Tug (9 page)

“It’s fine. Returning traffic can be backed up for hours. You have a wedding to attend. Thank you for the ride and the talk.”

I walk away from her car and don’t look back. I want to forget last night and today ever happened.

I want to forget I ever met Tug Hunter.

T
oday my brother is marrying my best friend, and I’m sitting in the hotel bar, licking my wounds and drowning my anger with alcohol. Next to sex, booze is the best escape from reality. What in the hell was I thinking? I actually like Maria, and I’ve ruined any chance I had with her. My relationship with Tori and my brother is unrepairable, and my sister may never speak to me again. I glance up at the sky and say, “Thanks, Ma! Could you have fucked me up any more?”

“Cussing her out won’t help.”

Brady’s voice fills my ears as he enters the bar. I toss back another shot and shrug. He takes the stool next to me and clasps a hand on my shoulder.

“Hey, enough booze. My best man can’t be drunk for my wedding.”

“Didn’t you hear? I’m banned from your wedding,” I say, and toss back another shot.

He pushes the glass away from me and hands the bartender the bottle.

“Yeah, I heard.” I turn my head toward him, and he laughs. “You’re a dick. Let’s call it even and move on.”

“You’re not pissed?” I ask, swaying slightly in the seat.

“Oh, I’m pissed, really pissed,” he says, even though he smiles, “but I’m done fighting with you, little brother. I want peace.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

He shifts, straddling the stool so he’s facing me. “You were thinking you’d try one last-ditch effort to get Tori back.”

I realize I had more vested in today than getting Tori back, and I feel like a heel for it. “I don’t think that’s it. I wanted to get back at her, make her feel my pain, make her suffer a little for not choosing me.”

His head cocks to the side. “That’s so wrong, but I get it.”

I close my eyes and rub them. It makes me dizzy, so I stop and open them to a sea of blurred liquor bottles in front of me. They eventually come into focus and I say, “It isn’t half as bad as what I did to Maria.”

“You’re right about that.” Brady’s dry humor makes me smile.

“I suck.”

Brady nods without disputing my verbal self-bashing. “Maria’s a nice girl, and she’s had it rough.”

“What do you know?”

“I’m not telling. It’s her story, but you’re the last thing she needs in her life.”

“And you’re right about that.” I get up from the stool and toss some cash on the bar. “I’m sorry I tried to ruin your wedding.”

He laughs. “I figured it was coming.”

“You’re doing wonders for my confidence today, bro.”

Brady stands and throws his arm around neck. “I want my family together, you included. I don’t want Mom to win.”

“I hear ya. I’ll try harder.”

“Good, because when I’m on the road, Drew is going to need a man around.”

My stomach sinks, but my heart swells.

“You can count on me for that.”

T
he tuxes Tori picked out are awful, but they’re aren’t nearly as atrocious as the matching bubblegum-pink bow tie and cummerbund. If I had to guess, the color choice is a result of a battle Tori refused to fight with my sister.

I anxiously knock on the dressing room door. Tori opens it. I expect her to deliver a hard and well-deserved slap. Instead, she smiles and opens the door.

“Hey,” she says shyly, her eyes smiling.

“Hey.”

“What you did was cruel.”

I frown and step inside the room. “I know. I’m sorry. I wanted to hurt you.”

“I know you did. I probably deserve it, but I wasn’t talking about what you did to me. That girl likes you, and I’m certain she thought you liked her, too.”

I blow out a long breath. “I do like her.”

“I’ve never known you to be cruel, especially to those you like and care about.”

“I wasn’t thinking about her.”

Tori sits on the small couch against the wall. I plop down next to her with my elbows on my knees, my hands knotted together as I try to think of a way to explain to this girl how sorry I am I tried to ruin her wedding day.

While I struggle with finding the right words, Tori begins. “I never wanted to hurt you, Tug,” she says, her voice so full of sincerity, I believe her. “I love you. I always have, but it’s never been that kind of love. I won’t say what happened between us was a mistake, but it never should have happened.”

“Let’s not pretend anymore. It was a mistake. I think it’s time we both admitted it.”

“You’re my best friend, and I would give anything to see you happy.”

I turn my head to look at her. “And you think Maria can make me happy?”

“I don’t any have idea, but if you treat everyone around you poorly, you’ll never find out.”

Maybe it’s the alcohol, but I suddenly can’t keep from smiling. “So, I’m still your best friend?”

“Forever and evers.” She holds up her pinky, and I hook mine around it.

“Pinky swear,” we both say.

“Any chance you’ll reconsider and marry me?” I can’t help but ask the question, since it feels like we’re on our way to being friends again. It’s a game we’ve played since we were kids. I ask her out, and she responds with some smart-mouthed reason she’d rather not.

“I’d rather drive a safety pin through my boob than marry you. But there is no one I would rather have for a brother.”

I wrap her up in a tight hug. Her tears wet my cheeks, and I realize how much I’ve missed her. The door opens, and Liv enters the room with Tori’s mother. I release Tori and smile at Mrs. Preston.

“Tuggy,” she yells, and runs over to me. I stand and hug her. Over her shoulder, my sister gives me a dirty look. I wink at her, and she flips me the bird before turning away, grumbling.

Once I let go of Mrs. Preston, I go to my sister and drape my arm around her shoulder. Tori and her mom go through a door to another room.

“I’m not speaking to you,” Liv says firmly, but fails to hide her smile.

“Yes, you are. You love me.”

She elbows me, and I kiss her head. “Are you done being an ass?”

I hold up two fingers. “Scouts’ honor.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’d believe it, if you were ever a Boy Scout.”

“Seriously, I won’t cause any trouble. I’m finally going to let her go.”

“I’m glad to hear that. This messed-up, broken family is all we have.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I love you, Livvy.”

I yank her in for a long hug. Through all of this, I’ve missed my sister, too. She pulls out of my embrace and wipes under her eyes. “Now get out of here. Thanks to you, I have to redo my makeup.”

B
rady and Jesse stand at the altar. Cyclists and rollerbladers zoom by behind them along the path between the lawn and the beach. Sails from a row of boats add color to the pale blue backdrop. Most of the guests have already visited the beachside bar. They’re double-fisted and in party mode. Fitting for a rock-star wedding where the majority of guests are twenty-somethings.

I greet people, many of whom I don’t know, as I make my way to the altar. I shake hands with Gabe and say hello to his little boy, Lance. Brady smiles, and everyone turns toward the hotel. When I spin around, I see Tori standing outside the back of the hotel, and I can’t breathe. She’s absolutely glowing in white, her beautiful face hidden behind the sheer veil. The modest dress is sleeveless and low in the front, but classy. It hugs all the right places, the parts of her body I’ve seen naked and will never touch again. She’s not marching down the aisle into my arms and promising me her undying love. I breathe in and it’s painful.

Her father takes his place at her side and my sister and Chad’s girlfriend, Jessica line up in front of her. I frown as I stand next to my brother with Jesse. The Wedding March begins, and as Tori gets closer, I realize their happiness doesn’t have to be my misery. But am I so fucked up that I want it to be?

As Brady and Tori exchange vows and profess to love each other until death, I listen intently. They were always meant to be together. I interfered and tried to meddle in their relationship in the hope that Tori would choose me. That was my biggest mistake, the decision that steered me off course. One doesn’t have the option of choosing who they fall in love with. The heart decides with a perseverance greater than human strength. The only problem with that is both my and Brady’s hearts chose the same girl, and mine is left with a gaping hole.

After the ceremony, the guests are ushered upstairs to a reception hall, while the wedding party is held up on the beach for photographs. It hurts a little that our family photographs consist of only Tori’s parents. It isn’t the adulthood I imagined for myself. Of course, when I imagined Tori’s wedding, I was the groom, not the best man. Life never stays on an expected course. It’s the detours that define our character, which is why I’m such a dick. I have a long way back to the metaphorical fork in the road if I want to choose another path. The one I’m on is the fast track to ending up like a lonely old man, yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

Throughout the reception, a girl we all went to high school with keeps hitting on me. I’ve dodged her most of the afternoon, as the press is all over the hotel. The more I drink, the harder it is to avoid her advances. When I reach a point where I no longer give a shit about the press and my dick wants to be in control, I haul her onto the dance floor. I smack her ass several times and then grip it tight, but when I stare into her eyes, I see another set of eyes looking back at me, and I release her. I leave her on the dance floor, mumbling obscenities at me, and return to my seat. She has my mother’s eyes, and they pierced through me like a warning.

I hear my mother’s voice in my head as clearly as if she were in front of me. “Impressions, Aidan, are very important.” “How people perceive you will get you far in life.” “Aidan, you must please the public if you want to be successful.” My buzz is gone, as is my libido. My dead mother is going to haunt me to the grave.

At some point, I’m handed a microphone and told I’m supposed to say a toast. I hadn’t planned a speech, but I stand up and glance around the room at hundreds of watchful eyes. They’re waiting for me to express my happiness at the couple’s marriage. How can I do that when I don’t feel anything more than acceptance for their love?