Trusting Stone (9 page)

He moved to hold her hands. “Eden, I’m so sorry.” He whispered to her, obviously not wanting to scare her. “Eden, you said just in time. Just in time for what?”

“They didn’t actually rape me. They did other things, but Joachim managed to get me out of there just in time.”

“It doesn’t matter. Look at me.” She had closed her eyes again when he had asked what she meant. That was one of the most painful parts, people not understanding why she was so upset if they hadn’t actually raped her. “What they did to you was bad enough. The details don’t matter, Eden. What matters is they hurt you. But you survived, you’re here.”

           
She looked at him and his beautiful face was almost more than she could handle. “Stop, Sebastian. I’m not done, it gets worse. You say I survived, but I didn’t really.” Eden could feel the tears now gathering in her eyes. “I couldn’t take it, the shame and the fact that people didn’t believe me. I tried to kill myself a few weeks later. I had to leave school. I had a complete breakdown and had to drop out. After a long time, I got myself back on my feet, sort of. I couldn’t return to St. Leonard’s. They were still there. So I applied to the international program and left for Edinburgh. But I never really recovered. I still talk to my therapist, Dr. Shepherd. He’s says I’m doing well, really well, but…I know I’m weak. I’m damaged, you just can’t see it yet.” She couldn’t keep it in and she broke down, a sob rising out of her chest. “I’m damaged goods.” She forced herself to stand up, pushing Sebastian’s hands off her lap. “Don’t follow me,” she choked out, hoping he remembered her final caveat. She couldn’t handle Sebastian seeing her break down completely.

She turned and walked across the park. She made it to her building, nodding at Sebastian’s driver who was waiting in front of the car. He looked confused to see her without Sebastian and she was relieved to see Rick opening the door for her, politely greeting her. He, too, looked startled to see her back so soon and he made as if to say something, obviously concerned about her tear-stained face.

Eden quickly shook her head, hoping he understood. She waited for the elevator, feeling Rick’s eyes on her back. She barely knew the man, but she was strangely comforted by the fact that he seemed genuinely concerned for her. Dr. Shepherd would love it, she thought. Of all people for her to start trusting, her doorman was top of the list. The elevator doors
finally
opened and she stepped in, turning to see Sebastian rushing through the lobby. He ignored Rick’s attempts to intercept him as he lunged toward the elevator.

Chapter Ten

Eden stepped back further into the elevator, praying for the doors to close in time. He promised! What was he doing? His hand grabbed an edge of the door just as they started to close. Eden let out a small groan of disappointment. He was not going to let her be. He pushed them apart and stepped in, facing her.

“You promised me! We had a deal, you shook on it!” she whispered, furious with him. Sebastian remained silent, which made her see red, as he stepped forward, crowding her even further into the corner of the elevator. “You can’t do this to me, Sebastian. Do you understand? I told you. I told you this thing between us would be ruined and you wouldn’t listen to me!” She couldn’t control herself anymore. She pushed against his chest hard. “Why don’t you leave me alone? Can’t you see this is all wrong?” Why wouldn’t he speak to her? Eden gave up and leaned her forehead against his chest, half pushing and half pulling on his suit jacket. “Can’t you see I’m all wrong for you?” she whispered into his chest.

Finally, Sebastian spoke and he moved slowly, folding her up in his arms. Then he was kissing her face, kissing the tears off her cheeks, running his hands along her back.

“God, Eden, you’re so far from damaged goods,” he said between kisses. “I won’t have you thinking that. You’re the most amazing creature I’ve ever seen. You’re perfect.” He kept repeating it as he moved down her neck with his lips, his hands now in her hair, caressing her dark tresses, gently pulling her toward him even more with his grip. “Nothing’s ruined. You’re not ruined.” He spoke clearly now, having pulled away slightly so he could look her in the eyes. “Do you believe me, Eden? You’re not ruined.” He said it with such force, with such conviction that, in his hold, Eden
did
believe him.

She felt like a woman when she was with him, especially when he touched her. Under his fingertips, she was no longer the weak, broken girl that everyone else knew. Instead, she was a
woman
—strong, beautiful, and sensual.

“I do, with you,” she said, and she felt herself leaning forward to kiss him. Her tears had dried up just in the few moments where he had been holding her and she forgot about the conversation she had just had, the memories she’d had in her mind as she explained her past to him.

All she wanted was for him to keep touching her, to make her feel the way she had in her
apartment
, to make her forget it all and consume her with his body. She knew that Sebastian could feel her responding to him and it was clear by the way he pulled her body against his and pushed his erection against her stomach that he wanted her.

“Feel what you do to me, Eden. Feel how hard I am because of you,” Sebastian whispered as he ran his lips along her jaw line.

She nodded slightly, biting her lip in frustration. How could he make her this hot with just a few kisses?

“Eden, I’m going to make you come so hard, you’ll barely be able to remember your name—just let me do that for you, let me make you feel good”, he said, holding her hand and leading her out the elevator toward her door.

Eden fumbled with her keys as he stood behind her, nuzzling into her neck now, his hands moving down her back, running over the curves of her ass and hips. She’d never had a man speak
dirty
to her and she couldn’t believe how much it turned her on. She wanted to hear more, and there was no way Sebastian hadn’t noticed the impact his voice had on her. She could barely keep her trembling hands still enough to open the door. His arm reached around her
finally
and he helped steady her hand.

Eden squeezed his hand and her breath came quicker, unable to imagine what was about to happen, only knowing that she wanted to keep going. She could do this, she knew she could, because for the first time in her life, she wanted it to happen. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, pushing her heat against his cock,
reveling
in the throbbing hardness she could feel pushing through their clothes against her
sex
. He walked them to her bedroom, consuming her mouth with his.

Sebastian pushed her down onto her bed and ran his hands up her arms, cupping her face as he pushed his tongue into her mouth harder, his tongue exploring deeper, the force of it making her grab at his shoulders. His hands reached up, gently undid the small tie what was
keeping
the front of her dress up, and pulled it off her, revealing her bare breasts.

“No bra.” Sebastian growled as he looked down at her, breaking their embrace. He hissed through his teeth as he covered her breasts with his hands, gently squeezing them as his tongue licked her neck. “Jesus, Eden, I want to feel my cock in you more than anything, but I want to
savor
you, devour you. I want to taste your pussy, explore you with my fingers. I don’t know how slow I can be, though. Your skin…it does something to me.” Sebastian pushed his face into the curve of her neck, inhaling deeply.   

Eden forced herself to break away, letting go of his shoulders and pushing him off her as much as she could without making him think she was rejecting him. While she wanted to continue, she had to tell him one more thing. She writhed under his touch,
mesmerized
by his words.

“Wait, just wait,” she gasped, amazed at her own self-control. His hands had felt so perfect cupping her breasts, and his words alone had made her moan. He stopped moving and reached his hand into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. What was he doing? She looked at him, perplexed as to why he needed his wallet now.

“It’s okay, Eden, I’ve got a condom. As much as I’d like to feel you without one, I’m not that cavalier.”

“What? No, I’m on the pill, but that’s not…”

Now it was Sebastian’s turn to look confused. There was clearly a misunderstanding that neither of them could figure out.

“Remember how you asked if I had slept with Joachim and I said I hadn’t?’

He nodded, his face so close to hers, their noses were touching. “Yes, why?” he breathed out, reaching up to touch her, his thumb brushing her nipple as he nuzzled into her neck. He was clearly having trouble controlling his urge to touch her, and she couldn’t help but moan as she felt him push his hardened cock against her thigh.

“Because I need to tell you. I never slept with Joachim…or anyone else for that matter.” There, she had said it. She was still a virgin. At her 22, it made her feel like a leper, regardless of her past.

Sebastian pulled away from her with such force, she immediately regretted it. He paced backwards quickly, clearly desperate to get some distance between them. “Jesus Christ, Eden! You’re a virgin? Why didn’t you tell me?” he shouted, and she recoiled onto the bed, drawing her feet under her, pulling her dress back up to cover her breasts, and wrapping her arms around her.

“I did tell you, just now! Why are you yelling? After what I told you, what difference does this make?” The confusion in her voice was audible.

“Because this is about
you
. This is your choice! And
especially
in light of what you’ve told me...” Sebastian continued pacing the room now, waving his arms as he spoke. “You have no idea of your worth, how special you are, and you were just going to let this happen, just like that. God, the things I said to you—to a virgin…”

He stopped and Eden
finally
caught his eye. She was crying again, not sobbing like before, but tears were streaming down her face as she
realized
that it was
this
information that was going to ruin them, not what she had told him in the park.  

“Don’t cry, no, stop crying, Eden.” Sebastian returned to the bed and wrapped his arms around her. “I can’t stand to see you upset. I yelled, I know. It scared you.”

“You don’t want me anymore, I’m sorry. I just had to tell you.” Eden leaned into him. He was so warm and, although she knew he wouldn’t touch her again in the way she wanted, she could at least enjoy this moment. She felt him chuckle, his whole torso moving with laughter.

“Eden, you couldn’t be more wrong. I want you. I wanted you the moment I saw you get out of that ridiculous limo in Edinburgh. I wasn’t scheduled to come to New York for another week, but I couldn’t wait to see you. Once I found out where you were, I couldn’t wait a whole week.” Sebastian tipped her head up and gently kissed her mouth, sending small tingles down her body as his tongue softly flickered into her mouth. “But today’s been eventful and in light of what you just told me, I want to do this properly. We’ll do Sunday dinner. Let me wine and dine you. And no running out on me this time. So far I’ve tried to have two meals with you and you’ve walked out on both. That’s the last time you’ll do that.”

Eden nodded in response. There was something about Sebastian that made her willing to give up everything, her virginity being the first thing.

“One last thing. As I’ll be your first, I want to make it as special as possible. And that means I don’t want anything between us. I always use condoms and get tested regularly. The last time was three weeks ago and I haven’t been with anyone since. I’ll have a copy of the results emailed to you. You said you were on the pill? Why? In light of your virginity, why the birth control?”

“I started taking it when I was fifteen and started dating. My mom was convinced I’d mess up and get pregnant. And it actually helped with migraines I used to get, so I’ve always stayed on it, even though I haven’t needed it.”

“That’s great, Eden, really.”

She was surprised at how thrilled Sebastian looked at the news, but then again, she’d heard that condoms did really change how things felt. She continued, feeling like she needed to be as responsible about the whole thing as Sebastian was being. “And in terms of other stuff…well, even though there was hardly any risk of my
catching
anything, I made sure I was thoroughly tested after my attack and I haven’t let anyone come near me since then, so I know I’m clean. I’m happy to get retested, though, if you want to be sure.”

“No, Eden, I believe you.” He trusted her. Did he know how much that meant to her? What she had told him today had been all about her being able to trust him, but Eden knew what it felt like not to be trusted, to be treated suspiciously, and she liked it that Sebastian seemed to have no doubts about her. In fact, she loved it.