Authors: Eden Maguire
‘How’s she doing?’ I asked.
‘You must be the daughter?’ he checked.
I nodded.
‘You look just like her. She’s doing great.’ He smiled as he replaced a chart on a hook at the foot of her bed. ‘Your mom is one interesting lady.’
I picked up on his choice of words. ‘Interesting?’
‘I can’t believe the places she’s been – Italy, England, Romania, Russia, China …’
‘But “interesting”?’
‘Let’s say, I never met a patient quite like her,’ he grinned.
‘You mean difficult? Like, she won’t do a thing you tell her?’
‘I never said that. No, I mean I never saw anyone more determined to make a full recovery than Karen.’
‘And will she?’ I asked. There were voices in the corridor, the sound of laughter.
‘Why not judge for yourself?’ the nurse told me.
Mom came into the room in her sky-blue Japanese robe and satin slippers. The wraparound robe was embroidered with silver swallows. She was walking unaided, joking with the therapist. When she saw me she stretched out her right arm. The left hand twitched but stayed by her side.
I winced.
‘It’ll take time,’ Mom said gently when she saw my downcast face. ‘But I’ll get there in the end, you bet your life.’
I knew Dad was back in Paloma Springs for work so I didn’t hurry home. I took my time, made a detour into town and bought myself a new top that I hoped Orlando would like. It was very fitted and turquoise with lace insets around the neckline.
Back at the car, I picked up a text from Grace. ‘Come to my house. Jude will bring Aaron.’
‘See you there,’ I texted back, working out that I had time to go home, take a shower and still be back in town for six thirty. I was deep in thought as I parked in the drive and went into the house.
Thought process number one – how do we persuade Aaron to hold back and not put his own life at risk?
Thought number two – how long can we risk waiting before Holly goes beyond our reach into Amos’s dark realm?
Undressing in my room, I turned on the shower and stepped in.
Three – how much was I prepared to tell Orlando about what had happened to me by Turner Lake? OK, I’ll give him my surface reasons for joining the River Stone band in the first place – to keep out of my grandmother’s way, to shoot footage of the whole wilderness experience. And the big breakthrough – I’ll tell him that while I was out there by the frozen lake I had a vision proving that Amos was my dark angel after all.
Jarrold’s name won’t come into it though. Best leave him out.
The water was hot. I tilted my head and felt it spray over my face. Music was playing on my sound system, sun shining in through the bedroom window. I shampooed my hair; let the conditioner work its silky magic. Then I reached for a towel and stepped outside the cubicle.
Oh God, I jumped out of my skin! Someone was in the house and I suddenly remembered that I’d left the back door unlocked. Heavy footsteps were coming up the stairs towards my room. Clutching the towel round me, I ran to lock my door.
I pushed and met resistance, got thrown back by the force of the door opening, only just managed to keep my balance.
Jarrold walked in wearing his Explorer’s padded jacket and hiking boots. His presence seemed to fill the room.
I didn’t scream – I hardly ever do that. But my heart was in my mouth. ‘Jeez,’ I breathed.
‘I didn’t mean to scare you,’ he said, not making any more moves towards me. An intense flame burned in his eyes.
‘Well, you did exactly that. What are you doing here?’
‘I quit,’ he told me, his jaw so tense that he hardly parted his lips to talk. ‘I’m out of there, end of story.’
‘You left the Wolf in the Snow band?’ Water trickled from my wet hair down my face on to my shoulders. ‘You’re on the run?’
Jarrold nodded. ‘I’m sorry, Tania. I shouldn’t have come.’ He turned to leave.
‘No, wait! Are you OK? What happened?’
‘I didn’t want to be there any more. I hate the place.’
‘But what will they do when they find out? Ziegler will go crazy. You can’t just walk away – they’ll send people to fetch you.’
Now Jarrold took a couple of paces towards me – close enough for me to take in every detail of his broad, handsome face. And his grey eyes still had the desperate look that made me aware that he was on an emotional brink of some kind, that he might suddenly lose control. ‘I don’t give a crap,’ he told me. ‘All I know is that I had to come and find you.’
‘Jarrold, don’t,’ I begged. I tried desperately to focus on the fact that I’d gone shopping and bought a special top to please Orlando.
‘Ziegler took you and drove you away. I couldn’t bear that.’
Breathe, I told myself. Don’t get drawn into this. ‘It’s OK. He brought me home. Everything’s cool.’
Jarrold inched forward. ‘I had to see for myself.’
My hands were trembling, my flesh tingling. ‘You shouldn’t be here,’ I whispered. He was close enough to kiss me again, unless I found the willpower to step away. I could almost feel the brush of his lips against mine.
My phone lay on the bed. Its ring tone broke what seemed like a never-ending moment.
With a gasp I reached for the phone and answered the call on speakerphone.
‘Tania, it’s Jean-Luc here.’
Jarrold took a sharp breath, swore and turned away.
‘Jean-Luc …’ I was breathless, totally confused.
‘We just got news from Blake to say that they lost Jarrold out by Turner Lake. We pulled in the whole Wolf band.’
‘And?’ As I spoke I watched Jarrold back away towards the window.
‘We think Jarrold might be on his way to your place.’
‘Why? Who said?’
‘Just a theory. Blake says he’s developed a thing for you. She figures that’s where he’s headed. Have you seen him?’
Jarrold’s eyes were narrowed and fixed on me. He didn’t seem to breathe as he waited for my answer.
‘No,’ I told Jean-Luc. ‘He’s not here.’
‘Ah.’ The voice on the phone was disappointed.
Jarrold’s eyes gleamed. Was it victory? Was it relief? Or something else I couldn’t identify? ‘Thank you!’ he mouthed.
‘We need to find him,’ Jean-Luc told me. ‘He’s broken the basic condition of his stay here at New Dawn. Before he arrived he signs a contract with us to stay for a set period, during which time he’s not permitted to leave. If he goes on the run we have to involve the police.’
‘I hear you,’ I said softly. My throat was dry, my heart hammering against my ribs.
‘So if you see him within the next few hours, before we call the cops …’
‘I’ll tell you right away,’ I promised.
‘Good, Tania. Thank you. Let’s speak soon.’
Click. The phone call ended. At the same moment, a car engine cut out at the bottom of the drive and a door slammed shut.
‘Aurelie,’ Jarrold reported from his position by the window. ‘It looks like they sent reinforcements. So where’s the walk-in wardrobe for me to hide?’
‘This is not funny!’ A fresh panic set in now that I’d lied to Jean-Luc. ‘Stay here. Let me go down and talk to her.’
Running downstairs, I opened the front door before Aurelie had chance to ring the bell. ‘Hey. You’re looking for Jarrold?’ I gabbled.
She nodded then kissed me on both cheeks – mwah-mwah – and smiled as if this was an ordinary social visit. ‘Can I come in?’
Stepping aside to let her pass, I smelled her gorgeous perfume and noted the gold D&G brand on her shades. ‘I just spoke to Jean-Luc,’ I explained. ‘I already told him Jarrold hadn’t been here.’
Aurelie paused at the bottom of the stairs and glanced up. ‘You’re sure?’ she quizzed. Then, without waiting for an answer, she walked on into the kitchen and looked around at the coffee cups Mom had brought back from France, the Murano glass fruit bowls, the painted Russian dolls. ‘Pretty house.’
‘Thanks. Yes, honestly, I haven’t seen him.’
‘How’s your mom?’
‘Making progress.’
‘Good.’ Aurelie didn’t miss a thing. She glanced at the Italian coffee machine, picked up a blue and white antique plate and studied the maker’s name – Wedgwood. ‘How was Jarrold on the wilderness walk?’ she asked casually.
‘Normal, I guess. You know how he is.’
‘Tell me.’
‘He doesn’t say a whole lot. Well, he couldn’t, could he? He was an Outsider.’ The more at home Aurelie made herself, the more awkward I grew.
‘I didn’t pick him out as a guy who would run,’ Aurelie mused.
‘So what did he do? I mean, when did Blake and the others realize he’d gone?’
‘That would be early this morning.’ Having finished her survey of the kitchen, she strolled back out into the hall. ‘They woke at dawn and he was missing. They had to walk twenty miles back to New Dawn to hand over the information.’ She paused at the foot of the stairs and glanced at me shivering in my towel. ‘You must want to put on some clothes, Tania.’
‘No, it’s cool.’ I tried but couldn’t stop rushing this answer or blushing bright red. So I lurched sideways into a different topic, trying to snatch back the initiative. ‘How’s Holly doing?’
‘Excellently.’ Aurelie dazzled me with her white, even smile. ‘Well, you saw for yourself.’
‘Aaron – her boyfriend – he heard about her and Channing and he’s devastated.’
‘These things happen. He’s young. He’ll get over it.’ She placed her hand on the banister, lightly drumming her slender fingers. ‘How would you and Aaron feel about coming to a party on Friday evening?’
Whoosh – she took me by surprise, grabbed back the upper hand. ‘At New Dawn?’
‘Where else? Jean-Luc is going back to Paris – he said he told you. So this will be his leaving party. We’re combining it with Papa’s fiftieth birthday.’
‘Cool,’ I murmured. I was on tenterhooks, listening out for and dreading the slightest sound from Jarrold. ‘Can I bring Grace and Jude?’
‘It’s open house so please bring as many friends as you like,’ she said with a smile. She gave the banister a final tap. ‘I’m going to miss my twin brother so I want all his friends to be there – to make this party very special for him. You’ll come, I hope?’
‘For sure.’ Leave, please leave! I prayed that she’d believed what I’d said, that Jarrold would stay hidden until she and her car were well out of sight.
‘So if Jarrold does try to contact you …’
‘I’ll let you know!’
‘Good.’ She gave me the mwah-mwah double kiss and another burst of perfume. ‘Au revoir, Tania – until tomorrow night.’
I closed the door behind her and raced upstairs. I flung open my bedroom door. There was a note on the bed but no Jarrold – only an open window with the drapes blowing in the breeze.
T, you know how I feel about you,
the note said.
I love you and I can’t be without you – J x
‘W
hat did I do?’ I begged Grace to tell me. ‘I get this note and I don’t know what I did to make it happen.’
‘Show me,’ she said quietly.
I handed her Jarrold’s message written on a yellow Post-it in a surprisingly even, flowing hand.
‘“I love you and I can’t be without you”,’ she read. She turned the paper over, examined the sticky strip on the back, turned it over again.
‘How did that happen?’ I sighed.
We were in Grace’s big, open-plan kitchen with maybe ten minutes to spare before Jude and Aaron showed up.
Grace got me a glass of iced water and sat me down at the breakfast bar. ‘I have to tell you something, Tania. Knowing you, it’s probably not anything
you
did – OK?’
‘I gave out the wrong signals,’ I argued. ‘Guys don’t write love letters unless they get the idea you want them to.’
‘Sometimes they do. They’re blind, or else they misread the signals. Sometimes they’re just psychos.’
Ignoring this last remark, I blundered on. ‘I did tell Jarrold about Orlando, or I tried to. We were together at the triathlon. Jarrold knows I’m not—’
‘Available?’ Grace interrupted. ‘But that won’t always stop psycho-boy. What seeing Orlando on Saturday did in Jarrold’s mind was turn the whole of life into a competition where you’re the prize. He’s the type who has to be a winner.’
‘I let him kiss me,’ I confessed, my lip trembling.
‘Yeah?’ She gave me a long look. ‘The same way you invited him into your house, into your bedroom while you took a shower?’
‘No way! You know I wouldn’t do that.’
‘Exactly. So cut yourself a little slack, Tania. And remember, this is what they do.’
‘“They” meaning the dark angels?’
She nodded. ‘You’ve been here before. Last time it was super-cool Daniel with his party-organizing and his horse-whispering. OK, so Jarrold is a more macho version, but he’s basically out there to seduce you and pull you over to their side.’
‘I don’t know. I can’t figure it out.’
‘Believe me!’ Grace urged. ‘Throw the note in with the trash and forget about Jarrold – the kiss, the whole I-can’t-live-without-you histrionics, everything.’ The doorbell rang and she set off to answer it, but she stopped in the hallway. ‘You do want to forget about him, don’t you?’
I took a gulp of water then nodded. ‘Totally,’ I muttered. Even if she was wrong about Jarrold, I loved Orlando. To show her I meant what I said, I grabbed the note and screwed it into a ball.
I was checking my text messages while Grace brought Jude and Aaron into the kitchen. There was one from Mom, updating me on progress in her latest physical therapy session, another from Orlando saying he was worried about me after our latest Skype session and how we totally had to talk. He signed it with three kisses.
Come home! I thought. Be here now, by my side!
The third message was from Aurelie. ‘Sorry, I meant to tell you – theme for tomorrow’s party is Native American,’ it read. ‘No costume – no admittance. See you at seven thirty p.m.’
‘Note?’ Grace quickly checked with me as the boys took Cokes from the fridge.
‘In with the trash,’ I confirmed. If only I could screw my doubts and confusions into a ball and throw them away like the note. Or erase the words written on the small yellow page and now firmly lodged in my head. ‘T, you know how I feel about you …’