Turning the Tables: From Housewife to Inmate and Back Again (13 page)

The sentencing started at 10 a.m. Joe went first. A U.S. District Court judge sentenced him to forty-one months in prison on four counts plus twelve months on another count, which he would serve concurrently. Joe was also ordered to pay $414,000 in restitution to Wells Fargo bank, plus $10,000 in fines. He also got two years’ probation.

When he was sentenced, I literally felt a knife go through my heart. I couldn’t breathe. All I could think of was,
This is the man I have loved my entire life.
I never thought it would actually happen, but here we were. My mind, my body, and my soul were overwhelmed.

When it was my turn to go before the judge, I stood up at the table where I had been sitting, trying not to cry as I read a letter to the court, telling the judge, in part, how much my daughters meant to me.

The judge listened quietly to my statement. Then my world came crashing down. She said she had thought about giving me probation. But then she said, “My gut says Teresa Giudice deserves to be in jail for a period of time. I have hope and I have faith that you have learned your lesson.”

She sentenced me to fifteen months in prison and ordered me to pay the $414,000 in restitution along with Joe. I was allowed to spend the holidays with my family, but had to turn myself in to prison on January 5, 2015. I was also given two years of supervised release after serving my prison sentence.

When I heard the word “prison,” my heart started racing. I felt like I had a tornado rushing through my head. I thought I was going to black out. My fingers froze and I couldn’t move my hands. I couldn’t breathe. It took everything I had to stand there and be strong. But it felt like another knife—a bigger and sharper one than ever before—had just been plunged into my stomach. I stood there, blinking and confused. I heard the word “prison” but it just didn’t register that I was actually going away.

One of the good things that came out of that horrible day was that the judge staggered our sentences, allowing me to serve my time first, before Joe began serving his, so our daughters would always have one parent at home with them. But I didn’t even hear her say that because my head felt like it was going to explode. When I processed it later, though, I was relieved and grateful that she allowed us that leeway.

She also gave me a lighter sentence than what the prosecutors wanted me to get. I was originally facing twenty-one to twenty-seven months in prison, but the judge said she gave me fifteen months because I had expressed “genuine remorse” in court and because I had no criminal history, paid my taxes, cared for my parents, and worked for various charities. She also said that she understood just how much I love my girls, which was perhaps the largest factor in her decision. At one point, she said, “I’ve got to say, you’re a devoted mother . . . There is a bond between these girls and their mother. I have to consider these girls, and their bond [with you].” She also said, “This doesn’t define you as a mom.” I appreciated that she saw that, and I started crying again, because all I could think of were my babies and how they were going to fare when I went to prison. We also learned the government would probably garnish our earnings going forward (and they did).

I hated seeing the media waiting for us when we left court. I was shaken to the core and in my own world at that point. I just wanted to get home to my family. When we got in the car, I broke down on the way home, sobbing into Joe’s shoulder. We were both stunned. Neither of us could believe that we were going to prison. We held each other for a long time. I told him I loved him more than anything in the world—and he told me the same. We rode in silence for the rest of the trip home. All I kept thinking was that when this first started, I thought that the judge would see the truth about everything and that it was all going to work out. But here’s the bottom line: I never thought I was going to end up in prison.

By the time I got home, I felt like a truck had run me over. I felt like I had been beaten up. I was so drained and just numb. We had been in court from 10 a.m. until 5 p.m. with only a ten-minute break. When we walked into the house, my parents, Joe’s family, and some of our closest friends were waiting for us. There were so many people over—especially Joe’s family, which is huge—that it reminded me of when my father-in-law passed away and everyone was at our house. The difference was that everyone was crying when Joe’s father died. When we got home, everyone was upset, but tried to be strong for Joe and me. I don’t even like to compare the two moments, but it just seemed like that other horrible day in our lives.

I didn’t say much to Gabriella, Milania, and Audriana, but Gia knew what had happened. She broke down crying when we walked through the door. I took her in my arms and held her, trying hard not to cry. I hugged the other girls for what seemed like an eternity. I just didn’t want to let them go.

Milania wanted to know why so many people were at our house—and why everyone seemed upset. I didn’t know what to say. I was already so shell-shocked and couldn’t think straight. Someone jumped in and said that we were there for a memorial for Nonno, who had passed away three months before.

I went upstairs and told my mom to come into my bedroom. I told her what had happened. She started crying and she was saying, “Why you? You are always such a good girl. You do not deserve this.” I started crying and said, as my voice cracked, “There’s a reason why. They thought I broke the law.” I asked her not to get upset. I said, “I need you and I don’t want you to get sick over this.” I hugged her, and said, “I will be fine. Please don’t worry.” It broke my heart to see my mom upset like that. I really didn’t say too much to my dad. I just hugged him and kissed him. He asked me, “How long?” I told him fifteen months. I also told him what I had told my mom—that I would be fine. He said, “Yes, you will be fine. Don’t worry about anything.” What he meant was, don’t worry about my daughters. I knew exactly what he was saying—that he and my mom would be there to help Joe take care of them. All he had to do was look at me and I understood him clearly. We just have that kind of connection. I stood there and looked back at the man with the strong hands who had protected me my whole life, who couldn’t do anything to help me right now except comfort me with his words. “OK,” I said. “I love you, Papè.” I hugged him again and tried not to cry.

I had told my parents what had happened, which was hard enough, and now I had to figure out what to tell the girls. I honestly didn’t know. How do you tell three little girls that their mommy is going to prison? Maybe Gabriella and Milania would understand it, but little Audriana wouldn’t. I needed some time to think about how I was going to handle this.

My brother called in the midst of this. He was crying hysterically and said he couldn’t believe what had happened. My voice was shaking, and I tried not to cry because I wanted to be strong for him. I told him I would be fine. It broke my heart to hear him crying like that on the phone. He told me he loved me and would be there for me no matter what. I told him I loved him, too. I hung up and broke down in tears. All of the tension in our relationship and all the angst we had gone through together just didn’t matter—I loved Joey so much and hated to see him hurting like this. His call told me for sure that no matter what we had been through, we had an unbreakable bond.

All I asked of Joe now was that he take care of our daughters. I did everything for them and now he had to take over. I also told him what Gia had said about taking care of her sisters when I left for prison, which breaks my heart to this day, but makes me love her even more. She said, “Mommy, don’t worry about it. I’ll be there. I’ll help Daddy with the girls.” She said, “That’ll prepare me for when I’m a mom.” As a mother, what more could you ask for?

F
rom the moment I got sentenced until the night I had to leave to turn myself in to prison, I vowed to enjoy every moment with my family. Gabriella’s tenth birthday was on October 4, just two days after the sentencing. I wasn’t moping around or feeling sorry for myself. We celebrated like we always did. We had a party with her friends at Coastal Sports, a sports facility in Fairfield, New Jersey, and had a wonderful time. I enjoyed planning her party, getting everything ready, and watching her blow out the candles on her cake. I was savoring every minute of times I may have taken for granted before. I just tried not to think about what I would have to face a few months down the road. My three youngest daughters still didn’t know I was going to prison.

The following day, I put on a glittery gold gown and filmed the Season 6 reunion. I didn’t back out. I wasn’t in the best of moods, but I showed up and did my job because I am a professional. I apologized to my fans for letting them down and said my goodbyes. As much I don’t like the reunion shows, I felt sad walking off the set that night. I was leaving what was familiar and was now facing an uncertain future.

I made the most of my next three months home. If you look at my Instagram account from that time, you will see that I did something fun with my daughters every weekend. We went horseback riding, to a hockey game, and skiing at Mountain Creek in Vernon, New Jersey.

We also spent the weekend in New York City with our friend Lisa G. We went ice skating in Rockefeller Center, visited the top of the Empire State Building, took a horse and carriage ride in Central Park, had lunch at the Plaza Hotel, and went to the unbelievable toy store, FAO Schwarz. We tried to enjoy life as much as possible—and though each memory is wonderful, it’s also tinged with pain, because I was counting down the seconds until we were apart.

In a weird way, I felt like I was dying, because I knew I had such limited days with them. I just felt like I wanted to build special memories for them, which they could look back on when I went away. This was important for me to do for all my girls, but especially for Audriana because she was only five at the time. I never thought I would be away from one of my daughters at that age. But God was giving me a challenge. I didn’t know why at the time, but I took comfort in putting one foot in front of the other. At this time in my life, it was better to be a little robotic (while I tried to keep our household as normal as possible) than to be the alternative: a sobbing, inconsolable mess.

I
didn’t know it then, but someone was about to come into my life and help turn things around for me in a big way. In early December, I was busy preparing for Christmas, which was always a big deal in our house. But this year, it was different because I was going away after New Year’s, and that cast a dark shadow on the holiday I had always associated with happy times. Even when I tried to put prison out of my mind, I couldn’t.

I had about a month left before I had to turn myself in, and I still had a lot to take care of before I surrendered. We had paid $200,000 of the $414,000 in restitution the judge ordered us to pay, but we still owed $214,000 and the government wanted its money.

In the coming weeks, I had to go to the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Newark for a series of meetings to figure out how we were going to pay the rest of the restitution back. Joe and I were going to do everything we could to pay them back as soon as possible.

But I didn’t have a lawyer, because I had parted ways with the ones I had in the past. One night, while I was getting ready to drive the girls to all their activities, Joe told me that a friend of his was bringing a new lawyer to our house. He said he thought this guy might actually be able to help us. I thought,
Yeah, right, I’ve heard that one before.

Joe’s friend told him that this lawyer had helped him out and that he was a great criminal defense lawyer who worked very hard for his clients.
Great
, I thought.
Where was this lawyer when I really needed him?
When I got home, Joe was sitting at the kitchen table with his friend and the new guy. Joe introduced him to me and said, “Tre, meet your new lawyer. His name is James Leonard.”

I asked him to come with me into the living room so we could talk privately. “Teresa,” he said, leaning in close, “all these problems that you and Joe are going through, they too are going to pass. You’ll see. Brighter days are coming.” There was something about the way he said it that made me think he truly believed that. “You do know I am going to prison in a month . . .” I said. He smiled. “You’re going to be fine in there. Don’t be afraid of that.” That made me stop for a moment. Since Joe and I had gotten sentenced, no one had ever told me that I was going to be fine. Everyone was saying things like, “I’m so sorry,” and “Oh my God, I can’t believe it.” But here was this guy sitting on my couch, saying, “You’re going to be OK. Don’t worry.” I don’t know exactly why, but I started to cry. Maybe it was because it hit me that I was
really
going to prison in a month. But maybe it was the fact that I was relieved that this lawyer seemed so confident that everything was going to turn out all right for me and Joe, despite everything we were going through. I decided to follow Joe’s friend’s suggestion and hired Jim on the spot. I’d finally found a lawyer I could count on and trust.

We had a low-key Christmas that year with our family. This was our first Christmas without my father-in-law, so it was tough for all of us. Joe’s sister, Maria, hosted our Christmas Eve festivities. We toasted their dad at dinner and said a prayer for him, asking God to protect him.

On Christmas Day, we opened our gifts in the morning before we went to church. Audriana, Gabriella, and Milania were so excited that Santa had come—and had eaten the cookies we left out for him the night before. I loved seeing Gia so relaxed and happy, since like me, Christmas is one of her favorite holidays. These were the moments I treasured and would carry with me in the coming year.

When we got home, I started cooking up a storm because Joe’s family was coming over for Christmas Day. I made all kinds of
delizioso
dishes, like stuffed mushrooms, lasagna, prime rib, ham, and broccoli rabe. For a second, I felt like my life was normal again. We didn’t talk about prison at all.