Twisted (9 page)

“Not safe because of people like
him
. And now he knows where you live,” Hailey informed me.

My anger was rising. I wished I could just take back every word that had slipped out. “You’re not listening to me! How can you even say it’s not safe from him when I just said he was the one watching out for me?! I mean, no one saw us, if he was going to hurt me,” I couldn’t believe I was saying the words, not even in the context of trying to defend him because somehow it still sounded like an accusation against him, “he could have done…whatever. We were all alone.”

Olivia’s brow was furrowed so tightly with worry she was going to have little wrinkle indentations between them when she finally relaxed. “Just how long were you alone with him?”

I threw my hands up in the air. Partly because I didn’t want to answer the question—it had actually been for a couple of hours—and partly because I really, truly was fed up. “You know what? Just forget it,” I snapped. “All I wanted was to let you all know he’s not the bad guy. Not now, not then. That’s it. End of story.”

“Trent said that Ben helped set it up. That
he’s
the one that sent the text. Then bailed at the last minute,” Olivia said.

“And you don’t think he was lying?!” I hissed. I was trying to keep my voice low, afraid of attracting attention.

Olivia’s wrinkle grew more intense. I was worried she might cause some permanent damage.

“He admitted to killing her!” she whispered, her big blue eyes terrified. “And you were alone with him!”

I swung an angry look her way. “What are you talking about?” I wondered how I had let this conversation get so completely out of control. “Why would he admit to something he didn’t do?” I glanced his way, fearful he’d hear this insane conversation about himself. He seemed to be deeply entranced by his book. His picked over lunch before him, forgotten.

Hailey leaned forward and whispered, “He said to an investigator ‘I killed her’. And look,” she said, motioning with her head, “there he sits. He totally got away with it. It’s no effing wonder Alec is having such a hard time!”

My head was spinning. This just didn’t sound right to me. Granted, I still didn’t know Ben well, but it just seemed unfathomable. There’s no way he’d be here if he’d admitted to anything of the sort.

“He admitted to killing her? There is no way.” My gaze broke from Hailey and I looked at Olivia who seemed ready to cry, then to Phoebe who had her eyes narrowed and her lips pinched together. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest. Judging by the way she was jiggling in her seat I was pretty sure her legs were crossed at the knee with one foot wildly swinging under the cafeteria table.

“If anyone cares about the
real
truth,” she said when my gaze finally settled on her, “what he said was, ‘It’s my fault’.”

“
Exactly
!” Olivia yelled in a whisper so loud I couldn’t imagine Ben
not
hearing.

Phoebe leaned in to her. “It is not the same thing! But that’s how the rumors got started that he admitted to it. He felt guilty that it happened. And obviously he still does,” she said, favoring him with a sympathetic glance. “But that doesn’t mean he was physically responsible, or really, responsible at all. He just
felt
responsible.”

“So everyone treats him like he’s guilty?” I asked, my voice edging on hysteria. “Like
he
hasn’t already been through enough? And you don’t think that’s unfair?”

“You weren’t here, you don’t know how bad it was,” Hailey hissed. “You didn’t see what it was like.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing!” I shot back. “I have an open mind and clear perspective. My mind isn’t warped by the lies and the gossip. Everyone here is so blinded by their hatred.”

Phoebe chimed in nervously. “I’m glad he walked you home,” she said. “But he’s right. You shouldn’t be out that late at night, alone. What were you doing? Did Remy know you were out?”

“Yeah, answer that why don’t you?” Hailey noted hotly. “If you weren’t out looking to be stalked, what
were
you doing?”

“Hailey, you’re being ridiculous,” Phoebe growled.

Despite Phoebe coming to my defense, I’d had enough. I scooped up my blueberry yogurt and my turkey and cheddar sandwich.

“Where are you going?” Olivia gasped. Apparently it was unheard of to leave their table in the middle of lunch.

I didn’t answer. I marched over to Ben who had a whole table to himself. I dropped my cellophane-wrapped sandwich down next to him. His eyes parted from his book to give me a questioning look.

“I’m sitting here,” I hesitantly told him. “So please don’t get up and leave me here by myself.” I pulled out the chair across from him and crammed myself into it. 

“Why aren’t you with your friends?” He glanced past me, toward them. I didn’t have to turn around to know that they were probably all giving him a mouth-wide-open kind of stare.

“Maybe they’re not my friends,” I huffed. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Phoebe was my friend. But I wasn’t in the mood to be too finicky over the details.

He cocked his head to the side as he looked over the table at me. His face clouded over and his eyes seemed to harden.

“No,” I said gently. “It has nothing to do with you.” Once again a smidgen of a fib, but clearly,
that
was none of his business.

He shrugged.

“I just got tired of hearing about Olivia and Henry’s all too perfect romance.” I figured since I’d already started to fib, I may as well embellish.

I got a blank stare from Ben for my effort at dishonesty.

“So, can I sit here?” I asked. I began tugging at the stubborn plastic wrap that seemed to be suctioned to my sandwich.

“Well, I’m not going to pick you up and move you,” he decided, finally giving me a verbal response.

“Good.” I managed to undo the wrapping but mutilated my sandwich in the process. “Can you be bothered to put your book down so you can talk to me?” I asked hopefully.

I managed to peel the wrap all the way off. I set my torn sandwich out on a napkin. When I looked up, still waiting for Ben’s response I realized his eyes were darting around the cafeteria. Several tables, including Alec’s, were looking our way.

“Sorry,” I said quietly.

He sighed. “It’s okay.”

My stomach plummeted because I realized it really
wasn’t
okay.

I started walking out with Phoebe and Hailey but I had purposefully left my calculus book in my locker so that I would have to go back for it. I told them to go ahead without me so I could backtrack. I had seen Alec talking to Ty and Blake in hushed tones by his locker. My instincts told me they were up to something. Common sense told me it involved Ben. I was worried it had to do with our eating lunch together. I went to my locker to retrieve my book and then went out the north door.

When I swung the doors open I walked out to find Alec confronting Ben. Again. His two cohorts, Ty and Blake, were standing off to the side. Ben didn’t look the least bit fearful. If I had to put a label on it, I’d say he looked…resigned.

I stood there, as if my feet were cemented into the sidewalk. My gaze swung from Ben to the other three. I rested my glare on Blake and Ty. I figured if Alec had an issue with Ben that was bad enough. But this three on one business was just not fair. It happened far too often. The first day was the only time I’d ever actually seen Alec do anything physically to him. But no one could tell me that verbally assaulting Ben was any better.

Blake seemed to mistake my glare for an admiring appraisal. He loped over to me and swung an arm around my shoulder. Just as he had the first day of school when he was checking out my car.

“How about that ride? In fact, you could just sit back, relax and let me drive,” he drawled. He actually had the audacity to wink at me after delivering such a cheesy line.

“That’s never going to happen,” I assured him. I shrugged out from under him, moving away so I could glare up at him. “Just for the record, no one else drives my car. Ever.”

Alec seemed to be taking a break in his harassment of  Ben to see how far Blake would get with me. I glanced at Ben. I felt embarrassed about the situation Blake had put me in. He no longer wore his typical passive expression. He seemed pissed. It wasn’t a look I’d ever seen on him before.

Blake noted the look Ben and I exchanged. He probably also noted how my eyes lingered on Ben long after he looked away from me.

“Hey don’t mind him. He’s just a nobody loser.” As if to prove he was every bit the moron I thought him to be he didn’t stop there. “Come on, just a quick spin?”

He reached out to play with a spiraling strand of my hair. I flashed out my hand and caught his thumb mid-reach, bending it back far enough to make him yelp.

“Keep your hands off of me!” I let go of Blake’s thumb and took a step closer to Ben. “Actually, I was looking for Ben. I was hoping he’d go for a ride with me.”

Ben made a face to let me know he was not happy with my request. I was, after all, asking him in front of the one person he had warned me about.

“I was hoping we could talk about the Lit assignment.
Please?” I smiled hopefully, as though that might actually help. Even though I knew the effort was probably wasted on him.

Alec took a step back. He eyed Ben and me as if the sight of what was happening was so intriguing he needed to have a better view to take it all in.

“We’ll finish this later, McCaffey,” he finally said. He strolled away with his thug-wannabes traipsing behind.

“I was serious. Will you go for a ride with me?” I asked when they were out of earshot.

He stood there thinking it over for so long I was sure he was trying to manufacture a reasonable excuse to decline.

“Where’re we going?” he finally asked. A smile flickered across his lips and some of the tension seemed to flow away.

“Anywhere you want,” I told him as a smile took over my face.

“Can I drive?” Ben asked, giving me a sidelong glance as he nudged my shoulder.

Laughing now, I shook my head, wondering if he was actually trying to be funny. I hoped he was but my answer was still the same. “Nope.”

“What’s up with you and that car anyway?” he wanted to know.

I looked at him through narrowed eyes as we made our way off school property. “What do you mean?”

“I was just wondering why you drive a car like that. You don’t really seem to like the attention you get from it.”

“It was Trey’s.”

He nodded his understanding.

As we made our way through the parking lot I did my best to ignore Hailey’s frustrating look of disgust. I got a giddy look from Phoebe that just about made up for it. Then I saw Olivia’s look of horror as she peeked over Henry’s shoulder and my stomach plummeted again.   

We slid into the car and I noticed Alec and his pals were leaning against his truck watching us. I suddenly started to worry.

“Is this going to cause problems for you?” I asked.

“Probably,” he answered with a shrug while not wasting a glance at them.

I started my car and was getting ready to put it in gear when he asked about putting the top down. It was my turn to groan. “That’s not really a good idea.”

“Why? Doesn’t it work?”

“It works fine. It’s just…”

He looked at me. Waiting. “What?”

I sighed. “The wind is not kind to my hair. Believe me. You don’t want to be subjected to the sight of me with windblown hair.”

He gave me a quizzical look. “I can’t believe it’s that bad.”

I laughed at his naivety. “You have no idea.”

He shrugged. “It’s just that even when you’re out running you still look…”

I waited but he never picked up what he was saying. I wondered if just maybe he’d been about to give me a compliment. But the fact that he’d even noticed me when I was running might be compliment enough.

“Oh, why not,” I decided. The vicious rain clouds from the morning had cleared leaving the day hot and muggy. Going topless might be a good way to cool down. I leaned over Ben, resting an arm on his leg. I wasn’t expecting the jolt it gave me.  I reached into the glove compartment in front of him and pulled out a rubber band from my stash.  

“Just give me a sec,” I said. I pushed the button that controlled the ragtop to let it slide down into place. My fingers flew through my hair, forming it into a sloppy braid. It wouldn’t keep it completely under control but it would help. My hair was likely to frizz and kink at the scalp but at least the damage would be minimal.

Alec, Blake and Ty were still perched against the truck. They watched the whole exchange, including me resting half in Ben’s lap. Just to be spiteful, I was tempted to let Ben drive. For Blake’s benefit. I was tempted, but I didn’t cave.

***

We found ourselves at the river. Not in the park but somewhere downstream where it was completely deserted. I took a blanket out of my backseat.

“Are you always so prepared?” he wondered.

I nodded. “I love watching the stars. Sometimes, when I’m all alone, I spread out my blanket and just look up and wonder what’s really out there.”

I spread the worn quilt out over the grass. We were on the top of an embankment. No one else was in sight. I sat cross-legged and he settled down next to me, so close our knees touched.

“Can I ask you something?” I wanted to know.

“You can ask,” he replied. His tone said I could ask but he wouldn’t guarantee an answer.

“What did you mean, the other night at the river, when you asked if I knew what kinds of things happened to your friends?”

He sighed, running his hand over his face. “I lost most of my friends right after it happened. I can’t completely blame them because a lot of it had to do with their parents at the time. Pretty much everyone assumed I was guilty, in one way or another. Most of my friends’ parents wouldn’t allow them to hang out with me anymore. I was actually okay with it because I was at a point where I just really didn’t care about much of anything,” he paused, lost in thought.

“Would you believe Ty was one of my best friends back then? I was on the football team so I knew Alec and we’d hang out. Alec and I were never really great friends but we all hung around the same crowd. Until I started dating Katie. He didn’t want anyone dating his little sister. Anyhow,
after
it all happened, between parents forbidding any association with me and people just drifting away…Alec made it miserable for the few people that did still talk to me. He harassed them in ways you can’t imagine.” He looked at me. “
That
is what I was talking about. He hates that you don’t hate me like everyone else does.” He took a deep breath and then exhaled worriedly. “I really shouldn’t have come with you today. It’s just not a good idea for you to be around me.”

“What do you mean by harassed them?”

Ben stretched out on the blanket and leaned back on his elbows. “Anyone who tried to be nice ended up with slashed tires, a rock through their windshield, rumors would be spread…Probably the worst was something Alec did to one of Katie’s best friends. Her name’s Allie. She’s a junior. Anyway, I always got along really well with her. She was really supportive after everything happened. Somehow someone got pictures of her changing in the locker room. They were left all over school. I know Alec was behind it. She never talked to me again after that.”

He was quiet for a while. “I think that’s what happened with Ty, too. He came over a few times after I was cleared. Then one day he showed up at school with a broken arm. The story was a few guys got together to goof off before practice and he ended up at the bottom of a pile up. The thing is, I think there was more to it than that. Unless he’s with Alec, he’s never so much as looked my way since then.”

“That’s just so wrong,” I said.

“Then there’s the gossip,” he said quietly. “There’re still so many rumors going around about me. I just don’t want you to get tangled up in any of it.” He couldn’t look at me as he said this. His eyes were looking straight ahead but he seemed so much more distant than that. “People are already talking because you asked me to be your Lit partner. Now after eating lunch with you today and this…If they ever found out how much you stop to talk to me in the park, it wouldn’t be good.”

“What if I don’t care about any of those things?”

He finally turned to face me. “You don’t care that you’re stirring up rumors?”

I raised my eyebrows and bit the inside of my cheek. I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that.

“Things have kind of died down the last year. That’s because I keep to myself. I don’t give them anything to talk about. Ever. Having you sit with me at lunch and now asking me to come with you today, those are the kinds of things that give them something to talk about. It’s like jumpstarting the gossip all over again.”

“You’re worried about what people are saying?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I’m beyond caring what they say about me.” He paused as though he was admitting something difficult. “I just don’t think it’s fair that my reputation drags you down. And believe me, it will.”

“What if I say I don’t care about my reputation?”

“I’d say it sounds like a nice gesture. But you have no idea how ugly it was before. I don’t think it would ever be
that
bad again but it could be unpleasant.”

“Is it
me
or
you
that you want to keep that from happening to?”

He thought that through. “I guess you could say that I’m selfish, but it’s both. It’s not just the kids at school. Something this huge affects the whole town. There are still people who don’t have all the facts and they’re angry and bitter.”

“And you think by us being friends, it’ll throw the whole town into upheaval?” I asked. It sounded like a pretty big expectation to live up to.

“No.” He was silent for a while. I felt he wanted to say more but he was struggling with it. I gave him some time. He finally continued. “It’s just that some people think I had more involvement than I did. Those people think I should have had some sort of punishment. I guess they think I got off too easy.” He paused again and my heart went out to him. He didn’t deserve punishment. But regardless he did not get off easy, at least not emotionally. “I think if those people heard I was hanging out with a girl again, no matter how innocent it is…” he said quietly. “I’m afraid there will be some kind of backlash. Not just for me, but my parents. We got a lot of threats afterwards. Those have died down now but like I said, there were plenty of people who wanted me convicted.”      

“But you
are
completely innocent.” I didn’t know the whole story. I didn’t know if he’d ever trust me enough to tell me what really happened but I believed with every cell in my body that he was innocent in every way.

He turned his head to look at me. His haunted eyes were swimming with so many emotions I couldn’t begin to decipher them all. I reached over and took his hand, entangling his fingers in mine.

He glanced down at our joined hands, watching them as if the sight itself was intriguing. He didn’t say anything as he rubbed his thumb in small circles in my palm. I tried to pretend it didn’t make me go all gooey inside.

“So how do you like being back in town?” he asked.

I smiled. “I love it, mostly. I’m really glad to be living with Remy.”

“Good. And your mom?” he asked. “Have you heard from her?”