Tutor Me (4 page)

“Thanks Teach. So, next week, same time same place?” He gave me his best cocky grin, and my heart almost melted, but not quite. Now he puts on the charm?

“Maybe, if I decide to come.” I heard him chuckling as I walked to my car, but I didn’t look back.

“Hey Jenny.” The football game had ended and we were gathering up our things under the strobe lights. It had been a home game and we’d lost, so the atmosphere was a little subdued as people filed out of the bleachers. I turned around to find Bryce standing by me, sweaty in his uniform, his helmet in one hand and a Gatorade in the other. Despite the dripping sweat and messy helmet hair he looked gorgeous. He towered above me. His eyes raked me up and down in my cheerleading costume. I was pretty sweaty myself but from his look he apparently didn’t mind.

“Hi.” I said, giving him a shy smile.

“So, are you coming to my party tonight?” He tipped his head to the side in an adorable way.

“I think most of the cheerleading squad will be there.” That had come out a little stiff but I felt awkward since he hadn’t formally invited me and we barely knew each other. It seemed presumptuous to say yes.

He took a step forward, ignoring the shout of “Dude, Bryce lets go” from one of his teammates. He was now standing a few inches from me. I had to tilt my head up to meet his eyes.

“But will YOU be there?” He had a small smile on his face but his gaze was intense.

I nodded, feeling too nervous to even say yes. What a loser I was. The most popular guy in the school was telling me he cared whether I went to his party or not and I couldn’t even speak.

“Awesome. See you tonight then.” He gave me a panty melting smile, then turned and walked away toward the locker rooms.
Holy dreamboat
.

I headed into the girls’ locker rooms to get my stuff, kind of tripping out from the encounter with Bryce. All he’d done was ask if I was coming to his party and commented that he was happy I would be there. Still, that was tantamount to a declaration of interest. Lacey and Alex were on their way out the door, still in their cheerleading costumes. The showers were gross so we all tried to shower at home when we could. They stopped, duffle bags over their shoulders.

“So, were you waylaid by Bryce, is that why you’re late?” Lacey was psychic or something. Alex looked at me with frank curiosity.

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. “He was checking to see if I’m coming tonight.”

Lacey nodded approvingly. “Good. He’s staking his claim early and will make his move at the party.”

“Wow what are you, the puppeteer? I hope you’re not orchestrating all this, Lacey.”

Alex looked shocked that I would speak so tartly to the Queen Bee. But Lacey’s involvement here was bordering on annoying.

But Lacey laughed genuinely. “You are hilarious Jenny. I have not said one word to him. I just know how guys think, that’s all. You sure you don’t want me to pick you up?”

“No, thanks, I’ll meet you there.” I wanted to have my car so I could leave if I wasn’t having a good time.

“OK, I’ll text you when I’m leaving so we can arrive at the same time.” I knew this was for my benefit since Lacey could stroll into that party alone and own it, but she knew I was a little nervous about walking in by myself. My irritation with her gave way to gratitude.

After the girls left I got my things and hurried home to shower, eat something, and get ready before driving myself to the party. Parties stressed me out. I was better at one on one conversation than navigating through a group. I was wearing a silky gray tank and a navy bubble skirt, very short, with jeweled leather flip flops. When I’d decided to move up socially I’d started paying more attention to my wardrobe, with help from Tina. My budget was limited so I relied on Forever 21 and H&M sale racks. I was a pretty good bargain hunter: shopping was kind of tedious but it wasn’t rocket science. Looking at myself in the mirror now, I felt good. My hair was down and I’d put on mascara, which I rarely wore. I facetimed with Tina quickly to show her how I looked. She approved.

“If Bryce doesn’t find me attractive in this outfit there’s not much more I can do.” But my show of confidence didn’t stop the butterflies.

As I drove to the party, though, my mind drifted away from Bryce to Callum. We hadn’t spoken since our tutoring session on Wednesday.  The next day in Calc he had come into the classroom after I was already seated. I’d watched him as he walked down the aisle toward me, somehow deluded into thinking he was walking toward me. Which of course he wasn’t, he just walked past my desk then over to his usual seat.  He didn’t look at me until he was right by my desk, at which point he caught my eye and nodded silently. I gave him a small smile. He then ran his knuckles lightly across the top of the desk as he continued past.

At that casual gesture, which he probably barely noticed he did, I felt my heart thump in my chest and my face flush.
What the heck, Jenny?
  I was pissed at myself for my reaction, no, overreaction. His nod had been courteous, a student acknowledging his tutor, and the hand on the desk was just a funny gesture that was probably easier than actually talking to me. But I had watched that hand, fingers loosely closed, drift by like a feather across the desktop, and I pictured myself on my back, and my stomach was the desktop.
His magnetic pull on me had to stop. Now
. 

If that Noelle girl was his type, then he definitely wouldn’t be into me: talk about opposites in looks. She had a few inches on my 5’5”, and she kind of slouched supermodel style, while I had ramrod straight posture. Our coloring was completely different too: I was tanned from swimming, for starters. On confident days I thought of my hair as caramel but really it was light brown, and my eyes were a darker shade of brown than my hair (Seb, in happier times, had called them toffee colored). I was thin too, but more athletic and curvy than Crab Girl. And forget about the clothes and my lack of tats and piercings. So yep, I was so not his type. I blinked my eyes shut briefly to pull myself together, then focused on Mr. F.

On Friday I purposefully showed up to class late so that Callum was already in his seat. I forced myself not to make eye contact as I sat down, and didn’t turn around during class.

Now, as I approached Bryce’s house, I wondered what Callum was up to at this moment. He certainly wouldn’t be at this party, since he moved in very different circles and made no secret of his antipathy toward this crowd. Well screw him, these were my friends. Sort of.

From what I could tell in the dark, Bryce’s house was big and, if not quite as luxurious as Lacey’s, still spelled money. Cars were parked all up and down the street but I was able to squeeze my little bug in a spot close to the house where the other cars and SUVs couldn’t fit.
Loved my car!
  There was Lacey’s Audi: good. I felt better knowing she was inside. I didn’t bother to text her to meet me at the door. I could go in on my own. Music and voices reached me as I walked up the driveway and in through the front door. I didn’t bother to knock as I doubted anyone would hear me. The party was jumping, with music and warm bodies and loud talking engulfing me. I recognized a lot of faces but not all, not that most of them would know me. I scanned the crowd for Lacey but didn’t see her.

I was making my way to the kitchen where I figured the keg would be when a gentle tap made me turn around. It was one of the cheerleaders, Charlotte, and I was delighted to see her. She was sweet and friendly, hands down the nicest girl on the squad. Charlotte was a brunette, very petite, with dark gleaming eyes. She always reminded me of an adorable chipmunk.

“Hi Jenny,” she said happily. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

She filled me in. Lacey was in the TV room down the hall, and Bryce was getting another keg ready in the kitchen. I chatted with Charlotte a bit as we headed toward the TV room to check in with Lacey. Even though we’d had practice together for a couple months now, funnily enough, we’d never had a chance to talk as Charlotte was quiet around Lacey and her minions. As we passed a wide receiver named Pete he smacked her lightly on the ass, causing her to giggle, but she kept walking.

“Are you dating Pete?”

“Not really. We just hook up off and on, nothing serious.”

I was a little shocked. Charlotte deserved to be more than Pete’s FWB. Lacey seemed so strong but maybe the cheerleaders did just service the football players. I pushed the unwelcome thought from my head.

We found Lacey. She was sitting on her boyfriend Kai’s lap while he and Jake, another football player, played a video game on the Wii. Kai had to crane his neck to the side to see the screen around Lacey but he didn’t seem bothered by this. Lacey was talking to a couple girls who stood by the couch. Her face lit up when she saw me.

“Jenny, you’re here, yay! And you look hot! Charlotte, show her where the keg is. I’ll catch up with you, or you can come back here to hang if you want.” I nodded obediently. Lacey’s bossiness was welcome now, because I felt she would take care of me.

In the kitchen Pete was now acting as keg master. He filled a cup and handed it to me, saying “Bryce is looking for you. He’s out in the patio.”

I was surprised that Pete even knew my name. Charlotte was talking to some people so I went through the screen door to the patio. It was dark but the air was still thick with heat. Bryce’s pool was glowing pale blue. It looked inviting, but not with fifty people watching me. Bryce and I spotted each other at the same moment. He was talking with a few people but when our eyes met he grinned and peeled away from them.

“Hey beautiful, you made it!” He stood next to me, brushing his hand against my arm. He was now wearing a polo shirt and khaki shorts, his blond hair gelled up. I had his full attention and believe me it felt terrific.

“I did. Pete gave me a beer so I’m all set.” There was a pause, which I had to fill. “So, I take it your parents are away?”

“Yeh they’re playing golf in Colorado with friends this weekend. I’ve got some cleaners coming tomorrow to get the house back to normal before they get home on Sunday.”

I nodded, saying “Cool,” because it seemed the appropriate response.

Bryce suddenly reached out and took my hand. His felt large and warm. He led me toward some lounge chairs by the pool, only releasing my hand once we were seated, facing each other.

“So, who are you? I can’t believe you were at our school all last year and I never noticed you.” 

I shrugged. “It’s hard to transfer schools as a junior. I stayed under the radar, basically nerding out with schoolwork.”

He nodded. “I get that.”

I wasn’t sure that he did- I doubted if he had ever even considered such a thing in his life. But I appreciated the attempt at empathy. I didn’t bother to add, ‘And of course you wouldn’t have noticed me, even though I looked the same, until I was an appropriate person to date.’ We both knew that and, this being high school, weren’t concerned by it.

We talked a bit more. He told me his dad was a stock broker, and that his dream was to play football for ASU.  I liked looking at him while he talked about himself.

We were eventually interrupted by a drunken Kai clutching a bottle of tequila. “Dude, time for some shots!”

Bryce hesitated, glancing at me, but I said “go ahead, I’m good.” It was his party, I couldn’t monopolize him the whole time. Besides, I needed to pee. I walked inside and Kai took my spot on the lounge chair. Some other guys joined them with shot glasses. For the next hour I sipped my by-now lukewarm beer and talked to various cheerleaders and others I knew. Besides not wanting to drink when I was driving, I wasn’t comfortable enough in this crowd to get drunk. At one point while pretending to fiddle with my phone I looked up to see Caitlin Morgensen from Calc in front of me. She had a shy smile on her face. I smiled back, hoping she’d lead the conversation as I had nothing much to say to her unless she wanted to talk math.

“You’re in my Calc class, right?”

I nodded.

“We were also in Algebra together last year.”

I’d forgotten that but nodded again.

“I have to tell you, that day last spring when you solved that Algebra problem was freakin’ awesome.”

Puzzlement must have shown on my face, because she laughed. “Don’t you even remember? It was so cool. Mr. F put this really tricky equation on the board, and the whole class was just staring at the board like, ‘no way’, and suddenly you raise your hand and in this cool voice go, ‘I think I got this.’ And you stride up to the front of the class, so confident, and you just start scribbling up there and talking through each step, and you just demolish that equation.”

“No I didn’t,” I replied. “I got stuck and had to ask Mr. F for help.” It was a moment I’d found rather humiliating.

Caitlin waved a dismissive hand. “But don’t you see, that was part of what was so perfect about it. You didn’t give up, you kept your cool, and you finally got it. And Mr. F, who had been kind of pissed at how lame we all were, was as cheery as I’ve ever seen him. He goes ‘well done Miss Bartholomew.’ But instead of basking in the glory, you didn’t crack a smile but just shrugged, put the marker down, and strolled back to your seat, as if it was no big deal. Talk about having swag. You are my idol.”

I was astounded that the incident had made such an impression. I’d loved tackling that challenging problem, but months later the missed step still rankled.

She gave me a drunken hug, then frowned. “I like my Calc tutor but I was so hoping you’d be my tutor!”