawling through her. A sharp wave of longing washed over her as she imagined that voice in a different setting. She had a sudden image of her darkened bedroom . . . of those strong arms wrapped around her while the kids slept peacefully down the hall.

Her face suffused with heat when she snapped back to reality. Not sure what her voice would sound like if she spoke, she took the easy way out, nodding for him to follow her lead. Gently scooping up Megan, she waited while he hoisted Alex. Hugging her daughter close, she crept up the stairs and through the darkened hallway to her bedroom.

Tugging on the comforter, Jenna pulled back the sheet before settling Megan under the covers. Glancing up, she discovered Jake silhouetted in the doorway, still holding Alex on his shoulder.

"Where's his room?"

"Two doors down, next to mine." Biting her lip, she turned back to her daughter. "I'll be right in to help you," she called softly after him. Tucking the blankets around Meg's shoulders, her daughter sighed contentedly and rolled over, her breathing deep and even. Jenna paused to switch on the nightlight before gently closing the door.

She found Jake trying to balance her son on one shoulder while he jerked back the blankets. She smothered a laugh at his stifled curse when he found a pile of race cars scattered over the sheets. "Perhaps I could help you?"

"He doesn't sleep with all those, does he?"

"He'd like to, but I make him stack them on the floor. Then, in the morning he wakes up and drags them up into bed." Jen swept the mountain of cars off the bed, clearing a spot for Alex. "You can set him down now." 

Crouching close to the bed, Jake gently deposited her son between the sheets. Before she could step forward to help, he straightened the blankets and tugged them up over Alex' shoulders.

"Sleep tight, Sport."

Still smiling when she knelt near the bed, she scooped up cars that had scattered across the rug. It was pretty obvious her boss had developed a soft spot for her son. She nearly froze with shock a moment later when Jake dropped to his knees to help.

"I think you missed one," he whispered, "over there . . . near the bureau."

His smile was a flash of white in the darkness. And that sexy voice . . . If Jen hadn't already been on her knees, she was certain her muscles would have atrophied and she would have sagged to the floor. Her heart thudded in response. Damn, what was he doing to her? Knowing instinctively she would be unable to meet that laser-beam gaze, Jen averted her eyes. "I-I've got it. Thanks."

Snatching up the car, she rose quickly to her feet and felt Jake's hand at her elbow, steadying her as she regained her balance. Grateful for the darkness, she nearly panicked at the unexpected swamp of emotion she experienced.

It was simply too much. Just a few hours earlier she'd been forced to admit her growing attraction to her boss. Only tonight she'd realized her children were desperate for a father. And if Jake didn't remove his hand from her elbow soon, she was either going to burst into tears or throw herself into his arms.                 

"Are you all right? You're trembling."

"I-I'm fine." The room felt as though it were closing in around her. Surely Jake could sense it too . . . as though the air had suddenly been charged with electricity. Her arm tingled where his hand still remained, setting her nerves jangling. Reluctant to meet his gaze, she was terrified what she might find. Terrified Jake might read her confusion as something completely different. Like need. Like bone-melting desire.  

"I. . . I– we'd b-better go down-"

"Jen-" 

Her overwrought nerves exploded when he said her name. A single syllable and her central nervous system incinerated. The hoarse longing she heard in Jake's voice had her heart thudding with terror when she glanced up at him. She would never be certain whether she moved forward or took a step back from the naked desire she discovered in his eyes. They came together in a sudden, fierce embrace that left her in no doubt of the mutual attraction. Jake's mouth was frantic when it found hers, and the mere hint of his lips against hers had her sagging against him. She had no fear of falling though, because his arms wrapped around her, so powerful that she could barely breathe.

The sharp urgency of her need for him rocked Jen to her core. Sliding her arms up, she locked them around his neck, taking the opportunity to tug her fingers through the soft strands of hair that had driven her crazy with curiosity. The sensation of his strong, muscular body thrust against hers made her dizzy. How could she want a man like this? After years with a bad one and more years without one . . . Jake was all she could think about. His mouth slid over hers, nibbling, biting, caressing as it fed the heat stoking inside her. She would soon reach inferno level. When his tongue nudged against her lips, she moaned over the sheer wonder of it. Jake inside of her.
Please God, don't stop
.

Unable to stop trembling, she absorbed Jake's hands skimming lower as they roamed her back. Finally, his hands cupped her rear-end, tugging her possessively closer to the hardened length of him. How long? Since she'd felt so blatantly desired? How long since she'd wanted someone with the desperation she approached now? Jen couldn't remember feeling like this. Ever.

Her stomach knotting with jagged hunger, she tugged on his shirt buttons, her hands taking over when her mind rebelled. She had to touch him,
needed
to run her hands over the hot, hard muscles under his skin.

"Jake– I need to touch you. I want-" It was all she could manage to verbalize before her fingers finally discovered warm skin. Rational thought gave way to pure sensation. Sliding trembling hands inside his shirt, Jenna sighed over the hot, silken texture of his skin, thrilling when his tightly coiled muscles tensed under her fingertips. Jake's raspy breaths made her want to claw the shirt from his back.

Burrowing her face against his chest, she shuddered at the luxurious heat she found there. "I want– you." Shocked by the admission, Jen didn't recognize the husky voice as her own. Unable to stop herself, she rained kisses on his chest, making herself drunk on the scent of his heated skin. Nearly wild with need, she pulled his head down for a hot, lingering kiss.

Never before had she felt so out-of-control. Never before had Jen cared less about the consequences. She thrilled to his touch, to the groan he uttered when he tugged the pins from her hair, exulting when his lips sought the sensitive skin of her throat. Not even Rick had ever made her feel like this. As though she would absolutely shatter if he stopped kissing her.

"God, Jen– let me touch you. Your hair . . . it's driven me mad. All these months. I've wanted you from the minute I saw you."

Burying his hands in the tangle of her hair, Jake pulled her close again. When his lips discovered the fluttering pulse in her throat, he gently tugged at it, his mouth and tongue sending arcs of electricity scorching through her body. "Please. . . Jake. My room-" She had to have him. Her heart throbbing with certainty, Jen moaned at the thought of him sharing her bed, his strong, sinewy body over her, around her. His powerful heat inside her. It had to be tonight. It had to be soon, or she would self-combust. Hell, she was ready to explode now.

"Mommy? Are you there?"

They jumped apart, Alex's sleep-drugged voice jarring them as effectively as a bucket of ice water. Jake recovered first, fumbling while he turned away from the bed to quickly re-button his shirt. Jen moved like a robot, still too shocked to form a coherent thought. Her nerves sizzled with the rage of unspent passion, her body still throbbing painfully from the withdrawal of his touch.

Finally finding her voice, she spoke soothingly, masking the raw edge of her need with soft words for her son. Jake took the opportunity to silently edge into the hallway as Alex drifted back to sleep. She stayed with him a few extra minutes, waiting for the pulse of desire to bank down before she would risk leaving the safety of her son's room.    

Panic slammed through her when she closed his door, finally turning to face Jake. Dear Lord, what would she say? What would he do? She found him leaning against the wall in the upstairs hallway, his stance decidedly casual. The grim set of his jaw told a different story, one of barely contained fury. Shivering as she stared at him, she was unable to decide whether his anger was directed at her or himself. Reluctantly, she walked the few steps it took to close the physical distance between them. The emotional distance, she realized had become a yawning divide. His warm, hazel eyes had gone cold, even more noticeably so after the molten heat she had received from them just minutes earlier.    

"I have to go. I never should have stayed so late."

"Jake. . . I-I don't know what to s-say." If she looked half as mortified as she felt, then she had to be blushing to the roots of her hair. Not that it mattered. Unable to face her, he was already heading down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Moving through the kitchen as though the demons of hell nipped at his heels, he hesitated only a moment to pick up his briefcase. He snatched his coat up from the rocking chair as he strode through the foyer. Jerking the door open, he practically ran down the steps.

"S-shouldn't we talk about this?" Jen stood resolutely in the door, her stomach sick with fear and shame as she wrapped her arms around her waist against the cold, winter night. What did he think of her? "Please, Jake– let me explain. It's not . . . what you think. Rick isn't- He and I aren't-"

"No." Jake cut her off. "It's not my business. I don't– I don't want to know. This didn't happen," he ground out fiercely. "It was a terrible mistake . . . one that never should've happened. I swear to you it will never happen again." 

"But-"

"Forget it, Jen. We have to forget it." Turning on his heel, he stalked to his truck.

"That's what I plan to do."