Turning the Page (13 page)

“Malcolm, it’s only nine in the morning. I called an hour ago to see if you wanted to get breakfast before we left, and you didn’t answer. I got a little worried and called again. When you didn’t answer the second time, I thought something was wrong and headed over.”

“I’m fine. Just sleeping in a little longer than usual.” He wasn’t sure if he should be angry that Hans was concerned that he was so old he’d keel over or pleased with his concern. He decided to go with the latter because he didn’t need any reminders of getting older. “There’s coffee if you want it.” He always set the pot to start in the morning.

“Take your time,” Hans said, and Malcolm climbed the stairs and set out warm clothes before starting the shower in the master bathroom. He loved this room with its huge shower, natural tiled walls, and under-floor heating. It was the perfect bathroom. Malcolm stepped under the water, washing quickly and then rinsing off before turning off the water. He didn’t look at himself in the mirror as he finished up. There was no need. He knew what he looked like, and he didn’t need to see the silver around his temples or the gray on his chest.

When he stepped out of the room in a towel, he found Hans sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at him. The heat in that gaze was enough for Malcolm to forget all those thoughts about getting older. And when Hans smiled and leered at him, Malcolm nearly looked around to find out who else was in the room. Hans was looking at him. Why, Malcolm had no idea, but he was, and there was nothing sexier than being the object of someone else’s undivided attention. Hans didn’t move other than to sip from his mug, but Malcolm felt his gaze on him every second. Malcolm dropped the towel and began to get dressed. He was excited beyond belief and wondered if he could entice Hans into bed. Hell, maybe they wouldn’t actually have to go anywhere.

He put on his pants and shirt before pulling on a sweater, then turned to look at Hans. He had thought ahead far enough to pack his bag. “I just need to get my kit.” He went into the bathroom. “You don’t have to stick close—I’m not going to make a run for it or something.” He got what he needed, then returned to the bedroom.

Hans sat in his same place. “I like watching you.”

“Why?” Malcolm put his kit in his bag and then looked down at himself. “It’s not as though I’m statueworthy or something.”

“That’s a strange thing to say. Where is that coming from?”

Malcolm sighed a little. “It’s how David and I met the very first time. We didn’t date or go out then, but it was the mideighties, and I was desperately trying to get through law school and needed money. I met David when he and I were in the same art class.”

“You took art?”

“No. David was exploring his interests at the time, and he’d signed up for a drawing class. And I was the live model. I remember walking into that class and taking off my shirt.”

“Did you get naked?”

“Not right away, but as the class progressed, I did.” Malcolm smiled and went to the dresser, then pulled open the bottom drawer. He took out a framed picture and handed it to Hans. “This is one of the drawings David did of me.” It was only a torso, and Malcolm knew it wasn’t particularly adept. That class had apparently ended David’s thoughts of being an artist.

“Did you date him?”

“Oh, God no. I was just the model in the class, and while I noticed David because he was handsome, I never approached him, and once I posed nude, I found it best to keep some distance from the students. It made things easier. I met David again almost a decade later, and after we went out, he gave me that, and we shared a huge laugh. He told me that he’d always remembered me.” Malcolm sat on the edge of the bed, holding the drawing to him as he fell into a sea of memories and found himself smiling. “He would try just about anything. Apparently at one point he was interested in sculpture. Thankfully, none of those efforts survived. There are pictures of animals that look like they have three heads and six legs. He said they were supposed to be representational. I told him I thought that had proved that he’d tried LSD, and he smacked me on the shoulder and stuck his tongue out. To this day, I don’t know if I was right or not. There were few things in his life that David didn’t talk about, and that was one.”

“You think he did?” Hans asked.

“I don’t know. Something changed him between the time we first met and when we got together again. He was more serious and…. It’s hard to say. When we reconnected, he was a social worker and I was a hotshot young attorney ready to take on the world.” Malcolm stood up and put the drawing away. “Why don’t we get going?” He needed to stop this trip down memory lane or he’d talk forever, and that wasn’t something he needed to do to Hans.

“All right.” Hans grabbed Malcolm’s bag and kit and left the room, heading down the stairs. “You’re going to need good gloves, heavy insulated ones. I don’t suppose you have snow pants or something like that.”

“I’ll have to see.” David had been an outdoorsy guy, so maybe he’d had something. Malcolm had given away most of David’s things, but after he’d gone through everything, he’d found a large hanging bag of winter gear in the basement, and he’d left it there.

Malcolm got going. He found his gloves, then went into the basement and unzipped the hanging bag in the storeroom. There were a couple of David’s coats and a full-body snowsuit. Malcolm wondered how old it was and then toed off his shoes. He heard footsteps on the stairs as he pulled on the suit. It was a little snug around the middle, but it fit okay.

“How old is that?”

“I don’t know. I remember David wearing it years ago, but I haven’t seen it again in a while. I’m surprised he still had it. The legs and arms are long enough, so it seems to fit.” He turned around, and Hans looked him over. Then he unzipped it and stepped out before pulling on his shoes.

“That should be good,” Hans said as Malcolm motioned toward the stairs.

“Is there anything else? I’m assuming the boots will be rented with the skis, and I have a hat.”

“I brought an extra pair of ski goggles for you. Some guys just wear sunglasses, but goggles are really best. There can be a lot of snow and things that get thrown up, and you don’t want any of it in your eyes.” Hans left to make a trip to his car, and Malcolm checked through the house, locking up the doors and turning out the lights. Then he joined Hans in his green Toyota Camry, which seemed stuffed to the gills, and they started out.

“How did you and David reconnect?” Hans asked as they approached the highway toward downtown. From the brochure Hans handed him, they were headed to Devil’s Snow Mountain, north of Madison.

“David worked for a private nonprofit organization that helped families who were falling through the government cracks. They were being sued, and they needed an attorney. The firm I worked for at the time had been asked to help them on a pro bono basis, and I was assigned. David wasn’t my contact, but as I was doing the work, I stopped by one afternoon to ask some questions, and I saw David with a group of kids. He was surrounded by them, and each one was clamoring for his attention. I watched him as he worked with them. When he saw me, he smiled, and then he recognized me and waved. My heart did this somersault, and that was it. I knew I wanted to get to know him better.”

“Did you win the case?”

“Yes. At the time the plaintiffs were accusing the organization of not doing enough to help them. It was really a stupid argument, and they had no chance of succeeding. The organization was private and not under any obligation to help anyone. The woman had been evicted and was blaming them. I got the case thrown out easily, and once I was done, I asked David if he’d go out with me. On our second date he gave me the drawing I showed you. He said he’d always remembered me and wished he’d been smart enough back then to ask me out.”

Hans made the transition west, and they zoomed out of town. It was freeing in a way to be away from home and going to a place he’d never visited before.

“Sometimes the memories seem like a huge weight pressing down on me,” Malcolm said.

“How so?” Hans asked.

“Well, it’s like I’m supposed to remember everything so I don’t forget David. But each day something fades a little, though I keep working harder and harder to keep the memories focused and sharp. I don’t want to forget David, but the more I try, the more he slips through my fingers, so I try even harder. Then of course there are other times when I realize that David will always be with me and that I’m not going to forget the life we had.” He inhaled deeply and let it go. “Things will change and my life will be different, and that’s okay.” Malcolm sat back and stopped talking about David. He’d done that enough for one day. “How long have you been skiing?”

“I learned years ago. You know I grew up in Denmark, and Nordic sports were part of being a kid there. Winter lasts a long time, so we made the most of it. I cross-country skied, but that’s basic transportation. I tried ski jumping for a while, and that was a rush. I like to think I outgrew that. Now I ski downhill. I used to snowboard as well, but after an injury and a broken arm that meant I had trouble writing for over a month, I decided the thrill wasn’t worth the risk. You said you skied in college.”

“Yeah. I had friends who skied, and they took me with them a few times. I wasn’t very good and spent most of the time in the wedge, looking like a complete dork on the bunny hill. I managed to learn how to fall and did that a lot. But in the end I gave up and let the guys have their fun. It wasn’t worth slowing them down and keeping them off the larger hills, which was what they really wanted.” Malcolm shrugged and looked out at the snow-covered landscape.

“You’re going to have fun today. I promise. We’ll take the time to show you how to ski properly, and you’ll be having fun in no time.”

Malcolm nodded, but he wasn’t so sure about that. However, he wasn’t going to complain. Hans had gone through some trouble to arrange all this, and how long could they stay outside in the cold anyway?

THEIR ROOM
at the resort was ready for them, and they went right to it. Hans had reserved a deluxe suite, and it not only had a fireplace but a hot tub as well. Both of which had sexy possibilities.

“Why don’t you get changed, and we can go down, get our lift tickets, and rent you some equipment?”

Hans was already getting into his gear, so Malcolm did the same. He felt a little like the abominable snowman wearing all those layers, but Hans said he’d need it. They trudged out to the ski area and got Malcolm’s equipment and boots.

Hans looked amazing in a ski outfit that matched his skis. He helped Malcolm get his on and adjusted. Then he helped him glide out across the basin toward the rope lift to the top of the bunny hill.

From the bottom, it looked tall. “You’re going to be fine,” Hans said. “Don’t grab the rope all at once, or you’ll fall. Think of it like the clutch on a car and let it get you moving a little before you completely grab hold.”

“Okay.” Malcolm watched Hans, and then he gave it a try, thankful there weren’t too many people behind him. Of course he fell, and Hans came around to help him.

“Try it again.”

Hans held his poles, and Malcolm made sure his skis were straight and tried for the rope again. This time he managed to stay upright, and the rope pulled him up to the top. As soon as he let go, he wondered what to do and instantly fell one more time. Hans helped him up and got his poles for him.

“You made it, and that’s what counts.”

Malcolm wasn’t so sure, but he wasn’t going to give up either. “What do I do now?” Little kids zoomed around him, and Malcolm stifled a groan, but he swallowed the remark that rose to his lips.

“You remember the wedge? It’s a way of controlling your speed,” Hans said. “But you have little control and everyone falls on their butt. The other way is to just go down the hill, but if you go straight, you go too fast and can’t control it. The trick is to weave back and forth, and to do that you simply shift your weight a little. I’m going to show you. Don’t do it until I come back up. We’ll work together, okay?”

Malcolm nodded, and Hans went down the hill like it was nothing. Malcolm watched the way he moved and began mimicking him without going down. He watched as Hans slid over to the rope, and up he came as easily and gracefully as anything Malcolm had ever seen.

“Do you want to give it a try?” Hans asked.

“I’ll give it a shot.” He moved into position and stopped. How on earth was he supposed to do this?

“Just a second. Make sure your skis are straight and don’t cross the tips. Also look where you want to go. Your body will tend to take you there.”

Malcolm lifted his gaze toward the lodge and closed his eyes. Maybe if he wished hard enough he’d magically transport inside in front of a fire. When he opened them he was still outside and swore under his breath before starting down the hill. He turned to the right, and it worked. So he tried going left, went ass over teakettle, and ended up lying flat in the snow. His skis came off and continued happily down the hill. Hans schussed up to him and helped him up. Malcolm brushed himself off and managed to walk the rest of the way down the hill to retrieve his skis.

“That was good.”

“Huh?” he asked skeptically, as eight-year-olds called to their parents to watch them zoom by him. This was totally embarrassing.

“You turned. Let’s go back up and try again.” He led the way over to the rope, and Malcolm went back up. This time he managed to make it down the hill without falling, which he counted as a victory.

“Go on and catch the lift to the bigger runs,” Malcolm said. “I know that’s where you’d like to be. Let me stay here for a little while and see if I can figure this out.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Go and have fun.” Malcolm caught Hans’s eye and smiled. Hans was so excited, and Malcolm was determined not to make a complete fool of himself. When Hans slid away to the main lifts, Malcolm went up the rope pull. He did it again and again, slowly getting the hang of things. When Hans returned, he showed him what he’d figured out and how he could actually make it down the hill, turning back and forth.