Turning the Page (8 page)

At least that answered the earlier question. “Why wasn’t your girlfriend here with you tonight? Didn’t you ask her?”

“I’m here for a work thing, and they didn’t have extra tickets….”

“Did it ever occur to you that the reason she came with Gary was to make you jealous? She obviously wanted to come, so….”

He shrugged. “Well, I came over to apologize again.” He stood and walked away.

“You know, Mal,” a friend said from behind him, “I know a good personal injury lawyer if you need one.”

“Gee, thanks,” Malcolm quipped back with a smile, glad he could laugh about it. His arm still hurt, but he knew it was best to try to put it behind them so the incident didn’t cloud the evening.

It seemed Gary was nowhere to be found, and when Hans got Malcolm a glass of water and a double Scotch, Malcolm drank both and sat back.

“What are you thinking about?”

Malcolm groaned. “That like it or not, I just became the senior partner at Warren, Hanlan, and Webber. The partners are all going to want Gary’s head on Monday, and I won’t be able to stop it. We need a senior partner, and they all want me for the job.” He stood up. “Is it okay if we leave?”

“Whatever you want to do,” Hans said.

Malcolm handed Hans the coat check, and he went to get them.

“You all right?” a man asked.

Malcolm nodded.

“I’ve been meaning to come talk to you, but you always seemed occupied, and I didn’t want to interrupt. I’m Taylor Donovan. My company is having a problem, and I believe I need your help.”

Malcolm extended his good hand and then reached into his coat pocket. He pulled out a card. “Please call my office first thing on Monday, and I’ll be happy to talk to you. I know I have some time.” He smiled and met Taylor’s intense gaze. This was a man on a mission, and a man who was worried about something. That was clear enough.

“Thank you,” Taylor said with a half smile and then turned away, sliding the card into his pocket.

Hans returned, and Malcolm carefully put on his coat. Then, after saying good-bye to a few people, he and Hans left for the evening, making their way back out into the cold and across the bridge to the parking structure. “I should drive,” Hans said as they reached the car. “You just had a double scotch, and I haven’t had anything to drink in a while.”

Malcolm handed over his keys and directed Hans back to his house. He didn’t give much thought at that point to how Hans was going to get home. All he wanted was to get home himself, take something for the ache in his arm, and go to bed.

By the time they reached his house, the alcohol had kicked in fully. Malcolm was warm from the inside, and his head was a little swimmy. Maybe it was the drink or the endorphins from the pain. It could also be the gentle touch Hans had as he helped him inside and got him settled in a chair.

“I’m going to be fine.”

“I know that. But you can’t drive, and I don’t want to take your car.” Hans went into the kitchen, returned with a couple of glasses of water, and handed one to him. Then he sat on the sofa near him. “You’re an interesting man, Malcolm.”

“Why? I always thought I was boring.” He sipped some water and set the glass on a coaster on the side table.

“Then you’re wrong. You have a heart, and when it comes down to it, a spine of steel. You’re willing to try to help someone attain his dream, even if he isn’t able to keep it.”

“Gary?” Malcolm asked.

“He wanted to be senior partner, and you helped get him elected and gave him a chance. It isn’t your fault that he didn’t make the most of it. He should have valued the gift you gave him.”

“What gift?” Malcolm wasn’t sure what he meant.

“The chance. At some point in our lives, someone gives us a chance. Success is what we make of it. My first editor, Nicole, bought my first book, not because it was the greatest story ever written, but because she saw something in me. She published
Undersea Inferno
and then the next one, each getting better and better, selling more and more. She believed in me, and I made the most of her faith. You did the same thing for Gary, but he didn’t follow through, and that isn’t your fault. It’s his, and he’s the one who needs to own up to it when the time comes.”

Malcolm wasn’t sure Gary was capable of that. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that this whole thing was his fault for getting Gary’s hopes up. After all, he was the one who helped create this monster, and now he was going to have to deal with the fallout. Gary was certain to be removed by the other partners, and he could end up leaving the firm. Maybe that was for the best for all of them.

“Do you want me to take you home in a few hours?” Malcolm asked.

“That’s fine,” Hans said, and Malcolm got up and made his way to the kitchen. He took some painkillers he had in the cupboard. Then he found some snacks and brought them into the living room. When he returned, he took off his jacket and removed his tie before loosening his shirt. It felt good to be more comfortable. Hans did the same, and Malcolm found a movie to rent and sat on the sofa to be closer to the food.

“Thank God it’s the weekend.”

“I know exactly how you feel,” Hans said, and they both put their feet up as the movie started.

MALCOLM WASN’T
sure how much he actually watched, but he did wake up for the dramatic climax when Bruce Willis was about to take out the bad guy. Hans had fallen asleep as well and was leaning against him. Part of Malcolm told him he should move away, and the other half urged him to stay right where he was. Malcolm liked being close to someone, and Hans was nice. But he didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. Eventually Hans woke and straightened up slowly.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Malcolm said.

“Okay, I won’t.” Hans smiled and turned, leaning a little closer. “I know you aren’t ready, and I’m not going to push you, but I really like you, Malcolm.” He slowly moved his head closer. “You’re a wonderful guy, and I’ve been looking for someone like you for a very long time. I don’t have much luck with men, as my last relationship will attest, but I think my luck can change with you.”

“Hans, I…. It’s only been a year, and….”

“I know. So I’d really like to be friends.”

Malcolm could feel the energy coursing between them, and his better judgment told him that wasn’t the best idea. Not that he didn’t want to be friends with Hans, but he wasn’t sure it was possible to remain just friends. Already Malcolm was warm, and his heart beat a little faster just because Hans looked at him as though he was starving and Malcolm was a buffet lunch. Part of him wanted to give in and say to hell with it, but he knew it would end badly, and that wasn’t fair to him or to Hans. “I….” It was on the tip of his tongue to say no, but he ended up nodding.

“Excellent,” Hans said and then did the last thing Malcolm expected: he kissed him. Not hard, but it was enough to send Malcolm’s lips tingling.

“You usually kiss your friends?”

“Sorry.” Hans moved back. “I shouldn’t have done that. It was too much, and I did promise we could be friends.” Hans got to his feet. He put on his jacket and placed his tie in his pocket. Then he got his coat. “I don’t want to be a problem, but it’s probably best if you take me home.”

Malcolm thought that was best as well. He gathered the dishes and took them to the kitchen before getting his coat. As soon as they stepped out of the house, the cold assaulted Malcolm. Any residual effects of the Scotch were instantly gone. He locked the door and hurried down the walk to the car. Once they were buckled in, he started the car and pulled out.

Neither of them talked very much along the way. It wasn’t a particularly long drive from Whitefish Bay to Shorewood. Malcolm knew he should say something, but he wasn’t sure what. Hans had surprised him with the kiss. But it was only a kiss, and he was an adult. He certainly should have been able to deal with it.

Too soon Malcolm pulled into Hans’s driveway. He definitely should say something. The silence had gone way past comfortable. Malcolm pulled to a stop and turned to Hans, who opened his door, the cold air surging inside.

“I had a nice time this evening. I hope your arm is okay.” Hans got out of the car. “I’ll see you later.” He closed the door, and Malcolm watched as Hans hurried inside. The lights came on in the living room, and Malcolm pulled out of the drive and began the journey home.

When he got there, Malcolm went right upstairs and undressed, hung up his tuxedo, and then went through his nightly routine before climbing into bed. He knew he’d overreacted, but he wasn’t ready to be kissing anyone other than David.

His phone vibrated, and Malcolm checked it, answering the call when he saw it was Peter.

“So how did it go?” Peter asked.

“You really are worse than Mom ever was.”

“Don’t give me that. How did it go? Is he still there? I don’t want details, but did you have a good evening or a world-shattering evening?”

“Good Lord,” Malcolm groaned.

“That bad?”

“It was a nice evening, and I got back a little while ago from dropping Hans off at his house.”

“Okay, what happened?” Peter asked. “Come on. You wouldn’t be pissy if it had gone perfectly, so what happened? Did he burp or say something stupid?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“He kissed me.”

Silence on the other side of the line. “Okay. That’s bad?”

“I’m not ready. I knew this was a bad idea.” Malcolm wanted to hang up and go to bed.

“It was a great idea, and he kissed you. That’s good.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Malcolm protested.

“Why?” Peter asked immediately, and the line grew quiet. Malcolm knew Peter was waiting for an answer. “I can wait here all night if I have to.”

“Because I liked it,” Malcolm whispered and clamped his eyes closed. “I liked that he kissed me. It’s been a long time, and maybe I’m just lonely, but I miss David, and I’m tired of spending all my time sitting in this house looking at what’s left of the life we had together.” Malcolm got up and began to pace the room, ignoring the chill.

“What did you do?” Peter asked.

“I freaked out like some vestal virgin and took him home. Now I think I messed things up permanently.”

“If you aren’t ready for that sort of thing, then maybe that’s for the best. I’m sorry I pushed you so hard. Maybe you were right and I should have left you alone.”

Malcolm knew that act. He’d been to that little play more times than he could count, and he wasn’t going to bite. “Don’t be passive-aggressive. You don’t do it as well as you used to.”

“Fine. It was only a kiss, and one that you said you liked.” Peter paused for a second. “Are you sure this isn’t just guilt? You kissed Hans, and now you’re feeling guilty out of some misplaced sense that you’re somehow cheating on David? Because if you are, I’m going to fly back to town and smack you on the side of the head. I liked David. He was a great brother-in-law. Hell, there were times when I liked him more than I liked you. But I know he’d be angry as hell if you hung on like that. David was fun, and he’d want you to go on living… and you did, for once.”

“Okay, okay,” Malcolm said. “What do I do now?”

“How should I know? If you want, I can put Susan on. She’s great with stuff like that.”

“No. I’ll figure it out myself. Thanks for listening.”

“No problem, Mal. Now go to bed and get some rest.” They said good night, and Malcolm ended the call, suddenly feeling every chill in the room. He climbed under the covers and pulled them up around his neck, rolling onto his side, willing the sheets to warm.

He wasn’t any closer to answers an hour later, but he did feel better and had resolved to talk to Hans, if he’d take his calls. Maybe they could be friends. He needed some of those, and Hans had already seen him at his hot-and-cold worst. The only flaw in that plan seemed to be the fact that his lips still tingled when he thought about that kiss.

“MORNING, MALCOLM,”
Jane said when he arrived at the office. She had his calendar and coffee ready, just as she usually did. “How was the dinner?”

“It was nice. You should have gone.” He had offered to get her a pair of tickets. Malcolm gingerly set down his case. He was still babying his bruised arm a little.

“Why are you holding your arm that way?” she asked as Malcolm sat down.

“I got punched protecting Gary from an enraged boyfriend.” He settled in his chair and got comfortable.

“Is that why you look like crap?” She stepped forward and began fussing with his tie.

“Okay, I’ll give you the condensed version. I had fun. Hans and I danced. It was nice. I stepped in to break up a fight between Gary and his date’s boyfriend and took the punch. My shoulder is bruised, and it hurts. We left after that. At my house Hans kissed me, but I freaked, so I doubt he’s going to want to see me anymore. I feel like an idiot, and now I’m going to have to deal with the fallout of Gary’s bad behavior.” Malcolm glared at Jane. “And so help me, if any of this makes it to the office gossip mill through you, I will personally see that you get reassigned as Gary’s assistant.”

“Jesus. It was that bad?”

Malcolm groaned as he slowly began to type.

“What can I do to help?”

“Nothing, unless you have a way to make me feel less stupid for freaking out about a kiss.” He didn’t look up from his screen. “I don’t know why I’m talking to you about this.”

“Because you need someone to listen, and shame on you, Malcolm. I never spread rumors—you know that.”

She stormed out of the office, and Malcolm sighed. He felt like total crap, so he figured he might as well spread the fucking love. He got to work in peace for fifteen minutes until Jane whirlwinded back in.

“Okay. Your first appointment is in ten minutes, and here….” She plopped a small catalog on the desk and opened it. “I suggest these. They’re nice for an apology and don’t look too girly.”

“Flowers?” Malcolm looked at the catalog and then up at her.

Jane rolled her eyes. “Yes. You like him, don’t you?” She continued without waiting for his answer. “If you do, then….” She stabbed the catalog. “When a man has been an ass, he shall send flowers. It’s like the twelfth commandment. The eleventh is ‘don’t be an ass.’” She set the file on his desk as well and once again left the office.