Tutoring Second Language Writers (37 page)

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8. Balance Softening the Criticisms and Being Clear

Dealing with students’ papers in a one-on-one writing conference—facing them in person with their limited English abilities—is not an easy task. The difficulty is partially due to the nature of a writing conference in which the tutees expect corrections and partially because the students may misunderstand tutors or get confused by the given comments. Sometimes tutors need to mitigate their criticism, but there are times when they must be very clear about what needs to be changed. In order to mitigate the criticism, tutors can use the above-mentioned strategy (presenting the criticism with a praise and/or a suggestion), incorporating modal auxiliaries (e.g.,
might
,
could
,
would
, etc.). We believe that in critiquing the students’ writing, the most important thing is to start by showing your appreciation of the students’ effort (e.g., by saying “I really like your idea about . . . ” or “You’ve done a lot of research on . . .” or “This part is very impressive”) and then drawing their attention to the parts they need to improve on. By doing so, it is clear the tutors can clearly indicate that they are aware of the hard work students put into their writing and are trying to help them improve it. We are positive that most international students who go to the writing center expect to hear advice and critique from tutors. Thus, tutors need not be overly worried about offending them by critiquing their work.

9. Ask Effective Questions

Questions can be useful for a number of purposes in a writing tutorial. Questions keep the tutee focused and alert. By asking properly formulated questions, the tutor can also give the tutee time to reflect upon the point in question and an opportunity to self-correct the error. This process can give the tutee a sense of shared power and responsibility. For example, if the student has trouble writing a clear thesis statement, the tutor might say, “It’s not very clear to me what your main argument is in this paper; what is the most important message you want your readers to get?” or “Where do you stand in this debate?” Asking questions can also mitigate the tone of criticism.

After the Tutoring Session
10.
Encourage Self-Study

It is important to point L2 students to resources that can help them learn to improve their writing on their own. Give examples from those resources, such as how to increase the level of formality in their writing by using nominalization, which is common in academic English. Books
and dictionaries focusing on collocations are great for self-study. The tutor can tell students that studying these resources can help their text to sound natural and smooth. There are also countless online resources that can help L2 students enrich their writing skills. It might be useful to have a handout that lists all the resources, both physical and online, that tutors can give to L2 writers in particular. Some suggested resources are listed at the end of this chapter.

11. Keep Records of What You Learn

Working with L2 students at a writing center can be a very enriching experience. Once you have the chance, do not let it pass by. Keep a tutoring journal; write down what you learn from each session, whether your entries are about surprising mistakes students make, different cultural expectations, what you feel you did right or wrong, and so forth. This personal journal can potentially be a rich and practical resource for a writing center. After some time, you could put together the knowledge you have gained to share with other tutors or to be used in tutor training.

To make the process of helping L2 students edit more vivid, we provide a vignette of a tutoring session with an L2 student at a writing center in the United States. The tutor is the first author of this chapter. The relevant strategies are identified in parentheses after they are used.

On a snowy afternoon, Hala came to the writing center with a statement of purpose as a part of her application to a master’s program. She asked if she could get help with proofreading her essay. The top part of her essay read:

Goal Statement of Hala Al Habia

Thank you for taking a moment to consider my application for enrollment into your graduate program. My name is Hala Al Habia. I’m an international student from . . . . I graduated from the College of Education for Girls in the second semester of 2005 with honors. I also earned Diploma of Computer during the period of one year in 2007 with excellent grades. I’m now working a lecturer at College of Education at . . . since beginning of 2010 until now.

As soon as I saw the first part, I could tell the essay needed some editing, not just proofreading, as Hala expected (Strategy 4: Assess Organization). After skimming through the essay, I said to Hala, “Your profile is impressive! Now, your essay was written in a different style from American students (Strategy 8: Balance Softening the Criticisms and Being Clear). Maybe it’s done this way in your country, but in the US this
type of essay is not written in a letter format. I hope it’s okay with you that I give comments based on the organization as well. It should be in an essay format with an interesting introduction, then body paragraphs, and conclusion. It seems you will need to edit this quite a bit.” (Strategy 2: Negotiate Expectations and Set Priorities)

Hala looked a bit tense but seemed willing to go on. I then explained that it is not effective to only repeat the information in the resumé, but it would be more interesting to state what drew her to pursue a particular program at the university she was applying to. Then, I read the whole essay aloud and found some parts that could be used at the beginning of the essay, so I pointed them out to Hala: “Although your essay has unexpected organization, it has some very well-written parts. I like this part here that says, ‘I want to achieve my dream to be an artist. I like to live in the world of nature and color. . . . The brush became the most effective way to express my feelings. . . . My self-confidence increased from my professors’ support and awards I received while I was studying in the university.’ I think it’d be more interesting to open your essay with this.” (Strategy 8: Balance Softening the Criticisms and Being Clear)

After discussing with Hala how her essay could be reorganized, I picked one paragraph in the essay to work with in terms of correcting errors. The paragraph read:

Besides teaching, I’m in charge of student activities since 2010 [verb tense]. Which is a voluntary work free of charge [redundancy] the purpose of the implementation of programs serving the students and the community based on our area of specialization [fragment and sentence structure]. The targets of these activities first, develop the student’s personality and closer the relationship between students and teachers [sentence structure]. Then, taking into account individual differences among students with develop a plan to suit their abilities [sentence structure]. After that, administration gave students the freedom right [word choice] to choose the activities that they are interested in. These are some of our targets in these student activities and I’m glad to supervise these activities [redundancy].

There are many types of errors in this paragraph, but the most serious and recurring is about sentence structure (Strategy 5: Look for Patterns of Errors). In this case, it was questionable that the student could spot her problems and self-correct. Nevertheless, I decided to work with her on that point. I told her, “I’m impressed with what you have written about here, but there are some problems with sentence structures that we have to work on. Can you pick a sentence in this paragraph that you think is problematic?” (Strategy 8: Balance Softening the Criticisms and Being Clear; Strategy 6: Try to Avoid Direct Corrections) Hala took some
time and pointed hesitantly to the fragment in the paragraph (“Which is a voluntary work free of charge . . .), so I said, “Exactly, that one is not a complete sentence, right?” She nodded and said, “But I don’t know how to correct it.”

I then explained to Hala that it is not acceptable to start a sentence with
which
because it is used to join a noun and its modifying part. After giving an example of how to use
which
correctly, I asked her to try to join the first sentence of the paragraph with
which
in the fragment. With my help, the sentence became, “Besides teaching, I’m in charge of student activities, which are voluntary work.” In this case, it was necessary for me to help her to put the words together to form a sentence because she could not do it on her own. So instead, we did it together. Then once the sentence was formed, I was able to explain its structure. I told her the rest of the sentence was ungrammatical because there was no main verb in it (“. . . the purpose of the implementation of programs serving the students and the community based on our area of specialization”). I asked her, “Can you circle the most important verb in the sentence?” (Strategy 9: Asking Effective Questions). Hala circled the verb
serving
and asked why it was not grammatical. I explained to her that the
ing
form cannot be a main verb and that she had to rewrite the sentence to read, “The purpose of the implementation of the programs
is to serve
the students and the community based on our area of specialization.”

The session went on, and I tried to help her by focusing on sentence structures. It was clear that her first language interfered with her English writing. Since I was not familiar with her first language (Arabic), it was quite challenging to help her edit the essay. I had to ask her constantly to explain to me what she wanted to say. One session was obviously not sufficient. After about one hour, I asked her to try revising on her own at home and to come back the following day to continue working with me.

In Hala’s case, the challenge was the level of the student’s writing proficiency. We have to admit that at this level, helping the student to become a self-editor might be far-fetched. However, we believe it is still worth a try. In a case such as this, some explicit feedback is needed. Also, it is a good idea to recommend that the student take a writing class specifically for L2 students before starting her graduate program. We hope the short vignette helps illustrate strategies tutors could use with L2 students.

Helping L2 writers one on one in a tutoring session is a great endeavor in which both the tutor and the student writer can learn and grow professionally. In this chapter, we have discussed issues pertaining to tutoring these students and offered some advice on how to lead a tutoring
session to encourage development in both parties. Based on existing literature and our own experiences as L2/EFL writing teachers and tutors, we feel it is productive to help students learn to become self-editors by giving both oral and written feedback tailored to individual students’ needs and proficiency levels. This process can be time consuming and painstaking at times, but as a good tutor knows, there is no shortcut to becoming a good writer. Assisting students to do so in their second or foreign language is a double challenge, yet a rewarding experience well worth the effort.

Questions to Consider

1. Various suggestions for tutoring strategies are introduced in the chapter. From your experience as a writing tutor, are there any strategies you used that did not go well or meet the student’s expectations?

2. In the process of editing international students’ writing and giving corrections, what kind of resistance have you experienced, and what do you think are the causes?

3. As discussed in the section about tutoring strategies, giving a negative evaluation is like delivering bitter medicine to the tutee. We suggest three strategies in points 7–9 (do not overwhelm students with negative evaluations, balance softening the criticism and being clear, and ask effective questions). Can you think of any other strategies? Also, do you think these strategies will work differently with individuals from different cultures? Based on your tutoring experience, discuss these questions with your partner or in a group.

4. Consider this scenario: an international student brings her work to the writing center and asks for help with grammar. You explain to her that instead of helping to correct all her grammatical mistakes, you will find the most common pattern of errors and work with her on that. She looks puzzled and insists that the writing center should do the editing job for her. How would you respond to her reactions?

Appendix

Figure 14.1.
Inform the exact location and identity of the error.

Figure 14.2.
Indicate the exact location but not the identity of the error.

Figure 14.3.
Indicate only the approximate location or identity of the error.

Figure 14.4.
All strategies.

BOOK: Tutoring Second Language Writers
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