Authors: William Shakespeare
Enter Duke
[
Orsino
]
, Viola, Curio and Lords
ORSINO
Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends?
FESTE
Ay, sir, we are some of her
trappings.
8
ORSINO
I know thee well. How dost thou, my good fellow?
FESTE
Truly, sir, the better
for
10
my foes and the worse for my
friends.
ORSINO
Just the contrary, the better for thy friends.
FESTE
No, sir, the worse.
ORSINO
How can that be?
FESTE
Marry, sir, they praise me and make an ass of me.
Now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes,
sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself, and by my friends I am
abused
:
so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four
18
negatives make your two affirmatives, why then, the worse
for my friends and the better for my foes.
ORSINO
Why, this is excellent.
FESTE
By my troth, sir, no,
though
22
it please you to be one of
Gives a coin
ORSINO
Thou shalt not be the worse for me.
There’s gold.
FESTE
But
26
that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you
could make it another.
ORSINO
O, you give me ill counsel.
FESTE
Put
your grace
in your pocket
29
, sir, for this once, and
let your
flesh and blood
obey
it.
30
Gives another coin
ORSINO
Well, I will be so much a sinner
to
31
be
a double-dealer. There’s another.
FESTE
Primo, secundo, tertio
, is a good
play
33
, and the old
saying is, the
third pays for all.
The
triplex
34
, sir, is a good
tripping
measure
, or the bells of
Saint Bennet
35
, sir, may put
you in mind: one, two, three.
ORSINO
You can fool no more money out of me at this
throw.
38
If you will let your lady know I am here to speak with
her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty
further.
FESTE
Marry, sir,
lullaby
41
to your bounty till I come again. I
go, sir. But I would not have you to think that my desire of
having is the sin of covetousness. But as you say, sir, let your
bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon.
Exit
Enter Antonio and Officers
VIOLA
Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me.
ORSINO
That face of his I do remember well,
Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmeared
As black as
Vulcan
48
in the smoke of war.
A
bawbling
49
vessel was he captain of,
For
shallow
draught
and bulk
unprizeable
50
,
With which such
scathful
grapple
51
did he make
With the most noble
bottom
52
of our fleet,
That
very
envy
and the tongue of
loss
53
Cried fame and honour on him. What’s the matter?
FIRST OFFICER
Orsino, this is that Antonio
That took the
Phoenix
and her
fraught
from
Candy
56
,
And this is he that did the
Tiger
57
board
When your young nephew Titus lost his leg;
Here in the streets,
desperate
59
of shame and state,
In private
brabble
60
did we apprehend him.
VIOLA
He did me kindness, sir, drew
on my side
61
,
But in conclusion
put strange speech upon me.
62
I know not what ’twas
but distraction.
63
ORSINO
Notable
64
pirate! Thou salt-water thief!
What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies,
Whom thou, in terms so
bloody
and so
dear
66
,
Hast made thine enemies?
ANTONIO
Orsino, noble sir,
Be pleased that I
69
shake off these names you give me.
Antonio never yet was thief or pirate,
Though I confess, on
base
71
and ground enough,
Orsino’s enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither.
That most ingrateful boy there by your side
From the
rude
74
sea’s enraged and foamy mouth
Did I redeem. A wreck past hope he was.
His life I gave him and did thereto add
My love, without
retention
77
or restraint,
All his in dedication.
78
For his sake
Did I expose myself —
pure
79
for his love —
Into the danger of this
adverse
80
town,
Drew to defend him when he was beset,
Where being apprehended, his false cunning —
Not meaning to partake with me in danger —
Taught him to
face me out of his acquaintance
84
,
And
grew a twenty years removèd thing
85
While one would wink, denied me mine own purse,
Which I had
recommended
87
to his use
Not half an hour before.
VIOLA
How can this be?
ORSINO
When came he to this town?
ANTONIO
Today, my lord. And for three months before,
No interim, not a minute’s vacancy,
Both day and night did we keep company.
Enter Olivia and Attendants
ORSINO
Here comes the countess. Now heaven walks on earth.
But for
95
thee, fellow — fellow, thy words are madness.
Three months this youth hath tended upon me.
But more of that anon. Take him aside.
OLIVIA
What would my lord,
but that he may not have
98
,
Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?
Cesario, you do not keep promise with me.
VIOLA
Madam?
ORSINO
Gracious Olivia—
OLIVIA
What do you say, Cesario? Good my
lord
103
—
VIOLA
My lord would speak, my duty hushes me.
OLIVIA
If it be
aught
105
to the old tune, my lord,
It is as
fat
and
fulsome
106
to mine ear
As howling after music.
ORSINO
Still so cruel?
OLIVIA
Still so constant, lord.
ORSINO
What, to perverseness? You
uncivil
110
lady,
To whose
ingrate
and
unauspicious
111
altars
My soul the faithfull’st offerings hath breathed out
That e’er devotion
tendered!
113
What shall I do?
OLIVIA
Even what
it please my lord that shall
become
114
him.
ORSINO
Why should I not, had I the heart to do it,
Like to th’
Egyptian thief
116
at point of death,
Kill what I love? — a savage jealousy
That sometimes
savours nobly.
118
But hear me this:
Since you to
non-regardance
119
cast my faith,
And
that
120
I partly know the instrument
That
screws
121
me from my true place in your favour,
Live you the marble-breasted tyrant still.
But this your
minion
123
, whom I know you love,
And whom, by heaven I swear, I
tender
124
dearly,
Him will I tear out of that cruel eye,
Where he sits crownèd
in his master’s spite.
126
Come, boy, with me. My thoughts are
ripe in mischief
127
:
I’ll sacrifice the lamb that I do love,
To spite a raven’s heart within a dove.
Starts to leave
VIOLA
And I, most
jocund
,
apt
130
and willingly,
To do you rest
131
, a thousand deaths would die.
Starts to leave
OLIVIA
Where goes Cesario?
VIOLA
After him I love
More than I love these eyes, more than my life,
More, by all
mores
135
, than e’er I shall love wife.
If I do feign, you witnesses above
Punish my life for
tainting of
137
my love!
OLIVIA
Ay me, detested! How am I
beguiled!
138
VIOLA
Who does beguile you? Who does do you wrong?
OLIVIA
Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long?
Call forth the holy father.
[
Exit an Attendant
]
To Viola
ORSINO
Come, away!
OLIVIA
Whither, my lord? Cesario, husband, stay.
ORSINO
Husband?
OLIVIA
Ay, husband. Can he that deny?
ORSINO
Her husband,
sirrah?
146
VIOLA
No, my lord, not I.
OLIVIA
Alas, it is the
baseness
148
of thy fear
That makes thee
strangle
thy
propriety
149
Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up.
Be
that
151
thou know’st thou art, and then thou art
As great as
that thou fear’st.
152
Enter Priest
O, welcome, father!
Father, I charge thee by thy reverence
Here to
unfold
155
, though lately we intended
To keep in darkness what occasion now
Reveals before ’tis ripe, what thou dost know
Hath newly passed between this youth and me.
PRIEST
A contract of eternal bond of love,
Confirmed by mutual
joinder
160
of your hands,
Attested by the holy
close
161
of lips,
Strengthened by interchangement of your rings,
And all the ceremony of this
compact
163
Sealed in my function
164
, by my testimony.
Since when, my
watch
165
hath told me, toward my grave
I have travelled but two hours.
To Viola
ORSINO
O thou dissembling cub! What wilt thou be
When time hath sowed a
grizzle
on thy
case?
168
Or will not else thy
craft
169
so quickly grow
That thine own
trip
170
shall be thine overthrow?
Farewell, and take her; but direct thy feet
Where thou and I henceforth may never meet.
VIOLA
My lord, I do
protest
173
—
OLIVIA
O, do not swear!
Hold little faith
175
, though thou hast too much fear.
Enter Sir Andrew
His head bleeding
SIR ANDREW
For the love of God, a surgeon! Send one
presently
176
to Sir Toby.
OLIVIA
What’s the matter?
SIR ANDREW
H’as broke
179
my head across and has given Sir Toby
a bloody
coxcomb
180
too. For the love of God, your help! I had
rather than forty pound I were at home.
OLIVIA
Who has done this, Sir Andrew?
SIR ANDREW
The count’s gentleman, one Cesario. We took him
for a coward, but he’s the very devil
incardinate.
184
ORSINO
My gentleman, Cesario?
SIR ANDREW
’Od’s lifelings
186
, here he is! You broke my head for
nothing, and that that I did, I was set on to do’t by Sir Toby.
VIOLA
Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you.
You drew your sword upon me without cause,
But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not.